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THE OFFICIAL LAST FRIDAY EVER BEFORE DOOMSDAY SILLINESS THREAD

Posted on 05/20/2011 8:31:24 AM PDT by Lucky9teen

It's the end of the world as we know it. Apparently.

Harold Camping, the man behind the May 21, 2011, judgement day "campaign" is thoroughly convinced that the day marks the beginning of the end. Then again, he did get it wrong once before.

Their "Undeniable" Proof- (the Caravan reads "The Bible Guarantees It")
By Emily Cheever

I’m not going to lie to you guys but doing this research was less fun and more confusing.  Confusing because most of the infallible proof that they had revolved around numbers.  Numbers, it seems to me, that were just made up to prove fact.  Essentially it’s around the same logic as this:

My name has five letters.

There are four seasons.

5-4=1

1 is the purest number.

Therefore I am the second coming of Christ.

Alright, it might not be that crazy, but it’s almost there.  And keep your panties on people, I do not believe that I’m the second coming of Christ.  Although I do think that turning water into wine would be awesome.  Would it be a fine full bodied Merlot or a crisp Riesling?   

Alright, so the actual numbers.  Keep in mind the numbers that they start off with are all kind of made up- they argue that they got these numbers because God wanted them to receive them around now.  7! Oh sorry, did I startle you?  God was just sending me a number. 

According to the ambassadors, they have discovered that the great flood that Noah had to deal with was 4990 B.C.  In the Bible it also said that God told Noah that he had seven days before the great flood.

Elsewhere in the Bible (2 Peter 3:8) one day to God equals 7000 years to us.  Which was really the whole defense of the Scopes trial and led to some sweet monologin’ in Inherit the Wind.

OK, so 7000 years after 4990 B.C. is 2011.  Then if you add in the leap years and what not it rounds up to May 21st, 2011.  Or something.

So their other proof is going up from the exact date of the crucifixtion, which according to them is April 1st, 33 A.D.  Was that the first April Fools Day joke?  ‘Cause in that case, April Fools should technically be April 3rd, because everyone was all like “Christ is dead!”  and then He was all like “No I ain’t B*tches! April Fools!”  I don’t care if you just found that blasphemous.  Jesus Christ playing pranks is hilarious.  "You're blind! April Fools! Now you can see! LOLz, guys!"

Back to the numbers.  After April 1st, 33 A.D. there are 722,500 days until May 21st.  Why is the number 722,500 important?  It isn’t!  Yay arbitration!

To the folks at Family Radio, the number 722,500 is represented by the equation 5x10x17x5x10x17, which are symbolic numbers.  5 means atonement, 10 means completeness and 17 means heaven.  And then you do that twice?  Hey, why not! 

Then there’s the theory that between April 1st, 33 A.D. and April 1st 2011 is 1,978 years.  Then you multiply that by the number of days in a solar year (365.2422 days) and then add 51 days (because that’s how many days are between April 1st and May 21st) and you get 722,500.  INDISPUTABLE EVIDENCE, PEOPLE!

So anyway, that's the proof that the Bible tells you.   In any case, there's still a chance we're all doomed on Saturday (or at least 2012 for that matter - it's totally going to happen). So there's only one question left to ask.

What would you listen to as humanity came to an end? Hard rock? Classical? Something on the lighter side?

Here's a list of ideas (list yours below):

1. Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture (Finale)

2. R.E.M. - It's The End Of The World

3. Paula Cole - I Don't Want To Wait (Dawson's Creek Opening Titles)

4. Europe - The Final Countdown

5. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Death Is Not The End

6. Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing (From Armageddon)

7. Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter

8. Metallica - Four Horsemen

9. The Doors - The End

10. Van Halen - Runnin' With The Devil

11. AC/DC- Highway To Hell Music

12. Skeeter Davis - The End Of The World

13. U2 - Until The End Of The World

14. Muse - Apocalypse Please

15. Elvis Costello - Waiting For The End Of The World

16. Morrissey - Everyday Is Like Sunday

17. Talking Heads - Nothin' But Flowers

18. Bright Eyes - Four Winds
 
19. Prince - 1999

20. The Clash - London Calling

21. Britney Spears - Till The World Ends









These four older ladies who lived in Yugoslavia always sat outside together near the church and chatted about when they were younger. One month ago they pooled their money together and bought a laptop.



Never having been, but having heard all about Florida, they just happened to click on St. Augustine, FL. They read about the "Fountain of Youth" claimed by the Spaniards when they arrived there. They collected up all they had left and sent for four bottles of the water. As soon as it arrived, they drank as directed.

The rest of this story will make you a believer, because here they are today...................

No......This is TRUE! Really! Would We lie to you?

We have a limited supply of this water
Available at an incredibly low price of just $1,499.95 a bottle.
Seriously ...

HURRY BEFORE THE INVENTORY RUNS OUT!!!!
Make checks payable to:

Democratic National Committee






Click here for the Doomsday Code


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: doomsday; friday; may21; ofst
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A gas station on Columbia's North Main Street has been renamed and redecorated after President Obama.

