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Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
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Posted on 05/25/2010 9:34:38 PM PDT by marshmallow

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

TOPICS: Humor; Religion
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 05/25/2010 9:34:38 PM PDT by marshmallow

To: marshmallow

This is old. I remember it from years ago.

2 posted on 05/25/2010 9:37:02 PM PDT by reg45

To: marshmallow

Finally...a question POtuS can answer from experience.

3 posted on 05/25/2010 9:40:23 PM PDT by jessduntno (If someone calls me a racist I tell them, "you're just saying that because I'm white.")

To: jessduntno

Yup! He just has to call his daddy.

4 posted on 05/25/2010 9:41:48 PM PDT by shibumi (Pablo (the Wily One) signed up for the "Hippo Attack" ping list!)

To: marshmallow

Perhaps Ted Kennedy could e-mail us with the answer.

5 posted on 05/25/2010 9:45:18 PM PDT by Rembrandt (.. AND the donkey you rode in on.)

To: marshmallow

The guy aught to be a writer, he’s got the greatness of comedic touch.

As for Teresa, well...she can’t go to Hell, can she?

6 posted on 05/25/2010 9:45:19 PM PDT by Beowulf9

To: reg45
Been going around at least 30 years. I remember it on type-written sheets of paper long before the Internet.
7 posted on 05/25/2010 9:50:30 PM PDT by FredZarguna (But "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky!" Now THAT'S A TRUE ONE. Honest.)

To: null and void; Jersey Republican Biker Chick

funneeee ping

8 posted on 05/25/2010 10:15:37 PM PDT by Shimmer1

To: marshmallow; All

Same as the probability of a buttered piece of toast landing face down on a carpet is proportional to the cost of the carpet ...

9 posted on 05/25/2010 10:19:30 PM PDT by Lmo56

To: marshmallow

LOL!

10 posted on 05/25/2010 10:20:08 PM PDT by rbosque (11 year Freeper! Combat Economist.)

To: Rembrandt

Old Teddy is still working his way through his 72 virgins.

11 posted on 05/25/2010 10:23:30 PM PDT by Sgt_Schultze (A half-truth is a complete lie)

To: marshmallow

bfl

12 posted on 05/25/2010 10:34:01 PM PDT by Vasilli22

To: marshmallow

There’s a few different versions of this tall tale in existence.

13 posted on 05/25/2010 10:49:10 PM PDT by eclecticEel (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness: 7/4/1776 - 3/21/2010)

To: Sgt_Schultze

Too bad for Kennedy they look like the wife he divorced.

14 posted on 05/26/2010 1:15:18 AM PDT by goat granny

To: marshmallow

15 posted on 05/26/2010 1:42:47 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Play it, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'.")

To: goat granny

16 posted on 05/26/2010 1:43:31 AM PDT by Daffynition ("Play it, Sam, for old times' sake, play 'As Time Goes By'.")

To: Sgt_Schultze

17 posted on 05/26/2010 1:49:30 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (Don't care if he was born in a manger on July 4th! A "Natural Born" citizen requires two US parents!)

To: Daffynition

I would give you an A+ for that.....:O)

18 posted on 05/26/2010 2:28:33 AM PDT by goat granny

To: 2ndDivisionVet

You just had to go there

19 posted on 05/26/2010 9:58:23 AM PDT by Sgt_Schultze (A half-truth is a complete lie)

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