I've not been directly involved in an adoption before, and I'm sure that there are FReepers who can correct me.
However, I have several close friends and relatives who have adopted children through the state. The number of hoops that they need to jump through are legion (and many of them are ridiculous), and the entire process - from start to finish - took years. Plenty of time to spot warning signs.
For this behavior to "suddenly" show up triggers my BS detector. Not saying that it couldn't happen, just saying that I don't think we're getting the entire story.
I see what you are saying but the parents could have had short visitation while the adoption was going through. With RAD, the child isn’t stupid. He or she knows their best option is to get adopted instead of staying at a foster house. Did your friends adopt young children or infants? The reason that I am asking is that those adoptions go more slowly simply because they are more “desirable”. That is why I said I would choose an adoption of an older child if he or she lived with me for a year. You can hide some psychological damage for a period of time but not that long... it will surface with the child being more comfortable. I guess my main point is this: I fear a law where parents are forced to remain parents if they aren’t handling it well and are doing more damage than good. I have no problem with a parent surrendering a three month old baby when they realize that they can’t cope. Thus, I have no problem with parents surrendering an older child if they can’t cope as well. Not for the parents... but for the safety of the children.