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Who lets an infant cry?
Moms & Dads blog ^ | April 13, 2011 | Joy Oglesby

Posted on 04/16/2011 7:33:22 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby

A coworker came back from a trip to the coffee shop steaming mad. Here's Sarah's story:

I'm meeting my husband at Starbucks today for a quick coffee and while in line I smile and coo at a 5-month-old boy in line ahead of me who was with his father and brother, a toddler.

When I get to the concession stand I hear the baby start to make those familiar hunger sounds, that “eh eh eh” sound I know all too well because I have a 4-month-old and 2-year-old.

By the time I am mixing my fifth sugar packet into the coffee the baby is crying. I turn to see that the father is done mixing his own drink well and he is in business discussion with an associate. He’s holding his happy toddler but not even acknowledging the crying baby in the stroller.

I sit down with my husband and the cry escalates to a blood-curdling scream. As a mom I can’t stand to hear the cry. All I can think about is walking over and swooping the baby into my arms. My husband is even wincing, not because the scream is painful but because we know it could have been prevented if the dad was just paying attention.

A man sitting beside us hears what we're talking about it so he joins in. He tells us he is thinking of calling the police because he’s not sure what else will break the father’s attention from his conversation. He says this loudly, hoping the father will hear. He doesn’t.

My husband suggests I do something, so I walk over to offer help. I ask if the baby needs food. The dad takes me up on the offer by handing me his toddler and he starts to make a bottle for the baby. As he does this he continues his conversation with his associate and is distracted so much that even when he’s done making the bottle he doesn’t give it to the baby.

His associate steps in, picks up the bottle and says “are we going to do this?”

The father gives the baby a couple sucks at it, but then takes the bottle away because he decides he doesn’t want to feed him at Starbucks and says to the baby: “You’re not going to like this but let’s go upstairs.”

I hand the toddler back and watch them leave as the baby begins to scream again. I hope he didn’t have to wait much longer, poor thing.

Scenes like this drive me crazy and I’ve witnessed it way too often. An infant cries to communicate and that's even a last resort communication. If you pay attention, infants give you clues as to what they need before the crying begins. Letting a baby cry that long just teaches them that crying is the only form of communication that works and as a result you just get more crying.

In my opinion an infant does not cry to manipulate and it certainly isn’t spoiling to respond to her needs. It’s not the same as when my 2-year-old cries because I won’t let her have ice cream for breakfast.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babies; baby; children; crying; families; family; parenting

1 posted on 04/16/2011 7:33:26 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

At least he didn’t let a dingo he his baby.


2 posted on 04/16/2011 7:38:27 PM PDT by ThomasThomas (I am still looking for that box I am supposed to think out of.)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

How distressing!


3 posted on 04/16/2011 7:38:50 PM PDT by Ciexyz
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby
One of ours had it figured out. He'd start crying 10 minutes BEFORE it was time for his bottle. If you brought the bottle too soon he'd cry even more.

It took us but days to learn his rules.

The father in this story may well have known more about his baby than hapless strangers armed only with good intentions.

5 packets of sugar? 1 cup of coffee? How utterly strange.

4 posted on 04/16/2011 7:39:58 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby
Once I had children, I ceased being able to tolerate a child crying. I HAVE to do something; it's required, like breathing.

Some folks get it; some folks don't. You can always tell who the good fathers will be by how attentive they are during the baby CPR classes. The ones that refuse to put away their blackberries are the kind that will let the baby drowned in the tub because they are too busy with their toys to be dads.

5 posted on 04/16/2011 7:40:10 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Buy Ammo Often)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

Oh for the love of pete!

This is all this idiot has to worry about?


6 posted on 04/16/2011 7:42:55 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

Don’t you wish you had video recorded this? Some day this dad will wonder why Jr. wrecks everything just to get heard.


7 posted on 04/16/2011 7:43:03 PM PDT by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

A pretty typical illustration of people’s priorities. While we cannot possibly know what all that father has on his plate, it is obvious what his 1st priority is - and it isn’t being the father.


8 posted on 04/16/2011 7:47:53 PM PDT by TheBattman (They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature...)
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To: ThomasThomas

That scenario will probably happen soon enough. Look how many parents forget children in the car for a few hours in 80-degree weather.


