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Thief stuffs turkey down pants
nypost.com ^ | Nov. 5, 2010 | JAMIE SCHRAM and SERGEY KADINSKY

Posted on 11/05/2010 7:45:00 PM PDT by Free ThinkerNY

This birdbrained bandit took turkey stuffing to a whole new level.

A Brooklyn teen was caught on video shoving a 12-pound turkey breast into his baggy sweatpants -- and then waddling out of a Bed-Stuy grocery with an irate butcher hot on his trail, sources said yesterday.

"He's got a big turkey in his pants!" Fine Fare Grocery cashier Michelle Benjamin yelled to butcher Sergio Marte, who chased down alleged poultry poacher Deon Williams, 19, outside the Marcus Garvey Boulevard store.

"You have something in your pants!" Marte barked at Williams, who squealed back, "I'll give it to you -- don't touch me!"

"I don't want to touch you -- just give me the turkey!" Marte demanded.

Williams dumped it on the street, and when Marte bent over to pick it up, the teen clocked him in the jaw, the butcher said.

"He swung at me, and then he ran," the 42-year-old butcher said, showing off a still-swollen cheek.

The brazen heist was caught on surveillance video, and cops nabbed Williams on Wednesday.

As for the turkey, it went right back on the shelf.

Marte insisted the $84 worth of Boar's Head Oven Gold "was in good condition."

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: napl; pants; stuffs; thief; thingsinpants; turkey

1 posted on 11/05/2010 7:45:02 PM PDT by Free ThinkerNY
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Is that a turkey in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?


2 posted on 11/05/2010 7:48:00 PM PDT by Sapper26 (Political Refugee From the Obamanation)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

What was he Gobblin’?


3 posted on 11/05/2010 7:48:17 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously... You'll never live through it.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

The turkey may have been in good condition, but I wouldn’t eat it.


4 posted on 11/05/2010 7:50:28 PM PDT by dforest
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To: Vendome

bwahaha!


5 posted on 11/05/2010 7:53:20 PM PDT by ColdOne (Who Knew? MSNBC has ethics? Fired Keif!!!!!!)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Between this and the pants on the ground you seem to have a theme tonight !!! LOL!


6 posted on 11/05/2010 7:54:53 PM PDT by ColdOne (Who Knew? MSNBC has ethics? Fired Keif!!!!!!)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Every year we hear of someone that thinks they can sneak a turkey out in their pants ... Delusional, drunk, brain soaked with drugs, or just stupid? That is the question inquiring minds want to know


7 posted on 11/05/2010 7:55:27 PM PDT by doc1019 (Martyrdom is a great thing, until it is your turn.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
"He's got a big turkey in his pants!"

So it wasn't a hen, it was a...
8 posted on 11/05/2010 7:56:18 PM PDT by LostInBayport (When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

poultry pilfered in puffy pants...


9 posted on 11/05/2010 7:58:33 PM PDT by smokingfrog (Because you don't live near a bakery doesn't mean you have to go without cheesecake.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

ping!


10 posted on 11/05/2010 7:59:05 PM PDT by Clay Moore (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

“It’s turkey time. Gobble, gobble.”


11 posted on 11/05/2010 8:08:38 PM PDT by Lonely Bull
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To: Free ThinkerNY
As for the turkey, it went right back on the shelf.

Uh... wait a sec...

Shouldn't there at least be a discount on a turkey that's already been down somebody's pants? I mean... really...

12 posted on 11/05/2010 8:09:44 PM PDT by Ramius (Personally, I give us... one chance in three. More tea?)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Sergio said later that those were the smallest giblets he had ever seen on a tom.


13 posted on 11/05/2010 8:12:18 PM PDT by Doulos1 (Bitter Clinger Forever)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

He might have been able to just walk out, if he hadn’t flipped the guy the bird.


14 posted on 11/05/2010 8:17:04 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Kids should learn to handle a chicken before they move up to turkeys. ;^O

But seriously! $84 dollars for a turkey? There's a little highway robbery going on on the other side of the counter too.

15 posted on 11/05/2010 8:21:55 PM PDT by TigersEye (Who crashed the markets on 9/28/08 and why?)
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To: Free ThinkerNY
Sort of like this guy...


16 posted on 11/05/2010 8:28:18 PM PDT by HangnJudge
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Uh I wouldn’t want that turkey.Where’s the health department when you need ‘em -— gross!!!!


