Skip to comments.Dealing with gay family member situation (vanity)
Posted on 12/08/2011 11:52:02 AM PST by AUJenn
We have a close family member who decided a few years ago that she was gay. I say 'decided' because up until then, she had always dated men and was actually about to get married. It came as a huge shock to everyone and has taken a while to get used to. She has had the same partner since she announced her lifestyle change. It has been difficult for me and other family members to accept and get used to their living arrangements, lifestyle, etc, especially on holidays. But as time has gone on, I have accepted this is how she is going to live and there is nothing I can do about it. But I don't like it.
I have always been polite and cordial because I see no sense in being rude or hostile. And if I were hateful, it would just give conservatives/Christians a bad name IMO, and would add fuel to their fire. That being said....she has announced that she and her partner are having a baby. The partner is pregnant. This has really thrown us for a loop, as we never expected this to happen.
It so happens that I have a small child and am expecting again, so it really makes me think. I am completely against their doing this. But I have no idea how to publicly act or respond to this situation - especially at upcoming family holiday events. I don't feel like happily telling them 'congratulations!' or talking about baby things. I think about how this poor kid is going to feel about his/her parent situation, or how I'm going to explain to my children why this baby 'has two moms' and on and on.
If anyone has a gay family member or has been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handle it. Thank you -
With my cousin I use it as a means of proving her beliefs about conservatives wrong. She knows I think its wrong but I treat her and her partner the same as anyone else in the family.
what if it turned out she had decided to become a cultist who worshiped [insert evil here]?
Obviously there would be no supportive fakery about that. This hedonist has TOTAL authority over her natural offspring and there is no doubt she will teach this child to hate christians or anything that does not support the homosexual agenda.
there is no suffer fools gladly exception to family.
I would welcome her to my home, not her partner.That's another way of saying "don't welcome her". I can't imagine anyone accepting such a rude excuse for an "invitation".
“That baby is going to need loving family members, just as your children need. Do it. Be there for the child.
Only thing to do with a family member is try to love them, and let them know it. You might explain that you don’t want your children exposed to homosexuality, and ask her to respect that. If she can’t, it might be time to part ways. Your responsibility is towards your children first.
Why not accept the fact that not everyone will be the way you want them to be?
No the child is already lost.
There is no BS about loving example. Homosexuals are very clear on this. anyone who does not endorse homosexuals is wrong and must be silenced as a matter of law.
“for the child” is mere self delusion.
I have a sister who is a lesbian, and unfortunately also an Obama supporter. It's not much of a problem, since she lives in the midwest.
How do the homosexuals behave in public? Are they demonstrative or are they sensitive to how their presence will affect others?
I ask, because I too was in a similar situation. My niece excitedly told me she was bringing her new boyfriend to my annual Christmas Eve party. The thing is, her “boyfriend” was a female transvestite. Since this is a family party, we expected young people of all ages to come. It was a PG family type of event.
I immediately consulted with my family about how to respond, because I recognized it would affect their relationship with my niece, perhaps forever. We decided to email back that she is perfectly welcome to attend, and if she would like to come with her friend, she too is welcome. But the friend was not to be introduced as her “boyfriend,” and there was not to be any displays of public affection. We were there to celebrate the birth of our Lord, and we did not want our niece confusing little children by introducing a woman as a man, in our home, on that day.
My niece never came that year. However, I’m still friends with my niece who has since broken up with her transvestite partner. The transvestite became physically abusive and my niece realized she had chosen poorly. As far as I know, my niece has returned to a straight lifestyle. We continue to warmly correspond regularly, and have never mentioned the incident again.
May God grant you wisdom on how to deal with this situation.
That they would subject a child to the wickedness they have chosen is going to be a huge challenge in that child’s life. Prayer is going to be a very important for all of them.
I would treat them with the same respect that I would give to any person unless they wanted to make an issue about it with me. If my kids had questions I would answer them honestly. Their relationship is none of my business and my opinion is none of their concern. Of course if they were slobbering all over each other I would ask them to stop if they were in my home. If they were in theirs or another’s I would probably leave. If they demanded my approval I would tell them exactly how I felt.
I feel that homosexuality is a perversion. I don’t care what other people do as long as it doesn’t harm me. I don’t want to see it or hear about it because I find it repulsive. If I were at a family gathering and someone gay was there I would be civil but I probably would find someone else to talk to.
so you have to accept putting them in the same bed for overnight visits?
There is no reason to expose other children to this in the identical way that parents protect their children from child predators.
Lots of good advice already. Love the sinner, hate the sin. It’s hard. Any child needs love. Yours and hers. IF she asks your opinion, give it...but add that your love is there. Otherwise, keep quiet. That includes around other family members....they just love to tattle on you when you are not there. Treat her child with respect and love, the rest will work itself out. Pray for them, but don’t try to intervene. They have set their course and you can mitigate it with your prayers only. Forgive them and move on. Your children will be fine.
the second she brought her fetish sex partner into the family event she made it your business.
there is no passive go along to get along because it only endorses the bad conduct in front of your children.
There is right and wrong, and kombaya blindness is only teaching endorsement to your children.
I’ve read all the answers on this thread, and I think the best answer was written by the person who started it. That would be you. You might also try an ancient technique that I often forget about - pray.
What are you talking about?
Bingo! You can spend so much time bending over backwards not to offend the homosexual relative, that you can forget what example you are setting for your own children. Little Johnny and Susie are certainly going to get enough pro-homosexual drek from the media and school that they certainly need a firm example at home. They might say, "Mom tells us Homosexuality is wrong, but she doesn't have a problem with Aunt Joan and her partner." Maybe it isn't really that bad." That not to say that you should make a scene at every family getogether or start preaching against homosexuality. You can be polite, but keep your distance.