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Bullying and Harassing
Denver Post.com ^ | April 9, 2010 | Patriot777

Posted on 04/09/2010 1:41:13 PM PDT by Patriot777

DALLAS — A 13-year-old hangs himself in a Johnson County, Texas, barn. An 8-year-old jumps out of a two-story school building in Houston. Nine Massachusetts teenagers face jail time after allegedly harassing a girl so mercilessly that she killed herself. These incidents, all of which took place in one week, reframe the age-old phenomenon of the schoolyard bully.

Students are turning to suicide, experts say, as an escape from taunts that now continue beyond the school day through cyberspace.

Such drastic responses, they say, reveal how an action once considered a rite of passage has turned into a public health issue.

"You used to get a reprieve every time you went home," said Beaux Wellborn, who helps lead the Bully Suicide Project, a Dallas effort started in November to address the surge in suicides. "Kids today don't get a reprieve. It's a constant cycle. Imagine waking up and getting a text message that someone hates you, then dealing with it at school and getting home to face it on Facebook and Instant Messenger."

(Excerpt) Read more at denverpost.com ...


TOPICS: Education
KEYWORDS: bullies; bully; bullying; cyberstalking; facebook; grieving; harass; monsters; myspace; parents; phoebeprince; school; stalking; suicide; suicides; tormenting
When I was a child, I was bullied mercilessly by other kids and even teachers from elementary through high school, but at that time there wasn't the internet and cell phones to broadcast the victim worldwide. If I was a kid in this day and age, my parents would have likely placed me in a Christian school or home schooled me and the internet, except for studies, and cell phone use would have been very tightly monitored. Would a Congressional bill on bullying address the problem adequately? What major steps do teachers, superintendents and parents need to take to completely eliminate bullying and harassment in school? What are your views on this serious matter and what do you think should be done about it?
1 posted on 04/09/2010 1:41:14 PM PDT by Patriot777
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To: Patriot777

It’s no longer about teasing, it’s stalking and nonstop harassment. And rape, as is the case with the monsters in Mass. It’s more feral. It used to be about paper throwing and spitballs and name calling, but that was tame. Back then bullies were dealt with swiftly and the bully was punished, not the victim for retaliating.


2 posted on 04/09/2010 1:43:09 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Patriot777

It hurt their self-esteem, they couldn’t take it.


3 posted on 04/09/2010 1:43:37 PM PDT by GeronL (There is only a "Happily ever after" for you if you're the one writing your own script)
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To: GeronL

Uh, no, this isn’t about ‘not being able to take it.’ This is about stalking, rape, harassment, writing “Mission Accomplished” on a Facebook page, tormenting a grieving family. This is feral, neanderthal behavior.


4 posted on 04/09/2010 1:45:02 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Niuhuru

Good points. I hate bullies. We have our own bullies here on FR who daily attack and make fun of people of a certain religion. I think there is a national anti-bullying wave happening right now, and I would not want to be a documented bully in the near future.


5 posted on 04/09/2010 1:48:15 PM PDT by 999replies (Thune/Rubio 2012)
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To: Niuhuru

I would truly hate to be a kid today.


6 posted on 04/09/2010 1:48:20 PM PDT by basil (It's time to rid the country of "Gun Free Zones" aka "Killing Fields")
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To: Niuhuru

Publik skool products, just acting the way they have been taught I would bet.


7 posted on 04/09/2010 1:48:46 PM PDT by GeronL (There is only a "Happily ever after" for you if you're the one writing your own script)
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To: Niuhuru

#1 the girl in Massachusetts wasnt raped. The boy was charged with statutory rape, its obvious the sex was consensual and she had sex with more than one boy. As far as the internet goes, turn the damn computer off and take the cellphone away.


8 posted on 04/09/2010 1:50:19 PM PDT by ConservativeNewYorker (FDNY 343 NYPD 23 PAPD 37)
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To: Patriot777

I feel sorry for any kid who has to go through bullying, but I have to say, why don’t kids fight back? I was bullied all through 6th grade, 7th grade started and the bullying started again, in the middle of class 1 day I had enough, got out of my seat and proceeded to beat the girl up who was bullying me, the teacher accidently got punched by me trying to get me off of the bully. I’m not a violent person but I knew the bullying had to stop and I had to stand up for myself for it to stop.


