Skip to comments.Man Takes Viagra, Wears Sweatpants for TSA Pat Down
Posted on 07/18/2011 5:53:46 AM PDT by Past Your Eyes
NASHVILLE INTL AIRPORT A Wyoming man walked through a TSA checkpoint with a raging erection on Tuesday, daring TSA officers and even fellow passengers to give him an invasive pat down.
Im next, Warren Kelvin, 34, screamed as he pushed to the front of the security line. According to TSA officials, Kelvin had ingested two Viagra and wore sweatpants without boxers for his Southwest flight from Nashville to Phoenix.
(Excerpt) Read more at thewashingtonfancy.com ...
Harlequin Romance; Version 2011
He grasped me firmly, but gently, just above my elbow, and guided me into a room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone. He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring voice close to my ear,
Without warning, he reached down, and I felt his strong, calloused hands start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves, slowly but steadily.
My breath caught in my throat.
I knew I should be afraid, but somehow I didnt care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress my abdomen, my ribcage. Then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.
Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and expectant. This is a man, I thought, a man used to taking charge. A man not used to taking No for an answer. A man who would tell me what he wanted.
A man who would look into my soul and say .. . .
Okay,maam,you can board your flight now.
Funny. I wish it was true. Along with the other articles “Pope Calls for Crusade After Accidentally Reading Speech from 1095 A.D.” and “Barney Frank Picked Last in Congressional Softball Game Throws Massive Fit”
“Your leading misleading source for politics” LOL
Even after we let him pass through he kept walking out of the terminal and getting back in line, said Watershed. Finally, Duncan had to bite the bullet for everyone and do a thorough screening of him in a private [security] room.
Allbright, a 14-year veteran of airport security, announced his retirement shortly after Kelvin boarded the plane. Im going home to take a shower and make love to my wife, said Allbright as he got into his car. This job isnt for me. Ive suddenly lost my passion for touching strangers.
The whole scenario falls apart as soon as you try to imagine “calloused hands” on a TSA agent.
Actually the story is not true. Once TSA saw Warren Kelvin and his problem they told him to “BEAT IT”! lol
You owe me a keyboard. LOL
Hey, those fly zippers are rough on your hands.
that was the best post of the day even though it was NOT true. And you just KNOW I will not be the only one to remark here. I knows dees people on FR. LOL
In the event of a TSA screening lasting for more than four hours, please consult your lawyer...
Good this guy is a hero. Let all of the gropers quit in disgust and maybe Big Sis will get a clue.
All this, just because he had a “hard*n” for the TSA?
I'm next?! You're not George! Where's George?
Nobody named George works here.
But I got into this line because Paul said George would be working this line today. Paul said George gives really good pat downs. Oh well, I guess you'll have to do. Be thorough with me! /raving homosexual
Weinergate is officially over. The weiner has left the station.
Bwahahahahaha ... freepers are so creative!
This is great!!
Well, he had four hours to get through the lines. Or, because he took two, was it eight hours.
Oh, Lord, this need to go on a billboard!
This article left me laughing so hard I nearly choked on my breakfast sandwich.
bump to watch comments from FReepers *snicker*
It’s getting weird out there!
As an occasional romance novel reader...
Thanx for my morning “wake up”...Cheers!
Reminds me of the term used in the smut books when I was a kid....”Hot, Throbbing member”
That is some of the best writing I’ve ever seen on FR.
FLOL ! Mr. Horny Toad for the TSA groping !
As Billy Squier’s “Stroke Me” played...
This is the funniest thing I have read in weeks. Thanks for starting my day with a smile.
ROFLOL I guess if you are going to have to have a TSA pat down might as well enjoy it?
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This guy may be from Wyoming, but he sounds like a Brokeback Mountain kind of cowboy to me.
Smiling Bob says: You da man, Warren...
You da man!
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