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Permissive parents: Curb your brats
CNN ^ | July 5, 2011 | LZ Granderson

Posted on 07/23/2011 10:13:44 AM PDT by Immerito

Grand Rapids, Michigan (CNN) -- If you're the kind of parent who allows your 5-year-old to run rampant in public places like restaurants, I have what could be some rather disturbing news for you.

I do not love your child.

The rest of the country does not love your child either.

And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner.

Or our plane ride.

Or trip to the grocery store.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: childrearing; children; parenting; parents
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1 posted on 07/23/2011 10:13:48 AM PDT by Immerito
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To: Immerito

Precisely. My retort to the parents of unruly children is, “Children should never try to raise children. Are your parents available to help you?”


2 posted on 07/23/2011 10:18:58 AM PDT by Louis Foxwell (This IS my blog site.)
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To: Louis Foxwell

I may not agree with “LZ” on much else, but he’s right about this. Parents who do not teach their children respect, discipline, and prepare them for life need to go back and re-learn those lessons themselves, then teach their children well.


3 posted on 07/23/2011 10:23:12 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: Immerito

How DARE you! By questioning their handling of SnowFlake, you are threatening them! You probably voted against Our Towering Socialist Loving Warlord! Racist!


4 posted on 07/23/2011 10:27:23 AM PDT by jonascord (The Drug War Rapes the Constitution.)
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To: Immerito

When they scream and wail, I mind. Otherwise, I don’t care.


5 posted on 07/23/2011 10:27:42 AM PDT by yup2394871293
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To: Immerito
I don't even want to THINK about what would have happened to me if I, as a child, had "hit (my) mother in the face with an open hand."

As conservatives, I am guessing that is beyond the comprehension of any of us.

6 posted on 07/23/2011 10:28:38 AM PDT by truthkeeper (Vote Against Barack Obama in 2012!)
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To: Immerito

I don’t know which is worse, parents who can’t/won’t control their children or people who bring their pets into grocery stores and restaurants.

I consider both groups of people, pigs.


7 posted on 07/23/2011 10:30:51 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Public employee unions are the barbarian hordes of our time.)
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To: Immerito; SmithL; NormsRevenge; Tijeras_Slim; Allegra; Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Editor's note: LZ Granderson writes a weekly column for CNN.com. He has just been named Journalist of the Year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association.

LZ enjoying some downtime on the streets of the Castro.

but yeah, there sure is a lot of poor impulse control around

8 posted on 07/23/2011 10:32:08 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Immerito
Children are wonderful but they are not the center of the universe. The sooner their parents make them understand that, the better off we all will be.

bears repeating

9 posted on 07/23/2011 10:34:22 AM PDT by ZinGirl
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To: Immerito
I don't know what's worse, the howling kids in the cart or the mom in slippers and p.j. bottoms ignoring them.
10 posted on 07/23/2011 10:36:50 AM PDT by ladyvet ( I would rather have Incitatus then the asses that are in congress today.)
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To: truthkeeper

Back in the old days, other people such as teachers were allowed to discipline other people’s children. Perhaps corporal punishment served a useful purpose. Maybe it was fear that kept many children in line, but, whatever the case, children need discipline.

Of course, since we are a liberal culture, corporal punishment has been done away with. And the smart ass kids know it. So they know that any other adults are afraid to discipline them due to fear of lawsuits and other complications. The result is that too many kids run wild. And we’re all supposed to be liberal and accept it. And it amazes me that these parents, who themselves were not allowed to run wild when they themselves were young, allow it in their own kids and don’t discipline their own kids.

Then again, is spanking even still allowed by parents? I heard that a mother recently was arrested for spanking her child. Maybe in this liberal world, even parents are afraid of consequences. They could fear that their kids will go to school and tell the teacher they got spanked. In today’s world, that opens up child abuse investigations.


11 posted on 07/23/2011 10:37:34 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: Immerito

Bit of anti “breeder” in this story.

But point is valid. Some kids need less time out and more belt on butt.

Parents try to be friends with their kids rather than parents. Look at the 40 year old moms wrapped up in Twilight. Grow the heck up.


