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(-:(-:(-:THE SUBSTITUTE FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)
December 30, 2011

Posted on 12/30/2011 6:42:49 AM PST by BenLurkin

(-:(-:(-:THE SUBSTITUTE FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

Celebrating approaching New Year with Some Silliness

BenLurkin here, doing my best to stand in for the vacationing Lucky9teen one more time. Keep your fingers crossed…

Auld Lang Syne

Auld Lang Syne was partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700's, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. Early variations of the song were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, 'Auld Lang Syne' literally means 'old long ago,' or simply, 'the good old days.'

Here are the lyrics: however, many people seem to remember only the first verse. Old Ben only remembers the first two lines. Then he sings “so fa la la la la fa la la Old Lang Sign,”

Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?
And here's a hand, my trusty friend
And gie's a hand o' thine
We'll tak'A cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne.






TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: silliness
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1 posted on 12/30/2011 6:42:54 AM PST by BenLurkin
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To: BenLurkin

Woohoo!!! It’s Friday!! Last one of the year!!!AC


2 posted on 12/30/2011 6:44:34 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: ShadowAce

3 posted on 12/30/2011 6:46:05 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: BenLurkin
A man goes into a bar and asks for 2 double martinis. "Wow," the bartender says, "it's only 2:00. You must have had a really bad day."
"Yeah," the man replies. "First I had an accident on the way to work that made me 2 hours late for a meeting with an important client. Then my boss fired me for being late. So I went home and found my wife in bed with my best friend. I told her I was leaving her, packed my bags, and came here."
"That is pretty bad," says the bartender. "What did you say to your best friend?"

"Bad dog!"

OK...it's old...but it's funny!!!

4 posted on 12/30/2011 6:47:03 AM PST by Logic n' Reason (N/A)
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To: BenLurkin

Bump!


5 posted on 12/30/2011 6:47:32 AM PST by Nateman (If liberals are not screaming you are doing it wrong!)
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To: BenLurkin

wooooooooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo TGIF


6 posted on 12/30/2011 6:47:44 AM PST by Currentriverrat (People are calling our President the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers, that's not allowed is it?)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2008: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2010: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight. 2011: I will work out 3 days a week.
2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

7 posted on 12/30/2011 6:50:27 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...

Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2008: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2010: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight. 2011: I will work out 3 days a week.
2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

8 posted on 12/30/2011 6:52:42 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

WOW, top 10?!?!?


9 posted on 12/30/2011 6:52:57 AM PST by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: BenLurkin

10 posted on 12/30/2011 6:53:17 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: dayglored

11 posted on 12/30/2011 6:56:46 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: ShadowAce

LOL @ IE

I am still learning Win7 on my new desktop and laptop. They kept wanting to upgrade from IE8 to IE9. I did, first on the laptop. Parts of IE9 would not work, so I finally deleted it and returned to IE8.

Later, my new desktop wanted to upgrade. I did. Didn’t work. Anything I tried to type into the address bar defaulted to the open webpage, not the one I wanted to surf to. I finally deleted it and returned to IE8.

Firefox is my main browser, but I wish they would stop with insanity with new releases every few weeks. I am still waiting for updates to pre-version 7 extensions.


12 posted on 12/30/2011 6:57:21 AM PST by TomGuy
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To: ShadowAce

13 posted on 12/30/2011 6:57:27 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

Thanks for taking on the silliness thread last week and this week. you’re doing a great job!!


14 posted on 12/30/2011 6:58:21 AM PST by sunny48
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To: TomGuy

15 posted on 12/30/2011 6:59:44 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

http://www.johnspeedie.com/healy/dog.wav


16 posted on 12/30/2011 7:00:50 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: ErnBatavia

17 posted on 12/30/2011 7:03:17 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Logic n' Reason; SortaBichy
Similar one that ends with the guy having ordered 12 straight shots - to be delivered all at once.

Barkeep axes "what's the special occasion?" and the guy replies, "It was my first BJ"

The bartender tells him, "Well, let me give you a thirteenth on the house", but the guy declines, by way of "Nah - if 12 don't get rid of the taste, another won't make any difference".

18 posted on 12/30/2011 7:05:25 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: BenLurkin
You are doing a great job - thanks.

I remember Alan Sherman had a version of Auld Lang Syne that went something like:

I know a man, his name is Lang
And he has a neon sign,
And Mr. Lang is 93,
So they called it old Lang's sign.

19 posted on 12/30/2011 7:12:53 AM PST by Overwatcher
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To: BenLurkin

20 posted on 12/30/2011 7:15:02 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: sunny48

21 posted on 12/30/2011 7:18:28 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin; Lucky9teen
Thanks for caring on the great TOFST !!

Happy New Year !!

