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OBL's Last Words Contest
MyDiseasedBrain ^ | May 4, 2011 | Vanity

Posted on 05/04/2011 10:09:28 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets

Please submit your entry in the OBL's last words contest. Winners will be selected at COB 6-Jumada-Al-Thani, 1432, Mecca time. Peace be on you.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: feedthefish
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"Honey, I'm going to feed the fish ..."

"Careful where you point that thing, someone could lose an eye."

"Do you know who I am?"

"Osama Bin Laden? No, can't say I've ever heard of him."

"I'll get the door."

"Who called for a helicopter?

1 posted on 05/04/2011 10:09:34 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“It’s Bush’s Fault!”

I WIN!!!


2 posted on 05/04/2011 10:11:14 AM PDT by Kartographer (".. we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.")
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Osama’s final text message:

“brb, sum1’s @ the door”


3 posted on 05/04/2011 10:11:17 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (PAVE THE PLANET!!)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Osama’s final text message:

“brb, sum1’s @ the door”


4 posted on 05/04/2011 10:11:25 AM PDT by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (PAVE THE PLANET!!)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Honey, get the door, I think the pizza guy’s here......


5 posted on 05/04/2011 10:12:07 AM PDT by Hot Tabasco (It's a beautiful day and I'm glad I can see it in color.......)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

No you a$$ hole Im Billy F. Gibbons


6 posted on 05/04/2011 10:12:28 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom!!! <sarc>)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Allah Fubar!


7 posted on 05/04/2011 10:12:33 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Get the door! It’s Dominos!!


8 posted on 05/04/2011 10:13:25 AM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (“Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and never succeed. (Proverbs 12:24)”)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Look, if this is about the goat.. it was consensual!”

“I was going to donate to the FReepathon in the morning!”


9 posted on 05/04/2011 10:13:25 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

10 posted on 05/04/2011 10:13:33 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Mrs. Usama: Good night and see you in the morning.

Usama: Insha’Allah


11 posted on 05/04/2011 10:13:56 AM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Allah Ak...........what the f......?!?!?!


12 posted on 05/04/2011 10:14:31 AM PDT by rickomatic
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Honey, just stand in front of me. I guarantee they will not shoot with a woman shielding me. Hey baby. When have I been wrong before?”


13 posted on 05/04/2011 10:14:38 AM PDT by Lazlo in PA (Now living in a newly minted Red State.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Is that you George???


14 posted on 05/04/2011 10:14:59 AM PDT by way2cool01
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“I’ll take waterboarding for $500, please?”


15 posted on 05/04/2011 10:15:20 AM PDT by blackdog (The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

The same two words universally used by men facing an impossible and dire situation:

“Oh shit!”


16 posted on 05/04/2011 10:15:23 AM PDT by Ole Okie (++++++)
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To: Kartographer

Second runner up:”I really ought to donate to the FReepathon.”

Third runner up: “First Play Station Network goes out and now this!”

Fourth: “Someone’s at the door I hope it isn’t those pesky Jehovah Witness again!”


17 posted on 05/04/2011 10:15:48 AM PDT by Kartographer (".. we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.")
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Osama Bin ‘Sealed’.


18 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:01 AM PDT by BigFinn
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Lord Jesus, I repent of all my sins and accept you.......
or
My name is Osama Bin Ladin, and I’m prepared to negotiate (as Sadamm Hussain said when found)


19 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:13 AM PDT by birdsman (NAAWP)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“What was going through my head?”


20 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:47 AM PDT by DaxtonBrown (HARRY: Money Mob & Influence (See my Expose on Reid on amazon.com written by me!))
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To: ShadowAce

ROFLMAO. Is that from Shot-in-the-Facebook?

21 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:47 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

If Osama bin Laden had required three times a week dialysis for failure kidneys back from 2001, how did the 911 mastermind got treaments required to survive? Did they find dialysis equipment in the compound?


22 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:47 AM PDT by hamboy
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To: rickomatic

What’s SEAL pizza?


23 posted on 05/04/2011 10:16:58 AM PDT by reg45
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

His last words were those stamped on the bullet which read, “You have the right to remain silent.”


24 posted on 05/04/2011 10:17:22 AM PDT by Gail Wynand
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Sweetie where did you put my holy martyr vest?

What do you mean you took it to the dry-cleaner?

25 posted on 05/04/2011 10:17:37 AM PDT by AU72
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Stop Calling Me OBAMA
26 posted on 05/04/2011 10:17:44 AM PDT by bmwcyle (It is Satan's fault)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“I am da real slim shady!”


27 posted on 05/04/2011 10:19:17 AM PDT by montyspython (This thread needs more cowbell)
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To: hamboy

I’m sure some wealthy Saudis financed the best doctors and equipment for him.


