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The marriage killer: One in five American divorces now involve Facebook
Daily Mail ^ | 12/02/2010 | David Gardner

Posted on 12/02/2010 7:25:10 AM PST by SeekAndFind

It used to be the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. Then there were the give-away texts that spelled the death knell for many marriages.

But now one in five divorces involve social networking site Facebook, according to a new survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

A staggering 80 per cent of divorce lawyers have also reported a spike in the number of cases that use social media for evidence of cheating.

Flirty messages and photographs found on Facebook are increasingly being cited as proof of unreasonable behaviour or irreconcilable differences.

Many cases revolve around social media users who get back in touch with old flames they hadn’t heard from in many years.

Facebook was by far the biggest offender, with 66 per cent of lawyers citing it as the primary source of evidence in a divorce case. MySpace followed with 15 per cent, Twitter at 5 per cent and other choices lumped together at 14 per cent.

The survey reflects the findings of UK law firm last year showing that 20 per cent of its divorce petitions blamed Facebook flings.

‘The most common reason seemed to be people having inappropriate sexual chats with people they were not supposed to,’ said Mark Keenan, managing director of Divorce-Online.

Friends Reunited faced similar claims when it was launched to help people reconnect with old classmates, but the 23 million plus people now using Facebook in Britain means it is having a much bigger effect on rising divorce rates.

‘Desperate Housewives’ star Eva Longoria recently split from her basketball player husband Tony Parker after alleging that he strayed with a woman he kept in touch with on Facebook.

An American minister also made the headlines recently when he called Facebook a ‘portal to infidelity’ and insisted that his congregation delete their accounts

(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Society
KEYWORDS: adultery; clintonlegacy; culturewar; divorce; facebook; marriage; moralabsolutes; smashmonogamy
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1 posted on 12/02/2010 7:25:14 AM PST by SeekAndFind
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To: SeekAndFind

Social Media is a bad actor. I knew it when Prodigy came out.


2 posted on 12/02/2010 7:26:33 AM PST by screaminsunshine (Americanism vs Communism)
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To: SeekAndFind

How is it the fault of FaceBook or any other website that people cheat?


3 posted on 12/02/2010 7:28:12 AM PST by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: SeekAndFind; wagglebee

So more than 20% of marriages end now because of cheating?


4 posted on 12/02/2010 7:28:36 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: screaminsunshine

FR is a bad influence too. I spend way too much time surfing here.


5 posted on 12/02/2010 7:28:45 AM PST by Paladin2
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To: SeekAndFind
I use Facebook to keep in contact with friends from my military days and my cousins.

You won't find what you don't go looking for.

6 posted on 12/02/2010 7:29:10 AM PST by Dead Corpse (III, Alarm and Muster)
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To: Paladin2; tx_eggman

so... what are you wearing?


7 posted on 12/02/2010 7:30:00 AM PST by SpinnerWebb (In 2012 you will awaken from your HOPEnosis and have no recollection of this... "Constitution")
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To: SeekAndFind
I have studiously avoided facebook. And myspace.

And myface. And spacebook.

8 posted on 12/02/2010 7:30:56 AM PST by Celtic Cross (I AM the Impeccable Hat. (AKA The Pope's Hat))
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To: SeekAndFind

Blaming Facebook is the same as blaming the gun for a murder.


9 posted on 12/02/2010 7:32:15 AM PST by dfwgator (Congratulations to Josh Hamilton - AL MVP)
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To: SeekAndFind

Damn you Al Gore!


10 posted on 12/02/2010 7:33:41 AM PST by hometoroost (From Hope and Change to Gropin' Some Strange)
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To: SeekAndFind; a fool in paradise; 185JHP; 230FMJ; AKA Elena; Albion Wilde; Aleighanne; ...
Moral Absolutes Ping!

Freepmail wagglebee to subscribe or unsubscribe from the moral absolutes ping list.

FreeRepublic moral absolutes keyword search
[ Add keyword moral absolutes to flag FR articles to this ping list ]


11 posted on 12/02/2010 7:34:37 AM PST by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: Celtic Cross

And youfacetwit.


