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Dear Urban Cyclists: Go Play in Traffic
The Wall Street Journal ^ | April 2, 2011 | P.J. O'Rourke

Posted on 04/02/2011 6:48:43 PM PDT by OddLane

A fibrosis of bicycle lanes is spreading through the cities of the world. The well-being of innocent motorists is threatened as traffic passageways are choked by the spread of dull whirs, sharp whistles and sanctimonious pedal-pushing.

Bike lanes have appeared in all the predictable places—Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Berkeley and Palo Alto. But the incidence of bike lanes is also on the rise in unlikely locales such as slush-covered Boston, rain-drenched Vancouver, frozen Montreal and Bogotá, Colombia (where, perhaps, bicycles have been given the traffic lanes previously reserved for drug mules). Even Dublin, Ireland, has had portions of its streets set aside for bicycles only—surely unnecessary in a country where everyone's car has been repossessed.

Then there is the notorious case of New York City. Not long ago the only people who braved New York on bicycles were maniacal bike messengers and children heeding an abusive parent's command to "go play in traffic." Now New York has 670 miles of bike lanes—rather more than it has miles of decently paved streets.

(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bikelanes; bloomberg; potholes
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1 posted on 04/02/2011 6:48:47 PM PDT by OddLane
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To: OddLane

I hate Bicyclist


2 posted on 04/02/2011 6:50:06 PM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom!!! <sarc>)
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To: OddLane

But Peej, they already do.


3 posted on 04/02/2011 6:54:45 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: OddLane

When I see these bicyclists all decked out in skin tight spandex I can’t help but wonder if what it’s really about is guys out cruising for guys?


4 posted on 04/02/2011 6:55:33 PM PDT by fso301
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To: fso301

I’m with you, the only bike a guy should be on is one with an engine. And not a mo-ped.


5 posted on 04/02/2011 6:58:15 PM PDT by kevslisababy
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To: OddLane

Honestly, I got nothing against people who want to ride a bicycle for exercise or fun. What I do have a problem with is when these bicyclists begin to think that the roads belong to them and that cars must yield to them instead of the other way around. It really tweaks me that I have to yield to and watch for people who are stupid enough to ride a bike on a very narrow, heavily traveled road with no ‘bike lanes’ or shoulders.


6 posted on 04/02/2011 6:58:40 PM PDT by LoneStarGI (Vegetarian: Old Indian word for "BAD HUNTER.")
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To: OddLane

The problem with bike lanes and sidewalks is the idiots don’t use them, they ride in the vehicular lanes anyway. Personally I enjoy riding for exercise and hitting offroad trails as well, but I can’t stand the cyclist culture. Hint, you are not Lance Armstrong, you don’t need a helmet, and a simple pair of shorts and a tshirt will do just fine.


7 posted on 04/02/2011 7:03:48 PM PDT by wolfman23601
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To: wolfman23601
I'm pretty certain bicylclists aren't allowed to ride on sidewalks.
8 posted on 04/02/2011 7:12:48 PM PDT by OddLane
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To: OddLane

Agenda 21: Implementation is incremental and often times subliminal, but always on the march. The enemy never sleeps, never rests, and will never stop until made to.


9 posted on 04/02/2011 7:13:11 PM PDT by ArchAngel1983 (Arch Angel- on guard / Still Think You're Free?)
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To: OddLane

Read the comments. On the WSJ site and here. Americans don’t get satire. Sorry, P.J.


10 posted on 04/02/2011 7:14:42 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: OddLane

11 posted on 04/02/2011 7:14:44 PM PDT by LostInBayport (When there are more people riding in the cart than there are pulling it, the cart stops moving...)
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To: OddLane

I love to see ‘em run a stop sign and get smacked.


12 posted on 04/02/2011 7:17:26 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Sarah and the Conservatives will rock your world.)
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To: OddLane

If cyclists want to make use of the roads then they should be made to pay for them like those of us who drive do.


