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First Homosexual Caveman Found
The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | April 6, 2011 | None Listed

Posted on 04/10/2011 5:26:30 AM PDT by Scoutmaster

First Homosexual Caveman Found

Archaeologists have unearthed the 5,000-year-old remains of what they believe may have been the world's oldest known gay caveman.

Archeologists believe they have discovered a 'transsexual' or 'third gender grave' in the Czech Republic.

The male body – said to date back to between 2900-2500BC – was discovered buried in a way normally reserved only for women of the Corded Ware culture in the Copper Age.

The skeleton was found in a Prague suburb in the Czech Republic with its head pointing eastwards and surrounded by domestic jugs, rituals only previously seen in female graves.

"From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake," said lead archaeologist Kamila Remisova Vesinova.

"Far more likely is that he was a man with a different sexual orientation, homosexual or transsexual," she added.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: History; Humor; Science; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: alreadyposted; anthropology; archaeology; caveman; gaystapo; godsgravesglyphs; homofascists; homosexual
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I don't know which direction to go with.

Do I go with this:

The way the archaeologists "believe they have discovered" and "highly unlikely . . . it was a mistake" and "far more likely" but the journalist turns that into the definitive "First Homosexual Caveman FOUND!" by the time the headline's written?

Do I go with:

The way the archaeologists say "well, we haven't seen this before, so let's think of our options. A period when men were buried with jugs? No. Maybe the direction of burial wasn't that important? Nope. Maybe criminals or bad guys were buried this way to rob them of their manhood? Nope. Wait! I've got it. Listen up: He was . . . transgendered or gay! That's the only academically sound answer."

Or, do I go with the cheap shots:

Gotta be transgendered. Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble both wore dresses.

Gay, perhaps. But I'll bet he had the best-decorated cave in the neighborhood.

A cruel twist of nature's fate; gay, yet born before Judy Garland records.

'Corded War culture'? Thank goodness. No self-respecting gay caveman would show his face during the Tupperware culture.

1 posted on 04/10/2011 5:26:31 AM PDT by Scoutmaster
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To: Scoutmaster

listening to Judy Garrock records and smokin’ his winstons..

2 posted on 04/10/2011 5:34:02 AM PDT by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: Scoutmaster

Come on, man!

3 posted on 04/10/2011 5:37:39 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Scoutmaster

They try too hard to spread the fable. Like the book of Hebrews says, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen.


4 posted on 04/10/2011 5:40:04 AM PDT by Colonel Kangaroo
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To: Scoutmaster

If they buried him as a woman then that is a statement that he was not a normal man.

And the normal men would not be happy to have the homosexual buried with them.


5 posted on 04/10/2011 5:40:15 AM PDT by Berlin_Freeper
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To: Vaquero

"We'll have a gay old time...."

6 posted on 04/10/2011 5:43:20 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: Scoutmaster

Journalist shows his gay agenda,no big deal most are anyway.


7 posted on 04/10/2011 5:44:48 AM PDT by Vaduz
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To: Scoutmaster

"He was gay alright, he helped me decorate my first cave".

8 posted on 04/10/2011 5:46:01 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed, and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Vaquero

Well the last line of the Flintstone song says.....

“Well have a gay old time”!


9 posted on 04/10/2011 5:47:04 AM PDT by digger48
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To: Scoutmaster
Archaeologists and reporters are a bad mix.

Creating the definitive from the vague is their specialty.

They likely haven’ discovered enough graves to know anything statistically valid, just a few anecdotal findings, from which absolutes are hypothesized. Then that hypothesis is presented as a fact.

The underlying problem with archaeologists is a need to pretend that they actually know concrete things, when a dozen or more alternative explanations always exist. After 20 years, these pseudo facts become the concrete basis for even more fanciful ideas based on deductive logic of “if A+B=C then Cx32= 564. All without any real proof of what A and B were.

Archaeologists have a natural urge to play “if you accept my wild theory, then I'll accept yours”, because otherwise they are just an un-unified field of guessers, who can't really ever say much of anything to answer the question “Why?”. In this case, it could be any number of things. A slave, a mistake, direction based eye color versus sex, etc.

