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Real homophobes don't Google [barf alert & FR referenced]
sfgate.com ^ | 9 Nov 2011 | Mark Morford

Posted on 11/14/2011 10:23:46 AM PST by smokingfrog

Woe to you, oh modern card-carrying homophobe. For it can't be easy to be you right now, what with all the terrifying changes taking place, all the dramatic sexual upheavals and flagrant displays of "unnatural" love being hurled like exotic sushi in your plain hamburger face these days. Oh, you poor dear.

I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on NASCAR.com in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside.

I see you there, mumbling angrily at how New York has had legal gay marriage for four whole months and so far, no hellfire, chaos, no petrified Christian children melting into goo in the streets. I see you horrified at how seven other states and 10 countries are thriving happily with gay marriage, God apparently not really giving the slightest damn about how anyone expresses their consensual, reverential, wholehearted love, so long as they just do.

To be fair, I suppose it's too soon to tell if the end of DADT means our valiant U.S. military, during our next war, will end up offering the enemy a giant cupcake disco meth party, instead of kicking ass and keeping those pinko commie terrorists from poisoning the beer supply and stealing your HBO.

Did I say HBO? What a shame you have to give that up, no? Same goes for all those other brands, shows, shoes and companies I mentioned above, given how they all openly disrespect you and everything you stand for. Or haven't you heard?

(Excerpt) Read more at sfgate.com ...


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: americahaterant; business; doma; gayrage; hateshernewshoes; mandatorybarfalert; markmorford; mba; morford; queerrage; queerrant; screamingqueen; thattimeofmonth

1 posted on 11/14/2011 10:23:53 AM PST by smokingfrog
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To: smokingfrog
How many stereotypical metaphors can you fit in one paragraph!

Mike

2 posted on 11/14/2011 10:25:54 AM PST by MichaelP (The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools ~HS)
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To: smokingfrog

Written by a Penn Stater?


3 posted on 11/14/2011 10:25:57 AM PST by TigerClaws
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To: smokingfrog
If the poop ever hits the fan in America, the homos will be the first to go. They'll be used for target practice.
What goes around, comes around.
4 posted on 11/14/2011 10:27:34 AM PST by concerned about politics ("Get thee behind me, Liberal")
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To: MichaelP

More than I ever imagined.

I would count them, but I need to check the latest NASCAR standings and then get back to my Shooting Illustrated mag.


5 posted on 11/14/2011 10:27:44 AM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open ( <o> ---)
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To: smokingfrog
I'm suddenly all for Don't Ask, Don't Read.
6 posted on 11/14/2011 10:28:33 AM PST by GreenAccord (Bacon Akbar)
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To: smokingfrog

Mark Morford -—> Teddy Walmart???

Notice you don’t see them in the same room together...Kinda makes you go hmmmmmmmmmm...


7 posted on 11/14/2011 10:28:51 AM PST by stevie_d_64 (I'm jus' sayin')
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To: smokingfrog

I’ve got a fool proof (but disgusting) method of proving that everyone is a “homophobe.”

Walk around with human feces visibly smeared on your hand. Attempt to shake hands with others. Record reaction.

Bam...instant “homophobes,” just like me. Playing in human waste is an aberration, it isn’t normal.


8 posted on 11/14/2011 10:29:20 AM PST by BradWesleyoftheInternet
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To: smokingfrog

We must consider the source.

Then we must get out the disinfectant, vaccines, etc, etc.


9 posted on 11/14/2011 10:29:58 AM PST by Da Coyote (Liberalism - when you absolutely, positively have no ability to produce wealth.)
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To: smokingfrog

This whole article is gay. Seriously gay. It’s so gay... it is a disability. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay AND gay!


10 posted on 11/14/2011 10:30:27 AM PST by momtothree
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To: smokingfrog
Sounds to me like Markie boy has a thing for redneck males...
11 posted on 11/14/2011 10:31:04 AM PST by ejonesie22 (8/30/10, the day Truth won.)
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To: smokingfrog

Mark Morford?!?!?

I thought that pathetic bag o’ sh*t had died of AIDS.


