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'Never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey'
OrangeNews.co.uk ^ | 5 July 2010 | staff reporter

Posted on 07/07/2010 11:19:57 AM PDT by Daffynition

A Chinese man who saved a one-armed, one-legged monkey says the primate has paid him back - by killing all of his chickens.

Li Chun, from Menghai village, Yunnan province, says the monkey has become a member of his family since he nursed it back to health.

It has become to devoted to the family and performs many chores around the home - but it also copies everything Li does.

When it saw him crack some eggs to make a meal it went into the hen coop and smashed all of the eggs it could find.

And when Li slaughtered a chicken, the monkey copied him and has since killed about 80 chickens, reports the Chuncheng Evening Post.

"From then on, whenever it's not occupied, it jumps into the chicken pen, and kills the chickens, no matter how big or small, and tries to pluck them," said Li.

"His record is nine chickens in one day. The lesson I have learned is to never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey."

Li found the seriously injured monkey in a forest more than a year ago when it jumped into a basket on his back.

He found the monkey's right arm and left leg were rotten and took it home where he cut off the decayed limbs and gave it anti-inflammatory medication.

He nursed the monkey back to health and it made an astonishing recovery, putting on weight and soon started to help around the home.

It helps look after Li's dog's puppies and even wiped away Li's tears when he was grieving the death of his father.

Li said: "It sat besides me quietly and extended his only arm to wipe the tears on my face. He would softly pat my face and head, and look at me with great sympathy."


TOPICS: Education; Pets/Animals; Science; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: elmono; elmonoloco; elmonomalo; firstmonkey; flingingpooping; freeperlore; guilty; monkey; monkeybusiness; monkeyping; monkeyseemonkeydo; mono; napl; obama
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Good advice ...I guess.


1 posted on 07/07/2010 11:19:59 AM PDT by Daffynition
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To: Daffynition
Certainly settles that burning question.

WTF?

/johnny

2 posted on 07/07/2010 11:22:03 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: JRandomFreeper

“Do you have a lah-zenz for your meenkey?”


3 posted on 07/07/2010 11:23:31 AM PDT by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: Daffynition

Now I know why the monkey crossed the street...to throttle chickens!!!


4 posted on 07/07/2010 11:25:48 AM PDT by RexBeach ("Duty is ours; consequences are God's." Thomas "Stonewall" jackson)
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To: Daffynition

Thank you.
My old platoon sergeant used to say,
“You start slaughtering a few chickens, and the monkeys get the idea!”

Now I know from whence it came.


5 posted on 07/07/2010 11:25:57 AM PDT by SJSAMPLE
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To: Daffynition

..."and if your wife stops requiring your companionship you'll know killing the chickens was getting rid of the witnesses"

6 posted on 07/07/2010 11:26:34 AM PDT by Doogle (IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN....PLEASE donate, because it's the RIGHT thing to do)
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To: Daffynition
"His record is nine chickens in one day. The lesson I have learned is to never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey."

I'm not sure when I'll ever use this piece of wisdom - but ya never know...

7 posted on 07/07/2010 11:28:25 AM PDT by GOPJ (There is nothing unexpected about the failure of socialism/communism.freeper pieceofthepuzzle)
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To: Daffynition
"Monkeys is the craziest people!"

8 posted on 07/07/2010 11:28:52 AM PDT by evets (beer)
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To: Daffynition

I hope him and his wife don’t have . . relations in front of the monkey because I don’t want to think about that.


9 posted on 07/07/2010 11:29:19 AM PDT by BipolarBob (Even the earth is bipolar.)
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To: Daffynition

I’ll tuck this advice in the back of my mind along with...

People who wear fig leaves should not stand near hungry goats.


10 posted on 07/07/2010 11:31:06 AM PDT by nhoward14 (I'm starting The 595 Club... A discount from 700)
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To: Daffynition

What a bad monkey!

I think he needs to spank his monkey for choking his chickens.


11 posted on 07/07/2010 11:31:42 AM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: JRandomFreeper
With 80 chickens dead, the guy could start a franchise of Chickity China the Chinese Chicken restaurants.
12 posted on 07/07/2010 11:31:53 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: JoeProBono; Slings and Arrows

Ancient Chinese Proverb PING!


13 posted on 07/07/2010 11:32:46 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: RexBeach
...or the tourists ...


14 posted on 07/07/2010 11:34:39 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: Daffynition
A Chinese man who saved a one-armed, one-legged monkey says the primate has paid him back - by killing all of his chickens.

Well it was a one-armed, one-legged, red-butted chicken plucker,
a one-armed, one-legged, red-butted chicken plucker,
a one-armed, one-legged, red-butted chicken plucker...

15 posted on 07/07/2010 11:35:07 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: Revolting cat!
It has become to devoted to the family and performs many chores around the home - but it also copies everything Li does. When it saw him crack some eggs to make a meal it went into the hen coop and smashed all of the eggs it could find.

Aww, he thinks he's people.

16 posted on 07/07/2010 11:36:42 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: Daffynition
He found the monkey's right arm and left leg were rotten and took it home where he cut off the decayed limbs

I guess the monkey knew not to copy THAT.

17 posted on 07/07/2010 11:37:46 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: RexBeach

Do you spank the monkey when it chokes your chicken?


18 posted on 07/07/2010 11:38:33 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: SJSAMPLE
I'd never heard the expression before. Your Sarge was a wise one.


19 posted on 07/07/2010 11:40:27 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: Daffynition

I have a friend who volunteers at the zoo. We call her monkey woman, I am going to check out this story with her.