9 posted on 04/16/2011 7:50:32 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby
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To: muawiyah

The father MAY have known about his baby, but he was torturing everyone around him in a Starbucks. That is inappropriate. If you know your baby is going to cry for 10 minutes BEFORE you feed him....stay in your car until he/she is fed....sheesh.


10 posted on 04/16/2011 7:53:07 PM PDT by goodnesswins (Unlike the West, the Islamic world is serious.)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

You ought to seen the moms that roll their babies through the ‘bargain stores’ during what is the natural ‘nap times’ for babies. The babies are screaming at the top of their lungs and ‘mom’ is getting mad.......which makes it worse.

My friends used to ‘take the piss’ out of me for stopping EVERYTHING I did to stop for ‘nap time’. I didn’t CARE where I was or what I was doing. The babies has a SCHEDULE....full stop. They thrived. (I pat myself on the back, thank you.)


11 posted on 04/16/2011 7:55:53 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Obama's 2012 Slogan: "We've got what it takes, to take what you've got"!)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby
Good Daddy...

Bad Dad....


12 posted on 04/16/2011 7:57:59 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: goodnesswins
People who stand around in Starbucks probably need to be tortured.

Their service lines move with the old K-Mart speed.

13 posted on 04/16/2011 7:59:15 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

I think I know that kid. He’s just a big crybaby.


14 posted on 04/16/2011 8:00:15 PM PDT by Krankor (And he's oh, so good, And he's oh, so fine, And he's oh, so healthy, In his body and his mind)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby
At first, I was alarmed by By the time I am mixing my fifth sugar packet into the coffee... but then I noticed this was happening at a Starbucks, and my cause for alarm was quelled. And had I been in this situation, I would have looked that guy in the face, and sternly said, "Good God man - tend to your child"... and walked away. I've done that before. So far, I've never been assaulted for it.
15 posted on 04/16/2011 8:02:03 PM PDT by Keith in Iowa (FR Class of 1998 | TV News is an oxymoron. | MSNBC = Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap.)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

Some people approve.
Some people will disapprove.
It’s the parent’s call.


16 posted on 04/16/2011 8:04:28 PM PDT by Haiku Guy (If you can read this / (To paraphrase on old line) / Thank a TAXPAYER!.)
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To: Krankor

When my Dad taught me to swim, I thought I was going to drown!
It was hell getting out of that burlap sack.

And those kittens kept scratching me!


17 posted on 04/16/2011 8:05:05 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby
A coworker came back from a trip to the coffee shop...

At least the dad has his children with him. Unlike the blogger and her coworker who, I'll wager, have their little kiddoes tucked away in daycare. It's lots easier to be the perfect parent when you are only doing it part-time.

18 posted on 04/16/2011 8:05:26 PM PDT by elli1
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To: TheWriterTX

You can always tell who the good fathers will be by how attentive they are during the baby CPR classes.
*************************************************

My husband pounded the doll so hard it’s head fell off and went flying across the room.

That might have been a sign.


19 posted on 04/16/2011 8:07:56 PM PDT by kara37
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To: kara37

LoL!


20 posted on 04/16/2011 8:09:31 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: mylife

Since there’s no mention of puppies in that sack, it’s obvious your pop was a kindly man.


21 posted on 04/16/2011 8:11:10 PM PDT by Krankor (And he's oh, so good, And he's oh, so fine, And he's oh, so healthy, In his body and his mind)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

Thanks for posting this! Crying is how a baby communicates. I’m glad when other conservatives understand this.


22 posted on 04/16/2011 8:12:00 PM PDT by Infralutheran
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To: Krankor

He was a fair man, but cruel... ;)


23 posted on 04/16/2011 8:13:34 PM PDT by mylife (OPINIONS ~ $ 1.00 HALFBAKED ~ 50c)
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To: RushIsMyTeddyBear

I thought motion puts babies to sleep, no?


24 posted on 04/16/2011 8:17:30 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby
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To: TheWriterTX

Once I had kids, I found it much easier to tolerate crying children.

Some babies just cry for the slightest of reasons; a child who is hungry isn’t going to die if he has to wait 10 minutes. God forbid the baby is breast-feeding when the father has him out with these folks at Starbucks.