9 posted on 04/09/2010 1:54:39 PM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: 999replies

Let it all come out. Put the bullying filth in juvie and let the decent students have a chance.


10 posted on 04/09/2010 1:55:45 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Ballygrl

Oh, and I forgot to add, I was never bullied again.


11 posted on 04/09/2010 1:56:28 PM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: GeronL

I don’t get it. All these bullies had futures that were bright and these idiots ruin their own future over something this trivial. What evil made them do this? It’s not about public school, just parents who are teaching their kids this wohle illogical “win at all costs” mentality. It’s great if directed professionally, but these people turned it inward.


12 posted on 04/09/2010 1:57:39 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Patriot777

Hell, we ALL had/put up with/knew bullies when we went to school...some of us, 45 years ago or so. But I don’t recall any of my friends killing themselves over it! These aren’t bullies today. They’re thugs who need the shite kicked out of them, just for a START!


13 posted on 04/09/2010 1:57:40 PM PDT by Oldpuppymax
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To: Oldpuppymax

Exactly..No charges, just beat their asses..


14 posted on 04/09/2010 2:01:29 PM PDT by ConservativeNewYorker (FDNY 343 NYPD 23 PAPD 37)
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To: Niuhuru

More of a lose at all costs mentality these days.


15 posted on 04/09/2010 2:02:15 PM PDT by GeronL (There is only a "Happily ever after" for you if you're the one writing your own script)
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To: 999replies

I don’t know, the LDS crowd gives as good as they take and the Catholic Freepers are no slouches in defending themselves about the only religion I see really harrassed is Islam and may it always be so!


16 posted on 04/09/2010 2:04:37 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Mike Mathis is my name,opinions are my own,subject to flaming when deserved!)
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To: Ballygrl

7th grade started and the bullying started again, in the middle of class 1 day I had enough, got out of my seat and proceeded to beat the girl up who was bullying me, the teacher accidently got punched by me trying to get me off of the bully.

Bingo. You don’t even have to physically win the fight, just physically retaliate. Preferably in front of the admin or teachers. While I feel for the kids, they ultimately have to learn to defend themselves mentally as well as physically. I am not sure the teachers or admin can really stop it, they can certainly punish it. I would recommend long suspensions of bullies with many truant officer visits to the home during school hours to punish the parents.


17 posted on 04/09/2010 2:04:51 PM PDT by equalitybeforethelaw
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To: Patriot777

I think the internet adds to it for kids.

Kids form a family feeling around forums and different things on the net, we do similar here on FR.

They get teased at school like we did but many now come home to find comfort on the internet instead of their real family.

Some on the net aren’t who they say they are or they play cruel games to entertain themselves and others.

Think about the teen who tricked young boys into sending embarrassing photos of themselves (he pretended to be female), then blackmailed them into sex.

That sort of thing happens VERY often on the net and not just to kids, but most adults are more emotionally equipped to cope.

I’m not blaming the net as much as the break-down of the family.

Kids have come to seek comfort and approval on the net instead of their family, and many once caught into something they feel ashamed of, are too embarrassed to seek their parents help by that point.

Here’s another sad, very sad story...
http://www.prefixmag.com/forum/prefix-forum/3703/


18 posted on 04/09/2010 2:09:28 PM PDT by Irenic
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To: Patriot777

Change the cell phone number; obviously the target might need the phone for an emergency.


19 posted on 04/09/2010 2:10:34 PM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: Patriot777

Decent children shouldn’t have to attempt to kill others in order to simply be left alone. If the government school system can’t prevent this crap, it should be abolished, period.


20 posted on 04/09/2010 2:15:30 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Espiritu Santo, Espiritu Santo, renueva la faz de la tierra!)
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To: Tax-chick
I told my 11 year old not to put up with crap from other kids but also told him not to instigate anything either. The rules by schools punishing kids for defending themselves is bull$h!t. I told my son it is better to go to the office and get punished than to be seen by other kids as a wimp which escalates the harassment even more towards him.

Decent children shouldn’t have to attempt to kill others in order to simply be left alone. If the government school system can’t prevent this crap, it should be abolished, period.
21 posted on 04/09/2010 2:19:54 PM PDT by CORedneck
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To: Patriot777

There may be many solutions, but I think the number one protector of a child SHOULD be the parent.

Perhaps in some cases, the parent is not aware, through no fault of their own.

