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15 Secrets Your Waiter Will Never Tell You
Reader's Digest ^ | 2/2/11 | Staff

Posted on 02/11/2011 7:18:48 AM PST by MissTed

What would two dozen servers from across the country tell you if they could get away with it? Well, for starters, when to go out, what not to order, what really happens behind the kitchen’s swinging doors, and what they think of you and your tips. Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips, a few revelations that aren’t on any menu.

What you should know on Valentine's Day 1. Make reservations early. Restaurants usually don't have an abundance of tables for two. We need to time to plan where to put everyone. You'll get a better table and we'll be prepared.

2. Don't propose. It's so cliché. But if you do, warn us first. We'll put you in the corner. Nothing's worse than a crying woman in the center of the restaurant. Trust me.

3. Since Valentine's Day is on a Monday this year, go out on Friday or Saturday. Most restaurants will also serve their special Valentine's Day menu on those days. Or go out for brunch! Then you can sleep the rest of the day.

(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS: Food
KEYWORDS: valentinesday
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My grandmother has always been a snooty, PIA at a restaurant. I always shudder to think what they've put in her food over the years.
1 posted on 02/11/2011 7:18:49 AM PST by MissTed
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To: MissTed

I’ve only done this once, but the service was so bad I actually left a one penny tip. I did it to drive home the point that I didn’t forget the tip, but the service sucked. Flame me if you will, but this guy was a REAL jerk and really didn’t even deserve the penny.


2 posted on 02/11/2011 7:26:46 AM PST by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: MissTed
9. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes

Well, I don't whistle, and I don't snap my fingers. But I like spicy food, and I do tend to drink a lot of water. I say "thank you" every time the waiter fills my glass. And if my glass stands empty for a prolonged time, or if I have to politely ask for a refill, this will always be reflected in the tip.

3 posted on 02/11/2011 7:27:48 AM PST by ClearCase_guy (BO + MB = BOMB -- The One will make sure they get one.)
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To: MissTed
Here, from a group that clears a median $8.01 an hour in wages and tips,

No wonder they are pissed. Looks like they picked lousy waiters from low class places.

I worked my way through college as a waiter at a nice upscale "continental Cuisine/French" restuarant and could go home with the months rent based on three nights work (Fri. thru Sunday).

4 posted on 02/11/2011 7:30:09 AM PST by Michael.SF. (Going to Charlotte for the barbecue is like going to Minneapolis for the gumbo - John Reed)
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To: MissTed

I have had friends look at me in shock when I have told them flat out that I will not have dinner with them again at any place I want to return to. Some people just do not know how to behave to wait staff.


5 posted on 02/11/2011 7:31:48 AM PST by Anitius Severinus Boethius
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To: econjack

We did this once as well. The waitress followed us out to the parking lot and told us that we forgot to leave her a tip. We responded back that we had not, that her tip was indicative of the level of service we received. She told us she was going to call the police on us. Bless her heart. I hope she found a different line of work otherwise, I fear we’re all paying her expenses each month. LOL


6 posted on 02/11/2011 7:32:46 AM PST by liberalh8ter
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To: econjack
I recently had a waiter who operated on the theory that customers should come and go as quickly as possible.

As I was talking off my coat, he showed up and asked, "Have you decided on a drink yet?"
He came to the table seven times before I received my food, just checking on me. Thanks for interrupting my conversation seven times!
He asked me how the food was, before I had a chance to put a single bite in my mouth.
I ordered a burger. It was large. I cut the burger in half. Before I even picked up the second half of the burger, he asked me if I wanted dessert.

I gave him 15% (I usually give 20%) just because I'm nice.

7 posted on 02/11/2011 7:32:56 AM PST by ClearCase_guy (BO + MB = BOMB -- The One will make sure they get one.)
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To: MissTed

Semen Found in Woman’s Free Yogurt Sample at Grocery Store

A 28-year-old woman was shopping with her daughter in the cereal aisle at a grocery store when she was approached by a man who offered her a sample of yogurt. After accepting the man’s yogurt sample, the woman immediately thought the sample tasted “gross and disgusting” and spit it out because she said it “tasted like semen.” (WOW!)