25 posted on 04/16/2011 8:18:04 PM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: armymarinemom

I’m thinking it will be more fun to see the woman’s two kids hopped up on sugar and getting everything they want by even threatening to cry. Although the mother did suggest she ignored her 2-year-old crying for “ice cream”. Maybe if he just asked for Yogurt with 5 packets of sugar.


26 posted on 04/16/2011 8:19:42 PM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

Not if the baby’s mom is fraught and constantly yelling at them for crying.....only making it worse.


27 posted on 04/16/2011 8:20:54 PM PDT by RushIsMyTeddyBear (Obama's 2012 Slogan: "We've got what it takes, to take what you've got"!)
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To: TheBattman

I’ve seen the kids whose parents put them first.


28 posted on 04/16/2011 8:20:54 PM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: muawiyah

“5 packets of sugar? 1 cup of coffee? How utterly strange.”

Probably a venti (20 oz)... and a double shot espresso added. She sounds kind of wound up.


29 posted on 04/16/2011 8:23:29 PM PDT by Kirkwood (Zombie Hunter)
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To: Kirkwood
It's no wonder.
30 posted on 04/16/2011 8:24:52 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: CharlesWayneCT
That was ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST. One does wonder what goes on in her household.

I was just thinking maybe she waves an ice cream cone in front of the kid, takes a lick of it, and then sticks it back into the refrigerator in a bag.

This ol'gal could be a total nut ball.

31 posted on 04/16/2011 8:26:39 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: mylife

But which one is a POPULAR DADDY?!


32 posted on 04/16/2011 8:28:52 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: muawiyah

Okay, so what did you do?

My kid (3 months old) is VERY fussy (lots of crying). My wife says that she has to try to put the breast into his mounth between breaths to get him to stop crying. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t.

He’ll move his head, and then get mad that the breast is no longer in his mouth and start crying again. It’s all pretty frustrating.


33 posted on 04/16/2011 8:32:48 PM PDT by EvilOverlord (Socialism makes workers into slaves and couch potatoes into kings)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

It doesn’t pay to mess with people nowadays.
Good way to get your block knocked off- or worse.
Best way to handle a situation where you see child abuse is call the police.
(I wouldn’t call this abuse- unless it was to the patrons having to put up with the screaming)


34 posted on 04/16/2011 8:35:04 PM PDT by patriot08 (TEXAS GAL- born and bred and proud of it!)
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To: EvilOverlord

Imgine what’s going to go on when he gets teeth!


35 posted on 04/16/2011 8:36:55 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: EvilOverlord
Well, what did we do? Hmm. Beat him I suppose. Nothing worked.

Today he's decades older, and he'll sit down to eat with everyone else and he's not going to eat a bite for 10 minutes.

This was built in.

36 posted on 04/16/2011 8:38:55 PM PDT by muawiyah
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To: CharlesWayneCT

I agree. Once you have kids, it is much easier to tolerate crying children. Oh the relief you feel when you know it is not your kids crying.

My two youngest were breast only babies. They would take nothing less than milk from mom’s breast. Not even pumped milk from a bottle was good enough. Man those kids would scream if they did not have momma.


37 posted on 04/16/2011 8:46:00 PM PDT by bradthebuilder (War is peace; Ignorance is strength; Freedom is slavery)
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To: armymarinemom
Don’t you wish you had video recorded this? Some day this dad will wonder why Jr. wrecks everything just to get heard.

Oh please....the kid will wreck NOTHING because he will have learned that he doesn't run the world....if you ask a question, "no" is a perfectly honest answer. One of the main problems with today's youth is that they were never taught the difference between a child and an adult!!

38 posted on 04/16/2011 8:54:52 PM PDT by terycarl
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

You would think it would be hard to maintain a converstation with a business associate with a screaming baby nearby. Why didn’t he just give the baby the bottle and then keep talking?


39 posted on 04/16/2011 9:05:32 PM PDT by Husker24
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To: TheBattman

At least he didn’t smother him co-sleeping. SO many urban (usually welfare fat) moms are doing this where I live it’s a freaking epidemic and nobody gets charged for anything.


40 posted on 04/16/2011 9:50:20 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: All

Anyone have any thoughts about attachment parenting vs. the let-them-cry-it-out approach?


