How Soccer is Ruining America: A Jeremiad (In honor of the World Cup)

First Things ^ | 3/5/2009 | Stephen H. Webb

[andy58-in-nh]

I suppose that is a safe choice in your neck of the woods (though it almost looks like the old Houston Oilers jersey). Would you mind if these girls tagged along?:

[dfwgator]

Nice. Which reminds me, one of these days I’m going to have to try Chang Beer.

[GatorGirl]

Then Red Barber clearly did not watch small children try to play.

Now quit stalking me. You’re never going to convince me that young children have the ability to play a good, exciting game of baseball/softball. It’s too complex a sport for young children to play with any skill.

We go to MLB games quite often and enjoy it but I was never so happy when my children decided to concentrate on their other sports.

[cowboyusa]

Soccer is the UN of sports.

[Dr. Sivana]

There is simply no comparison.

I never claimed that the Super Bowl was more prestigious than the World Cup. The U.S. doesn't have to dominate every sport, certainly not one that doesn't tickle the national fancy.

[dfwgator]

And I ordered my official Fellaini wig. ;)

[andy58-in-nh]

I didn’t know Buckwheat was a midfielder.

[dfwgator]

I didn’t know Buckwheat was Belgian. (From Moroccan parents)

But he got hurt, and it killed our chances for qualifying for Europe.

[BornToBeAmerican]

"but for real military regimentation you gotta love the NFL."

When in Rome, do what the ROmans do. I would never put down the NFL. Pads or no pads, some of these guys are huge!!!

"though the only real sports in my opinion involves firearms and fishing poles."

I agree totally with just one exception.....and motors!

[antiRepublicrat]

Second, soccer is the ultimate easy to play sport as you only need the ball.

Or, famously, a sock stuffed with newspaper. :)

especially if you do business abroad, whether you are in Iraq, England, China, or Timbuktu, you are a real ignoramus if you can't talk Pele, Rooney, Zidane or Maradona.

Or at least learn certain phrases. For example, if you're anywhere but Italy, you can say "Materazzi deserved what he got from Zidane" and you'll get a nice round of agreement.

That was the biggest "What the ...!" sports moment ever for me. Completely unexpected, you couldn't see the taunting, just looked like Zedane turned around and laid him out for no reason. I never knew a head-butt could be so brutal.

[antiRepublicrat]

but for real military regimentation you gotta love the NFL.

George Carlin had a great bit comparing the regimented militaristic football with the pastoral baseball.

[antiRepublicrat]

I wouldn’t know. I’ve never sat through a match.

Lucky you. The only good golf announcer ever was Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

[21twelve]

My son plays lacrosse and soccer. Likes soccer - loves lacrosse. Our indoor “major league” lacrosse team (box lacrosse) just won the championship. The high scores, huge hits and VERY fast pace makes field LAX look very tame and slow.

I’d even go so far as to say I enjoy box LAX more than hockey.

The one thing with LAX is the cost of gear. That is a great thing about soccer - it is pretty cheap. And if you don’t have the greatest skills there are places on the field for you until you get better.

[Vaquero]

George Carlin had a great bit comparing the regimented militaristic football with the pastoral baseball.

“I going HOME”

yes I remember it well.

[Vaquero]

I agree totally with just one exception.....and motors!

agreed.

only I am an old school NASCAR guy.....real cars...welded doors wings and/or 426 hemis. Think 1967 Plymouth Satellite....Richard Petty...b@lls to the wall...no governor on the carb.

also Dodge Ramcharger Drag Race team.

[Hegewisch Dupa]

here's a way cool World Cup calendar a guy at work turned me on to. It's really sweet how it provides a lot of information at a minimum of hassle and complication. Very eloquent in design. HERE

[dfwgator]

Or his what is a sport and what isn’t a sport:

“Soccer. Soccer is not a sport because you can’t use your arms. Anything where you can’t use your arms can’t be a sport. Tap dancing isn’t a sport. I rest my case.”

[antiRepublicrat]

Or his what is a sport and what isn’t a sport:

Gotta love Carlin. OTOH, arms are used quite a bit in soccer not even counting the goalie and throw-ins. You just can't use your arms on the ball.

[Chode]

aside from that, if the made the field just a little bit wider than the best kickers can kick, then scale the rest of the dimensions down accordingly and get rid of any over and back(if it applies) it might help tooo...

[dfwgator]

OTOH, arms are used quite a bit in soccer