12 posted on 12/02/2010 7:36:21 AM PST by VA_Gentleman ("Poor Al Gore. Global warming completely debunked via the very internet you invented." -Jon Stewart)
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To: wagglebee

Mr. trisham is on Facebook. Fortunately, we have a perfect marriage.


13 posted on 12/02/2010 7:37:21 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Paladin2
FR is a bad influence too. I spend way too much time surfing here.

"My name is mlizzy, and I am a FReepaholic."

PhotobucketI hear ya! I've been working on a 12-step program recently.
14 posted on 12/02/2010 7:37:37 AM PST by mlizzy (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee ...)
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To: pnh102
How is it the fault of FaceBook or any other website that people cheat?

It is known as the liberal 'view'.

See, it has to be 'somethings' fault, otherwise it would have to be 'somebodys' fault.

As in lack of moral principles, lack of committment, lack of faith.

15 posted on 12/02/2010 7:38:01 AM PST by UCANSEE2 (Lame and ill-informed post)
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To: SeekAndFind

Everyone of my ex girlfriends have friended me on Facebook. Neither me or my wife have a problem with it. We take our vows very seriously and have the utmost trust in each other. The rest falls nicely into place.


16 posted on 12/02/2010 7:38:46 AM PST by Peter from Rutland
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To: SpinnerWebb
so... what are you wearing?

Kilt full commando

17 posted on 12/02/2010 7:39:31 AM PST by clamper1797 (Pray for Obama ... Psalms 109:8)
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To: pnh102
Exactly. This is a crock and a created news story. We've recently had a rash of stories in our neck of the woods about underage girls using the internet to hook up with older men, some of whom travel from distant states.

Before the internet, these same class of dingbats would hook up at local pool halls or parking lots with jerks they met through personal ads or hanging out.

I let my kids set up Facebook accounts while they were still in high school with one condition: Dad had to be one of their friends. Even though they are grown up and in college and married, I'm still a Facebook friend. They could unfriend me at anytime because they are paying their own way now . . . but they don't and its very comforting for me, a parent, to see who they are hanging around with now.

So it cuts both ways.

18 posted on 12/02/2010 7:40:16 AM PST by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: SeekAndFind

Cheap affairs...at least at the bar you get drinks


19 posted on 12/02/2010 7:42:20 AM PST by fml
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To: SeekAndFind

Previous responsible parties include the text message, the cellular phone, the land-line telephone, the telegram, the mail carrier, the pen-and-paper, and the stone tablet.

Facebook doesn’t kill marriages ... people do.

SnakeDoc


20 posted on 12/02/2010 7:42:30 AM PST by SnakeDoctor ("They made it evident to every man [...] that human beings are many, but men are few." -- Herodotus)
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To: Paladin2

“FR is a bad influence too. I spend way too much time surfing here.”

Me too...but in spite of all of the time I spend here, no FReeper has ever hit on me. I guess that’s because we’re “Free Republic” not “Floozy Republic.”


21 posted on 12/02/2010 7:47:00 AM PST by Towed_Jumper ("Western science will fly you to the moon. Islamic religion will fly you into buildings.")
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To: Paladin2
FR is a bad influence too. I spend way too much time surfing here

So.....what are you wearing?

22 posted on 12/02/2010 7:48:04 AM PST by laotzu
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To: trisham
You should get Mr. trisham on Free Republic.

My wife is on Facebook, I don't get the appeal. The people I actually liked from high school and college I kept in touch with anyway.

23 posted on 12/02/2010 7:50:41 AM PST by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: SnakeDoctor

Yeah, the stuff you listed would be “evidence”, not “offender”. It’s a poor workman who blames his tools...

Colonel, USAFR


24 posted on 12/02/2010 7:52:54 AM PST by jagusafr ("We hold these truths to be self-evident...")
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To: SnakeDoctor

completely agree. Facebook is a tool for social interaction & networking. You go there with ideas on what you want. Some go there to troll for men & women & they are usually successful.

I participate (DONT do games, gifts, APS) with friends from the multitude of places I have lived & the corresponding clubs, churches, neighborhoods. I found my best pal from navy OCS, my 2nd grade neighborhood girlfriend.

