Florida vampire to run for president

WTSP ^ | 3.15.10

[Perdogg]

Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C. to become the nation's first vampire president.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

[a fool in paradise]

He sucks.

[Impy]

"Sharkey was once on the Executive Committee of the Hillsborough Co. Republican Party (HCRP) in the 1990s, but A.J. Matthews, HCRP State Committeeman, says he didn't show any of the extreme behaviors he's exhibiting now.

"He does believe in Republican values," Matthews said. "Is he going to make a big splash with his current identification of being a vampire? That's up to the voters to decide."

With the popularity of those dumb vampire movies this may be our best bet to win the college age vote.

[a fool in paradise]

I guess he forgot that vampires are preternaturally cute.

He is a 'fancy lad'.

[a fool in paradise]

You’d never catch Christopher Lee in a trucker cap.

No, but I could picture Ted "Lurch" Cassidy wearing one.

[TheOldLady]

Okay.

Fine.

Not counting Gary Oldman.

;-D

[Pyro7480]

I didn't know Ronnie Dio was running for office.

[I Buried My Guns]

I know he is a freaky dude and all, and I do not approve of vampires in elected office, and I would most likely not hit it off with him in a social scenario, but when I read that he is 45 and his GF is 19, I said a spontaneous "Niiiiiiiiiiiice".

Sorry, couldn't help it, Although according to the commonly-accepted rule of "your age divided by two, plus seven", the youngest he could date and not be creepy is 29.5.

[Grunthor]

“Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online.”

The internet is a fine replacement for having millions of dollars.

[Grunthor]

“Cork” soakers”

My mudda used dat joke once.

ONCE.

[Grunthor]

Your picture needs a caption;

“Actual size”

[TheOldLady]

Now that's just piling on. How many ways can one guy be creepy? His being a vampire who can't even give a bite stronger than a hickey isn't creepy enough for you? Gee whiz. </s>

[Arthur Wildfire! March]

Thank you for this important ping. A vampire? We have enough of them in DC already.

Besides, America is going to be tired of a cartoon president by 2012.

[Titan Magroyne]

>>> “Please tell me he’s not a Libertarian... That’s the last thing we “l”ibertarians need. We’ve got great ideas, and we never compromise on principles, but we also seem to attract every nutcase out there that hasn’t already been scooped up by the Dems.”

He was, until switching to run on the Pubbie ticket.

Yeah, I know. It’s embarrassin’.

[Impy]

In all seriousness this “vampire” guy is a creep.