22 posted on 12/30/2011 7:18:53 AM PST by TexasCajun
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To: TexasCajun

23 posted on 12/30/2011 7:20:48 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: Overwatcher; All

24 posted on 12/30/2011 7:24:22 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

25 posted on 12/30/2011 7:25:00 AM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: Liberty Valance

26 posted on 12/30/2011 7:26:59 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

27 posted on 12/30/2011 7:30:49 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Liberty Valance

LOL at post #25.


28 posted on 12/30/2011 7:31:49 AM PST by Ronald_Magnus
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To: martin_fierro

29 posted on 12/30/2011 7:35:06 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin; SunkenCiv; Slings and Arrows; Constitution Day; Tijeras_Slim; Eaker
Dudes.

I am making a freaking fortune.

30 posted on 12/30/2011 7:42:21 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Logic n' Reason

31 posted on 12/30/2011 7:43:15 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

32 posted on 12/30/2011 7:47:11 AM PST by red-dawg
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To: BenLurkin

Woohoo!! Last Friday of the year ping !


33 posted on 12/30/2011 7:47:38 AM PST by wyokostur
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To: BenLurkin
Love the cat!!!

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night after they dropped him off from the bar. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the drunk.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch this" the drunk replied.
He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "You asshole..it's three-fifteen in the morning!"

No cat for him!!!

34 posted on 12/30/2011 7:50:18 AM PST by Logic n' Reason (N/A)
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To: BenLurkin

Well-done,sir!!! There will be glowing reports to the Thread Headmaster!!! :)


35 posted on 12/30/2011 7:58:54 AM PST by gimme1ibertee ("Criticism......brings attention to an unhealthy state of things"-Winston Churchill)
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To: wyokostur

36 posted on 12/30/2011 8:31:51 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

37 posted on 12/30/2011 8:35:27 AM PST by InvisibleChurch ( go in peace , serve the Lord)
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To: BenLurkin

Thanks for finishing the year with a strong silliness thread....


38 posted on 12/30/2011 8:44:28 AM PST by CSM (Keeper of the "Dave Ramsey Fan" ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: gimme1ibertee


39 posted on 12/30/2011 8:46:27 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: All
The future of our healthcare courtesy of Mr Bean...
40 posted on 12/30/2011 8:46:55 AM PST by KevinDavis (Ron Paul called Ronald Reagan a miserable failure.....)
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My New Years resolution has been the same for many years :

Keep breathing


41 posted on 12/30/2011 8:50:52 AM PST by woofie (It takes three villages and a forest of woodland creatures to raise a child in Obamaville)
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To: CSM

42 posted on 12/30/2011 8:51:19 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: KevinDavis

43 posted on 12/30/2011 8:52:15 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: woofie

44 posted on 12/30/2011 8:53:18 AM PST by BenLurkin (This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both)
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To: BenLurkin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJSI0FDVZxU


45 posted on 12/30/2011 8:55:34 AM PST by woofie (It takes three villages and a forest of woodland creatures to raise a child in Obamaville)
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To: BenLurkin

An Irishman an Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney.

The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

“But” said the Scotsman. “I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there’s a little bar called McTavish’s. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he will buy the5th drink for you.”

“Well.” said the Englishman “At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2.”

“Ahhh that’s nothin’” said the Irishman “Back home in Dublin there’s Ryan’s Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you’ve had enough drink they’ll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house.”

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman’s claims.

He swears every word is true.

“Well” said the Englishman “Did this actually happen to you?”

“Not myself personally no” said the Irishman, “But it did happen to my sister.”


46 posted on 12/30/2011 8:57:46 AM PST by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: BenLurkin

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.

He says, “So what’s bothering you, dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?”

She says, “That he did, Father...”

The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”

She says, “He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...’”


47 posted on 12/30/2011 8:58:56 AM PST by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: BenLurkin

A Chinese couple gets married, and she’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: “My daring,” he says, “I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Watchou wan?” he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, “I wan...numba 69.” More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries, “You wan...beef with brocceri?”


48 posted on 12/30/2011 9:05:19 AM PST by r-q-tek86 ("It doesn't matter how smart you are if you don't stop and think" - Dr. Sowell)
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To: r-q-tek86
I PREDICT:

FR GUMS UP ON SUNDAY JANUARY1,2012

(I can feel the pipes backing up)

49 posted on 12/30/2011 9:09:50 AM PST by woofie (It takes three villages and a forest of woodland creatures to raise a child in Obamaville)
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To: BenLurkin
The perfect man and woman

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

On-line tutorials....

Briefly stated I hate them. They're usually given by some foreign guy with a bad accent and worse acoustics. I prefer the silent ones where where rather than shoe-n-tell, it's just show. For example, take this one about how to peel a banana with your feet.

http://dotcomjoe.com/1229f2

50 posted on 12/30/2011 9:21:19 AM PST by motivated
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