But if they are aware, I believe it is their responsibility to see to it that their child is in a safe environment. Whether that means confronting the other parents, going to the principal, switching schools, home schooling, turning off the cell phone/Facebook, whatever.

Also children should be allowed to defend themselves just like adults are.

Continuing along the line of parental responsibility, the parents of the bullies, once made aware of their kids’ behavior, should be responsible to put a stop to it. Or have to pull their kid out of school. Or be held criminally liable for their bully’s behavior. Just like a parent is responsible for their child’s stealing or vandalism, or should be.


22 posted on 04/09/2010 2:22:05 PM PDT by Persevero (Ask yourself: "What does the Left want me to do?" Then go do the opposite.)
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To: Ballygrl

One or two harrassers is one thing but groups of 9 or 10 are beyond what a person can take. The shame a young girl would feel when two of the bullies are boys you had sex with who have then turned around and are taunting you along with girls who have their own thing going with the boys is just heart breaking to think about.

There was just something diabolically Hitchcock like in the way these kids went after this girl. Another film Noir comes to mind, “Gaslight” with Ingrid Bergman where the husband treats a sane woman as though she were insane and arranges events to make her appear so to others! (Come to think of it, that’s what the media tries to do with conservatives)


23 posted on 04/09/2010 2:23:52 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Mike Mathis is my name,opinions are my own,subject to flaming when deserved!)
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To: Ballygrl
I’m not a violent person but I knew the bullying had to stop and I had to stand up for myself for it to stop.

I had this kind of experience when I transferred to a new middle school - eventually I got into it with the guy who was bothering me. It was broken up after a bit by a gym teacher, and soon the guy and his friends started becoming friendly. Teen bullies can be like hyenas sometimes - if they smell uncertainty or a lack of confidence they'll attack but if you fight back you sometimes win their respect.

But a lot of the time it can't be solved with a fist fight - teens place so much importance on forming social cliques and fitting in. Getting humiliated and ostracized on a daily basis can devastate kids, especially the ones with no friends to start with.
24 posted on 04/09/2010 2:25:27 PM PDT by AnotherUnixGeek
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To: CORedneck
The rules by schools punishing kids for defending themselves is bull$h!t.

That's true.

I told my son it is better to go to the office and get punished than to be seen by other kids as a wimp ...

That's a judgment call which could work out okay for him, or not. Either way, he should not have to be in the position to decide, and it's the adults' responsibility to see that he doesn't.

Where else, except for prison, does a person have to decide whether to fight physically against harassment, or live with it undefended? Not in any free workplace - it's economically indefensible, and the person has the choice of leaving the environment. Only schoolchildren and prisoners can't leave.

There's no legitimate reason for evil behavior by minors to be tolerated by the adults in charge.

25 posted on 04/09/2010 2:29:55 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Espiritu Santo, Espiritu Santo, renueva la faz de la tierra!)
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To: Patriot777

You have to teach your children how to defend themselves verbally and physcially. If they don’t learn how to stand up to the Leftists-in-training then how will they do it when they are adults?


26 posted on 04/09/2010 2:32:45 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine
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To: mdmathis6

I don’t know what you are smoking, but you are not in command of the facts. I am not a mormon or Christian, but if you spend any time reading “mormon” posts, they are all posted by anti-mormons, and 99% of any exchanges or comments are also by anti-mormons. There are only two people who ever consitently post legitimate religious mormon threads, and they get only a few respectful comments. I don’t know about you, but I see no purpose in sewing the seeds of ill will.


27 posted on 04/09/2010 2:37:59 PM PDT by 999replies (Thune/Rubio 2012)
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To: Patriot777

And in NJ the teachers’ union pens an email with a prayer that our Governor dies.


28 posted on 04/09/2010 2:39:08 PM PDT by Carley (Are you better off than you were four trillion dollars ago?)
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To: 999replies

Listen here...Newbie...I’ve been hangin’ out on this site for 8 years and I have a pretty good idea “of the facts”. Besides the admin moderators get in when things get a bit too snarky. Now lets look thru some of your “in forum posts” to see just what you are about. Since you are not Mormon or Christian...that leaves you what...atheist or agnostic...or are you “just curious yellow”?

By what moral basis do you even judge “ill will”, that is if you are not Mormon of Christian? Command of the facts...command you own reality first before judging mine!