Read more below:

In a handwritten statement, the woman said, “I spit it out on the floor many times cuz I was upset.” The woman recalled that when she talked to manager Catherine Flores, “she told me was a Greek yoghurt. People love it has lot of protein on it.”

The woman paid for her groceries and returned home, where she told her boyfriend about the incident. She told of how Garcia had “just come with one sample just for me,” and that “he was so pushy to tell me how taste it.” The woman and her boyfriend eventually returned to the market, where they summoned police.

When questioned by cops, an “extremely nervous” Garcia denied putting bodily fluids in the yogurt container, which he admitted discarding in a trash compactor after the woman complained about the sample’s taste. An Albuquerque Police Department spokesperson said today that blood and DNA samples have been collected from the incarcerated Garcia, and that results from lab tests are expected later this week.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/revolting/shopper-ingested-semen-tainted-yogurt-sample


8 posted on 02/11/2011 7:33:03 AM PST by flowerplough (Thomas Sowell: Those who look only at Obama's deeds tend to become Obama's critics.)
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To: MissTed; Anoreth
If you’re having a disagreement over dinner and all of a sudden other servers come by to refill your water or clear your plates, or you notice a server slowly refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to yours, assume that we’re listening.

LOL!

I was waiting for my boys to come out of the pool locker room the other day, and James showed up and said, "Pat won't come because he's listening to people's conversations!"

Practice for his career as an intelligence operative ...

9 posted on 02/11/2011 7:36:48 AM PST by Tax-chick (All that, plus a real-meat cheezburger.)
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To: MissTed

10 posted on 02/11/2011 7:38:53 AM PST by So Cal Rocket (Task 1: Accomplished, Task 2: Hold them Accountable!)
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To: flowerplough

And didn’t ol’ Jesse Jackson once brag about spitting in white people’s salads?


11 posted on 02/11/2011 7:41:20 AM PST by flowerplough (Thomas Sowell: Those who look only at Obama's deeds tend to become Obama's critics.)
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To: Tax-chick

LOL!


12 posted on 02/11/2011 7:41:57 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: econjack

I think a penny tip is entirely appropriate for poor service. However no tip, or a 5% tip, when you have treated the wait staff poorly or made a huge mess is infuriating to me.


13 posted on 02/11/2011 7:42:49 AM PST by Anitius Severinus Boethius
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To: MissTed

Worst tip I ever got was a religious tract that looked like a ten dollar bill & no actual tip to go along with it. I was already a Christian, but I can guarantee that method of witnessing will be turn people off to the gospel.


14 posted on 02/11/2011 7:43:47 AM PST by Spudx7
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To: MissTed

I’ve always found that a little respect and common courtesy goes a long, long way at the resturant. I usually get good service, because I respond warmly and personably to my waiter/waitress as a person.

A smile returned, costs nothing. A polite greeting, with their name included is free - and often appreciated.

I do tip, I’ve had jobs like that when I was younger. But the fact of the matter is that they remember the tip, they remember the table it came from - but they will seldom remember that it was you that gave it. They deal with hundreds of new people every day.

On the other hand, act aloof when they greet you; don’t be surprised if they remain aloof when they serve you.

One of my favorite books (Patric Rothfuss) wrote in “The Name of the Wind”:

A Tinker’s debt is always paid;
Once for any simple trade;
Twice for freely-given aide
Thrice for any insult made.


15 posted on 02/11/2011 7:46:24 AM PST by Hodar (Who needs laws .... when this "feels" so right?)
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To: Spudx7

I went to a religious liberal arts College and all of my friends who waited as their College job (all of them good Christians) told me the worst shifts to have were Sundays and Wednesday nights because people who hit the restaurants after Church never tip or leave tracts as tips.

