Inside The Teenage Brain

Parade ^ | Nov. 28, 2010 | Judith Newman

[re_tail20]

"I would rather give birth to a baby elephant than raise a teenager again. It would be less painful," says Renee Cassis Hoering of New York City. "I cannot believe that my darling, sweet little girl has turned into a 16-year-old stranger who just wants money from me all the time."

After seeing his son through the teen years, Bob Mittelsdorf is in favor of the Mark Twain approach to child-rearing: "When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bung hole, until he reaches 16…at which time you plug the bung hole."

The intensity. The sullenness. The drama - and it isn't only the rebellious kids who suddenly turn on us. When my friend's son -- a straight-A student and all-around sweetheart -- recently ended up in the hospital getting his stomach pumped because he went out drinking with friends for the first time and had no clue how much was too much, that's when I realized: There is just no predicting. Even for the most responsible kids, there is always that combustible combination of youth, opportunity, and one bad night.

As recently as 15 years ago, parents (and even scientists) threw up their hands and cried, "Hormones!" when asked why our children become so nutty around the time of adolescence. Certainly an unholy passion for Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez doesn't help, but it's hardly the whole story. For that you have to turn to science.

[radiohead]

My FReeper son was pretty good, other than some physical damage from playing ball in the house or something. I wondered what I would do if he suddenly went wild, but it never happened.

My sisters, on the other hand, whew! Glad I was old enough to be out of the house.

[Captainpaintball]

I cannot believe that my darling, sweet little girl has turned into a 16-year-old stranger who just wants money from me all the time."

Then do not give her ANY money.

[fr_freak]

I’m convinced that one of the biggest mistakes our society ever made was stratifying in terms of age groups. Where, once upon a time, teenage sons might work with their dads out in the fields or in the shop, we now have kids warehoused in public schools, organizing their own society along the lines of “Lord of the Flies” and having very little to do with the parental or grandparental generations. Then we act all shocked and confused when their greatest influences are other teens and the stupid shows on MTV, and the resulting behavior is incomprehensibly heinous.

[Captainpaintball]

"When a child turns 12, he should be kept in a barrel and fed through the bung hole, until he reaches 16…at which time you plug the bung hole."

Thanks to Watching Beavis and Butthead when I was younger, this sentence put an awful image in my head, at first, before I put two and two together.

[re_tail20]

“It’s no surprise, then, that previous research has shown that up to 20% of high-schoolers fall asleep during the first two hours of school. According to a study done by Kyla Wahlstrom at the Center for Applied Research and Educational Improvement at the University of Minnesota, later start times for high school students would be beneficial. Wahlstrom collected data from two districts in Minnesota that moved the start time for high school about an hour later; there was a significant reduction in dropout rates and depression.”

So it would be a good idea for high schools, and maybe colleges and universities, to have days’ classes begin at 9:00 AM instead of 8:00 AM. I’d be for that.

[1951Boomer]

The only thing more insufferable than a teenager who thinks he knows everything is a college kid who thinks he knows everything. But I guess many of us oldsters have been there, done that.

[2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten]

What you say makes tons of sense. Thanks.

[radiohead]

Absolutely agree with you. The same goes for college students. Half the time you get this stupid liberal stuff from them because someone with a liberal ideation came around and is given a platform for speaking, the students think it sounded good, and the rest of the crowd goes along. They end up with like-minded people everywhere they go.

You have people of the same age in the military, but unlike college, where students are expected to be adults, so no adult guidance is provided, the military knows just how stupid young people cam be on their own and provides a strong adult hand to help get their minds right.

[ladyvet]

This is still one of the best pieces ever written about teens. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/1996/03/28/DD54240.DTL

[RJR_fan]

Bingo. Give the little man a big cigar! “By George, I think she’s got it!”

Home school families report the delight of having children who are more wholesome, chaste, and personable as teenagers than we ourselves were. Something about in one’s own family tends to help kids grow up normal.

[behzinlea]

So it is, too, with tragedies like Columbine. "There have always been adolescents who feel enraged, who want to get even, who feel ostracized. The adolescent brain is less able to control those stresses," says Daniel Weinberger of the National Institute of Mental Health. "The difference is that while 50 years ago there might have been punches thrown, now there are automatic weapons. You put one of those in the hands of an immature prefrontal cortex, and it is more likely to go off."

Interesting article. The insight concerning the impulsiveness of an immature brain makes sense. The gratuitous anti-gun BS interwoven into this particular example does not. The liberal knob offering it seems to be suggesting that 50 years ago, gun possession and use by teenagers were rare, and that the "proliferation" of guns in recent years has led teenagers to commit Columbine-type crimes. If anything, gun possession and use by teenagers was far more common 50 years ago. Columbine did not result from a proliferation of guns. In fact, it happened at a time when the gun control forces were in their heyday.

Columbine is better explained as a consequence of modern psychotropic drugs on the teenage brain--drugs prescribed by physicians not unlike the doctor quoted in the article.

[Mrs. Don-o]

Interesting article: has our Vanya written all over it.

[mykdsmom]

As a mother who has been having a LOT of trouble with my almost 16 year old son for a year now I read this in last Sundays paper and could definitely relate to it.

I've read more books about teens and their troubles in the past 6 months than I can imagine but the one I'm reading right now called: Why Do They Act That Way? A survival guide to the Adolescent brain for you and your teen by David Walsh Ph.D is one of the best.

[Calm_Cool_and_Elected]

ping

[Happy Rain]

I remember an old Far Side cartoon showing cavemen throwing teenagers off a cliff.
In the foreground a lone caveman is scratching on a flat piece of rock with a stick.

The caption and my memory only allows me to paraphrase was:

“Og,the first statistician,came to the unfortunate conclusion that throwing teenagers of a cliff may be counterproductive to human survival.”

[dnandell]

I’m currently reading a book called, “Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers.” The authors state basically the same thing you just did. I haven’t gotten to the solution part yet.

I will say that I have noticed an enormous change in my children’s behavior since we pulled them out of public school and started homeschooling. Of course they still fight with each other and when I say, “JUMP,” they don’t ask, “How high?” But I figure we’re starting at negative ground - HA.

If I had it all to do over again, I would not send them to school. You can really tell a difference between kids who have been home-schooled since the beginning that those that haven’t.

My oldest is about to turn 13, I’m going to have this framed and hanging on the fridge, “ATTENTION TEENAGERS: Tired of being hassled by your stupid parents? ACT IMMEDIATELY Move out - Get a job Pay your own bills START NOW WHILE YOU STILL KNOW EVERYTHING”

[anniegetyourgun]

Couldn’t be prouder of our son - the only time he has ever asked for money was to have painful wisdom teeth removed when he was 20. Daughter...a bit more dependent, but younger & always grateful.

[Fast Moving Angel]

My bro-in-law had the right idea. Lunar juvenile colonies.

[momtothree]

My oldest is 14 so I am just beginning this journey. I talk and talk and talk and talk... I find it keeps me informed with his responses. As for parties, that issue has already come up and I was SHOCKED that many of the parties “allow” alcohol” by the parents (or they pretend to ignore it if it shows up). One of my proudest moments recently was when he decided NOT to go to three party invites over the Thanksgiving holiday. He found out there would be alcohol/pot and chose to stay home. I hope he stays this clear and mature.