12 posted on 07/23/2011 10:39:22 AM PDT by TigerClaws
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To: Louis Foxwell

There seems to be a lot of parents that don’t make their kids mind. On the other hand in defense of some of those parents. I have an autistic child who is also learning disabled and also has ADHD to the max. She also looked normal. When she was 4 her doc told me that he had never seen a child as hyper as she was and put her on ritalin. If you read the pdr it recommends not putting a child on ritalin until about 6 years old. She was like dealing with a wild animal, she understood very little and her communication at that age was of about a 1 year old. She was also tacitly defensive. Every time I tried to hold her hand she would throw herself down to the ground screaming, or she would spit, bite herself or me and whack herself in the head with her fist. So it was either a stroller which she was fine in, as long as you were moving, or a grocery cart if the store had one, this seemed to help keep her calm. Of course not all stores have carts and she outgrew the stroller.
Just sayin.


13 posted on 07/23/2011 10:39:48 AM PDT by MsLady (Be the kind of woman that when you get up in the morning, the devil says, "Oh crap, she's UP !!")
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To: Immerito
"LZ Granderson...has just been named Journalist of the Year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. He is...a 2010 nominee and the 2009 winner of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation award for online journalism."

Ol' LZ is really racking up the prestigous awards, isn't he, for writing violence provoking crap such as this:

" And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner."

14 posted on 07/23/2011 10:41:54 AM PDT by 2nd Bn, 11th Mar (The "p" in Democrat stands for patriotism.)
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To: Immerito
LZ says... "Spanking is not a cure, and should not be the first resort, but I don't think it should automatically be taken off the table when dealing with small kids."

So LZ is for spanking, just not in public? So spanking is 'child abuse' according to liberals, but they expect 'the look' to imply in public what parents have a duty to do in private?

Most child-haters I have encountered are seniors who ooze their hatred for them even when they are well-behaved. Such as when you show up at the pool with them in tow -- they haven't done anything and already they're puffing and grunting and rolling their eyes, as though their good time is spoiled (and they're going to let you know!). And I'm sure most never raised children, and went on to live the life of a narcissist.

To them my sentiment is, 'relax, they'll be paying your social security in a few years'.

15 posted on 07/23/2011 10:42:29 AM PDT by zipper
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To: Immerito

I’m a cashier at a LARGE grocery/gen merchandise store (I won’t name it) and a mother was letting her child run amok. I had been standing there 6 hours already and over one hundren customers later watching this kid scream and throw fits. I finally got frustrated and asked the mother if she wanted a “plastic” bag for the kid. She got the meaning and glared at me while I smiled back at her. True story.

I’m surprised I didn’t get fired.


16 posted on 07/23/2011 10:44:16 AM PDT by mardi59 (T)
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To: MsLady

“just saying.”
Just saying what? That you like to speak in half or incomplete sentences?
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Otherwise keep it to yourself/S


17 posted on 07/23/2011 10:45:07 AM PDT by 9422WMR (Illegal is not a race. Obamacare is a crime,and barry is a dumbass (prove me wrong))
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To: bigbob

Callous as it sounds, Mr. RightField and I always told our children that while they were special to us, they were definitely NOT special to the rest of the world. We expected them to develop good manners and social graces in order to survive on their own. The world outside our home would not be forgiving of selfish, boorish behavior, and their livelihoods and friendships would be determined in large part by their own social behavior.


18 posted on 07/23/2011 10:46:29 AM PDT by RightField (one of the obstreperous citizens insisting on incorrect thinking - C. Krauthamer)
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To: Immerito

I agree with the author. It’s never good to have to deal with brats or their brat parents.


19 posted on 07/23/2011 10:50:02 AM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: Immerito

I have four kids. We were always too embarrassed to stay in the public place when our kids acted up. I never understood why other parents stayed..


20 posted on 07/23/2011 10:50:36 AM PDT by cardinal4 (Sun-Tzu/Atilla 2012)
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To: MsLady

Don’t apologize for your child — as one of God’s children, your autistic child is every bit as blessed as any other human on earth. And maybe more so.


21 posted on 07/23/2011 10:53:22 AM PDT by zipper
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To: 9422WMR
“just saying.” Just saying what? That you like to speak in half or incomplete sentences? Say what you mean and mean what you say. Otherwise keep it to yourself/S

It's slang.

Chill.

22 posted on 07/23/2011 10:55:39 AM PDT by zipper
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To: truthkeeper
I don't even want to THINK about what would have happened to me if I, as a child, had "hit (my) mother in the face with an open hand."