Even Christian waiters couldn’t stand them.


16 posted on 02/11/2011 7:47:16 AM PST by Anitius Severinus Boethius
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To: trisham

Also, he has invisibility.


17 posted on 02/11/2011 7:47:28 AM PST by Tax-chick (All that, plus a real-meat cheezburger and wine.)
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To: MissTed

Yesterday I was having lunch and waitress brought wet plates for our bread. Then had to track her down twice to get refills on drinks. Never inquired if we needed anything. I usually tip meal70% but sadly she only got 2.96 on a 12 dollar meal.


18 posted on 02/11/2011 7:48:20 AM PST by Rapunzel (Never forget Fallujah..S. Helvenston RIP.....Sarah...Sarah...Sarah loves America)
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To: Hodar

I tend to tip very well, but I tip extremely well if the waitress calls me “Sugar”, “Honey”, or “Dear”. If the waiter does that, I leave. :)


19 posted on 02/11/2011 7:50:55 AM PST by TonyInOhio ( Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils.)
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To: flowerplough

There’s a horrible yogurt-like beverage in Turkey that tastes the way this yogurt is described.


20 posted on 02/11/2011 7:52:39 AM PST by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: TonyInOhio
If the waiter does that, I leave. :)

LOL!

21 posted on 02/11/2011 7:53:38 AM PST by MissTed ( Since beginning the gin and tonic diet, I've already lost two days!)
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To: MissTed

I would fire at least four of these people.


22 posted on 02/11/2011 7:55:13 AM PST by Psalm 144 (Voodoo Republicans - Don't read their lips. Watch their hands.)
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To: Anitius Severinus Boethius

Sad but true.


23 posted on 02/11/2011 7:55:54 AM PST by Spudx7
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To: Hodar

“but they will seldom remember that it was you that gave it.”

Not necessarily.


24 posted on 02/11/2011 7:58:34 AM PST by Spudx7
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To: Anitius Severinus Boethius
We live in snowbird country and have gotten to know some of the wait staff at local places....they're not overly fond of Canadian parties; tipping isn't a part of their world.

Second place goes to the hispanics - percentage tipping is alien...a buck seems to do the trick for them.

25 posted on 02/11/2011 7:58:41 AM PST by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: liberalh8ter
I had a waiter come out to the lot to be sure I didn't tip him too much.
The service was fantastic and I tipped 25%. It was The Great Caruso in Houston.
26 posted on 02/11/2011 8:00:23 AM PST by MaxMax
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To: MissTed

The one thing that will ensure a waitstaff person won’t get a tip is when they ask “will there be change?” Uh, yeah, there’s a fifty dollar bill in there for a twenty something bill. Better believe I want change.


27 posted on 02/11/2011 8:00:45 AM PST by ReverendJames (Only A Painter Or A Liberal Can Change Black To White)
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To: ClearCase_guy

“9. Oh, you needed more water so badly, you had to snap or tap or whistle? I’ll be right back … in ten minutes”

That’s the problem: It’s already been ten minutes.


28 posted on 02/11/2011 8:01:48 AM PST by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: kabumpo

Kefir?

In Russia it is like a think tangy buttermilk.


29 posted on 02/11/2011 8:02:19 AM PST by Psalm 144 (Voodoo Republicans - Don't read their lips. Watch their hands.)
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To: MissTed
I always leave 15% for waiters. I round it up if they have been good. I leave 15% to the penny if they have not.

I never take the wife out on Valentine's Day. Restaurants are ridiculously crowded as guys who never do anything thoughtful try to make up for it on one day. It's like the people who only go to church on Christmas and Easter.

My wife always makes us a special candlelight dinner for Valentine's day. Besides, her birthday is the same month; and I always take her out for that.