12 posted on 11/14/2011 10:36:50 AM PST by mkjessup (I stand with Herman Cain, a God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Constitution-honoring PATRIOT.)
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To: smokingfrog

They Google and Gargle different stuff.


13 posted on 11/14/2011 10:40:30 AM PST by ImJustAnotherOkie (zerogottago)
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To: smokingfrog

Gee, the author seems to effortlessly combine the most telling attributes of a mean theater critic, a New Jersey guido, a racist po’bucker, and a misogynistic fashion designer into one big, gooey ball of snarky, homophilic hate. I bet he pictures himself a modern day Oscar Wilde.

“She thinks she’s trendy. We know she’s just trashy.”


14 posted on 11/14/2011 10:43:25 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy
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To: smokingfrog

Remind me again why it is bad to pour bleach into your eyes?!? I feel like I need a stout disinfectant.


15 posted on 11/14/2011 10:45:23 AM PST by RobertClark ("Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed")
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To: smokingfrog

Who is (was?) that FReeper that used to post this deviant’s bile...the keywords he collected cracked me up!


16 posted on 11/14/2011 10:46:36 AM PST by spankalib (The Marx-in-the-Parks crowd is a basement skunkworks operation of the AFL-CIO)
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To: momtothree
Gay

Dilute the meaning of grown homosexual men lusting after each others anuses - Use "purifying" synonyms to dissolve the vileness, disgust, and the filth, of the behavior, and leave an "antiseptic" illusion in it's place.

Use, for example, a pleasant word like "Gay" when referring to the behavior instead.

17 posted on 11/14/2011 10:46:41 AM PST by concerned about politics ("Get thee behind me, Liberal")
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To: smokingfrog

Scorn and ridicule are all the Gaystapo have. Seems obvious which side is wallowing in hatred, this dork can’t get enough.


18 posted on 11/14/2011 10:48:24 AM PST by kreitzer
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To: smokingfrog

Hmmm...I don’t use any of those products he lists and I never knew they were anti anti homo.


19 posted on 11/14/2011 10:54:18 AM PST by mamelukesabre
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To: smokingfrog
Since you referenced FR in the headline you could have posted the paragraph to save us the need to go to the site...

Are you not furious, righteous Republican homophobe? I bet you are. I bet you're dialing your angriest, most confused buds right this moment to write letters, post barely punctuated rants to the hate forums on Free Republic, call in to Rush to demand a Tea Party-wide boycott of every single one of these sicko companies.

20 posted on 11/14/2011 10:54:37 AM PST by raybbr (People who still support Obama are either a Marxist or a moron.)
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To: smokingfrog

Mark, first off, homophobia means fear of the same. Not fear of homosexuals.


21 posted on 11/14/2011 11:01:04 AM PST by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: smokingfrog

Homosexuals oppose diversity.


22 posted on 11/14/2011 11:01:39 AM PST by NoLibZone (Sexual Harassment:men touching themselves while wearing only jock straps,gyrating on a parade float)
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To: smokingfrog

They say that SF is the home base of smug Liberal aholes and this guy should be the mayor.

The writing is very juvenile. It is a nanny nanny poo poo We win! kind of screed, in which he makes very broad and sweeping generalizations about imaginary evil foes of the homosexual agenda. To me, it read like it was written by a spoiled teenager and is not to be taken seriously at all.


23 posted on 11/14/2011 11:08:21 AM PST by 240B (he is doing everything he said he wouldn't and not doing what he said he would)
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To: smokingfrog
Mark Morford is a columnist and culture critic for the San Francisco Chronicle and SFGate.com. His opinion column is called Notes & Errata and is published weekly. His topics vary from sex and deviance to popular culture, technology, spirituality, music and politics.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Morford
24 posted on 11/14/2011 11:11:44 AM PST by Vision ("Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40)
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To: momtothree

Ha ha ha, I see you won’t be told which words you’re allowed to use either! Ever since those lame commercials, I use it twice as often as before.


25 posted on 11/14/2011 11:19:41 AM PST by Mich Patriot (I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself. Ronald Reagan)
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To: MichaelP
I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on NASCAR.com in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside.

I do NOT sip Starbucks gingerbread latte!