10 posted on 04/10/2011 5:51:02 AM PDT by SampleMan (If all of the people currently oppressed shared a common geography, bullets would already be flying.)
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To: Scoutmaster
Homosexual Caveman

This is really, really exciting.

Michelle can finally drop the masquerade.

11 posted on 04/10/2011 5:51:17 AM PDT by bigheadfred (Beat me, Bite me...Make Me Write Bad Checks)
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To: digger48

He was probably buried in that manner as some sort of eternal punishment for some crime or other. Probably being homosexual was the worst thing his culture could think of.


12 posted on 04/10/2011 5:51:26 AM PDT by hal ogen (1st amendment or reeducation camp?)
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To: Scoutmaster

So easy a caveman could do him.


13 posted on 04/10/2011 5:53:05 AM PDT by ItsForTheChildren
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To: Scoutmaster

Interesting find. Ridiculous conclusions.


14 posted on 04/10/2011 5:55:07 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: Scoutmaster

Must have had fossilized bowels?


15 posted on 04/10/2011 5:56:52 AM PDT by Sir Francis Dashwood (Arjuna, why have you have dropped your bow???)
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To: Scoutmaster

Did they find a gerbil skeleton in the pelvis?


16 posted on 04/10/2011 6:00:48 AM PDT by hattend (Obama got his 3am call about Egypt. The call went right to the answering machine.- Sarah Palin)
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To: Scoutmaster

Homo Erectus?


17 posted on 04/10/2011 6:04:57 AM PDT by The_Sword_of_Groo (<=== Proudly resides in occupied Georgia)
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To: Scoutmaster

These people have become great spinners of political yarns for propaganda purposes. It’s gotten so pervasive that I’ve taken to calling it political science.

They have skeletal remains buried with certain articles that have been known to indicate that the deceased was regarded as female. I presume genetic testing indicates the presence of the Y chromosome. There are several birth defects or genetic disorders that would have caused this individual to present outwardly as female from birth.

That is the assumption that is most likely, given the absence of other indications. But, noooo, it doesn’t further any modern-day leftist groupthink agendas. So, we get this fantastical tale of homosexual cavemen.


18 posted on 04/10/2011 6:09:03 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Scoutmaster
How do they know the skeleton was male? Usually they determine it from the hip and thigh bones, but occasionally nature throws a curve ball if the mother's hormones are messed up during pregnancy or you get a kid with XXY sex chromosomes instead of just XX or XY.
19 posted on 04/10/2011 6:09:09 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! Tea Party extremism is a badge of honor.)
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To: Scoutmaster
"First Homosexual Caveman Found"

And here is a more recent homosexual caveman:


20 posted on 04/10/2011 6:10:36 AM PDT by Brilliant
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: Scoutmaster

Another one? This is like the 3rd one in as many days. Becoming an epidemic.


22 posted on 04/10/2011 6:12:22 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (FR Class of 1998 | TV News is an oxymoron. | MSNBC = Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap.)
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To: Scoutmaster

23 posted on 04/10/2011 6:12:44 AM PDT by paulycy (Islamo-Marxism is Evil.)
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To: Scoutmaster

More postmortem Sodomite discoveries when the deceased can’t defend themselves.

Those who practice perversion love to hijack history in order to justify their filth...see Abraham Lincoln, Michael Angelo and Jesus Christ himself.


24 posted on 04/10/2011 6:18:57 AM PDT by Clint N. Suhks (You go to war with the President you have Not the President you wish you had. D Rumsfeld)
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To: digger48
“Well have a gay old time”!

And the song "Deck the Halls" incourages wearing gay clothes........

25 posted on 04/10/2011 6:19:08 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Our technology has surpassed our humanity........AE)
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To: Keith in Iowa

It’s a real Stone Age Stonewall, ain’t it?

I blame Geico ads. Those prehistoric prisses have singlehandedly altered the trajectory of paleoarchaeology.

What that says about the limited imaginations of paleoarchaeologists themselves is another matter. If they’re going to present speculation as concrete fact, I greatly prefer Bedrock and The Flintstones, myself.

Maybe they just dug up Fred’s mother-in-law. She was a real battleaxe.