13 posted on 04/02/2011 7:19:46 PM PDT by pnh102 (Regarding liberalism, always attribute to malice what you think can be explained by stupidity. - Me)
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To: wolfman23601

Im in one of the smaller boroughs and saw one, repeat one bike rider in the bike lane, and do you know in nyc if you want to make a right turn you cant do it from the bike lane you have to do it from the left side of the lane direction your going in..got that? but try asking DOT for a needed stop sign or traffic light where there are muliple accidents the DOT has to do traffic studies, Epa studies URLUP studies, land use studies, proctologies of habitual drivers who use these streets but ask for a bike lane and you got it...I HATE GREEN and sometimes yellow makes me sad I think


14 posted on 04/02/2011 7:20:09 PM PDT by merryberry (was once a sad berry)
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To: Navy Patriot
What a heartless and mean-spirited post. How would you like it if some idiot cyclist crashed into your automobile and messed up the finish?
15 posted on 04/02/2011 7:23:34 PM PDT by bornred
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To: fso301
When I see these bicyclists all decked out in skin tight spandex I can’t help but wonder if what it’s really about is guys out cruising for guys?

There's a guy at my gym who wears the whole spandex outfit to ride the stationary bikes.
16 posted on 04/02/2011 7:23:49 PM PDT by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: al baby
I hate Bicyclist

Which one, exactly?

17 posted on 04/02/2011 7:24:06 PM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: fso301

If you’ve ever done a hundred mile ride, you’d understand why they wear those spandex with PADS in them. That seat is like sitting on a postage stamp.


18 posted on 04/02/2011 7:27:52 PM PDT by irishtenor (Everything in moderation, however, too much whiskey is just enough... Mark Twain)
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To: LostInBayport
And your point is?


19 posted on 04/02/2011 7:28:58 PM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: OddLane
I like bikes!


20 posted on 04/02/2011 7:30:55 PM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: OddLane

Q: What is a two word definition for “bicyclist”?

A: Organ Donor.


21 posted on 04/02/2011 7:36:30 PM PDT by surely_you_jest
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To: OddLane

I dread driving during the summer months because of bicyclists. The newest hazard is the bike rider who pulls out of the bike lane, and passes on the left.


22 posted on 04/02/2011 7:36:34 PM PDT by Krankor (And he's oh, so good, And he's oh, so fine, And he's oh, so healthy, In his body and his mind)
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To: bornred
What a heartless and mean-spirited post. How would you like it if some idiot cyclist crashed into your automobile and messed up the finish?

I drive an older 3/4 ton (built like a tank) truck with grille guards for exactly that purpose.

I am well aware of the mindset, hubris and attitude of these creeps and they EARN their reward.

23 posted on 04/02/2011 7:39:15 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Sarah and the Conservatives will rock your world.)
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To: Vision

Does he wear the helmet, too?


24 posted on 04/02/2011 7:43:09 PM PDT by ponygirl
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To: OddLane

In my opinion it depends on the city.
I have been to Amsterdam many times, and bicycles outnumber cars.
The same is true in MANY cities outside of the USSA.
In my small town here in the Philippines, cars are so few in number that there is no need for bicycle lanes. The whole street is our lane.
I do not think any US city would qualify for dedicated bike lanes.

One interesting note:
When I lived in Bratislava, every weekend I would take a lengthy bike ride along the Danube.
They have a four lane divided highway just for bicycles, skate boards, and roller blades. No motorized vehicles allowed at any time.
It is quite long, going from the city center, to the
Austrian boarder.
Two lanes were built on top of the dam, and on the downside of the damn is an older road that was closed off to ANY motorized traffic.
It is very popular on weekends, with pubs and eaterys at regular intervals. Oh, and there is a neat nude bathing lake at the end :)

As for the spandex bikers, I agree....such fruitcakes.


25 posted on 04/02/2011 7:43:44 PM PDT by AlexW
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To: ArchAngel1983

That’s what they did with some of the busiest streets around here. Took 4 lane streets and made them two lanes, a turn lane and two bike lanes.

A local reporter conducted a survey over 24 hours and counted some 14,000 cars and 7 bikes.


26 posted on 04/02/2011 7:44:17 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: OddLane
I'm glad I clicked on the link and read the whole thing. It's about bike lanes IN NEW YORK CITY, a bunch of them. About doing business via bike instead of car, how it's hard to be taken seriously when you're wearing a skittle-colored helmet that makes you look like Woody Woodpecker, and exchanging backpacks for bike-toted computers being akin to trading business for the schoolyard level -- basically, that riding a bike is demeaning and undignified. And specifically, he is talking about the bike lanes IN NEW YORK CITY. It's a very good and satisfying read!