1 posted on 05/20/2011 8:31:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen

Not a good day to run late. We’ve only got 30 hours to get everything done.


2 posted on 05/20/2011 8:32:27 AM PDT by Pan_Yan
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To: Lucky9teen

In!


3 posted on 05/20/2011 8:32:32 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (The USSR spent itself into bankruptcy and collapsed -- and aren't we on the same path now?)
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To: Lucky9teen
The score to this clip (Lalo Schifrin's "Tiger Tank") should remind you of another tank rolling through the small French town of Clermont. Fitting for Doomsday.

(ps – there’s an f-bomb dropped here.)

http://www.kontraband.com/videos/26815/Cats-In-Tanks/#show

4 posted on 05/20/2011 8:32:53 AM PDT by Sax
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To: Lucky9teen

IBTP


5 posted on 05/20/2011 8:32:56 AM PDT by verga (I am not an apologist, I just play one on Television)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

Well, best be prepared, if this is the end...

FOR SOME

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


Your Last Words:

6 posted on 05/20/2011 8:33:33 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Jobs? Nope! Economy? Nope! Disarm the U.S? Yep! Impeach the treasonous Marxist Muslim usurper bast)
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To: Lucky9teen

top 10?


7 posted on 05/20/2011 8:33:53 AM PDT by archaicoldschool (.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Oversleep?
8 posted on 05/20/2011 8:34:16 AM PDT by starlifter (Pullum sapit)
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To: Lucky9teen

In top 10!


9 posted on 05/20/2011 8:34:26 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Lucky9teen

TGIF!!!


10 posted on 05/20/2011 8:34:53 AM PDT by Currentriverrat (Stop cap and trade fraud.)
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To: ClearCase_guy
If we are still here after the big event, they'll claim that they got the month wrong... it is really next month June 21st. Lol.
11 posted on 05/20/2011 8:37:00 AM PDT by dhs12345
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To: Lucky9teen

WE’RE DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!


12 posted on 05/20/2011 8:37:35 AM PDT by kevkrom (Palin's detractors now resort to "nobody believes she can win because nobody believes she can win")
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To: Lucky9teen

13 posted on 05/20/2011 8:39:22 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Steak is back on the menu!


14 posted on 05/20/2011 8:39:46 AM PDT by matt1234 (Dreams from My Father II: Alien Sex Files)
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To: Lucky9teen

Aren’t we supposed to be drinking all day today and tonight?


15 posted on 05/20/2011 8:40:16 AM PDT by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: starlifter

No...usually I send the OFST (html) home so I can post it from my home right when I wake up.

I forgot to email it this week, so I had to wait until I got into work to post. Sorry guys....


16 posted on 05/20/2011 8:40:49 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Jobs? Nope! Economy? Nope! Disarm the U.S? Yep! Impeach the treasonous Marxist Muslim usurper bast)
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To: Red_Devil 232

With Obama’s proclamation yesterday I’m somewhat concerned.


17 posted on 05/20/2011 8:42:10 AM PDT by Scythian
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To: OB1kNOb

Top 10!!!! SWEET!!!


18 posted on 05/20/2011 8:42:30 AM PDT by EnigmaticAnomaly ("Mantra of the left: 'It's only okay when WE do it.'")
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To: Lucky9teen

19 posted on 05/20/2011 8:42:30 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Pan_Yan

What time tomorrow?


20 posted on 05/20/2011 8:42:47 AM PDT by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: OB1kNOb

Damn! :-(


21 posted on 05/20/2011 8:43:16 AM PDT by EnigmaticAnomaly ("Mantra of the left: 'It's only okay when WE do it.'")
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To: matt1234
Remember to clean the house, and put on clean underwear! Don't want the looters to think you were a slob. ;-)
22 posted on 05/20/2011 8:43:23 AM PDT by SubMareener (Save us from Quarterly Freepathons! Become a MONTHLY DONOR!)
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To: Lucky9teen

23 posted on 05/20/2011 8:44:36 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Lucky9teen

24 posted on 05/20/2011 8:45:52 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Lucky9teen
Finally....a WalMart shopper to be proud of.


25 posted on 05/20/2011 8:46:11 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (It's not the Obama Administration....it's the "Obama Regime".)
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To: Jayster

(((ping)))


26 posted on 05/20/2011 8:46:48 AM PDT by Heartlander (You are either the doer, or the dude)
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To: Lucky9teen

27 posted on 05/20/2011 8:47:04 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Lucky9teen

On a road through a desert in Arizona, a preacher named Nathaniel Evans walked every day, preaching to the many people who roared past in their cars.
“Repent, the End of the World is Nigh!” was his constant theme.
One day, as he was walking, he came to a big lever in the middle of nowhere, just by the side of the road. ‘Pull this to end the world’ said the sign on it.
Now Nathaniel saw this as the perfect spot for him to preach, and soon many automobiles were parked nearby, the people all swayed by his powerful elocution.
All was well, until there were so many people, and so many cars, that the road was nearly blocked. Then a big 18-wheel rig came down the highway, and couldn’t stop in time. The driver had a choice: run over Nathaniel, or run over the Lever.
As the driver explained to the Highway Patrol later, he actually had no choice. Pointing to the red smear on the road that used to be Nathaniel Evans, he said “Better Nate than Lever.”