29 posted on 04/09/2010 3:20:20 PM PDT by mdmathis6 (Mike Mathis is my name,opinions are my own,subject to flaming when deserved!)
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To: Patriot777

no. a congressional bill will not address this. kindness begins at home and in the public square. look how adults treat each other on tv. reality shows - where meanness and deception are prized. just look at any of them. the entertainment industry glorifies bad character and villianry. look at the news shows where commentators routinely argue with one another. how about congress and the white house where angry diatribes and finger pointing are daily fair. anger and lack of self-control are rampant. kids are not taught ‘decent human being 101’ at home or at school. i think public society is doomed if we don’t return back to some kind of moral standard based on the bible. sounds puritanical but we have lost our way and you can’t legislate character especially when those legislating are the worst offenders.


30 posted on 04/09/2010 3:26:24 PM PDT by applpie (u)
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To: Tax-chick
There's no legitimate reason for evil behavior by minors to be tolerated by the adults in charge.

If the government school system can’t prevent this crap, it should be abolished, period.

Public education = Epic FAIL. They first FORCE kids into a multi-cultural stew, then fail to monitor behavior. Kids are understandably insecure in such a setting and settle into clanish behavior for protection. You're either 'cool' or 'uncool' ie. a 'dork' or whatever names they use today.

Woe to the kid who is a loner, has anything physically different, dresses 'funny', etc. I recall at my high school, one boy with cerebral palsey was ostracized just for this reason alone, another girl whose mother dressed her in old fashioned long dresses was a pariah. Too smart, too dumb, too ugly - all vulnerable. And teachers are neither trained nor paid to act as referees. And why should they? In today's climate, even the exceptional teacher who cares enough and has the forceful personality to intervene would probably face disciplinary action. And that's just in the 'good' schools. In schools dominated by gangs, teachers regularly get assaulted if they are too hard on the rowdy students.

At my HS alma mater, an Hispanic honor student, who was captain of the baseball team, was the object of jealousy by some black students. The result? He was shot dead, in the back one day, while walking home from school. It was at an intersection I must have crossed 1,000 times in my school days, about 30 years prior.

We had our known bullies, they even attacked kids who were highly respected, just to prove how tough they were. Lots of fist fights. But no murders. Today it's all gangs and a (expletive) dangerous place to send your kid. Especially if he or she excels. In my considered opinion, the fundamental thing that needs to be done to de-liberalize this country is to

ABOLISH PUBLIC SCHOOLS!

31 posted on 04/09/2010 3:27:15 PM PDT by ARepublicanForAllReasons (President Zero, walking in the footsteps of Hugo Chavez)
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To: 999replies

what does that mean....’in the near future?”. you are not serious about wanting to be a human being. you are probably a liberal troll, right? and liberals are the worst—liberals talk peace, love, hope and then they reveal their inner self which is pure totalitarian with freedom for themselves but nobody else.


32 posted on 04/09/2010 3:31:10 PM PDT by applpie (u)
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To: ARepublicanForAllReasons

Physical, sexual, and emotional abuse do not become “okay” just because someone under 18 is doing it. It’s not okay just because it’s in a state-run institution, either. The government simply should not operate institutions where this happens. If they can’t keep order, they should admit it and close the “schools.”


33 posted on 04/09/2010 3:44:26 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Espiritu Santo, Espiritu Santo, renueva la faz de la tierra!)
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To: Ballygrl

I think the difference here is it wasn’t one bully, it was a group of bullies. Tormenting is now a sport. It’s the topic of discussion and planning in the clique of kids. One person may be easy to avoid or address, a group isn’t.


34 posted on 04/09/2010 3:49:41 PM PDT by FourPeas (God Bless America)
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To: Tax-chick
Did you think I do not agree with you 100%?
I am not 'okay' with what goes on today in public schools, nor what I saw and experienced 'yesterday'. As I said, public education is an epic fail and ought to be abolished. Because it:

1) fails to properly discipline misbehavior, while punishing freedom of expression 2) practices liberal brain-washing
3) promotes cultural conflict
4) doesn't prepare students for the marketplace
5) cannot compete with cash-poor Parochial schools, which provide a superior education at a fraction of the cost of public schools.

I could list many more reasons, as I am certain you and other FReepers could. But 'nuff said. We are in agreement

35 posted on 04/09/2010 4:04:56 PM PDT by ARepublicanForAllReasons (President Zero, walking in the footsteps of Hugo Chavez)
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To: ARepublicanForAllReasons
Did you think I do not agree with you 100%?