Bicycling in urban areas is a vanity that wastes other peoples' money and endangers their safety.

27 posted on 04/02/2011 7:45:39 PM PDT by Finny ("Raise hell. Vote smart." -- Ted Nugent)
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To: AlexW

That was a neat post, AW.


28 posted on 04/02/2011 7:49:13 PM PDT by Finny ("Raise hell. Vote smart." -- Ted Nugent)
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To: OddLane

Having spent 6 years in a college town (Ann Arbor) I have grown to hate cyclists. So many of them weave in and out of traffic and do not stop for signs or lights. A few of them were mere inches away from ending up as hood ornaments on my car.


29 posted on 04/02/2011 7:49:34 PM PDT by ConservativeTeen (Proud Right Wing Extremist)
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To: OddLane

I’m fear the possibility of a cyclist falling into my car’s path.


30 posted on 04/02/2011 7:52:50 PM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: OddLane

I’ll bet most of you commenting here would be amazed at the number of rock-ribbed conservatives I enjoy chatting with on bike rides. NOT in NYC :-) but in fly-over country where cycling is just part of an outdoor lifestyle and like hunting, skiing, or any other we wear proper clothing and gear and obey the rules.

But you all knew that, didn’t you?


31 posted on 04/02/2011 7:56:35 PM PDT by bigbob (u)
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To: cripplecreek

Sounds like our smaller city. Bike lanes everywhere but very few bikes. Maybe they are all preparing for when none can afford to drive anymore.


32 posted on 04/02/2011 7:57:32 PM PDT by sheana
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To: sheana
Some type of "livable communities" initiative. The city gets tax dollars for harassing the citizens out of their cars and making the city unlivable. Fortunately I don't live there, I live in what could be classified as a village.

The "street" I live on.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
33 posted on 04/02/2011 8:01:50 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: Finny

“That was a neat post, AW.”

Thank you...I was expecting someone to jump me for the misspelling of the second dam,(damn) but the word damn is so stuck in my mind with Obozo as president, haha
Just this morning I saw a post where there was a simple misspelling. It was just an omitted letter.
The poster was so embarrassed, he made a second post to correct it. I started to post that it was not necessary to apologize.
If not for my automatic spell check, I could not post at all.


34 posted on 04/02/2011 8:04:08 PM PDT by AlexW
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To: ConservativeTeen

I live in southeastern Jackson county about 30 miles from Ann Arbor. Its a whole different country over here.


35 posted on 04/02/2011 8:04:44 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Remember the River Raisin! (look it up))
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To: bornred
A little informative reading for you here
36 posted on 04/02/2011 8:06:09 PM PDT by Navy Patriot (Sarah and the Conservatives will rock your world.)
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To: Vision
There's a guy at my gym who wears the whole spandex outfit to ride the stationary bikes.

OK, that was funny.

37 posted on 04/02/2011 8:09:45 PM PDT by John123 (US$ - I owe you nothing. Euro - Who owes you nothing.)
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To: wolfman23601
Hint, you are not Lance Armstrong, you don’t need a helmet,

Hint back at you, you need the helmet because you aren't Lance Armstrong or Evel Knievel. The helmet isn't for speed, it's mostly for protection. And that protection is needed even at the speeds amateurs attain.

But wearing one of the tear-drop, speedy looking helmets on a cruise to the malt-shop does make you look like a doofus.

38 posted on 04/02/2011 8:09:46 PM PDT by slowhandluke (It's hard to be cynical enough in this age.)
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To: wolfman23601
I ride in Boston. Spring, Summer and fall every day and to do so without a helmet is a mistake. I've a few stories about almost getting clobbered by cars. They all involve women texting or gabbing on their phones.

Biking down Boylston street without helmet would be outright insanity. Buddy of mine saw a kid get hit by car not too long ago. Kids head went into the windshield face first. No helmet.

Completely agree with the condemnation of the the entire biking culture though. Really make things difficult for the rest of us.

oh - I should add I've never worn a piece of spandex my entire life.

