Skip to comments.Chinese Fortune Cookie - "You Are Not Illiterate"
Posted on 03/14/2010 11:42:48 AM PDT by BermanPost
Over the weekend I got a fortune cookie that read "You are not illiterate". Not the funniest fortune I have seen, but not bad. What is the funniest legitimate (as in not a friend pulling a prank) you have seen?
The two funniest I have seen were "You will be hungry soon, order take out now" and "Lock the door, someone is coming". Can you top those?
YOU ARE NOT ILLEGITIMATE
“Help! I’m being held hostage in a fortune cookie factory”
Theres always the classic “That was not chicken”..
“Can you top those?”
A put a lot of funny stuff here:
Close Encounter with the Loony Left [link-list]
... and here ...
Obama’s Outstanding Record of Dip-lunacy [several headlines and links]
I have heard those jokes, but have you ever actually gotten one that says that?
Keep this card. You’ll need it in 3 hours
Wing Ho’s Chinese Delivery 773-472-****
Thank G*d no I haven’t!
A more advanced version of the “you will be hungry soon, order take out now”. Would be more interesting if instead of the delivery number of the place it was the local emergency room.
No joke, but I once got a real fortune that said, “Your mouth is moving but no one is listening.” That was depressing.
LOL. That one is reserved for women.
No, alas have never gotten that, although myself and a coworker both got “Happiness is right across the table” simultaneously at a chinese restaurant, lol. (we’re both dudes).
i jot a relly funy 1 once, butt i didnt undrestand the wrds
“Welcome to Flee Lepubric”
I got one that said “You will be fortunate in everything.”
That’s like the ultimate fortune cookie.
"You will go to a gay party."
“Your request for no MSG was ignored”
OK, I didn’t get that one. But I did once get:
“You will be invited to a karaoke party”
...shortly before being sent on a business trip to Japan, wherein one of the evening social activities was karaoke.
(A CHRISTMAS STORY)
BTW, I listen to Rush on 1200 AM at the Cape Cod Canal. It comes in great down there. Must be my antenna.
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