17 posted on 11/05/2010 8:38:21 PM PDT by sanjoaquinvalley (Longtime Lady Lurker)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Do you have “Turkey in your pants” pinglist? (grin)


18 posted on 11/05/2010 9:03:20 PM PDT by PERKY2004 (Proud wife of a military pilot ~ Please pray for him (he's deployed!))
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To: Free ThinkerNY

An $84 turkey??? Must have been for a White House dinner or something.


19 posted on 11/05/2010 9:03:53 PM PDT by bigbob
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To: TigersEye

Boars Head is “high end” deli turkey. It’s made up of from 4-7 turkey breasts pressed together. It’s sold by the slice in the deli. Usually ranges $8-$12 per pound. It’s not the whole turkey you stuff and bake in the oven. In my deli, we used Thumann’s brand. Considered better than Boars Head and about the same price.


20 posted on 11/05/2010 9:08:44 PM PDT by CTOCS (I live in my own little world. But, it's okay. They know me there....)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Oh, and look, it’s another young, urban victim of socio-economic disparity committing the crime. Shocking.


21 posted on 11/05/2010 9:08:45 PM PDT by NohSpinZone (First thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers)
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To: CTOCS

OK, thanks for the deli info. It was really just a joke.


22 posted on 11/05/2010 9:15:30 PM PDT by TigersEye (Who crashed the markets on 9/28/08 and why?)
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To: All; Free ThinkerNY
Checking in just for the snappy one-liners.
23 posted on 11/05/2010 9:35:45 PM PDT by ARepublicanForAllReasons (Borders, laws and language are what define us (USA) as a country. Let's guard them well.)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

“He’s got a big turkey in his pants!”

And if he still has it after four hours, he should go to the emergency room.


24 posted on 11/05/2010 10:00:11 PM PDT by july4thfreedomfoundation (2010 was the start of the house cleaning......on to 2012 for further victories!)
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To: PERKY2004; Clay Moore; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
Do you have “Turkey in your pants” pinglist?

Yes, but it's very low-volume.


25 posted on 11/05/2010 10:24:52 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

They’re prosecuting this poor, oppressed member of the currently-ruling class who is probably starving because of rich white people? Someone should call Eric Holder (if he isn’t out of the country on tour) and have him released immediately. The deli should give him the turkey breast (who the heck would buy the filthy thing anyway, after it was in his pants? — just eeeewwww) and apologize for bruising his hand on the butcher’s face.

Later he’ll get a job in the zer0 administration because he has had so much experience overcoming.


26 posted on 11/06/2010 7:40:57 AM PDT by TheOldLady (The only way to run our country is conservatively.)
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To: TheOldLady

I wish that was satire.


27 posted on 11/06/2010 8:19:42 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

They can sell it
at
a premium now that it’s been stuffed.


28 posted on 11/06/2010 8:35:50 AM PDT by paulycy (Demand Constitutionality. Save America From Bankruptcy.)
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To: paulycy
Smiley - Rimshot
29 posted on 11/06/2010 8:41:41 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Yeah.


30 posted on 11/06/2010 8:41:53 AM PDT by TheOldLady (The only way to run our country is conservatively.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Turkey is 7 bucks a pound in NYC?

I knew the price of living differed but that is ridiculous. I can get it from the deli $2.49.

If I want to roast it myself I can get it for $0.89.

31 posted on 11/06/2010 2:23:49 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (When all you have is bolt cutters & vodka everything looks like the lock on Wolf Blitzer's boathouse)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

New Yorkers are crazy - why else would they live in New York?


32 posted on 11/06/2010 7:40:23 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: PERKY2004; Slings and Arrows
Do you have “Turkey in your pants” pinglist? (grin)

There is a ThingsInPants keyword...

http://www.freerepublic.com/tag/thingsinpants/index

33 posted on 11/08/2010 7:55:20 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: Free ThinkerNY

Sandy Berger again?


34 posted on 11/08/2010 7:56:30 AM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: a fool in paradise; PERKY2004
There is a ThingsInPants keyword...

When did we start talking about Hillary?

35 posted on 11/08/2010 10:15:10 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

That’s ThingsInPantsuits


36 posted on 11/08/2010 10:22:29 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: Lancey Howard

Things in socks.


37 posted on 11/08/2010 10:22:48 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: a fool in paradise

*snicker*


38 posted on 11/08/2010 10:30:13 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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