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Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice
The Daily Squib ^ | 8/6/11 | Nelson Umerogwa

Posted on 08/07/2011 6:16:43 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose

Home | World | Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice By Nelson Umerogwa 15 hours 53 minutes ago Font size: Decrease font Enlarge font Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice

WASHINGTON DC - USA - An increasingly desperate Barack Obama has ordered twelve witch doctors from Kenya to be flown to the White House, CNN has reported.

"Obama is so desperate that he's turning to voodoo to get the U.S. economy back on track," a Treasury employee told CNN.

The White House was tonight being prepared for the arrival of the witch doctors, who will utilise many different techniques and materials for their special rituals.

"Help From the Old Country"

"They been doing this stuff for thousands of years so they know what to do. We're bringing in some goats and chickens and putting them in the East room. I told 'em to watch out though and not get any blood on the carpet," a White House aide said.

According to anthropological experts, the voodoo practitioners will all try to bring the U.S. economy back from the brink of certain destruction, but even if they fail, they will still get paid, much like real economic advisers and so-called experts.

"We're hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed," one of the witch doctors revealed just before leaving Nairobi international airport yesterday.

Unfortunately for Mr Obama, this is the last chance he has to make things work after he was caught sleeping on the job whilst a major economic meltdown happened right under his nose.

"Obama is using American taxpayers' money to fly these guys from Africa to Washington for three days, feed them and pay them. This just beggars belief," John Bullwark, a senior GOP representative from Texas told Fox news.

President Obama, who was attending his 50th hip hop shizazoe hizzoe bash yesterday, was not available for comment.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: enonomy; humor; obama; witchdoctors
Finally Obama has a solution......?
1 posted on 08/07/2011 6:16:50 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose
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To: foundedonpurpose

Zer0’s not playing golf this w/e?


2 posted on 08/07/2011 6:18:29 AM PDT by Paladin2
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To: foundedonpurpose

Now that he has a plan we can finally compromise.../S

lol


3 posted on 08/07/2011 6:20:05 AM PDT by paint_your_wagon
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To: foundedonpurpose

A marked improvement from his usual gang of Keynsians and Marxists.


4 posted on 08/07/2011 6:22:57 AM PDT by all the best
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To: all the best

What a waste of money... flying them to DC ... when
all Oboma has to do is look around; we have a Congress
full of Witch Doctors.


5 posted on 08/07/2011 6:24:53 AM PDT by Razmataz
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To: foundedonpurpose

Zer0 should just share some sacrifice with Arugula and Kobe beef.


6 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:03 AM PDT by Paladin2
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To: foundedonpurpose

He will probably bring his Aunt Zuni in to interpret and do the blood drinking.


7 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:07 AM PDT by Venturer
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To: Razmataz

Just what we need, more witchcraft in the White House, which is an abomination to God. Why not just rain down more curses on us already, to go with the ones brought about by deserting our ally, Israel.


8 posted on 08/07/2011 6:28:34 AM PDT by Kackikat
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To: foundedonpurpose

“We’re hoping for the Dow to rise by at least 600 points, depending on how many chickens are sacrificed,”

Or RINOs


9 posted on 08/07/2011 6:30:15 AM PDT by Huskrrrr
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To: foundedonpurpose

It takes dedication, resolve, purpose, and study to become a witch doctor. Finally there might be some adults in the White House.


10 posted on 08/07/2011 6:30:52 AM PDT by norwaypinesavage (Galileo: In science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of one individual)
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To: Admin Moderator

Looks like this thread has no source - - no foundation either


11 posted on 08/07/2011 6:31:07 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
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To: foundedonpurpose

Uhh, check your link, dude....


12 posted on 08/07/2011 6:31:12 AM PDT by StrictTime
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To: StrictTime

Check how long this “person” has been a member!


13 posted on 08/07/2011 6:33:41 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
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To: Loud Mime

But it is entertaining.


14 posted on 08/07/2011 6:34:18 AM PDT by boomop1
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To: Loud Mime
Hoax Warning
15 posted on 08/07/2011 6:34:29 AM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
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To: Loud Mime

Go to the Daily Squib. Read more. Laugh a lot. A fine source for entertainment—with a twist—as the stories are often believable!!! In today’s world of uncertainty and fear, it’s too bad humor is lost on so many people.


16 posted on 08/07/2011 6:46:56 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose (Be strong in truth!)
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To: foundedonpurpose

Next time post the correct link and in the correct forum, this is not news.


17 posted on 08/07/2011 6:48:55 AM PDT by Sidebar Moderator
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To: foundedonpurpose

Funny, however the truth is even more alarming. The collapse of the economic system is exactly what he was trying to cause.

OBAMA: Mission Accomplished
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2759730/posts

He has given only lip service to creating jobs. Almost all the stimulus money spent had no hope of actually creating real jobs or jumpstarting the economy.