30 posted on 02/11/2011 8:02:40 AM PST by Sans-Culotte ( Pray for Obama- Psalm 109:8)
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To: MaxMax

I had a waiter come out to the lot to be sure I didn’t tip him too much.
The service was fantastic and I tipped 25%. It was The Great Caruso in Houston.

*****************************

I usually tip fairly high, and tend to be a regular at places I like. At one such place during a period when I was down on my luck (broke), the wait staff was with managerial permission adding to my orders with employee discount meal items they would add to my modest order.

It was only for about a week and my fortunes changed, and we went back to the normal exchange, but I never forgot the kind turnaround at that place, from all the people who worked there.


31 posted on 02/11/2011 8:08:18 AM PST by Psalm 144 (Voodoo Republicans - Don't read their lips. Watch their hands.)
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To: flowerplough

“...and spit it out because she said it “tasted like semen.” “

She should get on “Name That Tune,” I bet she’d do well.

I wonder how old the daughter was and what questions she asked on the way home...


32 posted on 02/11/2011 8:09:53 AM PST by PLMerite (Thanks for fixing the clock.)
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To: econjack

Agrred. This is not rocket science. Some of the best service we get is in our favorite Mexican restaurant. By the time we are seated, they are setting down the chips and salsa. Quick on the drinks, food orders, etc. A tough act to follow, even in the hi-end places. But yes, a perfect tip to get the point across. I have done it myself.


33 posted on 02/11/2011 8:10:45 AM PST by SgtHooper (The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.)
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To: MissTed

Waiters to me are usually polite if you just match their tempo as they have a routine to help them keep things together. I hate when my glass goes empty but I am also not afraid to get their attention and without even asking they usally know why and get right on it. I also tip well, usually 20%, except more at holidays and for waiters I have gotten to know and they provide that extra level of service. It is not unusual to tip extra to the kitchen staff when they go out of their way specifically for us, such as when they make a dish they no longer usually offer or provide an extra special meal near the holidays. I find most good restaurants hire good people and they do try; they goof up sometimes but rarely on purpose. I’ve had a few nasty experiences but I also have found that managers usually care to know and take action. I’ve gotten a few free meals from it and have seen a few waiters walked out. Overall, though, a smile and polite interaction goes a LONG way to a better experience, even when the waiter or kitchen staff makes a goof.


34 posted on 02/11/2011 8:12:10 AM PST by CodeToad (Islam needs to be banned in the US and treated as a criminal enterprise.)
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To: econjack

I have done that once before...and only once. I won’t go into the details of how badly the meal and service were, but here is what followed.

I was having dinner with my sister when she was a student at UNC. The “waiter” followed me next door to a bookstore and asked if there was some problem with the service.

I said, “Service? What service? It was practically nonexistent”...and named a few examples of WHY it was so bad.

His reply: “But sir, this is how I earn my living!”

I looked at him square in the eye, paused, and said: “Perhaps you should consider a different line of work.”

He said nothing, turned, and walked out of the store.


35 posted on 02/11/2011 8:19:35 AM PST by Constitution Day
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To: flowerplough

We used to shop at that store when we lived in New Mexico. They had great coffee.


36 posted on 02/11/2011 8:23:50 AM PST by Disambiguator
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To: Anitius Severinus Boethius
I think a penny tip is entirely appropriate for poor service.

I'd suggest doing the business a favor. If the service is that poor, it needs to be brought to the manager's attention as well.

37 posted on 02/11/2011 8:24:10 AM PST by Bob
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To: Tax-chick

LOL!


38 posted on 02/11/2011 8:36:32 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Tax-chick

How old is Pat now?


39 posted on 02/11/2011 8:38:35 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Bob
I'd suggest doing the business a favor. If the service is that poor, it needs to be brought to the manager's attention as well.

On the flip side, if the service is excellent, I'll ask for the manager and compliment my server. Everyone gets shallow complaints, and we owe it to the good people to put in a good word that balances out those comments.