I have also been hit on (yes this old gal hit on) by some . Never respond if they are “not “ on my friend’s list & drop them very quickly if they are on my friend’s list and I know they are married or otherwise involved. It is up to you to make choices of what you will do & whom with.

Facebook can facilitate this. So can your phone. Your email. Your other networking accounts.


25 posted on 12/02/2010 7:52:56 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell God how big your storm is... tell your storm how BIG your God is!)
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To: pnh102
How is it the fault of FaceBook or any other website that people cheat?

I don't think I'd describe it as "fault" but the fact is that the internet, Facebook in particular, does make it much easier to find that old HS or college sweetheart.

26 posted on 12/02/2010 7:53:27 AM PST by Bodleian_Girl (Play, ya pay.)
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To: SeekAndFind

Thats why I wont let my wife be a friend on FB.


27 posted on 12/02/2010 7:59:33 AM PST by ▀udda▀udd (7 days - 7 ways Guero >>> with a floating, shifting, ever changing persona.....)
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To: SeekAndFind

Facebook: the electronic lipstick on the collar


28 posted on 12/02/2010 8:02:02 AM PST by bigbob (.)
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To: SeekAndFind

It’s OK. The other 4/5 invove the cell telephone. You’ve got a better chance for cheating if you stay off your cell and do all your cheating via Facebook. Carefull of the US Mail too because the statistic is no longer kept.


29 posted on 12/02/2010 8:02:37 AM PST by bkepley
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To: Bodleian_Girl
I don't think I'd describe it as "fault" but the fact is that the internet, Facebook in particular, does make it much easier to find that old HS or college sweetheart.

"and do not subject us to the final test." Temptation is difficult and we need prayer to overcome it. Facebook is a good thing when used properly.

30 posted on 12/02/2010 8:03:11 AM PST by frogjerk (I believe in unicorns, fairies and pro-life Democrats.)
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To: bkepley

bttt


31 posted on 12/02/2010 8:03:15 AM PST by ConservativeMan55
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To: SeekAndFind

AOL chatrooms did their fair share of damage as well.
So many people used it as a fantasy world where the grass was greener and they would fall in “love” to complete strangers thousands of miles away.


32 posted on 12/02/2010 8:03:32 AM PST by winodog
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To: a fool in paradise
So more than 20% of marriages end now because of cheating?

That isn't at all what the article said. What it says it that one in five (20%, if you will) divorce cases cite Facebook as evidence of either infidelity or irreconcilable differences. This isn't evidence that people cheat more or divorce more, just that it's a whole lot easier to access someone's Facebook account than hire a private detective.

33 posted on 12/02/2010 8:03:41 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Socialists are to economics what circle squarers are to math; undaunted by reason or derision.)
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To: wagglebee

He’s not a Palin fan. He’d probably get nuked.

How does someone sign up while sharing an isp?


34 posted on 12/02/2010 8:05:38 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“The survey reflects the findings of UK law firm last year showing that 20 per cent of its divorce petitions blamed Facebook flings.”

That says 20 percent of UK divorces handled by one firm were from Facebook flings alone.


35 posted on 12/02/2010 8:08:12 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: laotzu; SpinnerWebb

36 posted on 12/02/2010 8:08:56 AM PST by Paladin2
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To: trisham; Mrs. Don-o; don-o
How does someone sign up while sharing an isp?

I don't think there's any problem as long as he has a different email address. Mr. & Mrs. Don-o are both members, as are other couples and I assume they are on the same ISP.

37 posted on 12/02/2010 8:13:51 AM PST by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: SpinnerWebb
so... what are you wearing?

hahaha!

38 posted on 12/02/2010 8:14:16 AM PST by latina4dubya ( self-proclaimed tequila snob)
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To: a fool in paradise
Which is exactly what I said. It does not say that 20% of all marriages end in divorce, only that of those that do end in divorce, one in five CITE Facebook in court filings. It does not indicate that divorces are on the rise, by 25% (which it would be if all these marriages remained intact otherwise) or any that had it not been for Facebook the couples would now be celebrating their silver anniversary. I doubt that many marriages now end in divorce because of Facebook.