39 posted on 04/02/2011 8:12:54 PM PDT by warsaw44
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To: cripplecreek
"That’s what they did with some of the busiest streets around here. Took 4 lane streets and made them two lanes, a turn lane and two bike lanes."

And that's what they did to Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington D.C. and Broadway Ave. in New York and who knows how many other locations. Officials in London, England recently announced that they propose an automobile free city in the near future.

Mobility is freedom, and freedom is not permissible in the New World Order.

If you have any suggestions on how to eradicate this malignancy, please advise. . .

40 posted on 04/02/2011 8:21:48 PM PDT by ArchAngel1983 (Arch Angel- on guard / Still Think You're Free?)
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To: bigbob
I’ll bet most of you commenting here would be amazed at the number of rock-ribbed conservatives I enjoy chatting with on bike rides. NOT in NYC :-) but in fly-over country where cycling is just part of an outdoor lifestyle and like hunting, skiing, or any other we wear proper clothing and gear and obey the rules.

Twenty years ago I used to ride my bike to work early in the morning along rural lanes dodging wild Indian dogs, the occasional coyote, 400 pound hogs and pick up trucks. It was a thrill, but I never got in the way of a motor vehicle.

41 posted on 04/02/2011 8:28:10 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono (My greatest fear is that when I'm gone my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them)
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To: slowhandluke

“Hint back at you, you need the helmet because you aren’t Lance Armstrong or Evel Knievel. The helmet isn’t for speed, it’s mostly for protection.”

I have to agree.
Every day I think I should have some kind of hard hat, such as the one I wore when ridding horses.
I would not be caught dead in one of those fruity bicycle helmets, even though I might be one day.

Where I live, there are no stop lights or even stop signs.
At four ways, It is catch as catch can.
After dark is quite a fright, with poor street lighting.
I do not worry so much about cars as I do other bicycles, pedestrians and tricycle cabs, which also have no lights.


42 posted on 04/02/2011 8:28:37 PM PDT by AlexW
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To: cripplecreek

Nice.


43 posted on 04/02/2011 8:30:31 PM PDT by sheana
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To: cripplecreek

So who mows the street, you or the village?


44 posted on 04/02/2011 8:35:30 PM PDT by Rebelbase
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To: fso301

yeh, something VERY odd about some dude parading around in skintight spankex showing off his 1” pee-pee. WEIRD and gross.


45 posted on 04/02/2011 8:36:22 PM PDT by Hammerhead
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To: OddLane


The SmartBike program (a well-publicized urban bike rental scheme) seems to be a major FAIL in Washington DC. At work, I've been watching the same 20 bikes across the street rust away for months. This ain't Amsterdam.
46 posted on 04/02/2011 8:37:14 PM PDT by Thrownatbirth (.....Iraq Invasion fan since '91.)
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To: OddLane
Send 'em to China to ride for a month. If they survive they can take their chances in American traffic.

VIDEO

47 posted on 04/02/2011 8:38:32 PM PDT by Bernard Marx
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To: All

I know this has been posted before but some may have missed it.

Behold, the vision for our future. (By insane commie libs)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7rCAYkoMT0


48 posted on 04/02/2011 8:41:47 PM PDT by wheresmyusa (FTUN)
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To: pnh102; sickoflibs; DakotaRed; Cobra64; BenKenobi; cripplecreek; Tublecane; JPG; JABit; ...
If cyclists want to make use of the roads then they should be made to pay for them like those of us who drive do.

A BIG tax on bikes - liberal elites hit us up with taxes all the time...

Turn about's fair play...

49 posted on 04/02/2011 8:43:34 PM PDT by GOPJ (http://hisz.rsoe.hu/alertmap/index2.php - It's only uncivil when someone on the right does it.- Laz)
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To: AlexW

I hate wearing helmets because they don’t have a visor and I get the glare over my sunglasses. Much prefer a baseball cap with a visor, but I know I’m risking my noggin every time I go out on my bike. My biggest fear is the college-age women who are yapping on their cell phones and looking to the left as they run right through a stop sign and will turn right into you. I keep outta da way of those dingbats if I can and prefer to stay on the canal pathways versus the roads. But even on the canals, you have to cross with the cars at intersections.


50 posted on 04/02/2011 8:44:31 PM PDT by ponygirl
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