26 posted on 11/14/2011 11:19:59 AM PST by Oztrich Boy (New gets old. Steampunk is always cool)
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To: 240B
To me, it read like it was written by a spoiled teenager and is not to be taken seriously at all.

And you will note that around here, we don't.

Take it seriously, that is.

I miss the old days when the keyword list on a Miss Morford article would be longer than the text. I saved several of those things.

27 posted on 11/14/2011 11:23:32 AM PST by thulldud (Is it "alter or abolish" time yet?)
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To: smokingfrog

Sandusky is now a columnist?


28 posted on 11/14/2011 11:26:44 AM PST by Travis McGee (www.EnemiesForeignAndDomestic.com)
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To: smokingfrog

I surmise that, in Morford’s view, 90% of the country are “real homophobes.” Like those in California who supported civil unions with the same BENEFITS as marriage for same-sex couples, but not the use of the TERM “marriage.” Yeah, big gay-haters, they.


29 posted on 11/14/2011 11:30:30 AM PST by pogo101
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To: smokingfrog

Among many other things, what an awful and inept writer! This clown can’t but two sentences together without offending the English language. He needs a new gig.


30 posted on 11/14/2011 11:32:12 AM PST by muir_redwoods (Somewhere in Kenya, a village is missing an idiot)
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To: smokingfrog

I haven’t heard from Ms Morford in quite awhile.
Maybe he’s been hanging around Penn State.


31 posted on 11/14/2011 11:36:09 AM PST by Zathras
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To: smokingfrog
I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on NASCAR.com in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside.

I gotta figure out how to turn that camera off my laptop.

(Actually, I don't do porn. :-))

32 posted on 11/14/2011 11:37:23 AM PST by gitmo (Hatred of those who think differently is the left's unifying principle.-Ralph Peters NY Post)
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To: smokingfrog

Oh my.....Mark is having a hissy fit.....must have watched the wizard of oz one too many times to come up with strawman arguments like that.....homosexuality is just partner-assisted masturbation.....Sandusky wasn’t sticking his penis into the anal canal of a ten year old boy because he loved him, he just wanted to get off. He wasn’t raping small boys by putting his penis into the anal canal of a ten year old boy because he wanted to have a baby with him, he was just getting off. Homosexuality - it’s just about power, control and getting off......oh, and money.


33 posted on 11/14/2011 11:42:13 AM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: smokingfrog
Real homophobes don't Google [barf alert & FR referenced]

Since I recognized the name, I was simply going to move on to the next thread. I'm glad I didn't because I can summarize the childish rant in a lot fewer words:

I reject his basic premises. That being "tolerant" of a perversion (for whatever reason) is the same as being all for it.
Second, that if one is homonauseous, he is duty bound to avoid everything pervert related, or perceived pervert-supportive.

The author's addled brain is an all or nothing device, but we knew that.

The third to the last paragraph summarized things nicely :

"Besides, the backwards lug in you and the jaded cynic in me could easily argue that most of these companies couldn't care less about gay rights, per se. They only really care about the money DOMA costs them. They care about health care expenses, administrative overhead, profit and loss. They only care about, you know, capitalism. And everyone knows, capitalism doesn't discriminate. It's an equal opportunity exploiter."

I don't really care what the Herodotus of Sodom-by-the-Bay thinks, nor can I stop laughing at his puerile rules which he assumes we are bound to follow.

I don't have to boycott all of the pervert neutral companies. I CAN avoid a significant number of them, and feel satisfied to do so.

It is effortless. I avoid overtly pervert TV and cable shows like Torchwood, Stargate Universe and Sanctuary, and watch them mercifully self-destruct. I am sure that there are dozens of others, which by luck I have managed to avoid altogether.

My main point is that the perv author himself admits that neutrality is not support, and that the normal have better things to do than take his rantings seriously.

34 posted on 11/14/2011 11:59:37 AM PST by Publius6961 (My world was lovely, until it was taken over by parasites.)
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To: smokingfrog

What a moron.


35 posted on 11/14/2011 12:03:46 PM PST by samtheman
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To: thulldud
I miss the old days when the keyword list on a Miss Morford article would be longer than the text. I saved several of those things.

How about sharing them with us?
We can never have too many laughs...

