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A toast for my Daughter's Wedding
9/8/10 | Self

Posted on 09/08/2010 1:07:24 PM PDT by Bean Counter

Well my Freeper friends, we are finally down to where the rubber meets the road, and I think it's time to have a bit of cheer among all of the gloom. I have not been posting much here at Free Republic of late, and have been on a bit of hiatus for about four months, or at least since my Daughter decided to marry her Soldier this coming Saturday.

We are hosting the wedding here in our home at Noon, reception to follow for about 80 invited guests. It looks like it may be showery, so we have canopies ordered for the yard, and our bar on the patio where the caterer will be serving. Everything is coming together very nicely, our rehearsal is Thursday, rentals are delivered on Friday, (so is the portable can...) and the caterer will be here on Saturday by 10 AM for final setup.

They say that there are five great stresses that married couples can confront in life: Death of a spouse, Death of a child, Divorce, your Daughter's wedding in your living room, and the Reception that follows.

So far we have survived two of five with three days to go, and we haven't buried hatchets in each others' heads, and our next stop will NOT be a divorce attorney....we think we've done quite well on this considering some of the horror stories people share, along with some of the damnedest behavior and fashion statements made at the weddings we have all attended.

We were at a friend's wedding last Sunday and I have never seen so much "Va Voom!" on display at one time. One gal from the Bride's family had an arse that rivaled anything a Kardashian ever produced, and it was stuffed into a tight red dress that Snookie would have been embarrassed to be seen wearing in public.

We are counting our blessings!


TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans; Society; The Poetry Branch
KEYWORDS: toasts; wedding
As the Father of the Bride, one of the few things in my direct purview, (excluding the bills, of course...) is that I get to make the first Toast(s). I have a few things in mind, but I thought I would toss out a solicitation for creative Toast suggestions, and see who wants to share in our fun.

While we're at it, let's hear some of your favorite horror stories so I can convince my wife that things really could be much, much worse....

We do have guests who are British Subjects, so an opening Toast "The Queen, God Save Her" is in order.

Next I would like suggestions for a good Toast to the Bride and Groom.

Last, I will be toasting the Mother of the Bride, and I do not need help with that....

Thanks in advance for all suggestions, please keep it clean, (there is a difference between Ribald and Obscene...) funny and/or wise.

Cheers!!

BC

1 posted on 09/08/2010 1:07:28 PM PDT by Bean Counter
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To: Bean Counter

Cheers!


2 posted on 09/08/2010 1:10:23 PM PDT by caver (Obama: Home of the Whopper)
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To: Bean Counter

I’ll take the gal in the red dress, if the rest of her is any good;)


3 posted on 09/08/2010 1:10:45 PM PDT by Frank_2001
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To: Bean Counter

My brother in law, at the wedding of his daughter, expressed relief that finally someone else was assuming her debts.


4 posted on 09/08/2010 1:11:51 PM PDT by Remole
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To: Bean Counter

I’ve no suggestions, but wish you good luck!


5 posted on 09/08/2010 1:11:51 PM PDT by humblegunner (Pablo is very wily)
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To: Bean Counter

Congratulations, and enjoy the wedding festivities. My son married last summer, and it was just an amazing weekend,right up there in the best memories of my lifetime (of course, the bride’s family had done most of the work).


6 posted on 09/08/2010 1:12:12 PM PDT by NEMDF
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To: Bean Counter

An acquaintance’s daughter got married a few years back. When the minister asked, “Who gives this Bride?”, he replied, “Her mother, my checkbook, and I.”

Good luck, and congratulations.

SnakeDoc


7 posted on 09/08/2010 1:17:39 PM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." -- John Wayne)
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To: caver

“May you lie, and cheat, and steal for the rest of your lives”.

Pause for effect......

“May you lie in each other’s arms, every night”.

“May you cheat time and live happy, prosperous, and blessed long lives”.

“May you steal every minute you can from the outside world, and spend them only on each other”.


8 posted on 09/08/2010 1:18:19 PM PDT by conservativeharleyguy (Democrats: Over 60 million fooled daily!)
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To: Bean Counter

I hope you get some good toast suggestions. I have to do the toast at my brother’s wedding in October and I don’t have a clue what I’m going to say. I hardly know his intended, I have only met her once!


9 posted on 09/08/2010 1:18:21 PM PDT by Juana la Loca
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To: Bean Counter

Just remember to combine the humor with something from the heart. Perhaps an important moment in you and your daughters life. Tie it together and you’ll be fine.


10 posted on 09/08/2010 1:23:40 PM PDT by goseminoles
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To: conservativeharleyguy

Aw, that is wonderful.


11 posted on 09/08/2010 1:23:59 PM PDT by PROTESTBYPROXY (Conservatives must man up!!)
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To: Bean Counter

I remember you! God’s rich blessings on you and your family as it continues to grow!! I have only one suggestion—ENJOY the day!