My mother, a 5' 1" Italian woman, never said to me or my 4 siblings, wait 'till your father gets home.

She had a bamboo switch about 4' long and it tapered to about a quarter of an inch that she would use on us when ever she decided that anyone deserved it.

If you even raised your hand in self defense to ward off a blow, she'd beat you until you knew that you'd never do that again.

If any of us kids would even have thought of hitting our mother, the other four would have beat the hell out of him and then ratted him out to mom so that she could finish him off.

Like a good jockey, she rarely needed to go to the whip, but when she did, you'd have welts for weeks and memories for a life time.

I never saw her have to hit any of us more than one time for each offense, and we were careful to not cross the line {or get caught doing it}.

23 posted on 07/23/2011 10:56:31 AM PDT by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages.)
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Good thIng spanking is out of schools now. Think of the teachers today!


24 posted on 07/23/2011 10:57:32 AM PDT by MNDude (so that's what they meant by Carter's second term)
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To: bigbob

When I did that my mother’s reaction was a slap upside the head. I didn’t do more than a few times. In fact, there’s an old home movie of us eating at my aunt’s house when I was six years old. My mother reaches for a biscuit and I duck.

She didn’t need ritalin either. A slap upside the head and a scream: “Pay attention!” worked everytime.


25 posted on 07/23/2011 10:58:42 AM PDT by Terry Mross (I'll only vote for a SECOND party.)
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To: MsLady

I agree with most of LZ’s article, but your comment underscores the reasons why people should not judge a situation without all the facts. It’s not unlike adults who are sick, yet don’t appear sick.


26 posted on 07/23/2011 11:00:32 AM PDT by republicangel
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To: Immerito
One of my favorite subjects

Having raised six children, I can tell you this generation pretty much have ruined their children.

I didn't need to have the "look" or to clear my "throat" or even speak a word to get my children to behave in public.

After they were trained on how to behave in public, my wife and I fully expected them to behave. If they did misbehave it was dealt with at home later or in a private place and rarely happened again because it was clearly explained to them the "board of education" would teach them how to behave.

Today I will without hesitation tell a parent to get their simian under control or I will do it for them.

Yeah, I get looks of horror that I would embarrass them in front of their friends or family but they normally fix the problem

27 posted on 07/23/2011 11:02:01 AM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: zipper

“just saying.” Just saying what?”
It’s slang.

Chill.”
Yea,
I hear that wonderful saying from coworkers all the time.
Just saying.
What a stupid term, slang or otherwise.


28 posted on 07/23/2011 11:04:17 AM PDT by 9422WMR (FOBO)
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To: Immerito

This relates to the “buddyfication” of parenting that is all around us.
Children are now the buddies of parents and are constantly being told “good job,buddy”.
There are no standards for what is an actual good job,yes I know it raises self esteem, but it has produced a generation of people who feel entitled even when they do a mediocre job at best.


29 posted on 07/23/2011 11:05:22 AM PDT by COUNTrecount (Barry...above his poi grade.)
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To: MsLady

You and your child are not the ones the writer is targeting with the article. It’s the dreadful parents that allow their kids to behave like primative heathens in public. (With apologies to primative heathens everywhere.)

Parents want to be ‘frends’ with their kids and hold back on any sort of punishment for bad behavior. This includes not correcting children when they throw themselves down in a store because Mommy didn’t buy them a toy, or not keeping them in their chairs at a restaurant. Sorry, kids need their parents to be parents and prepare them for the life outside of Mommy and Daddy’s sphere of protection.

I, for one, think parents like the one illustrated in this article are the exception, not the rule. I live in Small Town, TX and I don’t see that many brats. When I do see them, they make an impression, albeit a bad one. It’s the behavior of all the well-behaved kids that you forget. At least, that’s what I am choosing to believe.


30 posted on 07/23/2011 11:05:38 AM PDT by bigredkitty1 (March 5,2010. Rest in peace, sweet boy. I will miss you, Big Red.)
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To: 9422WMR

You sure are touchy today. Must be the heat...


31 posted on 07/23/2011 11:06:41 AM PDT by Russ (Repeal the 17th amendment)
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To: Psycho_Bunny

So you think people who use service animals are pigs because they are the only ones legally able to do that.


