Posted on 09/30/2011 12:32:48 AM PDT by raccoonradio
What a shocker. I mean, WE were doing so great until Sept. 3. And then THEY had a worse September than Rick Perry.
There is no joy in Shillville.
Worst choke in baseball history, even worse than the Braves this year, the Braves who used to play in Boston, which as someone said yesterday proves that you can take the Braves out of Boston, but you can’t take the Boston out of the Braves.
Everyone chant together, “We’re number three! We’re number three!”
I guess the cream of the Boston sporting press is going to have to find some new rear ends to kiss. “Beanpot Fever Grips Hub!” Prepare for three months of enthralling sports talk.
Host No. 1: “I love Tom Brady.”
Host No. 2: “I love Tom Brady more than you do — I got a lock of his hair when he went to the barbershop!”
Host No. 1: “I got two locks of his hair!”
Host No. 2: “Rah-rah-”
Host No. 1: “Sis-boom-bah.”
But don’t worry. By February, WE’ll have the best team in baseball again. Every jock-sniffer in the city will agree, just like they do every year. Just like the Patriots are a dynasty, even though the last time THEY won a Super Bowl was the year George Bush was re-elected.
The clue on the Red Sox should have been that the Yankees always have players with nicknames such as “Mr. October.” The Red Sox are full of “Mr. Mays,” and I don’t mean Willie.
You know how much fun it is to go to Fenway when WE’re winning. But it’s horrible to pay $30 to park when THEY start losing. WE were so smart to get Carl Crawford last winter, but now it looks like THEY wasted $142 million.
It was like a morgue in some hotbeds of Red Sox worship yesterday. I know, I’m writing this column from a place where seldom — make that never — is heard a discouraging word about THEM. I would have taken some of the mourners out to lunch, but I was afraid they’d make like their heroes and ... choke.
Now the pom-poms are put away. The fatties are looking for their 3-XL Tom Brady No. 12 sweatshirts. Honestly, it would take a heart of stone not to laugh at these guys living in their moms’ basements, calling the shows at midnight, their voices cracking, demanding that baseball add more wild-card teams so the Red Sox could get in. ...
One sweatshirt you won’t see much of for the next few months — No. 58. That belongs to baseball’s best reliever (according to the Red Sox hagiographers), Jonathan Papelboneinhisthroat.
To everyone in Shillville, I leave you with one thought. WE didn’t lose, THEY did.
I understand the Red Sox are getting a new uniform. The come with no shoestrings or belt.
This has been a great September for we Detroit fans. We need an uplifting here in the rust belt.
You’ve got Victor Martinez now, right? Loved him when he was with Red Sox. I had a co-worker at the post office where I work—he has since retired—but he’s a Bronx-born Yankees fan
(comp. with Yankees and Giants tatooes) even though we’re just outside of Boston of course. His name is ALSO Victor Martinez, and when the news came that V.M. came to the Sox he came into work, looked at me, smiled and said, “How the f-—
did I wind up with the Red Sox!” (Well his namesake did!)
Ha! Have heard that one...and I tell people
2012 Red Sox (liberal owners)
—3 left fielders, no CF or RF
—New logo with snazzy RS logo
—Spends even more money, gets even worse results
—New slogan Yes We Can
—In 100th Year, Fenway renamed Ted Kennedy Field
And as I may have said above, it looked for awhile like
the next Red Sox game would be taking place in Florida.
It will! in about 5 months!
Fri column ping
Fri column ping
I hope the Tigers ride Justin Verlander all the way to the championship!
I love this. I love this. I love it.
I am so sick of every dope on ESPN kissing the asses of these losers.
You can be sure a lot of XXL football jerseys are being put on across the country, not just in Massachusetts.
Rangers vs. Tigers for the AL title would be great, but let us not count our chickens...
LOL! Nail ‘em, Howie!
I may be laughing on the outside, but I’m crying on the inside.
This collapse has been quite amusing.
He it hasn’t been so bad for us Bills fans here in Buffalo either. We are 3-0 and coming off of an upset win of that other Boston team, what’s there name.... oh yea, the Patsies. They have that pretty boy QB but ours is way smarter. :-)
It SOX to be anyone in Beantown.
Even if my beloved Rays do not go all the way, at least the Sox do not get to board the bus.
This Red Sox fan is rooting for the Rays. My oldest son and grandson live in St. Pete and we usually go to several Rays games a year. Seems like everytime I go Wakefield is pitching and the Sox are down 5 going into the 5th inning. Hopefully the Sox give Wakefield his Gold watch and a 1 way ticket to Florida so us Sox fans don't have to watch him pitch BP anymore.
Hey Sox fans don’t despair, It Gets Better.
Yes, but unfortunately for you Bills fans, Game #3 does not equal the Superbowl. You’re still 1-15 against the Patriots . . .
I’ll be sure to keep this column in mind the next time Howie’s nose is planted in Mitt’s/Scott’s posterior.
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