36 posted on 11/14/2011 12:04:02 PM PST by Publius6961 (My world was lovely, until it was taken over by parasites.)
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To: Mich Patriot

Nope... I am just so tired of all the “you’re a homophobe” stuff. I’m really disgusted by the whole “It gets better” commercials. So, I figure if someone is going to label me a homophobe... then I will oblige!


37 posted on 11/14/2011 12:36:30 PM PST by momtothree
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To: smokingfrog

I’m pretty sure Nineveh felt the same way before God brought the wrath of the nations down upon her. God will not fail; He will bring wrath to impenitent sinners. It may take Him a hundred years, but He will do it.

Exodus 34:6-7 (ESV):

“The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”


38 posted on 11/14/2011 12:46:22 PM PST by RecoveringPaulisto
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To: Publius6961
How about sharing them with us? We can never have too many laughs...

I would do it happily, except those things are on a system I can't reach until Friday.

39 posted on 11/14/2011 12:57:47 PM PST by thulldud (Is it "alter or abolish" time yet?)
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To: smokingfrog

As there is NO such thing as Freedom of Speech left in America—especially anywhere near a College Campus or Law School. Given all the anti-Christian animus in our post modern society. I intend to fix the street side of my recently enclosed carport by hanging a large wooden cross -and inscribing next to it April 1607 Cape Henry — 1935 when the large wooden cross erected by Captain Smith and crew was Memorialized with a large cross of stone. it is NOT Congress it can make no law respecting an establishment of religion , or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; as it is written : For the preaching of the Cross is to them that are perishing -foolishness; but us that are saved it is the power of God.” as it was/ is a reflection of the first symbol erected in a New World by a people who would become Americans. I will honor the Cross.
Oh —and to those who call everybody who questions the reprobate lifestyle choice —homophobe-— I will NOT compromise what is written and what I believe true for you so you can feel part of the American experience. I prefer Jefferson’s enlightened proposal (back then the penalty for buggery was death — I think castration for males so convicted— and the boring of a hole through the cartilage of the nose 1/2 in. in dia. of any female convicted of sodomy would be interesting.And much more humane than death—eh?


40 posted on 11/14/2011 1:38:22 PM PST by StonyBurk (ring)
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To: momtothree

Oh I know. I’m at LEAST a homophobe, racist, fascist, tea-bagging, and who knows what else. I wear them all with pride, I guess. The labels mean nothing anymore.

NO more PC bullcrap for me, either. I’m calling everything as I see it...people can grow thicker skin if they need to.


41 posted on 11/14/2011 1:43:49 PM PST by Mich Patriot (I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself. Ronald Reagan)
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To: Vision; smokingfrog; little jeremiah; wagglebee
Mark, first off, homophobia means fear of the same. Not fear of homosexuals.

Actually, there is a condition called homophobia. It's clinically defined, and it is characterized by e.g. extreme -- as in, eye-bulging, see-the-whites-all-the-way-around, unreasoning fear of homosexuality or homosexual men.

Movement gays -- pervs, that is -- have systematically abused the word in an attempt to turn it into a term of political abuse of normal people, as they were counseled to do by Marshall Kirk and "Erastes Pill" (Hunter Madsen) in "Overhauling Straight America" (later expanded to book length as After the Ball). Quoting them in "Overhauling":

At a later stage of the media campaign for gay rights-long after other gay ads have become commonplace-it will be time to get tough with remaining opponents. To be blunt, they must be vilified.

As shown in the article at the head of the thread.

Quote Source (cold):
http://library.gayhomeland.org/0018/EN/EN_Overhauling_Straight.htm

42 posted on 11/14/2011 1:49:23 PM PST by lentulusgracchus (Concealed carry is a pro-life position.)
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To: smokingfrog

There is something worse than a “homophobe” - a heterophobe.


43 posted on 11/14/2011 2:00:40 PM PST by Wuli
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To: Publius6961

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44 posted on 11/14/2011 3:54:49 PM PST by JOAT
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To: JOAT
Thank you for those keywords.
Hilarious!

I must have missed a few threads back then when most of my time was spent at work. Working.

45 posted on 11/14/2011 8:57:59 PM PST by Publius6961 (My world was lovely, until it was taken over by parasites.)
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