32 posted on 07/23/2011 11:10:52 AM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: zipper

From an older person POV. There have been more times than I can count when, at the grocers or other public space, I have been run into, just about knocked over by thoroughly undisciplined children running around unbridled. To the point that I fear the weekly shopping trip — because I never know in advance what indignity I will face. It is not HATE; it is FEAR. Just Saying.


33 posted on 07/23/2011 11:11:09 AM PDT by famousdayandyear
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To: zipper

By the way, by the time your perfect children — assuming they will work — pay into Social Security (oozing a little hate here), I will have been taken out by some bureaucrat serving on some panel under Obamacare. And btw, the reason you can write (perhaps speak) English and not German or Arabic, is because someone of your hateful senior generation gave their life for you and your perfect children.


34 posted on 07/23/2011 11:17:58 AM PDT by famousdayandyear
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To: Immerito

When you see an unattended child, give them an espresso and a puppy. That’l learn the parents.


35 posted on 07/23/2011 11:20:22 AM PDT by Boiling point (Cain / Palin 2012)
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To: Immerito

Just came from Target where a 6-7 year old was kicking the back heel of his dad as he pushed the shopping cart. All he would say was “stop that” or he would try avoiding the kicks that followed.


36 posted on 07/23/2011 11:21:25 AM PDT by eaglestar
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To: Immerito
I'm against child abuse. Parent abuse for an unruly child? Yeah. I could live with that. When I hear one across the grocery store, I usually ask in a 2 to 3 aisle wide voice, “ Want me to whip their ass for you.” Sometimes does the trick. Guess what? Spare the rod spoil the child really, really does work and it puts the fear of God in them to boot. Before I resorted to that, I would get on my knees or pick up my child so we were nose to nose and I told them I was not going to allow that type of behavior and if they did it again, they could expect a spanking right then and there. After 2 or 3 times, they got the message, have not been scarred for life and the last spanking was when one was..nine and the other six (both girls). I spanked them together for fighting and after the spanking, made them apologize and hug each other. Yeah. I know. Every expert says don't spank and never spank together. The experts are the reasons we have parents and grandparents that were never spanked and we are in the shape we are in because of experts. So keep your opinion to yourself. I am a conservative which according to popular public opinion, I am a racist, sexist, bigot homophobe. And I'm a redneck so there's no dealing with me. Don't waste your time typing.
37 posted on 07/23/2011 11:34:46 AM PDT by cashless (Unlike Obama and his supporters, I'd rather be a TEA BAGGER thaln a TEA BAGGEE.)
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To: mardi59
I’m a cashier at a LARGE grocery/gen merchandise store (I won’t name it) and a mother was letting her child run amok.

I once served time as a night stocker at Wal-Mart - 10 pm - 6 am. At all hours of the night mothers (usually) would bring in their kids and turn them loose while mommie shopped. I used to catch 'em in the toy department pulling one item after another off the shelves and leaving them on the floor. I'd calmly take their hand and say "Let's find mommy" and bring the kid back, with the admonition to mommy that the store was a place of business - not a playground.

More often I'd get glared at but nothing more and on rare occasions I'd get a "I'm sorry".

Teens would use the place as a replacement mall - a couple of times the older ones would take a bike from the rack and race down the aisles. A few snarling "Ged offa da bike" did the trick.

I also wonder why I didn't get fired (didn't care and I showed it - beer money job) but this was a small town and I guess the liberal mindset wasn't so deeply implanted.

38 posted on 07/23/2011 11:40:34 AM PDT by Oatka ("A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves." –Bertrand de Jouvenel)
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To: Immerito
I agree with nearly everything the author says in here...especially this

And we know you don't discipline them at home because you don't possess "the look." If you had "the look," you wouldn't need to say "sit down" a thousand times.

That's NOTHING but the plain truth. One look from either of my parents was more than enough for me and my brothers and sisters to pipe down. we KNEW there would be consequences...and they could involve my father's belt! Not something we looked forward to!

39 posted on 07/23/2011 11:45:20 AM PDT by pgkdan (Time for a Cain Mutiny!)
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To: Immerito

“And we know you don’t discipline them at home because you don’t possess “the look.” If you had “the look,” you wouldn’t need to say “sit down” a thousand times.”

HA!!

My sister in law says my ‘look’ scares her even. But that look is never as scary as “Do you need to go to the bathroom” through clenched teeth.


