So when is it permissable to check out?

Self | 03/01/2011 | PhilStone

[PhilosopherStone1000]

So I'm 50. I have a very smart, very beautiful daughter who is a junior in high school.

Every day, I wake up and say to myself "Crap. I'm still alive."

I feel like I've done my job. I have give birth to and raised an extraordinary human being. There's nothing I can do now to advance her career or life.

How much does God expect me to endure? When can I say "I've had enough?" At what point is it rational to jump off that bridge simply because one is tired of putting up with all the crap?

[ladyvet]

My mother died when I was 20, my father 23, my brother commited suicide at the age of 49 four years ago. Every day I wish I had one more hour with them. Why would you put your child thru that?

[Immerito]

And what, exactly, do I have to “give” her?

For starters, you can teach her, by your example, that men and women of character stay the course even in difficult times. You don’t have to be the Lone Ranger and face your problems alone. I encourage you to get counseling and to read the Bible.

If you take your life, that seemingly insignificant decision will have eternal ramifications.

[al baby]

I think you need to seek help

[Attention Surplus Disorder]

I just returned from the decision to place my Mom in hospice care, today. She is 93.

50?

Unless you are seriously and terminally ill, your aspiration level is frighteningly low.

[TXConservative25]

Look buddy, you’ve been here for a while so I don’t think you’re joking around.

I can’t figure out too much from what you wrote, but God loves your daughter and you. I don’t know if you’re a single dad or if you have a wife.

I don’t care if you’re liberal or conservative right now. Just don’t be an idiot. I know times are tough with the state of this economy and this country. It’s just a year and a half until Obama’s voted out :).

Cheer up, dude. Yes, I know Obama’s still President and you the may be having some problems, but your daughter needs you, and it seems by reaching out to the Internet community (you’ve been here long enough that odds are you’re not a troll) you really don’t want to do this.

[MediaMole]

She’s still a child.

You will cause her untold pain and most likely put her at risk for suicide as well.

Please, please seek professional help. It isn’t normal to feel like you say you do.

[Kieri]

Awesome reply.

My husband and I have a son who’ll be 21, and our baby, a daughter, graduates in May and is planning to attend school in Chicago. I can’t wait to se what kind of full adults they’ll be and how far they’ll fly!

I’m greedy too. I want to see New Zealand. :)

[TXConservative25]

What do you mean by this?

[Chode]

you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave...

[fso301]

There's nothing I can do now to advance her career or life.

There is an extraordinary amount that you can still do. What you may be experiencing with her is that the raising part is over and now you have to begin guiding her and that will take you into a whole new realm of life.

At a time when my wife and I were raising our 2-7 year old children (and we still are), we took in her teenage neice who had suddenly become orphaned.

While a good kid, she was 16, had gone through a lot and couldn't be dealt with like our children. We had to suddenly switch from raising mode to guiding mode. It seems to have worked out well and she's now in nursing school with plans to become a nurse practitioner.

[navymom1]

Depression is real and it hits conservatives and liberals alike. I know, I’ve been there.

The internet is a place where one can post about anything. For what it’s worth, I’m going to believe what the man posted as the truth. If he is seriously feeling like checking out, then he needs to talk to someone. I hope he does and gets the medication and counseling he needs to live a full and abundant life. As a conservative, I would hope that you’d feel the same way. Being conservative means valuing life not kicking someone who is already down.

[TexasTransplant]

What is your blood type and what kinda shape is your Liver in?

Just checkin

[MissMack99]

Become a true patriot and let it guide you through life. Wrap yourself around the American flag and every day will be better. Fight the good fight because we need all the help we can get. Go to your library and rent the HBO series John Adams and other historical videos about the foundations of this country. Its great stuff!

[chris_bdba]

No I dont live in any sort of Disneyland world but I’m 50 too and there is no way I want to go anywhere. I fight everyday to stay here since I live with one of the top 10 killer dieases out there.Wow it’s really sad to me that someone’s life is so meaningless to them? Life has challenges and a whole lot of joy to experince and I plan to stay as long as the lord will let me and then probably try to fight for more time anyway.

[USNBandit]

Your daughter still has a long way to go in her life. If you check out now, it will have a devastating effect on her life that could be permanent. If she ever starts thinking about checking out herself, she will have you as a role model. You don't want that.

If you check out you are going to deny both of you the chance to know each others as adults. That is something you aren't going to want to miss.

[beaversmom]

Permissible? From whom do you want permission?

[count-your-change]

Stop the whining! You have a bed to sleep in and food to eat.

You enjoy a standard of living kings a hundred years ago couldn’t dream of and you whine about you have to put with.

I’m around people who really do have problems and don’t get on the internet to gripe to strangers, they thank God every day they have the opportunity to live and enjoy the blessings that they have.

[narses]

What is your faith tradition?

What do you believe is the value of any human life?

What will your death do to those you love?

What will your obituary read?

[freedumb2003]

This evening I had a pity party of my own.

I have chronic — debilitating — back pain I can’t shake: so I have to work 12 to 16 hours a day to do the work I would normally do in 8 to 10.

I have a close friend who told me she will probably die from cancer very soon (which set off a WHOLE NEW set of pity and some self-loathing for feeling bad for feeling bad).

I hang in there for my wife, whose I love more than the depressing feelings of my physical and emotional pain.

I hang on to the important things in my love: the love of my wife, the affection of my friends, the importance of my work, etc.

If you have kids, you have a gift from God that is immeasurable. I assume you have a spouse, whose love is all any of us can ask for.

And God watches over us all — and never gives us more than we can handle, although sometimes more than we can take.

I am so in there with your pity party: sometimes we need people to remind us why we keep on keeping on. I think crying is OK (as long as it is for someone else).

Just look up at your burdens and take pride in your hanging in there. That is what Men do. Unless you are a woman. Because that is also what Women do.

But don’t let people berate you — just don’t neglect your responsibilities (living for your loved ones being #1)

[Fester Chugabrew]

Fine comments from your fellow Freepers here. Life is a gift. Enjoy along with your daughter and the rest of us!