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Weiner Limerick thread [please add yours...vanity]
me ^ | 6/1/2011 | Me

Posted on 06/01/2011 3:14:47 PM PDT by matt1234

There once was a strange man named Weiner
Who had an unpleasant demeanor.
He tweeted his willy
To a young filly.
And his wife pondered pastures greener.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Poetry
KEYWORDS: limerick; weiner; weinergate

1 posted on 06/01/2011 3:14:53 PM PDT by matt1234
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To: matt1234

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose junk was bait in a bucket..
Nevermind.


2 posted on 06/01/2011 3:16:16 PM PDT by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: matt1234

There once was a pol named Tough Tony.
Who sent pics of his pepperoni
When caught he went “Aaaccckkk!
I’ll just say I was hacked-
That tweet, it ain’t mine its a phony!”


3 posted on 06/01/2011 3:31:37 PM PDT by Emperor Palpatine (One of these days, Alice....one of these days.....POW!! Right in the kisser!!!!)
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To: matt1234

Ping for later.


4 posted on 06/01/2011 3:31:48 PM PDT by CynicalBear
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To: matt1234

There once was an over-sexed Lib
Who so very much loved to fib
He was so imprudent
He tweeted a student
With a pic of his thinly veiled nib.


5 posted on 06/01/2011 3:50:35 PM PDT by Bean Counter (AdMinn Mod says your feet stink...almost as bad as your breath...)
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To: matt1234

A mammoth-gland man messaged tweetly,
A girl half his age replied sweetly,
“It’s angry, hung sir.
but your tool, it’s a blur,
and the picture was not taken neatly.”


6 posted on 06/01/2011 3:58:55 PM PDT by Bean Counter (AdMinn Mod says your feet stink...almost as bad as your breath...)
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To: matt1234

There once was a young girl out west
Who thought congressman Wiener the best.
He sent her a tweeter
Of his favorite peter
Now it’s up to the media to tell us the rest!


7 posted on 06/01/2011 4:07:06 PM PDT by mgpilot
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To: matt1234

There once was a democrat named Anthony Weiner
Who tweeted with girls barely older than tweeners
He sexted a photo of his little man junk
then tried to claim the whole thing was bunk
Alas his old lady Huma found his story full of lies
and in her grief ran back to Hillary’s thighs


8 posted on 06/01/2011 4:15:42 PM PDT by misterrob (You cannot call yourself a conservative if you support socialistic government programs!)
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To: matt1234

Ther once was a man named Tony
Nothing but a low class phony
He Tweeted a pic
Of his little pin prick
And now he is known as Bony.........


9 posted on 06/01/2011 4:24:16 PM PDT by Red Badger (Jesus said there is no marriage in Heaven. That's why they call it Heaven............)
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To: matt1234; 3D-JOY; 50mm; AGreatPer; calcowgirl; cindy-true-supporter; concretebob; Disco Dave; ...

There once was a Weiner in congress,
Representing the State of Undress.
He tweeted with pants down.
He’s the talk of the town.
For criminy sakes, man, confess!


10 posted on 06/01/2011 4:25:00 PM PDT by BufordP ("Drink me if you can't take a joke." -- Kool-aid)
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To: misterrob
Alas his old lady Huma found his story full of lies
and in her grief ran back to Hillary’s thighs

LOL. Greener pastures...


11 posted on 06/01/2011 4:28:51 PM PDT by matt1234 (ObamaCare: Killing mommies for commies.)
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To: matt1234

There once was a Tweeter named Weiner
Who got caught by an Internet screener
He Twittered his dong
As he thought all along
Even though it’s short it’s still sweeter.


12 posted on 06/01/2011 4:29:56 PM PDT by FrdmLvr (Death to tyrants)
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To: FrdmLvr

At a try to attract a young student
Mr. Weiner did something imprudent.
In his shorts was a bend,
He clicked Copy and Send:
Huma put in his thick head a new dent.


13 posted on 06/01/2011 4:35:46 PM PDT by Palladin (Sarah Palin in 2012!)
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To: FrdmLvr

Rewrite:
There once was a Tweeter named Weiner
Who got caught by an Internet screener
He thought all along
As he Twittered his dong
“It may be short but it’s sweeter”


14 posted on 06/01/2011 4:39:53 PM PDT by FrdmLvr (Death to tyrants)
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To: Darksheare

#2: Darksheare:

Weiner says: “Don’t touch my junk!”, not to the TSA but to his wife.


15 posted on 06/01/2011 4:42:03 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: MadMax, the Grinning Reaper

LOL!
Ouch...


16 posted on 06/01/2011 4:48:56 PM PDT by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: matt1234

An arrogant lib known as Weiner
Used his wife as a beard and a screener
But this fellow has guts
Sent a text of his putz
It’s an inch (though a half-inch is meaner)


17 posted on 06/01/2011 4:55:43 PM PDT by TruthShallSetYouFree (If you can read this post, the world did not end on May 21st.)
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To: BufordP
Weiner goes on the Imus in The Morning Show quite often.
To say the least, Don Imus has been kind but you can tell an underlying snickering if for nothing else but his name.

