Skip to comments.Based on Huge Porn Stash Recovered, CIA Believes UBL Acted Alone
Posted on 05/14/2011 12:39:09 PM PDT by Attention Surplus Disorder
Based on Huge Porn Stash Recovered, CIA Believes Bin Laden Acted Alone
Filth Disrupted Terror Plots, Spy Agency Says
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) After seizing an enormous cache of porn from his compound in Pakistan, the CIA said today that it now has a new theory about fallen al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.
Its clear that Osama bin Laden acted alone, said CIA director Leon Panetta. And he spent most of his waking hours doing just that.
Mr. Panetta siad there were still many unanswered questions about Mr. Bin Ladens porn stash, like how he kept it hidden with three wives in the house.
As the CIA spent most of the week removing bin Ladens porn stash, which weighed over nine metric tons, intelligence analysts said they would have to spend many, many days analyzing the trove to determine its true value.
Meanwhile, on Capitol Hill, calls faded for the release of pictures of bin Laden, but there was increased pressure for the release of his extensive porn collection.
I think we all have a right to have access to these materials, said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY). Im just sorry that John Ensign isnt around for this.
As the revelations regarding bin Ladens unquenchable porn appetite came to light, intelligence experts said that porn may have been Americas single most powerful weapon in disrupting terror plots.
Theres no doubt about it, CIA director Panetta said. Porn has kept America safe.
Experts said that this new assessment could result in a Congressional Medal of Honor for Jenna Jameson, who today was named Ambassador to Pakistan.
Satire strikes again- had ME going!
The people in charge of our government are disturbing.
lol. good one!
He spelled 'wanking' wrong.
I hear his vision wasn’t so good anymore.
Oh...THAT kind of pornography. The really disturbing stuff was the video of him watching Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-MO) on CSPAN. Now THAT was sick!
Had to shave his palms before he got the heave ho.
Oh no,I hope the FR HT stiffy slayers don't post her images now!
Larry Flynt would be envious.
The muzzies have a long history with these sorts of things:
A recent reexamination of history in the Middle East by a group of scholars seems to bear out Barack Obamas comments concerning Muslim contributions to science and technology.
It is now known that in 1872, using a goat’s lower intestine, Muslims invented the condom.
In 1873 the British refined the concept by FIRST taking the intestine OUT of the goat.
sleeping with the yememi
debbie does dubai
watching AIR CLAIRE oh my now that is nasty porn. even in Missouri it is not the show me porn.
Three or four wives and he chokes the chicken.
A Facebook “friend” writes that if the CIA really wanted to discredit Osama in the Muslim world, saying that he had a cache of porn wasn’t the best way to do it; instead they should have released “information” that he had a collection of Barbara Streisand videos and obsessionally watched “Yentl.”
I’ll bet the CIA has to examine every scene for hidden communication. Perhaps interview actresses to get their take.
This must be satire, but I do hope that the CIA & DOD are chscking for this:
“Hide files in JPG files
This is a perfect way to hide secret files and messages in an innocent looking JPG file. Try it for yourself; Save the picture below to your harddisk and open it there. When opened, it’ll probably open with the standard image viewer. Now, close the application, right click the JPG file and open it with WinRAR. Can you see the hidden file? How to create such an hidden message on your own, click on “Read more...”
There’s a sub-plot in the movie Middle Men about how the CIA was able to target Al-Qaeda based on their regular online porn viewing habits. That may also have been satire, but it’s funny.
Every one of those is freakin' hilarious!
Thanks I tried to post it as a sperate thread but the mods pulled it in about .5 seconds
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