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Candid discussion about discrimination: I'm a velociraptor in a wool suit! [Vanity]
1/16/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:07 PM PST by Lazamataz

ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.

But I wish to speak of the unsung heros of the Civil Rights movement: Velociraptors.

I, as a velociraptor in a wool suit, have experienced HORRIFIC discrimination since the day I first poked my snout out of the stout eggshell that served as my womb.

The level of discrimination a dromaeosaurid theropod dinosaur from the Cretaceous faces, is unreal. Hell, I walk onto a MARTA train ...and everyone screams and runs, and MARTA police are ALWAYS shooting at me.

Good thing I hunt in packs. If not for my friends, the cops would have gotten me a long time ago.

And as far as jobs?? FORGET IT. Let's leave aside the fact that I usually devour the interviewer in the first 30 seconds, shall we? The fact remains: I *NEVER* GET THE OFFER.

Housing is impossible to acquire for a 'raptor. Every time I fill out a lease, it's always the same 'stereotypical' questions: "Have you eaten any of your neighbors?" This is not even considered a discriminatory question under the Fair Housing Act, yet it is clearly directed at those of us of the Thunder Lizard Persuasion.

Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there. Location, for a velociraptor, is everything.

Is there any federal aid available for us? I should think not. NOT ONE BILL in the last 100 Congresses have been written to address the special difficulties faced by velociraptors in wool suits. Hell, I cannot even enter a federal building without the National Guard being called, and this -- obviously -- prevents me from obtaining scholorships, Welfare, or even Food Stamps.

And we marched, back in the 1960's, right alongside the Ray Innis' and the Jesse Jacksons' and the Martin Luther Kings'. We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws. Yet are we given ANY credit for helping minorities have a voice in America?

We need to talk about the discrimination shown towards velociraptors in wool suits. I hope this article can open that dialogue.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cheese; discrimination; equality; mlk; thatsraaaaaaaaaacist; velociraptors
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1 posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:19 PM PST by Lazamataz
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To: martin_fierro; Larry Lucido; writer33

Your input on this critical topic is appreciated.


2 posted on 01/16/2012 1:50:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: TheOldLady; trisham; onyx

Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit (moi)?


3 posted on 01/16/2012 1:51:52 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Travis McGee; Squantos; Southack

I know one of you will be able to address the issues of discrimination I — a velociraptor in a wool suit — face, every day.


4 posted on 01/16/2012 1:53:40 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: humblegunner; ken5050; cripplecreek

This is an important article about a group that is discriminated against daily.


5 posted on 01/16/2012 1:55:21 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: central_va; Keith in Iowa; Berlin_Freeper; SkyDancer

Who has something they can add to this article on this very important MLK day?


6 posted on 01/16/2012 1:56:53 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: kristinn; real saxophonist

Some of the old timers here on Free Republic might have some good suggestions for me.


7 posted on 01/16/2012 1:57:55 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz
Yes. Imho, your biggest threat is the common clothes moth, Tineola bisselliella.

Avoid it.

8 posted on 01/16/2012 1:59:03 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lazamataz

I recommend switching to a poly-blend.

The scratchy wool is making you grumpy.


9 posted on 01/16/2012 1:59:53 PM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: Lazamataz

You know, I think the very name raptor (”thief”) is discriminatory. I think they should be called Theropod-Americans.


10 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:05 PM PST by denydenydeny (The more a system is all about equality in theory the more it's an aristocracy in practice.)
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To: Lazamataz
Velociraptors are not known for their oral hygiene. Perhaps you need to start there.
11 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:31 PM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: thackney
Grumpy.

That is a typical REPUBLICAN CODE WORD for Ravenous Carnivorous Reptilian Killing Machine, isn't it???

12 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:39 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz

You know, I think the very name raptor (”thief”) is discriminatory. I think they should be called Theropod-Americans.


13 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:39 PM PST by denydenydeny (The more a system is all about equality in theory the more it's an aristocracy in practice.)
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To: Lazamataz

Avoid pirates and ninjas. It’s a lose-lose situation.


14 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:49 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: denydenydeny
I think they should be called Theropod-Americans

Excellent point!

15 posted on 01/16/2012 2:02:28 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz; trisham
Stay away from velcro.


