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(-:THE OFFICIAL WEDNESDAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING BECAUSE NO 1 WILL BE @ FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-)

Posted on 11/23/2011 5:01:14 AM PST by Lucky9teen

I am thankful for the Friday Silliness Thread....especially when it comes early......

(like on Wednesday, because Friday most people won't be around, because they'll be recovering from Thanksgiving....or worse......shopping!)

So...here is some Thanksgiving humor

Horn of Plenty When a music student brought his French horn to my shop for repair, he complained that the instrument “felt stuffy” and he couldn’t blow air through it. It’s not unusual to find partial blockages in brass instruments if small items get lodged in the tubing, but when I tested the instrument, the horn was completely blocked. After much probing and prodding, a small tangerine dropped out of the bell.

“Oh,” said the musician when I handed him the fruit. Seeing the bewildered look on my face, he explained, “My mom used the horn for a cornucopia in a Thanksgiving centerpiece.” – Contributed by Mark L. Madden

Holiday Heavyweights The checkout clerk at the supermarket was unusually cheerful even though it was near closing time. “You must have picked up a ton of groceries today,” a customer said to the checker. “How can you stay so pleasant?”

“We can all count our blessings,” the clerk replied. “The hardest part of this job is the turkeys and the watermelons. I just thank God that Thanksgiving doesn’t come in July.” – Contributed by L. Proctor

The Turkey Wishbone My grandfather always had the knack of saying the right thing. One Thanksgiving we explained to my younger brother the custom of breaking the turkey wishbone. Eager to have his wish come true, little Philip was bitterly disappointed when he saw that he held the small end of the bone, while his grandfather had the larger part.

“That’s all right, my boy,” said his smiling grandfather. “My wish was that you would get yours.” – Contributed by Linda Ann Loschiavo

Guest Relations Our eldest daughter, Ann, invited her college roommate to join our large family for Thanksgiving dinner. As families sometimes do, we got into a lively argument over a trivial subject until we remembered we had a guest in our midst. There was an immediate, embarrassed silence.

“Please don’t worry about me,” she said. “I was brought up in a family too.” – Contributed by Garrison H. McClure

Be Careful Who You Let Set The Table

This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake).   One day I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?  Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. You guessed it! When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!   (Author Unknown)

Where is That Bird?

In the 70's my mom had a minor stroke. She recovered just fine. Her memory was iffy for about 6 mos. afterward. When Thanksgiving came around she announced that she couldn't do all that cooking, but that she would buy the turkey if one of my older sisters would cook it and bring it over. Everyone agreed that would be fine.

She went out and bought a 30 lb. frozen Tom Turkey. Then she called my oldest sister and said, "I've got the bird. It's in a pan on the kitchen table defrosting. Come and get it".

The following day, my sister comes over, sees that mom is sound asleep, leaves her a note, and takes the turkey.

I get off the bus from school and am approaching our house when I see half the local police dept's cars in front of our house. I panic and go racing toward the house and am met by three or four cops coming out the door chuckling to themselves. (????????)

I ask, "What's going on? Is my mom ok?"

They say, "oh yeah... she's just fine. Just a little confused is all. She called the station 6 times all in a panic saying someone stole her turkey!!!!"

I explain the story to them and they say, "Yeah...we searched the house for her and didn't see any signs of break in except a note from someone named Patty saying she's got the bird" !!!

They printed this story in the local paper under the crime watch section.!!!

For years after that around Thanksgiving, people would call and say. "Hey Marilynn...keep tabs on your turkey this year" !!!!!  JasperDale

A Mom's Prank Backfires

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs! (allpix.com)


How to Liven up Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught" and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date. You were worried for nothing."
 



TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: blackfriday; ofst; silliness; thanksgiving
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And, how many are going shopping on Black Friday?

 









Kohl's Commercial Black Friday! (spoof on Rebecca Blacks "Friday")







1 posted on 11/23/2011 5:01:22 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

TURKEY DAY IS THE BOMB



CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST


Have a Happy Thanksgiving my FReeper FRiends!!!!

2 posted on 11/23/2011 5:04:33 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

ibtp!


3 posted on 11/23/2011 5:04:59 AM PST by absolootezer0 (2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
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To: absolootezer0
Your Thanksgiving Personality is Thankful
At Thanksgiving, all you want is a warm bed to sleep in and a home cooked meal to eat. As long as you have those things, you're grateful.
You're able to rise above any of the stress or drama associated with the holidays. You are just happy for what you have.

