Skip to comments.Police: Drunk Pa. Man Tried To Revive Dead Opossum
Posted on 03/26/2010 1:45:51 PM PDT by rightwingintelligentsia
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. (AP) - Police say they charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a long-dead opossum along a highway.
State police Trooper Jamie Levier says several witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday along Route 36 in Oliver Township, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh.
The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. He says another saw Wolfe attempting to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.
(Excerpt) Read more at cbsnews.com ...
A new version of “Groundhog Day”?
Now, that’s what’s called blind drunk.
Tastes like chicken!
Some might say this doesn’t belong on FreeRepublic, but heck, it makes every bit as much sense as a lot of what our politicians have been up to lately.
Just caught that this happened in Punxsutawney, PA. ROTFL!
Obviously he thought it was Punxsutawney Phil and was trying to help
Probably a lot safer than trying to give mouth-to-mouth to a *live* opossum.
Was he crying out, “Phil! Phil! Get up, Phil!”?
Joe Biden performs drunkin CPR
You won’t see that in a beer commercial.
Man that is one ugly ‘possum.
“The trooper says one person saw Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance.”
Reminds me of the time I found a local street preacher mumbling and gesticulating in my parking lot. He was trying to cast out a visitor’s Dodge Demon. I told him we would just have it towed if it caused any problems.
It probably seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe he was trying to impress one of those naked PETA babes.
My cat got in the cloths dryer. She looked pretty bad when I pulled her out. I wrap her in a soaking wet towel, gave her mouth to mouth and rushed her to the vet. The vet said my mouth to mouth saved her life.
And if you ever find yourself in a similar position be careful to only blow small bursts of air. The cat’s lungs are a lot smaller than mine. Just kidding but it is true.
Was it an ex-oppusum, or just pinin’ for the fjords?
While opossums are much more given to fjord pining than are Norwegian Blue Parrots, I believe this one was a sincerely ex opossum.
That made everybody LOL !
Many of us, me included, thought obambacare was a roadkilled possum after Scott Brown's win. But the marxists managed to raise it from the dead anyway (obamazombiecare?) So maybe this drunk was inspired by obamacare's revival?
While the Dems no doubt envision the parties who performed this revival in terms of heroic ER personnel nobly giving their all to miraculously save a life, I think the rest of the country was thinking along the lines of those cheesy '30s Frankenstein flicks where the megawatts are zapped into a sordid mass of stitched-together body parts stolen from graveyards.
Now we're all living in dread to see whether Cap & Trade or Shamnesty become the next sequels, ala Bride of Frankenstein.
Hmm.... perhaps there are some good photoshopping opportunities here, based on old Zombie/Undead movie posters....
Maybe he wanted to see if it was just playing possum, or was dead-dead.
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