28 posted on 05/20/2011 8:47:07 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

For tonight: Eve of Destruction http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ki2xMUsv-y8


29 posted on 05/20/2011 8:48:27 AM PDT by kevkrom (Palin's detractors now resort to "nobody believes she can win because nobody believes she can win")
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To: OB1kNOb

Not really silly, but the first time I ever heard REM’s song was in my first year of architecture grad school moments before we were to turn in our projects for critique. Needless to say, the crits did not go well.


30 posted on 05/20/2011 8:49:43 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

My little dog was chewing on somthing out in the back yard.
I went out and saw it was a shingle.
I said, “What are you eating?”
He replied, “Roof”
Realizing my dog had grasped the English language, I asked him, “When will Jesus return?”
He replied, “No one but our Father in heaven knows the date or time, it could happen in the next second or in one thousand years.”
I said to him, “My faith is Christ remains as always. I am ready. Let God’s will be done.”
He said, “Mine too, but can I have another dog cookie for being honest?”
I gave him one.


31 posted on 05/20/2011 8:51:20 AM PDT by Nonsense Unlimited
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To: Lucky9teen

Isaiah 26:19 (KJV) Thy dead [men] shall live, [together with] my dead body shall they arise.
Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew [is as] the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.

Zombie warning level: RED


32 posted on 05/20/2011 8:52:12 AM PDT by tumblindice
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To: Lucky9teen

Before I got to your list of songs, the first one to come to mind was Gimme Shelter.


33 posted on 05/20/2011 8:52:20 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: OB1kNOb

34 posted on 05/20/2011 8:52:45 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Jobs? Nope! Economy? Nope! Disarm the U.S? Yep! Impeach the treasonous Marxist Muslim usurper bast)
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To: Lucky9teen

35 posted on 05/20/2011 8:55:09 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Lucky9teen

Blue Oyster Cult — Don’t Fear the Reaper


36 posted on 05/20/2011 8:55:52 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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To: Lucky9teen

37 posted on 05/20/2011 8:55:57 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: Lucky9teen

38 posted on 05/20/2011 8:57:18 AM PDT by OB1kNOb (The stench of dependency is a sickening smell. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.)
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To: Hoffer Rand
Blue Oyster Cult — Don’t Fear the Reaper

I've always thought that song needed a little more of something, but I can't figure out exactly what...

39 posted on 05/20/2011 8:57:26 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: Pan_Yan
We’ve only got 30 hours to get everything done.

How do we know it's 30 hours? Do we know what time zone this is kicking off in? Is it going by Greenwich? Israel? Inquiring minds want to know.

40 posted on 05/20/2011 8:59:09 AM PDT by Hoffer Rand (There ARE two Americas: "God's children" and the tax payers)
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To: Lucky9teen

Porky Pig:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBzJGckMYO4


41 posted on 05/20/2011 8:59:48 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: Lucky9teen

Will the world end before 2pm on Saturday? I just asking because we are having a yard sale and we want to get whats left over back into the garage.


42 posted on 05/20/2011 9:01:09 AM PDT by Mr. Jazzy (The United States Marine Corps, your greatest friend or your worst enemy. YOU choose.)
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To: r-q-tek86
I've always thought that song needed a little more of something, but I can't figure out exactly what...


43 posted on 05/20/2011 9:01:27 AM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Nonsense Unlimited

44 posted on 05/20/2011 9:03:50 AM PDT by Lucky9teen (Jobs? Nope! Economy? Nope! Disarm the U.S? Yep! Impeach the treasonous Marxist Muslim usurper bast)
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To: Mr. Jazzy

“we are having a yard sale”

And now provided with the perfect excuse: “sorry folks, I can’t take checks, what with the world ending and all. Has to be cash only.”


45 posted on 05/20/2011 9:03:57 AM PDT by I cannot think of a name
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To: Lucky9teen

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699
So, will Looty Guy be involved in all the post-rapture looting?


46 posted on 05/20/2011 9:04:34 AM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

My favorite. “I’ll Fly Away” performed by Gillian Welch and David Rawlings:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyN-krBTWLY


47 posted on 05/20/2011 9:05:34 AM PDT by Betis70 (Bruins?)
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To: Red_Devil 232

I’m trying to talk the wife into making a huge beef briskit. My favorite....with sauerkraut and new potatoes with a dollop of sour cream on ‘em.


48 posted on 05/20/2011 9:05:55 AM PDT by freebird5850 (Of course Obama loves his country...it's just that Sarah Palin loves mine!)
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To: Lucky9teen

49 posted on 05/20/2011 9:06:10 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: Mr. Jazzy
Will the world end before 2pm on Saturday?

This is sure gonna mess up the NHL Hockey semi-finals.

I got groceries yesterday. Today I rushed up to Walgreens to get my prescriptions, just in case they ain't there tomorrow. :)
50 posted on 05/20/2011 9:06:10 AM PDT by TomGuy
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