Skip to comments.Facebook: Should parents 'friend' their children?
Posted on 12/11/2010 10:28:22 PM PST by Cardhu
When Facebook was entirely dominated by people under the age of 25, things were simple. But now an important social question has arisen - should you "friend" your child, or accept a parent as a "friend"?
For a generation brought up on social networks, your "friends" can range from closest confidants to someone you met at a conference.
People you've "friended" for networking purposes are afforded equal status to your sister.
Your friends on social networks might also be your 20-something son who's travelling round Thailand or your 13-year-old daughter.
These are tricky waters for a parent to navigate, unsure of security settings and wary of others on the internet. If you are on Facebook, should you be friends with your kids?
"It's hilarious to say, isn't it? That my child is or is not my 'friend'," says Susan Maushart, author of The Winter of Our Disconnect, about her family's six-month detox from technology.
As well as spending vast amounts of time on Facebook, her children weren't making eye contact or talking to each other in person. Maushart attempted to claw back some parental presence and influence by "friending" her three children.
Two rejected her outright. One daughter accepted her request, but only after introducing strict boundaries, prohibiting her mother from commenting on photos or criticising.
This helped prompt Maushart's experiment in disconnecting her household for six months. Six months away from technology radically changed family relationships, and now Maushart has forthright opinions about the role of the internet in the family.
The danger is that through a lack of involvement or understanding in their children's social networking, parents begin to feel, as Maushart did, "powerless, irrelevant and rejected".
So should a parent "friend" their offspring on social media to keep an eye on them?
(Excerpt) Read more at bbc.co.uk ...
Why not? Its a way to see new pictures of my grandchildren every day or so, find out how they are doing....... videos of school plays I am not able to attend......everyday stuff.
Really, people get wigged out about really strange stuff.
I don't think they mean adult kid with little grandkids, OR kids around 10. I think they mean older teens or 20s, where you really don't necessarily want to see "too much."
Yah..what mom doesn’t what to know her son’s pipes are clean.
I guess I’m the cool uncle, two of my nieces have friended me and some the weird shit they write on FB scares me a bit.
I would want to know if they are doing something dangerous, but mostly I want to let them have a life.
I know I was working full time all through high school, none of the kids today seem to do that, so maybe with so much free time on their hands they get into trouble more.
It’s a strange world we live in now.....
Recommend you tell your children, nieces and nephews to create two accounts, one to friend parents and relatives and others for friending their contemporaries.
That's what was said about MySpace, so the youngins jumped over to Facebook. Don't be surpised to see an another exodus to somewhere else soon, now that everyone and their grandmother are FBers.
I have my Facebook so wired up that no one sees anything.
Every parent needs to tell their child that the internet is just like being out in public. Don’t do anything on Facebook you wouldn’t do at Pizza Hut.
I’ve had to remind a couple of 20-something nephews that employers read Facebook.
It’s sure opened my eyes about decadence during those years.
My husband says he will insist on “friending” anyone my daughter or son dates (when they are old enough).
Other than that, with friends and family who are not teens or 20-somethings, Facebook has been a source of connection and delight, as we keep up with happy stuff that people are doing.
I have many friends who have their children as friends (yes teenagers) and both sides seem to ensure respect for each other. It can work and it is positive for both sides. My kids are allowed to get Facebook at 13 (which for my oldest is next March). We will see how that turns out. I fully expect a positive experience.
Better yet, parents should ban FB.
Email is much safer unless you don't care that your grandchildren's pics are on the net for anyone to see. And yes, there are ways around the private setting. Besides, you don't know who friended who, friended who, friended who. A friend's daughter was raped a few days ago because she thought he was ok to "friend" because he was a friend of a friend. Kids now days "friend" several hundred strangers to their accounts.
Except their eyes glaze over and claim it's just their "friends!" Sure, just their closest 684 friends who can screen capture and send it on out to the entire world, but hey, they know better than stodgy old parents.
What an odd question. Of course parents should friend their children and vice versa. Most of my family is on FB and it is a great way for us to keep in touch and coordinate get togethers.
This article claims that all of FB used to be the under 25 crowd, but it wasn’t... really. It WAS the college crowd, including professors and advisors. My mother was on FB long before I was because she’s a university advisor. I held out for a fairly long time until I realized that FB was a very good forum for networking with other local homeschoolers who were not necessarily in the same homeschool group as I was.
Why not friend your mom or dad? If you want to go chat with unfavorables or otherwise keep your comments private, get a group, make it secret.
I guess this will test my parenting skills. I am confident that it will not happen. I will let you know though.
That is the post of the day.
If you or your children are doing or posting things that you would be ashamed of then why not? It’s a good way to stay in touch with family.
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