Whether it's been the best or worst year of your life, you take this day to count your blessings... no matter how small they might be.
And if possible, you try to help someone in need - anyone from a hungry stranger to a lonely friend.
What's Your Thanksgiving Personality?
pr.....Take another THANKSGIVING Quiz

4 posted on 11/23/2011 5:08:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

5 posted on 11/23/2011 5:09:20 AM PST by TSgt ("Romney" means "rino cult" in Kenyan)
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To: Lucky9teen

6 posted on 11/23/2011 5:11:15 AM PST by TSgt ("Romney" means "rino cult" in Kenyan)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Thanksgiving!

7 posted on 11/23/2011 5:13:12 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Lucky9teen

Bird is the word!

Happy Thanksgiving!


8 posted on 11/23/2011 5:27:33 AM PST by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Lucky9teen

10?


9 posted on 11/23/2011 5:32:34 AM PST by goseminoles
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To: Lucky9teen

Sweet tgiw


10 posted on 11/23/2011 5:41:16 AM PST by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: Lucky9teen

11 posted on 11/23/2011 5:47:25 AM PST by notsofastmyfriend (He is the life of parties he has never attended...)
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To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY!
12 posted on 11/23/2011 5:52:01 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!!
13 posted on 11/23/2011 5:52:50 AM PST by Rummyfan (Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
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To: Lucky9teen

14 posted on 11/23/2011 5:55:38 AM PST by notsofastmyfriend (He is the life of parties he has never attended...)
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To: Lucky9teen

15 posted on 11/23/2011 5:57:20 AM PST by notsofastmyfriend (He is the life of parties he has never attended...)
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To: Lucky9teen

In before 20!

Happy Thanksgiving, Lucky9teen!


16 posted on 11/23/2011 5:57:44 AM PST by exit82 (Democrats are the enemies of freedom. We have ideas-the Dems only have ideology.)
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To: Lucky9teen

Top 20?


17 posted on 11/23/2011 6:05:05 AM PST by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lucky9teen

IATP!!


18 posted on 11/23/2011 6:05:39 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Thanksgiving, Lucky9teen and everyone!


19 posted on 11/23/2011 6:06:36 AM PST by unkus (Silence Is Consent)
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To: Lucky9teen
WKRP Turkey Drop in 30 Seconds
20 posted on 11/23/2011 6:09:28 AM PST by notsofastmyfriend (He is the life of parties he has never attended...)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Thanksgiving to all the “sillies” here!

Lucky I thank you again for all the work you do each week for a fun opening. Everyone’s contributions are so cute. I will jump in eventually when life maybe stops being so crazy but I will be humbled by the wit & clever things you all post! Hope I wont be too boring

Smooch from ohio to everyone!


21 posted on 11/23/2011 6:19:45 AM PST by DollyCali (Don't tell God how big your storm is... tell your storm how BIG your God is!)
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To: Lucky9teen
Yes! Pleasant Wednesday surprise!


22 posted on 11/23/2011 6:22:25 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: notsofastmyfriend

One of the funniest Thanksgiving clips ever.

IIRC, they or another classic tv comedy program did a similar ‘stunt’ — they dropped frozen turkeys because they didn’t want live turkeys dropping all over the place. Of course, next came scenes of 20-30 lb frozen turkeys smashing windows, denting car hoods and tops, and splattering in the parking lots. It was almost as hysterical as the live drop.


23 posted on 11/23/2011 7:04:25 AM PST by TomGuy
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To: Lucky9teen

IN!


24 posted on 11/23/2011 7:05:53 AM PST by Monkey Face (It's always darkest just before it goes totally black. <My mother said it first.>)
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To: Lucky9teen
"Mom's Prank" reminds me of how I punked my little sister (maybe 10 years old) years ago....at the time, I managed the office of a cold storage warehouse and would get customer goodies at the holidays, such as game hens, toikeys, etc.

Since I was unmarried and had received the above, I volunteered to bring the bird to the parents' home. When I got there, I took the boxed individual toikey out, and replaced it with a small cornish hen.....I took it inside and drew little sis aside and asked her "opinion" if this would be enough to cover the family.

She was mortified......

25 posted on 11/23/2011 7:06:08 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: Lucky9teen
"Mom's Prank" reminds me of how I punked my little sister (maybe 10 years old) years ago....at the time, I managed the office of a cold storage warehouse and would get customer goodies at the holidays, such as game hens, toikeys, etc.

Since I was unmarried and had received the above, I volunteered to bring the bird to the parents' home. When I got there, I took the boxed individual toikey out, and replaced it with a small cornish hen.....I took it inside and drew little sis aside and asked her "opinion" if this would be enough to cover the family.

She was mortified......

26 posted on 11/23/2011 7:19:34 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: ErnBatavia

Ok, life is good. I’m very thankful because I just got a $700 bonus. WOOHOO!!!


27 posted on 11/23/2011 7:44:09 AM PST by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen; Carry_Okie; clamper1797; EggsAckley; expat_brit; hedgetrimmer; Jack Black; jahp; ...

