Skip to comments.'Vampire' Stalks Siberian Livestock (Russian Chupacabra)
Posted on 08/05/2011 11:50:47 AM PDT by nickcarraway
A blood-sucking creature is preying upon goats near Novosibirsk. As rational explanations run thin on the ground, the specter of the so-called chupacabra raises its demon head.
Horrified farmers and smallholders are confronted by the drained corpses of their livestock in the morning, bloodless and bearing puncture marks to the neck but otherwise largely in tact.
But local cops are reluctant to record apparent vampire attacks, as they await official recertification, leaving the locals up in arms.
If this creature is not stopped it could make its way to Novosibirsk! Only our police force are doing jack-diddly about it, complaining locals told Komsomolskaya Pravda. They say that there is no Chupacabra. Come if you will journalists, have a look at what is happening to us.
Death in the night
Local animal keeper Natalya told of her experiences. It all happened on the night of June 10, she told KP. I was sleeping, my daughter was sitting at the computer looking at the internet. She says that about 2.00 am she heard a sound in the yard. Some whining.
The dog which guards the farm screamed for 15 minutes and then quietened down. The dogs behavior drew the attention of my daughter Natalie, but she didnt think it was important. She thought that if a stranger had come to the house then the dog would bark. And here it was more like whining, you think of howling at the moon.
In the morning it became clear why the dog had been howling. I got up and went to the barn to milk the goats.
I looked and saw right on the doorstep a goat with its neck thrown back unnaturally. On the neck there was something like a bite mark, the belly was torn, and there were huge claw marks. I came over bad and started screaming, I ran to the house to see the children were alright, she said.
Whatever killed the goats never tried to eat the flesh, it just drank its victims blood.
From the devil
Natalyas news of a near-mythical chupacabra spread like wildfire among residents of Krasnoginnoe village, then it became clear that nearby Tolmachevskoye and Chick villages had also been afflicted.
The blood-suckers had targeted cattle in Tolmochevskoye. Its come from the devil. Ive seen it. My brother, even when he lived near St Petersburg seven years ago accidently photographed a chupacabra. He took the usual family picture and then saw the demonic face through the kitchen window. Grey-red it was, such an unpleasant face, like a bat with fangs, Natalies uncle Viktor Shushpanov told KP.
My brother showed me this photograph and upon the advice of his family he burned it, he said.
Ring the church bells
All the people are scared, they fear that the creature will move onto children, the head of the village said. We have organized night patrols of six people. We walk through the village, on the look out for this wickedness. But so far we have had no results.
While hopes for speedy retribution are fast diminishing the beast has turned out to be a boon to troubled parents, presenting a very useful threat for naughty children.
The chupacabra is a recent legend, originating from mid 1990s North America. It is supposedly a heavy creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail.
But there seems to be a more prosaic explanation:
Discovery News reported in 2010 that what were believed to be chupacabra in the Americas turned out to be wild dogs infected with a deadly form of mange. The University of Michigan put forward a similar theory.
“I vant to drink you blood, blah!”
Definitely a Chupacabra.
What is Chupacabra in Russian?
Possibly mink or weasel. They make a bite and lick the blood out. They’ll silently wipe out a coop full of chickens in the middle of the night.
In Russia it’s a Tchupacabraski.
More interesting: What is “jack-diddly” in Russian.
I think Freepers should start inexplicably using this phrase.
I’m joking, I have no clue. Where is babelfish? lol
And a new tagline is born...
Someone had a pet leopard that escaped. Typical leopard killing behaviour.
Putins wife is afraid that her husband is a vampire (not a joke)
Lyudmila, wife of Russian President Vladmir Putin, thinks he is a vampire, and mourns the fact that the former KGB agent went back into espionage as head of Russia’s Federal Security Service in 1998.
Probably the IRS [or the Russkie version thereof].
Nasty, ill-tempered, bad-assed copulators, the female must be mauled with her neck fully penetrated by the male's teeth...then she ovulates.
Imagine biting a cow in the neck...
Russian Chupacabra Ping List-Of-One ping....
Russian Chupacabra Ping List-Of-One ping....
Sorry Nick, that was meant for Slings.
John McCain and John Kerry?
Thanks! I’ve been looking for a new one.