12 posted on 09/08/2010 1:24:37 PM PDT by Boxsford ("Arrogance exalts human superiority while true strength exalts the superiority of God. ")
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To: Bean Counter

I’ve heard a lot of rambling, long, obnoxious toasts - mostly from young guys half shot in the ass. I suspect a welcome to the family would be appropriate - but keep it short! The other 79 people will be ever so thankful.....


13 posted on 09/08/2010 1:25:48 PM PDT by Cathy
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To: Bean Counter

WHATEVER you say, make it from the heart, and do NOT try to wing it.


14 posted on 09/08/2010 1:32:07 PM PDT by theDentist (fybo; qwerty ergo typo : i type, therefore i misspelll)
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To: Bean Counter

Found this site - good luck and God Bless.

http://fatherhood.about.com/od/fathersandweddings/a/wed_toasts.htm


15 posted on 09/08/2010 1:33:17 PM PDT by sodpoodle (Despair - Man's surrender. Laughter -God's redemption)
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To: Bean Counter

Just be sure to tell the Bride and Groom to be respectful of each other always and forever and for them to be kind to each other always and forever and mostly to be CONSIDERATE of each other always and forever. If they do that...they will not only have a long and happy marriage but...they will always be reminded of what love truly means.

God bless them and our wish for them is to live happily together as man and wife always and forever.

:) As for the Father of the Bride...you don’t need any suggestions...just sit back and be proud.


16 posted on 09/08/2010 1:41:49 PM PDT by cubreporter ( Trust Rush and you won't go wrong.)
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To: Bean Counter
Next I would like suggestions for a good Toast to the Bride and Groom.

I like short and sweet. Use this one after a short speech with the usual blessings:

"May you grow in beauty and strength as the vines of the field."
"May your blessings be as bountiful as the fruit of that vineyard."
"And may your love be as sweet and rich as the wine made from the grapes of your harvest."

17 posted on 09/08/2010 1:45:58 PM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (A fearless person cannot be controlled.)
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To: PROTESTBYPROXY

Yeah, chicks dig it.


18 posted on 09/08/2010 1:56:18 PM PDT by conservativeharleyguy (Democrats: Over 60 million fooled daily!)
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To: Bean Counter

“I should like to take this opportunity to say a word or two about Martin. As far as I am concerned, my daughter could not have chosen a more delightful, charming, witty, responsible, wealthy — let’s not deny it, well-placed, good looking, and fertile young man, than Martin, as her husband.”

“And I therefore ask the question, why the hell did she marry Gerald instead!?”

http://www.weddingspeechdigest.com/rowan-atkinson-father-of-the-bride-speech.html


19 posted on 09/08/2010 2:06:49 PM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: Bean Counter

I dont know about a toast, but as we stood at the altar at my oldest daughter’s wedding I told my future son in law, “No givebacks”.


20 posted on 09/08/2010 2:10:25 PM PDT by Hacklehead (Liberalism is the art of taking what works, breaking it, and then blaming conservatives.)
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To: Bean Counter
In the Bible once is says, “Honor thy father and mother.” Twice is says, “A man shall LEAVE his father and mother and cleave unto his wife.” There is a reason for that.
21 posted on 09/08/2010 3:09:36 PM PDT by Excellence ("A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.")
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To: Bean Counter
First of all, congrats....

Somewheres in your remarks, try to work in the old Spanish toast...loosely translated as Health, wealth, and time to enjoy them..

22 posted on 09/08/2010 3:48:39 PM PDT by ken5050 (The meek shall inherit the earth, but no way Kendrick Meek beats Marco Rubio)
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To: Bean Counter

My Dad has five daughters. I’m sure not a one of us remembers him giving a toast at our weddings. What we will always remember is how he is there when good things happen, when bad things happen, when the babies come, when we grill steaks in the summer, when we burn leaves in the fall, (when I need help with the livestock)...and how he loves our husbands, too.

At our family weddings, Dad passes out kazoos to the extended family and they all stand up and serenade the happy couple with a touching rendition of “Feelings.” I guess you have to be there. I think he’d be a little too “cut up” to make a toast, but he’s right at home conducting the kazoo serenade.

I will say that none of us had the traditional “Father and Daughter” dance at our weddings. I do remember Dad out on the dance floor with all his girls at my wedding when some wag got the DJ to play “Da Butt.” There’s your horror story.

God bless fathers. Whatever you say, your daughter will always hold you in her heart.

Now ENJOY THE PARTY!


23 posted on 09/08/2010 4:41:53 PM PDT by mrs. a (It's a short life but a merry one...)
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To: Bean Counter
To our wives & lovers...may they never meet.(Oh wait, that's for the bachelor party)
____________________________________________
To the groom: In any argument, your bride will always have the last word. Anything you say after that is the start of a new argument.

To The Bride: “There is no answer to the question: “Do these slacks make my butt look big?”

To Both: At the end of the day, when ups and downs of life has happened, 5 little words will always make the day blessed..."Yes Dear...I Love You” _______________________________________________________

24 posted on 09/08/2010 4:49:04 PM PDT by stylin19a (Never buy a putter until you first get a chance to throw it)
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To: Bean Counter

Congrats.