The KFC franchise in our business-hostile town just closed. Really.


28 posted on 11/23/2011 7:47:31 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen
IIRC, that's actually a chicken.

Dokken vs. Chicken

29 posted on 11/23/2011 8:02:17 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (I've tried to think like a liberal, but I can't get my head far enough up my behind...)
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To: Lucky9teen

I will be working, not shopping, on Friday so I will personally read the Friday Silliness Thread.


30 posted on 11/23/2011 8:22:09 AM PST by BunnySlippers (I LOVE BULL MARKETS . . .)
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To: Lucky9teen
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

31 posted on 11/23/2011 8:39:49 AM PST by dragonblustar (Allah Ain't So Akbar!)
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To: martin_fierro

32 posted on 11/23/2011 9:17:39 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: TomGuy

That was on WKRP in Cincinnati. At the end of the episode
the station manager, Mr. Carlson (Gordon Jump) said, “As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly.” (During the
stunt, newsman Les Nessman (Richard Carlson) describes:
“and...they’re turkeys! Oh, the humanity!”—as shoppers flee in terror.)


33 posted on 11/23/2011 9:22:40 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: raccoonradio

an oh wait, you mean frozen turkeys...I think WKRP they were live... oh well!


34 posted on 11/23/2011 9:23:23 AM PST by raccoonradio
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To: Lucky9teen

I am thankful for my silly FRiend named Lucky9teen.


35 posted on 11/23/2011 9:24:54 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: CSM
I am thankful for my silly FRiend named Lucky9teen.

Seconded! Your the best, Lucky. Happy Thanksgiving.

36 posted on 11/23/2011 9:27:09 AM PST by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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Photobucket

Engrish FAIL!

37 posted on 11/23/2011 9:28:28 AM PST by Clay Moore (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: Lucky9teen

I rarely post to the thread but I ALWAYS read it, and am thankful that you take the time to put it together every week!

Thank you,
Jim


38 posted on 11/23/2011 11:11:01 AM PST by IYellAtMyTV (Je t'aime, faire du bruit comme le cochon.)
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To: IYellAtMyTV

39 posted on 11/23/2011 11:13:41 AM PST by Scythian
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To: Scythian

40 posted on 11/23/2011 11:33:37 AM PST by Scythian
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To: CSM
I am thankful for my silly FRiend named Lucky9teen.

Me too!! And Happy Thanksgiving to all!
41 posted on 11/23/2011 11:56:41 AM PST by gimme1ibertee ("Criticism......brings attention to an unhealthy state of things"-Winston Churchill)
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To: Lucky9teen

42 posted on 11/23/2011 12:11:38 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Rummyfan; Lucky9teen; All

43 posted on 11/23/2011 12:17:05 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: dragonblustar

44 posted on 11/23/2011 12:18:25 PM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Lucky9teen

Happy Thanksgiving to all. I am thankful for the Official Friday Silliness thread - even when it is on Wednesday. A week without OFST is like a week of NBC TV. Don’t even want to think about it.


45 posted on 11/23/2011 12:36:25 PM PST by kevinm13 (Tim Geithner is a tax cheat. Manmade "Global Warming" is a HOAX!)
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To: Lucky9teen
I am thankful for my silly FRiend named Lucky9teen.

Me three or four!!! I'm thankful for Lucky and the Friday Sillies! They are the best! And I'm thankful for all the Freepers! God bless you all!

46 posted on 11/23/2011 12:40:29 PM PST by dragonblustar (Allah Ain't So Akbar!)
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To: Lucky9teen; SortaBichy
Three dogs are sitting around the vet's waiting room and get to comparing notes as to why they're there.....dog number one says he digs everywhere and his owner is going to have his gnuts cut off to maybe calm him down.

The second one says he pees everywhere - inside and out - and his owner is also having him neutered with the same hopes.

They get around to the third pup, and he declares "I hump everything in sight; furniture, mailbox, legs, you name it." - so, of course the first two assume he's there for the same procedure.

The third dog goes on, however...."This morning my owner was bent over drying off after her shower and I just couldn't help myself."

"Wow" exclaim the first two - "you're going to get ALL your goods removed then!"

"No - she just brought me in to get my nails trimmed...."

47 posted on 11/23/2011 12:56:44 PM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: kevinm13

48 posted on 11/23/2011 1:52:04 PM PST by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Clay Moore
I hate to tell you, but no fail.

That's a real term for a type of fastener.

The more prudish types call them ‘binding post’ fasteners or ‘architectural bolts’.

49 posted on 11/23/2011 1:53:54 PM PST by El Sordo (The bigger the government, the smaller the citizen.)
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To: Lucky9teen


50 posted on 11/23/2011 1:57:01 PM PST by Godzilla (3/7/77)
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