No, I understood you: I was just reiterating. I have a lot of kids - repeating myself is an occupational hazard.

36 posted on 04/09/2010 4:06:01 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Espiritu Santo, Espiritu Santo, renueva la faz de la tierra!)
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To: Tax-chick
I have a lot of kids - repeating myself is an occupational hazard.

LOL. I completely understand.

( ;~}

37 posted on 04/09/2010 4:11:56 PM PDT by ARepublicanForAllReasons (President Zero, walking in the footsteps of Hugo Chavez)
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To: CORedneck

I agree with you. The schools are responsible for making sure that kids are safe and supervised while they are on school property, including the bus.

My kids have been told that if a bully enters into a physical altercation with them, to fully defend themselves. They’ve got black belts in karate, so they can handle it.

I told them I don’t care if self-defense is against school rules. It is their right.

I’ll deal with the fallout. Anyone who tries to punish one of my kids for defending themselves is in for a rude awakening. So is the bully.


38 posted on 04/09/2010 4:20:33 PM PDT by cookiedough
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To: Patriot777

Not sure when “bullying” became a crime but in my day full scale retaliation cured most cases of bullying. If it’s more than one you just have to get creative.

My child has full authorization to return fire as appropriate to discourage future unwanted attention.


39 posted on 04/09/2010 4:41:08 PM PDT by RockyMtnMan
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To: cookiedough

But it shouldn’t be this way in the first place! You don’t hear about bullying in Chinese schools, because it’s a place for learning, not learning how to defend yourself on a daily basis! I have personal, extensive experience in bullying. I suffered and almost flunked tenth grade, I flunked the first semester. And then of course my parents blamed me.


40 posted on 04/09/2010 4:52:40 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: ARepublicanForAllReasons

“. I recall at my high school, one boy with cerebral palsey was ostracized just for this reason alone, another girl whose mother dressed her in old fashioned long dresses was a pariah. Too smart, too dumb, too ugly - all vulnerable. And “

Too attractive, too charming, too perky, too humerous (everyone has taken my jokes the wring way), anything that makes you stand out.


41 posted on 04/09/2010 4:53:55 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: mdmathis6

I wonder what this is going to do to the world’s opinion of Americans. It can’t be a good example of our education system (haha) and I can only wonder how many people around the world think of our citizenry as barbarians.


42 posted on 04/09/2010 4:56:07 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Tax-chick

“Decent children shouldn’t have to attempt to kill others in order to simply be left alone.”

Exactly what I’ve said time and time again.


43 posted on 04/09/2010 4:56:42 PM PDT by Niuhuru (The Internet is the digital AIDS; adapting and successfully destroying the MSM host.)
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To: Ballygrl

You get in more trouble than the bully if you kick their butt. First, you get bullied by the bully, then you get bullied by the bureaucracy when you fight back.

Also, when I was a kid, I found the bullies were much more adept at spying out the adult supervision.


44 posted on 04/09/2010 5:01:45 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Build a man a fire; he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire; he'll be warm the rest of his life)
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To: Persevero
Also children should be allowed to defend themselves just like adults are.

Adults are not allowed to defend themselves in areas run by liberals.

45 posted on 04/09/2010 5:03:59 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Build a man a fire; he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire; he'll be warm the rest of his life)
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To: Niuhuru

You’re absolutely right ;-).


46 posted on 04/09/2010 6:24:10 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Espiritu Santo, Espiritu Santo, renueva la faz de la tierra!)
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To: Niuhuru

Of course it shouldn’t be this way! Children should be protected and bullies should be expelled.


47 posted on 04/09/2010 7:25:02 PM PDT by cookiedough
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To: Cyber Liberty

Well, we do have a right to self defense. We can kill in self defense, actually, if we legitimately feel our lives are in danger.


48 posted on 04/09/2010 9:18:03 PM PDT by Persevero (Ask yourself: "What does the Left want me to do?" Then go do the opposite.)
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To: Persevero

Sure, we can kill if we have to. Then, we have to hand over our life’s savings to hire lawyers when the all-powerful stated decides to prosecute us for defending ourselves.


49 posted on 04/10/2010 11:37:54 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Build a man a fire; he'll be warm for a night. Set a man on fire; he'll be warm the rest of his life)
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