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$~$~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~$~$

Posted on 03/04/2011 4:02:25 AM PST by Lucky9teen

Who said it: Charlie Sheen or Muamar Gaddafi? (select to see answer)

"The [ringleaders/network execs] are in their homes or they are abroad, comfortable, and having fun."
Answer:Muamar Gaddafi

"I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets."
Answer:Charlie Sheen

"I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"Respond to them, put them to shame."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"If you love with violence and you hate with violence, there's nothing that can be questioned."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"How can you justify such misbehavior from people who live in good neighborhoods?"
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"There's a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

""All [African nations/network stars] look up to [Libya/me], all the [rulers of the world/aspiring actors] look up to [Libya/me]. [Protesters are/Chuck Lorre is] serving the devil."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe."
Answer: Muamar Gaddafi

"I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."
Answer: Charlie Sheen

"Dance ... sing and get ready ... this is the spirit ... this is much better than the lies of the [Arab propaganda/network spin doctors]."
Answer:
Muamar Gaddafi

"I am like the Queen of England."
Answer:
Muamar Gaddafi

"Remember these are my people...not yours...we will continue on together..."
Answer:
Charlie Sheen

"We will continue to fight. We will defeat them."
Answer:
Muamar Gaddafi

"Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words -- imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists."
Answer:
Charlie Sheen

"I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p*ssy."
Answer:
Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen

FROM THIS:


TO THIS:

Top 10 Sheen Quotes

10. “I wish [Chuck Lorrie ]nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon.”

9. “I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I’m bayonets. I’m battle tested bayonets…”

8. “I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’

7. “”Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don’t think the term is good enough, but when you’re bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I’m 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn’t lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I’ll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers.”"

6. “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.”

5. “”I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself… It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.”

4. ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”

3. “Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you’re going to need it. Badly … She’s not there now and we are and I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.”"

2. “I don’t live in the middle anymore, thats where you get slaughtered, that’s where you get embarrassed in front of the prom queen and I just…it’s just not an option.”

1. “I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t just perfect and just winning every second, and I’m not just perfect and bi**hing and just delivering the goods at every frickin’ turn.”

FROM THIS:


TO THIS:

Top 10 Gaddafi Quotes


10. "There must be a world revolution which puts an end to all materialistic conditions hindering woman from performing her natural role in life and driving her to carry out man's duties in order to be equal in rights."

9. "The Libyan system is a system of the people and no one can go against the authority of the people. .. The people are free to choose the authority they see fit."

8. “There is no state with a democracy except Libya on the whole planet.”

7. "Democracy means permanent rule! (This is an Arabic play on words.)"

6. "Obeying your parents is more important than doing as your parents say."

5. "I will stay in Libya until I die, or until the end of the time God allows me to live!"

4. "Protest however you want, but do not go onto the streets and squares!"

3. "I am not such a dictator that I would shut down Facebook. I’ll merely imprison anyone who logs in to it."

2. "Were it not for electricity, we would have to watch television in the dark."

1. "A woman has the right to run for election whether she’s male or female!"







 


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: gaddafi; ofst; sheen; silliness
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To: Lucky9teen

21 posted on 03/04/2011 5:37:35 AM PST by Bean Counter (Stout Hearts!)
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY-FIVE!!!!
22 posted on 03/04/2011 5:47:05 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20!


23 posted on 03/04/2011 5:49:38 AM PST by Ro_Thunder (I sure hope there is a New Morning in America soon. All this hope and change is leaving me depressed)
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To: RetSignman
Charlie's dumber than this guy


24 posted on 03/04/2011 6:32:04 AM PST by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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To: Lucky9teen

25 posted on 03/04/2011 6:48:25 AM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Lucky9teen

From the email today!


Subject: FW: President’s Day

President’s Day

I was eating lunch today with my 10 year old grandson.

When his mom asked him,”What is tomorrow?”

He said, “It’s President’s Day.”

She asked, “What does that mean?”

I was waiting for something profound...

He said, “President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment.”

I almost snorted my iced tea.


26 posted on 03/04/2011 6:48:25 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (America has two cancers - democrats and RINOS.)
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To: Lucky9teen

27 posted on 03/04/2011 6:49:07 AM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Just what kind of office do YOU have... HMMM ?

28 posted on 03/04/2011 6:51:30 AM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Lucky9teen

I’ve seen it before but it’s still funny

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper sticker ..

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t
honked, I’d never have noticed..

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, ‘For the love of
God!’

‘Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!’

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! ;
There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma


29 posted on 03/04/2011 6:52:52 AM PST by sunny48
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To: Lucky9teen

In late but still TGIF!!!!


30 posted on 03/04/2011 6:57:42 AM PST by Currentriverrat (Stop cap and trade fraud.)
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To: Monkey Face

See You At The Toop!


31 posted on 03/04/2011 7:06:58 AM PST by proudpapa
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To: Monkey Face

I liked TOOP 15 bettah....


32 posted on 03/04/2011 7:18:58 AM PST by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: Lucky9teen

33 posted on 03/04/2011 7:19:41 AM PST by JRios1968 (Laz would hit it!)
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To: Arrowhead1952

Why we love children ......

1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.’

3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. ‘Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.’

4) MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

5) POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, ‘Are you a cop? Yes,’ I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?’ ‘Yes, that’s right,’ I told her. ‘Well, then,’ she said as she extended her foot toward me, ‘would you please tie my shoe?’

6) POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.
‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?’

7) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

8) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

9) DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.’(I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’ she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

11) BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam ‘s underwear!’

NOW IF THIS DIDN’T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT .


34 posted on 03/04/2011 7:21:39 AM PST by sunny48
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To: JRios1968

OK that is Funny!


35 posted on 03/04/2011 7:43:42 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?)
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To: sunny48
I'm a person who doesn't like to throw things away. always have been. Not as bad as the “hoarders” they show on TV, but you should see my attic, or at least before the wife made us throw most of the stuff out.

I was also a kid that tore up almost everything I got when I was little. But I still have two Christmas presents from when I was young.

The banana bike I got in 1966 when I was seven and the Bible from 1967.

The bike is still ride-able (and in pretty good shape) and I still read that Bible.

You should see my fat self on that bike.

36 posted on 03/04/2011 7:48:22 AM PST by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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To: JRios1968

Holy crap, I can’t believe the coincidence. I just broke down and bought a copy of that CD from Amazon. The $1.89 is going to be well worth it.

Thanks for posting, it made my day.


37 posted on 03/04/2011 7:52:04 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Lucky9teen

38 posted on 03/04/2011 8:20:22 AM PST by BenLurkin (This post is not a statement of fact. It is merely a personal opinion -- or humor -- or both)
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To: Lucky9teen

39 posted on 03/04/2011 8:22:21 AM PST by Lady Jag (Keep the 'ICk" in Democratic)
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To: CPOSharky

A guy was eating lunch today with his 10-year-old grandson when his mom asked him, “What is tomorrow?” He said, “It’s President’s Day.”

She asked, “What does that mean?” ... I was waiting for something profound...

He said, “President’s Day is when Obama steps out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have 2 more years of unemployment.”


40 posted on 03/04/2011 8:28:36 AM PST by BenLurkin (This post is not a statement of fact. It is merely a personal opinion -- or humor -- or both)
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