40 posted on 02/11/2011 8:50:23 AM PST by Pollster1 (Natural born citizen of the USA, with the birth certificate to prove it)
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To: Pollster1
On the flip side, if the service is excellent, I'll ask for the manager and compliment my server. Everyone gets shallow complaints, and we owe it to the good people to put in a good word that balances out those comments.

Excellent point. While I don't trouble managers when the service is good (or even just adequate), I do go out of my way to let them know of extremes in either direction.

41 posted on 02/11/2011 8:55:51 AM PST by Bob
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To: MissTed
I have a few habits that have helped out:

1. Be a regular.
2. Call your staff by name.
3. Tip significantly.
4. If you're getting shorted because the staff is having a hard time with another table, don't take it out on the staff, tip extra and leave a note, "this is for putting up with that brat at table 10." Smile and wink on the way out. Believe me, this one really works.
5. One bad experience, forgive. Two, take a couple of months off. If you've done 1-4 it will be noticed.
6. Never be confrontational. Nobody wins. It may make you feel better but she/he'll be bringing you your food.

42 posted on 02/11/2011 9:03:25 AM PST by Billthedrill
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To: trisham

Nine, going on 48.


43 posted on 02/11/2011 9:05:05 AM PST by Tax-chick (All that, plus a real-meat cheezburger and wine.)
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To: ErnBatavia

In Mexico, 10% is considered a hefty tip. The local Chilis used to do a “south of the border sunday” which attracted a lot of Mexicans (actual Mexicans not hispanics) and the waiters I knew would bribe, threaten, and cajole the hostesses into putting them in someone else’s section.


44 posted on 02/11/2011 9:10:10 AM PST by RightOnTheBorder
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To: econjack
I’ve only done this once, but the service was so bad I actually left a one penny tip. I did it to drive home the point that I didn’t forget the tip, but the service sucked. Flame me if you will, but this guy was a REAL jerk and really didn’t even deserve the penny.

Actually, I thought that was the norm for crappy service.

45 posted on 02/11/2011 9:11:21 AM PST by IYAS9YAS (Rose, there's a Messerschmit in the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?)
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To: Psalm 144

Not to go out on a limb, but if you were broke, should you really have been dining out? ;)


46 posted on 02/11/2011 9:17:33 AM PST by bt_dooftlook (Democrats - the party of Amnesty, Abortion, and Adolescence)
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To: flowerplough
An Albuquerque Police Department spokesperson said today that blood and DNA samples have been collected from the incarcerated Garcia, and that results from lab tests are expected later this week.

An update - the sample was confirmed to be from the store employee (he was arrested in January for failing to show on child molestation charges).

http://www.krqe.com/dpp/news/crime/apd-dna-links-suspect-to-yogurt-case

I shop at this market (good selection of produce). I don't recognize the guy, but I don't spend a lot of time there (too many loony libs there). Apparently, according to earlier reports, the guy actually pointed the lady out to other employees and, for lack of a better word, stalked her in the store to get her to taste the stuff.

47 posted on 02/11/2011 9:20:05 AM PST by IYAS9YAS (Rose, there's a Messerschmit in the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya?)
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To: Constitution Day

Perfect!


48 posted on 02/11/2011 9:21:48 AM PST by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: liberalh8ter
Eight of us had a meal at L'Maison in Cincinnati way back in the late 70's. It was an expensive restaurant and the bill was about $300, so we put $350 in cash on the table and left. (None of us had credit cards back then.) While we were waiting for our cabs to arrive, the maitre'd came out and asked if the service was acceptable. We said it was very good. He said: "Then why didn't you leave a tip?" We explained that we did and he accused us of skipping out without leaving a tip. I suggested that he check with the bus boy who cleared the table. He spun on his heels and literally ran back into the restaurant.

He didn't come back out.

49 posted on 02/11/2011 9:30:20 AM PST by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: Tax-chick

LOL!


50 posted on 02/11/2011 9:38:57 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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