26 posted on 04/10/2011 6:21:10 AM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Scoutmaster
And folks wonder why so many are so willing to question "science".

Wondering is one thing, making statements of probability is another.

'twould be a great thing if scientists and politicians alike would hold true to the principles that they claim to hold so dear.

27 posted on 04/10/2011 6:26:23 AM PDT by trebb ("If a man will not work, he should not eat" From 2 Thes 3)
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To: Scoutmaster
She added that Siberian shamans, or latter-day witch doctors, were also buried in this way but with richer funeral accessories to appropriate to their elevated position in society. "But this later discovery was neither of those, leading us to believe the man was probably homosexual

Maybe he was a bad witch doctor. Or a brewer, or a pottery maker, or maybe he just played video games in another part of the cave...

What was in the jugs? That might shed some light on the whole thing.

Whatever it was, I am sure it was 'of great religious significance'...

Maybe the carcas of a homosexual caveman in the 'Corded War Culture' would not have been buried at all, but left for the scavengers to drag away.

28 posted on 04/10/2011 6:27:43 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
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To: Scoutmaster
A period when men were buried with jugs?

Well, if he liked jugs, he couldn't have been completely gay. Maybe he was just bi-sexual ;)


29 posted on 04/10/2011 6:31:52 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (A communist is just a liberal in a hurry)
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To: central_va
Wow.... David Lee Roth has not aged well :-)....
30 posted on 04/10/2011 6:34:46 AM PDT by taildragger (( Palin / Mulally 2012 ))
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To: Scoutmaster

I call BS on this claim of “first homosexual cavemen” found/discovered. Evidence of more junk science and the BS conclusions it comes to. =.=


31 posted on 04/10/2011 6:38:47 AM PDT by cranked
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To: cranked

The real proof would mean they had found another “homosexual”. You can’t have a pitcher without a catcher.


32 posted on 04/10/2011 6:54:40 AM PDT by P3_Acoustic
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To: Scoutmaster; All
I mis-typed. He was from the "Corded Ware culture", not the "Corded WAR culture." Hence, my bad joke about "Tupperware."

I agree with Berlin Freeper than there's a strong likelihood that this individual was different and, therefore, he was buried differently.

However, he may have been buried this was in shame because he committed suicide, which wasn't 'manly.'

Or he was a potter.

Or he showed cowardice in battle.

Or he was a shaman or priest.

Or he was the cultural story-teller.

We must speculate at the reason that his burial was different. We can't simply say "yep, he was transexual or gay. That's the answer."

Remember how many things we were taught about dinosaurs based upon the discovery of bone fragments? And all the arguments of the last twenty years that also seem to be speculation that go against those first 'facts' we were taught?

Nobody know which speculation to believe.

In the next article on this caveman, we're going to hear that they found a round-ish talisman with a hole in it in the grave. Signifying that he wore it around his neck on a strand of leather, making it his prize possession. And there appears to be a line on the talisman that makes it look like a pumpkin - am American vegetable - WHICH IS POSITIVE PROOF THAT THERE WAS A TRADE ROUTE FROM THE AMERICAS TO CZECHOSLOVAKIA IN 2,500 BC!

33 posted on 04/10/2011 6:59:53 AM PDT by Scoutmaster (You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.)
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To: Scoutmaster

Oh you thilly thavage! LOL


34 posted on 04/10/2011 7:00:48 AM PDT by VRW Conspirator (It's the end of the world as we know it. And I feel fine. - R.E.M.)
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To: cranked
I call BS on this claim of “first homosexual cavemen” found/discovered.

I call BS also.

You see, my gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg (pause for breath) ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg (wheeze) gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg (just a second) gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg (whew) ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg (gulp) gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg . . . okay, just add a bunch more 'greats'- grandfather Klunga Scoutmaster was known to be a little light in his fur leggings, and he lived during the "Not-Yet-Ready-To-Be-Corded-Ware" Age, over 750 years before this caveman. And granddaddy Kluga had a 'special friend.'

So "third homosexual caveman' found/discovered", maybe. But not the first.

I'm just saying.

35 posted on 04/10/2011 7:24:31 AM PDT by Scoutmaster (You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.)
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To: Brilliant

Looks like a mug shot.


