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CLINTON THROWS BACHELOR PARTY FOR MEZVINKSY
Weekly World News ^ | July 30th, 2010 | July 30th, 2010

Posted on 07/31/2010 2:04:26 AM PDT by tlb

Rhinebeck, NY - Bill Clinton threw a wild bachelor party last night for his future son-in-law, Marc Mezvinsky. Chelsea Clinton wasn’t happy.

Bill Clinton insisted on throwing a bachelor party for his future son-in-law, over the strong objections of his beautiful daughter, Chelsea. But when Bill wants something, Bill gets it. And what he wanted was… girls, girls, girls!

The former President brought in seventy-five strippers, pole dancers, and contortionists to the “whipped-cream” themed party held for Marc Mezvinsky at the Veranda House in Rhinebeck. Marc was reluctant, but Bill told him, “You’re a Clinton now son, so you have to embrace the Clinton traditions.”

Mezvinsky informed Bill that Chelsea was taking his last name, “She’s dropping the Clinton entirely, sir.” A naked Bill Clinton stood up, dropped the stripper off his lap and punched Mezvinsky in the face, “The hell she is! She’s never taking your name, unless you run for President or she runs for President, then she’ll take your name, but that’s just because the moron voters of America like it that way. She’ll always be a Clinton. Now go get me some more grain alcohol”

Clinton did a fuzzy navel jell-o shot off a half-naked bartender, but she scolded him. “My navel isn’t that low, Mr. President.”

Al Gore showed up at the Bachelor Party with a gaggle of massage therapists. During the party Gore had several happy ending massages. He also had happy ending pole-dances, a happy ending game of pool and a happy ending coat-check. As a gift to the groom, Gore wanted to personally give Mezvinsky a happy ending, but Mezvinsky was too busy trying to keep Gina Gershon from pulling his pants down. Gershon was at the party as a “favor” to Bill.

Surprisingly, Hillary Clinton decided to attend. “Why should Bill and Marc have all the fun?” Hillary, dressed as a stripper, was rolled out in a cage. She did a burlesque striptease for her future son-in-law, who tried to look away, but James Carville held his head in place. “Look at your mother-in-law. You try and tell me that ain’t the next President of the United States!”

In an incoherent and rambling speech, Bill Clinton said that he was giving Marc a nickname. “Everyone calls me Bubba, so I think it’s only fitting that Marc have a similar name. From now on you’ll be known as Boo-Boo. We’ll be Bubba and Boo-Boo. Now go get me some weed!”

The lowlight of the night was when George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush showed up and did The Full Monty for the crowd. But Hillary couldn’t take her eyes off W. “I think I’m in love. Either that or I’m in hell.” After Bill passed out cigars to all the guys, the party quickly got out of hand and… well, WWN can’t reveal everything that happened but a lot of girls are going to be saving their blue dresses.


TOPICS: Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: clinton; disgusting; loweringfrstandards; notfunny; parody; party; weeklyworldnews
I defy you to find this story in the New York Times.
1 posted on 07/31/2010 2:04:28 AM PDT by tlb
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To: tlb

Click on the link for the awful pictures.


2 posted on 07/31/2010 2:06:59 AM PDT by iowamark
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To: tlb

Is this supposed to be humorous?


3 posted on 07/31/2010 2:08:48 AM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: tlb

“I defy you to find this story in the New York Times.”

Well, it is a funny SPOOF.
Some of it, however, would be believable, considering it is about Clinton.


4 posted on 07/31/2010 2:20:36 AM PDT by AlexW
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To: tlb

It is a joke.


5 posted on 07/31/2010 2:21:33 AM PDT by cajungirl
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To: tlb
He has another daughter named Chelsea who's beautiful? Who knew?
6 posted on 07/31/2010 2:33:16 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try. ~Master Yoda)
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To: tlb

This story is as fake as Slick Willy’s tears at Ron Brown’s funeral.


7 posted on 07/31/2010 2:40:23 AM PDT by jonrick46 (We're being water boarded with the sewage of Fabian Socialism.)
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To: tlb

Someone called me on the phone to tell me this. I will hope that for that person’s sake, that person had only read the headline.
Geez!


8 posted on 07/31/2010 3:11:47 AM PDT by MestaMachine (De inimico non loquaris sed cogites- Don't wish ill for your enemy; plan it)
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To: cajungirl

>>> It is a joke.

How dare you impugn Weekly World News’ reputation for serious investigative reporting.


9 posted on 07/31/2010 3:17:25 AM PDT by tlb
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To: skr

I hope the son in law wasn’t asked to wear a blue dress, jeez son grow a pair and tell Bill to suck an egg..Whats next you are a clinton now here is an intern?


10 posted on 07/31/2010 3:24:22 AM PDT by aeonspromise
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To: jonrick46

11 posted on 07/31/2010 3:34:13 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Amber Lamps !"~~)
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To: tlb

funny


12 posted on 07/31/2010 3:39:18 AM PDT by CGASMIA68
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To: cajungirl

Maybe a joke, but the mental images it made weren’t funny.


13 posted on 07/31/2010 3:56:10 AM PDT by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink)
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To: tlb

At least he showed some Presidential restraint.


14 posted on 07/31/2010 4:03:54 AM PDT by DouglasKC
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To: tlb

The only thing missing is a few drunken, party-crashing Kennedys.


15 posted on 07/31/2010 4:29:12 AM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: tlb
"over the strong objections of his beautiful daughter, Chelsea."

Right there, I knew it was a spoof.

16 posted on 07/31/2010 5:04:01 AM PDT by spectre (Spectre's wife)
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To: skr
Is this supposed to be humorous?

Yes, obviously:

. . . his beautiful daughter, Chelsea.
(quote from the article)

17 posted on 07/31/2010 5:41:49 AM PDT by Jess Kitting
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To: tlb
I defy you to find this story in the New York Times.

I defy you to find the "beautiful Chelsea", referenced in the story.

It ain't her fault, I know, but that girl is butt ugly and all the damned Max Factor in the world can't fix it.

Hillary and Hubb were not on the 100 Most Beautiful People list...and we see the result.

And I resent the hell out of the liberal media trying to convince me that I'm not seeing what I damn well know I'm seeing.

And I also know well that beauty is skin deep, but knowing who her parents are (and I ain't putting Hubb in that category), I suspect her ugly goes to the bone.

18 posted on 07/31/2010 5:49:58 AM PDT by OldSmaj (I am an avowed enemy of islam and Obama is a damned fool and traitor. Questions?)
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To: tlb

I love it!


19 posted on 07/31/2010 6:17:58 AM PDT by goseminoles
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To: tlb

“but Mezvinsky was too busy trying to keep Gina Gershon from pulling his pants down”

I always thought Gina Gershon was a man. Now I see that I was right.


20 posted on 07/31/2010 8:14:35 AM PDT by nhoward14 (I'm starting The 595 Club... A discount from 700)
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To: R. Scott
Maybe a joke, but the mental images it made weren’t funny.


21 posted on 07/31/2010 8:26:00 AM PDT by GreenLanternCorps ("Barack Obama" is Swahili for "Jimmy Carter".)
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To: Jess Kitting

Rhetorical question, obviously. The last paragraph is particularly unfunny.


22 posted on 07/31/2010 10:42:04 AM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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