I think it's a good idea if married couples have access to each others email and other computer accounts, just to build trust and maybe help your conscience.

39 posted on 12/02/2010 8:15:59 AM PST by Lonesome in Massachussets (Socialists are to economics what circle squarers are to math; undaunted by reason or derision.)
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To: SeekAndFind; All

So I’ve heard that spouses who suspect their other half is cheating on them can get Facebook records and info back to a year that may have been removed or deleted from the offending spouse’s fb page. I would suspect if that is true that it would take legal action to obtain said information. Does anyone know if this is possible?


40 posted on 12/02/2010 8:17:10 AM PST by OB1kNOb (China is the world's ant. America has become the world's grasshopper. Fear the coming winter.)
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To: pnh102
How is it the fault of FaceBook or any other website that people cheat?

It's not really "at fault," but it does offer propinquity (a wonderful word that means "nearness in place or time") that would not otherwise exist.

It's normal to wonder how things might have been if one had made the right moves toward a particular person way back when.... How often do people construct idyllic scenarios involving an old flame, that look especially inviting in comparison to the usual frictions and difficulties of our everyday lives?

In the old days, it was hard to look that person up.

Now, though, "I wonder" can be satisfied by a few clicks on the mouse. Facebook and other such sites feed the temptation, and it can obviously get out of control.

41 posted on 12/02/2010 8:18:16 AM PST by r9etb
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To: a fool in paradise

It’s not the fault, it’s the means.


42 posted on 12/02/2010 8:21:15 AM PST by T Minus Four (Duh. We were talking about in the old days or not-so-distant old days)
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To: frogjerk
Facebook is a good thing when used properly.

Of course.

43 posted on 12/02/2010 8:22:17 AM PST by Bodleian_Girl (Play, ya pay.)
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To: Paladin2
"FR is a bad influence too. I spend way too much time surfing here."

And if your wife decides that she wants a divorce so she can take the kids and get paid for it, it's pretty easy to allege that you were communicating with other women on FR.

The charge won't really matter, because she can drop the unproven claims, settle the divorce for irreconcilable differences and take the gold mine while giving you the shaft.

44 posted on 12/02/2010 8:22:47 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: Celtic Cross
Did you hear they're going to combine Facebook, Twitter and Youtube into one gigantic time-sucking entity?

They're going to call it "YouTwitFace!"

ba dum TISH

45 posted on 12/02/2010 8:23:22 AM PST by T Minus Four (Duh. We were talking about in the old days or not-so-distant old days)
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To: SeekAndFind

So help me if my wife ever joins Farmville I will divorce her. Easiest way in the world to get de-friended by me.

“Mona Smith wants you to have some vegetables from Farmville” - WHAM! NO FRIEND FOR YOU!


46 posted on 12/02/2010 8:23:58 AM PST by freedomlover (Make sure you're in love - before you move in the heavy stuff)
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To: freedomlover

Why don’t you just hide Farmville instead? You can keep the friend and not have anything to do with Farmville show up.


47 posted on 12/02/2010 8:25:36 AM PST by ozarkgirl
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I didn’t say 20% of all marriages end in divorce, I was questioning whether 20% of all marriages THAT end in divorce do so because of affairs exposed on facebook. That hints at 20% or more of all divorce being because of adultery.


48 posted on 12/02/2010 8:25:49 AM PST by a fool in paradise (The establishment clause isn't just against my OWN government establishing state religion in America)
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To: laotzu
So.....what are you wearing?

LOL! When I first discovered chat groups I just didn't get it. I had a guy tell me he was a dancer and I took him seriously. I guessed maybe he was in a ballet troupe or line-dancing instructor or something. Then he told me what HE was wearing! YIKES!

49 posted on 12/02/2010 8:27:57 AM PST by T Minus Four (Duh. We were talking about in the old days or not-so-distant old days)
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To: SnakeDoctor
"Previous responsible parties include the text message, the cellular phone, the land-line telephone, the telegram, the mail carrier, the pen-and-paper, and the stone tablet."

------------

Fine, but before then what did Helen use?


50 posted on 12/02/2010 8:30:06 AM PST by freedomlover (Make sure you're in love - before you move in the heavy stuff)
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