36 posted on 04/10/2011 7:45:59 AM PDT by murron (Proud Mom of a Marine Vet)
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To: Scoutmaster

“And so , my friends, what better way to honor Ooog than to bury him with the symbols of the jugs he so loved in life.”


37 posted on 04/10/2011 7:52:22 AM PDT by Adder (Part 1 Accomplished)
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To: Vaquero
listening to Judy Garrock records and smokin’ his winstons..

I don't know how you came up with that picture in eight minutes, but my hat is off to you.

In fact, for the next month my "QuickDraw" folder - full of photos I just KNOW will come in handy - is going to be renamed "Vaquero."

And my friend, I know of no higher honor.

38 posted on 04/10/2011 8:10:26 AM PDT by Scoutmaster (You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.)
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To: Adder

Maybe he just had a big old empty jug of a head like Joy Behar.


39 posted on 04/10/2011 8:14:21 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Scoutmaster

This is actually the grave of the first known caveman comedian, Shecky Ungung. “Bury me with some jugs and stuff and it’ll drive people crazy in 5,000 years!” British newspaper...British comedian, and everyone knows that British humor centers around men wearing women’s clothes. Benny Hill made a fortune doing it. He’d have been buried with a rubber chicken, but, well, they hadn’t invented rubber by then. Check to see if there’s one of those hand buzzers in the grave.


40 posted on 04/10/2011 8:20:28 AM PDT by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: Scoutmaster

Maybe the person who buried him had only buried a woman before by whatever cultural norm existed before culture.

Or maybe the people who buried him buried men and women the same way and any different burials found had nothing to do with sex.


41 posted on 04/10/2011 8:28:03 AM PDT by Cvengr (Adversity in life and death is inevitable. Thru faith in Christ, stress is optional.)
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To: Scoutmaster
She said that archeologists had uncovered an earlier case dating from the Mesolithic period where a female warrior was buried as a man.

So a man buried in the position usually arranged for a woman is gay, but a woman buried as a man is a warrior.

Reminds me of a find where some excavated ruins were determined to be a temple, filled with odd and exotic, unfathomable religious artifacts. Later excavations proved it was just a mess hall, and the strange relics merely tableware.

42 posted on 04/10/2011 10:11:21 AM PDT by dorothy ( "When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes duty." - Thomas Jefferson)
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To: Vaquero

“I love what you’ve done with this cave.”


43 posted on 04/10/2011 12:49:01 PM PDT by Macrinus
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To: dorothy
Awww. Now some scientists are raining on the Gay Caveman parade. FR post right here.
44 posted on 04/11/2011 1:46:51 AM PDT by Scoutmaster (You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.)
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To: Scoutmaster

And a new scientific study comes into being...

Queerchaeology...

Don’t think I will be buying that magazine...


45 posted on 04/11/2011 1:52:48 AM PDT by djf (Dems and liberals: Let's redefine "marriage". We already redefined "natural born citizen".)
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To: hattend

Too funny!!


46 posted on 04/11/2011 5:59:44 AM PDT by SMARTY (Conforming to non-conformity is conforming just the same.)
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To: The_Sword_of_Groo

Probably more like Homo-Recepticus.


47 posted on 04/11/2011 5:04:21 PM PDT by irishtenor (Everything in moderation, however, too much whiskey is just enough... Mark Twain)
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Thanks Scoutmaster.

Already posted at least twice.

Just adding to the catalog, not sending a general distribution.

To all -- please ping me to other topics which are appropriate for the GGG list.
 

· History topic · history keyword · archaeology keyword · paleontology keyword ·
· Science topic · science keyword · Books/Literature topic · pages keyword ·


48 posted on 04/12/2011 7:48:46 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Thanks Cincinna for this link -- http://www.friendsofitamar.org)
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To: Vaquero

I have a question.

How do we know this is the first homosexual cavemam?


49 posted on 04/13/2011 3:29:10 PM PDT by Jonty30
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To: Jonty30

“How do we know this is the first homosexual cavemam?”

hey, the reporter SAID so, what more do you want?!? It’s in print, they wouldn’t LIE? Would they?

/S


50 posted on 04/13/2011 4:13:08 PM PDT by Old Student
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