I can almost hear Mr. Imus if he has the guts to go on the program:
"Is it your puddin' or what?"

Even Chris Matthews said tonight, "You would think you would remember taking a picture like this". Sissy Chrissy blasted him.

18 posted on 06/01/2011 5:09:22 PM PDT by AGreatPer (May 21 end of world canceled, Friday nights at Walter Reed continues)
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To: matt1234
There once was a Congressman, Weiner
Of whom it was said: few are meaner
Yet he chose to expose his cotton-clad hose
Risking felony, not misdemeanor.
19 posted on 06/01/2011 5:14:07 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: AGreatPer

I half expected the circling of the wagons by the Dems and the media. I’ve been surprised.

But I still don’t know whether he’ll go down for awhile. He’s too arrogant to resign. He’d have to be expelled or censored. That may take awhile. Just a guess.


20 posted on 06/01/2011 5:34:01 PM PDT by BufordP ("Drink me if you can't take a joke." -- Kool-aid)
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To: matt1234

One more...

Congressman Weiner’s in a bit of a stew.
He tweeted a pic of his screw.
A hacker’s to blame.
But his constituents exclaim,
Just wait till we get our Hanes on you.

Inspired by a commercial.


21 posted on 06/01/2011 6:03:59 PM PDT by BufordP ("Drink me if you can't take a joke." -- Kool-aid)
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To: BufordP; All

Good job BufordP...I like the laughs I am getting reading this thread.

The one about Huma running back to Hillary is a classic.

What is this a sham marriage to cover for all of them? Even the religions would both kick them out!

Keep writing guys!


22 posted on 06/01/2011 7:28:59 PM PDT by 3D-JOY
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To: matt1234

Excellent! I vote this thread, the thread of the decade!!!

Great job everybody! LOL!


23 posted on 06/01/2011 7:43:11 PM PDT by grasshopper2
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To: matt1234
A mean Jew with a fantastic nose
Once Tweeted his u-trou clad hose
As the French would say,
“Je ne parle pas Anglais,
Mais bien sur que oui, Le Petite Chose!”
24 posted on 06/01/2011 8:05:38 PM PDT by twister881
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To: matt1234

There was a young boy from New York
Who liked to take pics of his dork
But then he went “tweetie”
To some West Coast sweetie
And his mouth had great need for a cork


25 posted on 06/02/2011 6:16:43 AM PDT by blau993
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To: matt1234

There was a young Lib from New York
Who tweeted a pic of his pork
His wife is a Muzzie,
and the picture was fuzzy;
Halal?? “I must get back to work”


26 posted on 06/03/2011 8:17:44 AM PDT by Bean Counter (Your what hurts??)
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To: matt1234

A. Weiner and Democrat type
Once tweeted a pic of his pipe
To a sweety out west
Who’s mom is upset
It’s so small she can’t see the hype.


27 posted on 06/03/2011 9:06:23 AM PDT by sniper63 (Ever wonder why the call themselves Hamas, but don't eat pork?)
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To: matt1234

There was a young man from New York
Who sent a young girl a pic of his pork.
The meat wasn’t kosher
And nothing is gaucher
Than showing the whole world your dork.


28 posted on 06/03/2011 9:10:14 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: matt1234

A horny lib named Weiner
Sent a girl a pic of his peener.
The thing it was Squashed
Like an old empty sock
His crime’s but a misdemeanor.


29 posted on 06/03/2011 9:18:29 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: matt1234

Rep. Weiner’s jockeys are all in a strain.
His lies flushed his career down the drain.
“But I had to indulge!
She made my shorts bulge!
She was so hot I couldn’t abstain!”


30 posted on 06/03/2011 9:28:21 AM PDT by Yaelle
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To: matt1234
Not a limerick, but a song parody:

Secret Weiner Man
(to the tune of Secret Agent Man)

There's a perv whose screen name's Carlos Danger.
To everyone he Tweets he stays a stranger.
With every sext he makes, another chance he takes.
Odds are he will be elected Mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
You've e-mailed out your member,
And done so without shame.

Beware of one-eyed cats that you may find.
A trouser-trout can hide an evil state of mind.
Be careful what you say,
Or you will give yourself away.
Odds are you will be elected Mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
You've e-mailed out your member,
And done so without shame.

-- Guitar Solo --

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
You've e-mailed out your member,
And done so without shame.

Speaking on the floor of Congress one day
And lying to the press corps on the next day.
Oh, you let the wrong words slip,
While moving both your lips.
Odds are you will be elected Mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
You've e-mailed out your member,
And done so without shame.

Secret Weiner Man!


31 posted on 07/26/2013 11:07:49 AM PDT by twister881
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