20 posted on 07/07/2010 11:40:43 AM PDT by Ditter
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To: BipolarBob
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
21 posted on 07/07/2010 11:41:58 AM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Doogle

22 posted on 07/07/2010 11:42:21 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: Eaker; Allegra; Xenalyte; TheMom
The lesson I have learned is to never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey

Did you ever want to write a story and that first sentence just stumped you?

23 posted on 07/07/2010 11:44:00 AM PDT by humblegunner (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Daffynition
"His record is nine chickens in one day. The lesson I have learned is to never slaughter a chicken in front of a monkey."

Nor choke one, for that matter.

24 posted on 07/07/2010 11:44:40 AM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: Daffynition

Great wisdom.


25 posted on 07/07/2010 11:44:58 AM PDT by FourPeas (God Save America)
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To: The Comedian

Talk about T-shirt material.


26 posted on 07/07/2010 11:44:58 AM PDT by Lurker (The avalanche has begun. The pebbles no longer have a vote.)
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To: GOPJ

27 posted on 07/07/2010 11:45:17 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: cripplecreek

LOL!


28 posted on 07/07/2010 11:45:30 AM PDT by DCBryan1 (FORGET the lawyers...first kill the "journalists".)
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To: Constitution Day

If there is a prize for the most perfect response ever, you win it! My whole household is laughing.


29 posted on 07/07/2010 11:45:46 AM PDT by jim35 (Tea Party former Republican)
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To: Daffynition

We ain't fakin', there's whole lotta shakin' goin' on.
Yeah come on over baby, we got chicken in the barn....

30 posted on 07/07/2010 11:45:58 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (I wish our president loved the US military as much as he loves Paul McCartney.)
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To: evets

That video is freakin’ hilarious!


31 posted on 07/07/2010 11:46:14 AM PDT by Allegra (My seventh chakra is oppressed.)
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To: a fool in paradise

LOL :)


32 posted on 07/07/2010 11:47:43 AM PDT by beaversmom
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To: jim35

Thank you!

The pitch was just hanging there...how could I not knock it out of the park? LOL


33 posted on 07/07/2010 11:47:57 AM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: evets

34 posted on 07/07/2010 11:48:22 AM PDT by Daffynition (There is no other cheese.)
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To: Daffynition

Don’t let the monkey watch you having sex with your wife either.


35 posted on 07/07/2010 11:48:44 AM PDT by listenhillary (You might be a modern LIBERAL if you read 1984 & said "YEAH! That's the world that I want!")
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To: humblegunner
Did you ever want to write a story and that first sentence just stumped you?

It certainly beats "It was a dark and stormy night," doesn't it?

36 posted on 07/07/2010 11:50:02 AM PDT by Allegra (My seventh chakra is oppressed.)
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To: Constitution Day

My co-workers taped this to my office door with the caption "Slim in 5 years". I'm ahead of schedule.

37 posted on 07/07/2010 11:51:47 AM PDT by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: Daffynition

...see the big lug in the back?...he ain’t checking bananas


38 posted on 07/07/2010 11:52:50 AM PDT by Doogle (IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN....PLEASE donate, because it's the RIGHT thing to do)
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To: Daffynition

Well, there go my evening plans.


39 posted on 07/07/2010 11:54:28 AM PDT by tnlibertarian
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To: Daffynition

Would you like to touch my monkey?

40 posted on 07/07/2010 11:56:19 AM PDT by BlueLancer (I'm getting a fine tootsy-frootsying right here...)
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To: BipolarBob

LOL!!!!!


41 posted on 07/07/2010 12:04:52 PM PDT by brwnsuga (Black and Free!)
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To: a fool in paradise; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
No Chicken Choking

42 posted on 07/07/2010 12:07:12 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Lookin’ sharp, Slim.

I think you need a bit of a trim, but who am I to argue, when you’re packing heat like that?


43 posted on 07/07/2010 12:07:35 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: JRandomFreeper

My wife explained this to me years ago - ‘slaughter the chicken to scare the monkey’ was an old proverb used to describe government crackdowns - Tienanmen Square comes to mind.


44 posted on 07/07/2010 12:08:24 PM PDT by skeeter
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To: Constitution Day
LOL!

Thanks
45 posted on 07/07/2010 12:14:29 PM PDT by JSteff ((It was ALL about SCOTUS. Most forget about that and HAVE DOOMED us for a generation or more.))
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To: Slings and Arrows
When I was in Viet Nam, back in the Earlie's, 1965-1966, the Company Commander, during a walk through, remarked on how many of us, came back from an ambush all nighter, had crank in hand as we slept. It seem that some things do not change.
46 posted on 07/07/2010 12:19:21 PM PDT by Little Bill (Harry Browne is a poofter)
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To: Daffynition

Hey, didja know there is a monkey in that picture?


47 posted on 07/07/2010 12:26:05 PM PDT by ctdonath2 (+)
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To: Daffynition

That’s the most flattering picture I’ve seen of Obama, Soros’s monkey.


48 posted on 07/07/2010 12:27:26 PM PDT by thethirddegree
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To: Daffynition

“Is that a bannana in your fur, or are you just glad to see me?”


49 posted on 07/07/2010 12:32:55 PM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The naked casuistry of the high priests of Warmism would make a Jesuit blush.)
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To: Lurker; Daffynition
Don't make love to your wife in front of one either.


Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

50 posted on 07/07/2010 12:37:10 PM PDT by The Comedian (Evil can only succeed if good men don't point at it and laugh.)
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