18 posted on 08/07/2011 6:48:59 AM PDT by AngieGal
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To: foundedonpurpose

Well, if this doesn’t work maybe Zero will bring in Snoop Dog for consultation.


19 posted on 08/07/2011 6:50:01 AM PDT by layman (Card Carrying Infidel)
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To: foundedonpurpose

“When Nature Calls” in reverse.


20 posted on 08/07/2011 6:54:00 AM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: Sidebar Moderator

Sorry! Thanx :~)


21 posted on 08/07/2011 6:54:04 AM PDT by foundedonpurpose (Be strong in truth!)
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To: foundedonpurpose
Hedley Lamarr: "Now go do... that voodoo... that YOU do... SO WELL...!"

[Men shoot at the sky in joy and ride off]

22 posted on 08/07/2011 6:54:49 AM PDT by Tainan (Cogito, Ergo Conservitus.)
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To: foundedonpurpose
Nothing indicates whether this is farce or fact, so how does one respond? Knowing Oonabamba as we do it can just as easily be fact as fiction. Oh well, he has done worse than this.
23 posted on 08/07/2011 6:58:42 AM PDT by F.J. Mitchell (Yes Palin CAN defeat the Obamanable snowman!)
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To: foundedonpurpose

Are we sure this is for real...


24 posted on 08/07/2011 7:00:15 AM PDT by shield (Rev 2:9 Woe unto those who say they are Judahites and are not, but are of the syna GOG ue of Satan.)
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To: shield

Heh, Margaritaville anybody?!


25 posted on 08/07/2011 7:03:28 AM PDT by BenKenobi (Honkeys for Herman!)
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To: foundedonpurpose

I truly believe that even a witchdoctor could do a better job than Obama when it comes to economics. The best advice I could give this President is this: when facing an economic question, he should devote an entire day (actually work 8 hours) to come up with the best solution he could come up with. Once he has the solution, he should do the exact opposite. If he just did this, we would all be referring to him as the second coming of Reagan.


26 posted on 08/07/2011 7:03:46 AM PDT by Hoodat (Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. - (Rom 8:37))
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To: foundedonpurpose

Not believable...

because, Obama is a big spender, and bringing in those people would cost less than if he were to go to Kenya for the advice in Air Force One, along with perhaps 200 or 300 people to “assist” him. He would, of course, also bring his wife and children along in Air Force Two, just for the goodwill, of course.


27 posted on 08/07/2011 7:08:49 AM PDT by adorno
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To: foundedonpurpose

Seems appropriate, the song “Witch Doctor”, Alvin and the Chipmunks version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0_-9OI-1QE


28 posted on 08/07/2011 7:29:05 AM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: foundedonpurpose

Is that the pre-1961 colony of Kenya or the post-1963 republic of Kenya?


29 posted on 08/07/2011 7:31:40 AM PDT by trebb ("If a man will not work, he should not eat" From 2 Thes 3)
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To: foundedonpurpose

A witch doctor named Paul Krugman?


30 posted on 08/07/2011 7:42:01 AM PDT by driftless2
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To: foundedonpurpose

“According to anthropological experts, the voodoo practitioners will all try to bring the U.S. economy back from the brink of certain destruction, but even if they fail, they will still get paid, much like real economic advisers and so-called experts.”

Hmm....I doubt even illustrating capitalism in sheep entrails would be enough to give this administration a clue.


31 posted on 08/07/2011 8:15:51 AM PDT by GenXteacher (He that hath no stomach for this fight, let him depart!)
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To: foundedonpurpose
Obama Turning to Witch Doctors For Economic Advice

Family reunion at Camp David?

32 posted on 08/07/2011 8:59:42 AM PDT by varon (Allegiance to the Constitution, always. Allegiance to a party, never!)
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To: foundedonpurpose

Why bring in witch doctors? Are Pelosi and Reid busy?


33 posted on 08/07/2011 9:15:36 AM PDT by Terry Mross (I'll only vote for a SECOND party.)
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To: foundedonpurpose

I just thought of something else. Maybe he’ll copy Reagan’s model. After all, GHW Bush said it was “VooDoo Economics” before Reagan made the biggest mistake of his life and choice him as veep.


34 posted on 08/07/2011 9:17:04 AM PDT by Terry Mross (I'll only vote for a SECOND party.)
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To: foundedonpurpose

So far we’ve had

Christina “bubble ass” Romer
Jared “I’m smarter than Biden” Bernstein
Larry “I switched from physics to economics” Summers
Austan “I can’t wait to get back to Chicago” Goolsbee

so why not try these guys?


35 posted on 08/07/2011 9:19:19 AM PDT by nascarnation
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To: Paladin2

The Wisdom of Calvin Coolidge

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydOe9edT4R4&feature=fvwrel


36 posted on 08/07/2011 12:37:13 PM PDT by KeyLargo
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To: foundedonpurpose

thanks, the link was corrected


37 posted on 08/08/2011 3:54:37 PM PDT by Loud Mime (Democrats: debt, dependence and derision)
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