28 posted on 05/04/2011 10:19:54 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I don’t watch Letterman but the paper I get prints his top 10 list and here it was for

Monday, May 2, 2011
Top Ten Final Words Of Osama bin Laden
10.
“My horoscope says ‘Big surprises are in store’”
9.
“See, this is why I normally don’t answer the door”
8.
“The one time I give my bodyguards a day off to go to the zoo...”
7.
“What on earth could be interrupting ‘Celebrity Apprentice’?”
6.
“I hear Brian Williams is on Dave to discuss my imminent demise”
5.
“At least I’ll be reunited with my dear departed friend Jack LaLanne”
4.
“I’m not sure I want to live in a world where ‘Fast Five’ is the #1 movie”
3.
“Any man with multiple wives welcomes death. Am I right, fellas?”
2.
“I need a house full of Navy SEALs like I need a hole in the head”
1.
“Oh, crap!”


29 posted on 05/04/2011 10:20:19 AM PDT by xp38
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
"Knock knock!"

"Who's there?"

"U.S. Navy SEALs!"

"U.S. Navy SE- ... uh oh ..."

30 posted on 05/04/2011 10:20:19 AM PDT by Steel Wolf ("There are moderate Muslims, but Islam itself is not moderate." - Ibn Warraq)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Alright, time to get my 72 virgins.


31 posted on 05/04/2011 10:20:46 AM PDT by MsLady (Be the kind of woman that when you get up in the morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's UP !!")
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Candygram
32 posted on 05/04/2011 10:20:46 AM PDT by 240B (he is doing everything he said he wouldn't and not doing what he said he would)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“When you read me my rights, please do so in my native language, ok?”

“Do you have a warrant?”

“I demand you let me call my attorney?”

“Jesus Christ! How’d you get in here?”


33 posted on 05/04/2011 10:21:10 AM PDT by Let_It_Be_So
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“But, I have a tee time with President Obama on Tuesday.”


34 posted on 05/04/2011 10:21:49 AM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, democrats believe every day is April 15.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
SEAL.
"SEAL who?"
35 posted on 05/04/2011 10:21:49 AM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Okay, okay, I’ll pay the parking ticket!

I take it that you’re not from Meals on Wheels?

Can you wait just one minute while I comb my beard for the 72 virgins?

Osama who? Oh, he’s the guy next door.

Well, you won’t be getting a Ramadan card this year!

Can you wait just one second while I get my FAT wife to stand behind?


36 posted on 05/04/2011 10:22:18 AM PDT by jda ("Righteousness exalts a nation . . .")
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

The bitch is too skinny.


37 posted on 05/04/2011 10:22:25 AM PDT by Retired Greyhound
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To: montyspython

“I am Spartacus!”

“9/11? Wrong guy. Wasn’t me, I was out getting a pack of smokes.”


38 posted on 05/04/2011 10:23:13 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing its idiot)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

72 virgins, here I come.


39 posted on 05/04/2011 10:23:23 AM PDT by ConservativeStatement (Obama "acted stupidly.")
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To: Kartographer

Where are you taking Me?


40 posted on 05/04/2011 10:24:13 AM PDT by fantom (,)
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41 posted on 05/04/2011 10:25:00 AM PDT by TheOldLady (Almost as evil as the Freeper Criminal Mastermind)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

I’ll go to Gitmo if I am guaranteed my own big screen tv and an unlimited supply of beer.


42 posted on 05/04/2011 10:25:10 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets
نعم، هذا صحيح. بانتظام لدى ممارسة الجنس مع الخنازير
43 posted on 05/04/2011 10:25:25 AM PDT by AmericanInTokyo (FreeRepublic's frontline citizen reporter in Japan (among others). -- AiT)
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To: Ole Okie
The same two words universally used by men facing an impossible and dire situation: “Oh shit!”

First you say it, then you do it.

44 posted on 05/04/2011 10:25:34 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Don’t shoot, or the woman gets it!!”


45 posted on 05/04/2011 10:25:38 AM PDT by tcrlaf (You can only lead a lib to the Truth, you can't make it think...)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

A man walks into a bar, and naturally enough, takes a seat at the bar. The bartender walks up and asks “What’ll you have”. The man says “I’ll have a bin laden”. The bartender, with a mystified look on his face, asks “What’s that”? The man replies “Two shots and a splash of water”.


46 posted on 05/04/2011 10:26:18 AM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Tories in- mission accomplished)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Dave’s not here.”

“Not in the face....Not in the face!!!!”


47 posted on 05/04/2011 10:26:23 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

Booosh


48 posted on 05/04/2011 10:26:35 AM PDT by Freddd (NoPA ngineers.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Aaaaaiiiieeeeeeee!”


49 posted on 05/04/2011 10:26:35 AM PDT by Flag_This (Real presidents don't bow.)
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To: Lonesome in Massachussets

“Someone is at the door. Let me get it. It’s probably the ISI collector again.”


50 posted on 05/04/2011 10:27:40 AM PDT by OrioleFan (Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July, democrats believe every day is April 15.)
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