40 posted on 07/23/2011 11:45:29 AM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to the chariot wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: Immerito
And the reason why we're staring at you every other bite is not because we're acknowledging some sort of mutual understanding that kids will be kids but rather we want to kill you for letting your brat ruin our dinner. / Or our plane ride. / Or trip to the grocery store.

Sad but true.

41 posted on 07/23/2011 11:46:38 AM PDT by newzjunkey
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To: 9422WMR
You must be an absolute riot at parties.

Just saying...

42 posted on 07/23/2011 11:47:31 AM PDT by buccaneer81 (ECOMCON)
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To: Oatka
At all hours of the night mothers (usually) would bring in their kids and turn them loose while mommie shopped.

Well, at least they weren't giving their kids the "Zanny the nanny" (Xanax) treatment while they shopped

43 posted on 07/23/2011 11:49:04 AM PDT by Popman (Obama. First Marxist to turn a five year Marxist plan into a 4 year administration.)
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To: Oatka

I’m doing time as well. There is a point we reach where it gets so difficult dealing with snotty adults and bratty children. They think we are nobodys who should be gracious enough to shut-up and take the bull they dish out.

I give with a smile, but in reality I want to slap half of the snotty young women silly.


44 posted on 07/23/2011 11:56:17 AM PDT by mardi59 (T)
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To: Immerito
I understand people being upset about unruly children. I only get pissed about those who even see a child someplace or -God forbid- hear a child laugh and go into a snit.

When my oldest was 8 months old, we were at a restaurant when a loud woman came in and immediately said, "Oh no! Another screaming kid!"(his mouth wasn't even open) My son behaved better than she did.

45 posted on 07/23/2011 12:02:22 PM PDT by HungarianGypsy
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To: Dilbert San Diego

Last night at Walmart, my son didn’t want to leave the toy asile. we tried carrying him, but he was kicking and screaming. Finally my wife had me take my daughter and pay for our purchases. When I met her at the car, she showed me her arm. He had bitten her hard enough to leave a mark and draw a little blood. She sat him in the back of the van and smacked him hard. We’re afraid to do anything like that in public because we don’t want to go to jail.
I mean... I love my kids. And I don’t treat them like snowflakes. He wants to play video games, but it’s time to get food? He gets yanked off the computer. he’ll scream “That’s not fair!” and our reply is “Life isn’t fair, kid.”
The other day we were grocery shopping, he was acting like a little jerk. Kicking, screaming, yelling “Leave me alone!” I said “That’s it. we’re going to take what we have and leave.” I came back later. But I wasn’t going to tolerate that behavior. I don’t even want to go out in public with him any more. I’ll take care of the shopping. But until he learns how to behave in public, he’ll never see the inside of a resturant or a grocery store.


46 posted on 07/23/2011 12:03:16 PM PDT by christx30
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To: cardinal4

I was 1 of 4 and now have 5 of my own. We never hesitated to remove one of ours from public when their behavior required it. We worked hard to establish good behavior and predictable consequences early on and like many have said, now rarely have to deal with it now.

What I like to do now, when watching some parent trying to appease thieir little terrorist, is point it out to my kids. Great training for THEM to be good parents to MY eventual grandkids.....


47 posted on 07/23/2011 12:05:30 PM PDT by mad puppy (Obama Care is a 'Giffen Good'.)
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To: Immerito

It is the unruly children of undisciplined and uncontrolled parents that make things difficult for the good parents.
We could soon see segregation of “families” from the general public in the name of noise control and cleanliness.
And yes, I have young children.


48 posted on 07/23/2011 12:07:31 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: Immerito

However, if a parent attempts to curb their brat in public, they run the risk of being reported for child abuse.


49 posted on 07/23/2011 12:29:13 PM PDT by Persevero (Homeschooling for Excellence since 1992)
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To: mardi59

I’m a dad of 3 1/2 yro twins. I stand ready to “bring down the house” on them when they cut up at home, in public, or in the truck. That being said, sometimes the world has to keep turning, and sometimes good kids fail be able to keep it together very well—frustrating as it is. At the grocery store, where I rutinely spend $300.00+ a week, if one of the lovely little cashiers ever suggests that perhaps I might be interested in smothering one or both of my children in order to make her or his day at the customer service mill a little less frustrating, I would think that stopping with just a good glaring at would show huge restraint on my part. I too am surprised you didn’t get fired. Just saying. :)


50 posted on 07/23/2011 12:32:46 PM PDT by Floyd Rivers
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