Skip to comments.Colonoscopy Journal..(SOME HUMOR)
Posted on 03/29/2011 11:59:03 AM PDT by Doogle
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy.
A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.
I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
(Excerpt) Read more at miamiherald.com ...
This 52 year old has a colon of a 26 year old. Dang proud of it too. Wanna see pictures? Got them right here in my wallet.
I call friends to help me move things, go to the range, hit the bars.
Calling a friend to arrange ANYTHING concerning my exit would be construed as a breach of code.
What? have you been rooting in Gary Heidnik's freezer?
Got’er done a few years ago. Scary results that end up with me rushed to and admitted to a hospital that morning. Blockage that the Dr. was afraid could be cancer, turned out after an extensive opperation to be non cancerous. Wooo Hooo! Have had two colonoscopies since and all was good! Spent a week in the hospital after the surgery and months recovering at home. Walking and other activity was very painful. I am free and clear and the next test is two years down the road. Damn nasty stuff to drink ( force down) the day before!
Calling a friend for such things is probably stretching the bonds of friendship...
...among other things.
Mine is scheduled for the 2nd week in May. Wheeeee.
Don't make friends with swollen intestines. They rarely do anything good for you like lend you a car or watch your kids. Maybe Dave should make more friends with gastroenterologists instead.
Dave Barry is one of the greatest humor columnists for a generation.
Now you don’t have to do the MediPrep. If you can tolerate pills (LOTS of pills) there’s a prep that has you downing pills, instead of the MediPrep. Worked great for me, but don’t forget to drink tons of liquids, if you decide to take that route.
I’m 58 and have had four of them, the preparation is far worse than the procedure - don’t put it off if you’re getting older.
“I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenteritis”
If I called my friend an enflamed gut, he might resent it.
Don't worry, you will probably survive it. The best advice I got was drink the laxative through a straw. That way it bypasses the tastebuds. Of course, I got this advice the day after my prep as the nurse was readying me for the procedure itself. But I'll remember it for next time...ten years from now.
(Holy beep! Dave Barry is 60????)
Too funny, too true!
My first, some time ago... I was dating
a retired Army Drill Sargraent at the time, who
promised the DOCTOR he would get me there.
Literally, he broke down the bathroom door
to get me into the car - I was petrified.
Afterwards, the doc told me that in 10,000 patients,
I was his worst.
That said, Xanax will get you through or to anything,
even your next colonoscopy.
Dave’s right, go get one.
A homosexual acquaintance of mine reported difficulty overcoming the anesthetic used for his colonoscopy.
I have large straws from Taipei that should help.
THANK GOD! I'm going to ask for that next time. I could not get that MediPrep stuff down. I was gagging. I was afraid I'd just throw it up and so it wouldn't do any good. I'd rather take a whole bushel basket of pills than drink that crap again.
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