41 posted on 04/16/2011 10:13:22 PM PDT by TheDingoAteMyBaby
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To: EvilOverlord

“Okay, so what did you do?”

Be patient, my friend, comfort if you can, give yourself a break if you need it.

He is probably colic-y. Which, I don’t think there is a cure.

He will not stay 3, 4, 5 months forever.

This too shall pass.


42 posted on 04/16/2011 10:20:55 PM PDT by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

I advocate a healthy balance.

Hold your baby. It won’t kill them or kill you. You will bond. If you are both happy, it is well.

If you need a break, take one, of course making sure baby is safe. Don’t let them cry overlong, but, they can cry once in a while for a while.

I don’t think you can spoil them too easily. You are building a relationship. You can pretty much tell what is working and what is not.


43 posted on 04/16/2011 10:23:17 PM PDT by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
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To: Persevero

Maybe test the child for Celiac Disease....which simply means remove all Glutten from his diet.. My son was as this but was not until two years ago, as an adult, we learned he has Celiac Disease. In Europe all babies are tested for this.


44 posted on 04/16/2011 10:31:44 PM PDT by caww
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To: terycarl
Oh please....the kid will wreck NOTHING because he will have learned that he doesn't run the world..

4 months is a bit young to attempt to teach a kid they don't run the world. Sitting in a coffee shop is not a reason to ignore hunger in an infant. Driving a car until you can stop is another story. If he always ignores true needs the kid will get his attention down the road.

45 posted on 04/17/2011 4:28:32 AM PDT by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghan Honor Roll students.)
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To: caww
There are different tests to use for this. The one that merely evaluates the level of the LgE antibodies will fail to provide information in babies without LgE antibodies ~ which is one of those conditions that kind of goes along with it.

There's a very good genetic (DNA) test developed and used in Scandinavia, but it has a lot of false positives.

Here's your clue ~ you feed the baby cream of wheat ~ stuff happens within half an hour ~ and you'll know what.

Cream of rice will not have the same effect.

Once you are aware the kid has a problem, you should be able to head off "failure to thrive".

46 posted on 04/17/2011 7:17:43 AM PDT by muawiyah
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To: muawiyah

>>>5 packets of sugar? 1 cup of coffee? How utterly strange.

This was Starbucks. Got to distract oneself the burnt taste with something.


47 posted on 04/17/2011 9:49:25 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (FR Class of 1998 | TV News is an oxymoron. | MSNBC = Moonbats Spouting Nothing But Crap.)
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To: armymarinemom
months is a bit young to attempt to teach a kid they don't run the world

nonsense, when do you suggest one start training a child??? We have three wonderful sons, all sucessful in business, and all three with good personalities. They learned early on that they had been "invited" to join the family and that they did not run the show (not in those words of course). They were respectful of their elders (still ar) and their families are being raised the same way. Great kids!!!

48 posted on 04/18/2011 2:48:31 PM PDT by terycarl
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To: TheDingoAteMyBaby

A five month old, on a good schedule and routine, is usually a “good” baby. Generally, they are past that colicly stage.

All that crying was likely soooooo unnecessary.

By the way, even the tiniest infants can be trained in a gentle manner. I will give three examples:

1) I had a business in my home. We lived on the upstairs and the business was on the ground floor. When my children were just newborns, I would lay them on a blanket in the middle of the floor. When they cried, their babysitter would immediately take them upstairs and take care of their needs. I was **amazed** at how quickly they learned to be quiet and pleasant,...and...STAY on the blanket! They really did prefer to be around the people in the office, watching the activities going on there.

2) Immediately after the babies were born, when they woke up at night, I didn’t sing, talk, and play with them. I used the minimum light needed to get them comfortable and fed, and I did NOT talk to them. They quickly learned that it was far more interesting to be awake during the day and asleep at night.

3) Some of the women in my church will take a baby out of the services if they are crying. They will take care of their needs but again they don’t talk or play with them. They give the baby something very **boring** to look at ( like a wall). The infants soon learn that being quiet and with the rest of the family is more interesting than looking a blank wall.


49 posted on 04/18/2011 3:07:56 PM PDT by wintertime
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