Skip to comments.Looking for article on how dating affects marriage
Posted on 07/04/2011 4:38:01 PM PDT by Optimus Prime
Hello, everyone. Hope no one minds my posting this, but this is driving me nuts. I read an article posted here within the past few weeks about a study done on successful marriages. In it, the article pointed out that marriages were much more likely to survive if the couple hadn't dated as much. In other words, a persons marriage was more likely to fail the more partners they'd had prior to their marriage. So does anyone remember that article? And if so, can you please point me to it? Thank you, and have a happy 4th of July.
There’s a book by Joshua Harris called, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. It’s very good and deals with what you are talking about.
My ex wife dated too much after we wed.
That is the book i was going to post. Awesome book for youth, teenage and adults to read.
From your title, I thought you were wondering about dating after the wedding.
does this ring a bell?
Sorry, I do not know the article, but in a lot of Orthodox Jewish literature on this subject, you might find some great facts or stats. it is amazing how well the old fashioned matchmaker style engagements work. Not always, but better than your average “met at a bar looking for someone hot to mate with” couple.
Parents and other relatives network among the young eligibles and use a lot of good criteria to pick a great spouse for their child whom they love more than life, and when there is a potential match, there is no hard feeling on either side if after meeting either young person doesn’t feel it’s right.
There are flaws with this system but overall there is so much success because the head comes first in choosing a spouse rather than just the heart (or sex organ!). Imagine someone picks a real wonderful human being for you, with promising future and brains and personailty. That is a lot better than falling in with someone who is cute, good in bed, parties well, etc. Whom you have no idea about their past or family.
Good luck to you.
My wife told me 40 years ago that she wouldn't be happy at all if I went on dates :^)
Maybe I am showing my age and Catholic upbringing but are we talking about "dating" or are we talking about sexual "partners"?
There used to be a time in America when "I dated Mary last week" did not mean "I slept with Mary last week".
Affects it badly. My wife told me to stop it or else.
Ba dum dump! CRASH!
I hope your not worried about the marriage being successful.
If you are, chances are it will fail.
In a successful marriage, there is not question or doubt.
Where there is doubt there is mistrust... and a marriage will not survive without trust.
I’m glad you said that because it’s just what I was thinking.
It’s pitiful when dating means the same thing as sex.
Most of the people who go to my church are opposed to dating. All of those who do assume that dating equals sex. Pre-marital sex is what has the potential to damage future marriage relationships, even if the pre-marital sex was between the future husband and wife. Many in my church’s solution to this problem is to breathe down the neck of courting couples, which I think is a tad ridiculous.
Yup, I had the same problem.
My wife and I dated for about 2 1/2 years before we got married. The first year we weren’t exclusive. After a year we one day looks at each other and decided our wild oats were sown.
We have been married for 21 years. Our rules were simple. Friday night is guys or gals night out. Saturday night was date night. Sunday depended on whether the Giants were playing the 4pm game.
Excellent (and despite the injuries and screwups, we're still in first place!).
Er, I mean, that sounds like a very healthy marriage map.
I had one of those. Getting out saved my sanity and probably my life, as well. Nothing’s quite like going down in flames in a small town.
Yep, that photo is about the last time dating and sex weren’t synonymous.
Unless they're your parents, or hers, I'd tell them to mind their own business.
I don't know when churches became so intrusive, but more than one has. My deceased father-in-law earned my admiration when his church started asking parishioners to sign an abstinence pledge. Nearing 80, and having survived two wives, and in poor health himself, he was in no position to be anything but abstinent but he told them to shove it anyway. Not because he had anything against reserving sex for marriage, but because he found it personally invasive.
Does anybody know why Judy Garland is like some patron saint for gays? I just wondered if there was something specific about her that makes them all gaga.
>>> I’m not worried about anything in specific. There was just a really good article I read here a while back in which a study was done of the people who tended to get divorced. I recall it finding that there was a correlation between a person’s chances of getting a divorce and the number of relationships they had prior to the marriage.
I believe the correlation reflects a tendency to base the relationship upon sex before friendship.... hence multiple partners... multiple failures.
Once the guy gets what he wants physically before the commitment, the desire for commitment is diminished.
Gals tend to think that giving the guy what he wants will solidify the commitment... when it works just the opposite.
I think that guys who are looking for something that will last a lifetime need to envision their prospect old, fat, and ugly... and if they still want to marry them, then by all means pop the question.
Gals should make sure her man has his priorities straight...
It’s the parents who breathe down the necks. It’s not that I have a problem with strict rules intended to avoid funny business or anything. It’s just that I’d prefer to not have the parents with the girl and I 100% (that’s literally the case for these folks) of the time until after we’ve wed. It’s not like I date (or “court,” as if it’s much different) any of the girls from my church anyway, so it’s none of their business so long as I’m not obviously committing serious sin.
Can’t say that it does.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.