Skip to comments.Dealing with gay family member situation (vanity)
Posted on 12/08/2011 11:52:02 AM PST by AUJenn
We have a close family member who decided a few years ago that she was gay. I say 'decided' because up until then, she had always dated men and was actually about to get married. It came as a huge shock to everyone and has taken a while to get used to. She has had the same partner since she announced her lifestyle change. It has been difficult for me and other family members to accept and get used to their living arrangements, lifestyle, etc, especially on holidays. But as time has gone on, I have accepted this is how she is going to live and there is nothing I can do about it. But I don't like it.
I have always been polite and cordial because I see no sense in being rude or hostile. And if I were hateful, it would just give conservatives/Christians a bad name IMO, and would add fuel to their fire. That being said....she has announced that she and her partner are having a baby. The partner is pregnant. This has really thrown us for a loop, as we never expected this to happen.
It so happens that I have a small child and am expecting again, so it really makes me think. I am completely against their doing this. But I have no idea how to publicly act or respond to this situation - especially at upcoming family holiday events. I don't feel like happily telling them 'congratulations!' or talking about baby things. I think about how this poor kid is going to feel about his/her parent situation, or how I'm going to explain to my children why this baby 'has two moms' and on and on.
If anyone has a gay family member or has been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handle it. Thank you -
He can have a bachelor uncle, but he will not have a gay uncle.
Except that he does have a gay uncle.
Your son will discover, long before you know it. He will begin to sense it in the way the uncle is treated differently from the other family members. Anyone thinking kids don’t sense this kind of thing is kidding themselves.
For those that will post to support her ask them if they had a brother humping dogs would they call that a “lifestyle” and accept it as well?
Scripter has been one of the most valuable members of FR since the first day I signed up in 2002. He knows more about homosexuality than probably any other person on FR. He also is a wise, kind and faithful man. For you to slam him like that makes me want to puke.
Are you a homosexual or something? Is that why his knowledge of the truth offends you so much you have to insult him?
Why are you promoting homosexuality on FR?
Think of your own children first. This is IMO an insoluble
situation, if one is trying to maintain good relations
and personal contact with the family as a whole, assuming
they accept the other pair. This is not a *stable* situation.
Be prepared to be faced with demands to legitimate more
and more abnormality. It’s insoluble especially as concerns
the other child.
I know. Threads like these sure attract a lot of pro-faggot trolls.
It's about how it will affect her children. If her children see her accepting homosexual behavior and relationships as though they are normal and natural this will affect her children. It is a problem.
When he is old enough to figure it out on his own, he is old enough to figure it out on his own, however, I intend to raise him with traditional conservative values and exposing him to homosexual telationships at 3 years old will only serve to normalize it. FWIW, my neice and nephew are 11 and14 & still havent figured it out. He isnt a flamer and there really would be no way of knowing unless there is exposure. Heck, nobody in the family knew or suspected anything until he came out as “bi” last year.
After years of keeping my mouth shut so as not to upset anyone, I finally got to the point where I decided that although I love my brother, my children come first. And to be honest, I am furious with my brother for putting me in this position. As all gatherings were at my house, I finally had to tell him that if he could not get her to control her behavior she would be unwelcome in my home in the future.
He stopped bringing her, and everyone else in my family was hugely relieved because she made everyone uncomfortable but no one else wanted to be the bad guy.
Now, this last Thanksgiving was at my sister's house, and my brother brought his woman. She behaved as she always has. As I no longer have gatherings at my house, my choice will now be that my family will no longer attend family gatherings and will spend holidays with friends instead.
As a mother you have to do what is right for your children regardless of whether or not other people think you are doing the right thing.
It’s amazing, and some of them are really nasty and aggressive and hateful.
Love the child and be decent to the parents, for that is who they will be to this baby. The pair probably knows you don’t approve and you won’t have any effect spouting your disapproval. Keep your relations with them to the group family events and keep your mouth shut, as youwould wish to be
Respected for your views and lifestyle by others.
Your concern about the child being used as a pawn to
crack open AUJenn’s door is well founded. Not only
that, she can expect requests and well publicized
disapproval if she refuses to allow her children to visit
the other two women’s household unaccompanied, or
to refuse their offers to babysit, etc. That’s the way
it’s going to be.
You’re pregnant. You have the perfect excuse to avoid any conversation. Queasy. Anything that becomes uncomfortable, excuse yourself holding your tummy with your hand over your mouth.
Look, from someone with a lesbian nouveau sister, unless someone (hetero or homo) is sucking face or playing touchie at the table, you can put up with anything. Because this is one lousy day that you have to put up with it. Next year, there will be a new baby that needs your love and your own baby to help you avoid the unwanted conversations.
I entirely forgot that AUJenn is being asked to legitimate
depriving a child of its father. Thanks for the reminder.
This is however, a more serious situation than being
faced with a woman opting for “single parenthood”
A good number of them.
You might want to rethink that. Those that push or condone homosexuality on FR are zotted. Homosexuality is a liberal “value” and NOT conservative.
And perhaps you just haven't come across a behavior you're not willing to tolerate. Think about that.
Who is talking about alienating? Stop, read and think.
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