25 posted on 09/09/2010 1:14:36 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Amber Lamps !"~~)
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To: All

WELL!

It is Monday morning, the deed is done and the new couple is safely on their Honeymoon. This is the first chance I have had to look at my laptop since last week when I stashed it for the wedding.

We kicked things off Thursday night with the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. We kept it simple...smoked chicken salad on large croissants, potato salad and peach cobbler with ice cream. We had 15 people for dinner, and we served it picnic style on folding tables since the dining room table was now in the living room being prepped for the cake. Everyone came casual and hungry, and everyone was relaxed and comfortable the whole time. I think the other ‘rents were reluctant to leave and really enjoyed themselves.

Friday morning the rental equipment was delivered. We monitored the weather forecast for the week prior, and it was so outrageously wrong every time that my wife cut them out and saved them for the Bride’s wedding album. Wednesday, they were still predicting showers, so we made the command decision to rent two canopies, one over the bar on the deck and the other in the yard over the tables. I’ll post a couple of pics here later so you can see how it turned out. As it was, the weather was just spectacular. Not a cloud in the sky and in fact it was so sunny that if we did not have the canopy, it would have been blindingly bright and very warm over all of the tables. The canopy proved to be a great call.

Saturday morning the caterer arrived and started setting up, and my wife’s best friend arrived with the cake and flowers. My wife and the Bride retired to the back of the house and there was a rolling gaggle of my wife’s friends in and out back there “helping” the Bride get ready. I think my wife had a bottle of wine back there too, and they all apparently had a VERY good time.

Meanwhile the groom was out front with me, he in his Class A’s and me in my 3 piece suit. We greeted everyone as they arrived, and as he got a bit jittery as we got close to noon, I made sure he had a little bracer...I had a bottle of Black Bush Irish whiskey ready and waiting, and he was just amazed that it was as smooth as a baby’s arse...

We had 71 guests. We cleared our furniture out into the garage, threw open two sets of double doors onto our patio, and sited 80 chairs from the family room, out onto the deck, the dining room and part of the kitchen. The family room has a vaulted ceiling and with the doors open, projects sound into the rest of the front of the house very well. We were able to conduct the wedding in speaking voices with no sound system needed. Everyone had a great seat, and the wedding itself was flawless, very intimate and witnessed by most of our extended family.

The caterer we picked did an incredible job. I will post a picture of the setup later, but they delivered what they promised in Spades, and were integral with keeping things flowing. They set up our inside bar with champagne saucers, and had the bubbly poured right on time.

So we finally arrived at my part of the show. Everyone filled their hand and I asked for their attention. I said that as Father of the Bride, one of the only things I have complete responsibility for was initiating the toast, and that I had two toasts to make. I did not make notes to read, but I did read this thread and decided what I wanted to say well ahead of time. My toast to the Bride and Groom went something like:

To Victoria and Phil, your whole family is here with all of their love and we all wish you nothing but happiness. May all of your children be born naked and with no shoes. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mr. and Mrs....

Then I toasted my wife...

My other toast is for the person without whom none of us would be gathered here today. That person is the Mother of the Bride, my Best Friend, my true Love, my wife. We could not have done this today without all of your loving hard work, so Ladies and Gentlemen, to the Mother of the Bride...

I kept it short, loving, humorous and light. My wife thought it was perfect, and so did the Bride. She rocked me back with a big hug and a smooch, and being the sentimental old fart that I am, brought tears to my eyes. She was stunning in her wedding dress and in one moment all of the stress from the last six months or so melted away.

My wife and I delivered the B&G to the train station, and sent them off on their honeymoon. She’s checked in with her Mom a couple of times, and pretty much babbled about how much fun they were having and how happy the two of them are. Her Mother and I have been basking in the warm glow all weekend, and I’m happy to report that the glow is still there this morning.

All of the tables and chairs, canopies, tablecloths and the portable can we rented at the last minute will all be picked up today, and we can continue to put the house back together again. We spent a leisurely Sunday snoozing in front of football, and when it warmed up yesterday we got everything ready to be picked up today. I plan on doing next to nothing this week and maybe next, other than mow the lawn if and when it needs it. I have a few bottles of champagne left, and I plan on passing a few of them to the neighbors to thank them for their indulgence while we had the biggest party our family has ever had in many, many years.

Sorry I did not get the chance to comment on this thread before now, but I have no shame that real life trumped the internet for a while. Our Daughter and new Son in Law had a fantastic wedding, and we were able to really enjoy ourselves and mingle with all of our guests and family.

Thank You for all of your kind remarks and sound advice; you helped me focus and my wife was very pleased, and that’s exactly what I wanted.

Cheers!


26 posted on 09/13/2010 6:12:03 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
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To: Bean Counter

Bean I found this website also my friend so I hope it helps..

http://weddingspeecheshq.com/


27 posted on 01/06/2012 4:50:40 PM PST by The Black SEO Guy
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