16 posted on 01/16/2012 2:03:29 PM PST by lysie
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To: Lazamataz
We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws.

So many young people these days are unaware of the epic
struggles and hard battles fought by Raptors for the most
basic rights supposedly afforded to all of us, both Raptor
and non-Raptor alike.

Personally I'm sickened by the apathy shown toward Raptor
issues, studies, services and basic recognition. It's a freakin' genocide.

17 posted on 01/16/2012 2:03:31 PM PST by humblegunner (The kinder, gentler version...)
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To: Lazamataz
I see you finally found your bong.

Where was it? Under the floorboards?

18 posted on 01/16/2012 2:04:09 PM PST by red-dawg
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To: SunTzuWu
Velociraptors are not known for their oral hygiene. Perhaps you need to start there.

Let's face facts: No toothbrush is big enough; there are no sheep-flesh-flavored toothpastes; and I eat every dentist who looks in my mouth.

19 posted on 01/16/2012 2:04:26 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz

Do you have to have dermatology exclusions on your medical insurance?


20 posted on 01/16/2012 2:05:39 PM PST by NEMDF
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To: Lazamataz

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/philosoraptor/photos


21 posted on 01/16/2012 2:06:07 PM PST by Keith in Iowa (Willard Romney, purveyor of the world's finest bullmit. | FR Class of 1998 |)
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To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit (moi)?

Most assuredly. That pipe. Put. It. Down!

22 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:00 PM PST by houeto ("Click Free or Die!" -Travis McGee)
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To: Lazamataz
Let's face it, discrimination is tough for all of us non-mammilian species.

I was just trying to operate a nice delivery service for well-wishers -- flowers, balloons, and of course, assorted candies.

But that all was ruined by the blatant discrimination and landsharkophobia, personified and made mainstream by those evil haters at Saturday Night Live. After their stereotypical treatment of my business, I couldn't buy a delivery anymore. Soon as was living in the gutter puddles, eating scraps of discarded food and the random toad.

Worse was the derogatory way my name was used. Imagine how you would feel if your name was forever associated with crappy, past-it's-time TV shows. "Jump the Shark" indeed. I'd like to see someone try to jump me. Really. Please. I am so lonely. Getting mugged would be a step up.

23 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:15 PM PST by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Lazamataz; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Quit the smoking. You've got a three-chambered heart, fer chrissakes!


24 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:58 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Lazamataz

“ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.

Yada yada yada.

Nope, sorry, don’t wanna’ hear it. President: black guy, Att general: black guy. Stfu and get a life!


25 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:09 PM PST by TalBlack ( Evil doesn't have a day job.)
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To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit

Go for the pin stripe look.

Wimmin really go for velos in pin stripes on MLK day..........they solve sexism

26 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:18 PM PST by Lakeshark
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To: humblegunner
So many young people these days are unaware of the epic struggles and hard battles fought by Raptors for the most basic rights supposedly afforded to all of us, both Raptor and non-Raptor alike. Personally I'm sickened by the apathy shown toward Raptor issues, studies, services and basic recognition. It's a freakin' genocide.

PRECISELY! Every time we are encountered, the discussion revolves around our extermination -- never on how to help us.

This is the exact dialogue I was hoping to open. Thank you, from this particular Theropod-American. (hat tip to denydenydeny who has coined this wonderful phrase).

27 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:55 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz

One other thing, just to be clear: I would not hit it.


28 posted on 01/16/2012 2:10:12 PM PST by NEMDF
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To: TalBlack
“ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races."

Yada yada yada.

(singing) Some-one missed the jooo-oooke.....

LOL

29 posted on 01/16/2012 2:10:59 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Keith in Iowa

And don’t these photos demonstrate that Velociraptors are People (eaters) Too???


30 posted on 01/16/2012 2:11:04 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: CharlesWayneCT; landshark

Good point. Landshark, you need to read CharlesWayneCT’s post.


31 posted on 01/16/2012 2:12:15 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor

Yes.

Evolve.

Become a bird.

We Avian-Americans are valued members of society.

32 posted on 01/16/2012 2:12:24 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Lazamataz
Photobucket

Mmmmm... Bacon...

33 posted on 01/16/2012 2:13:51 PM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: Lazamataz

“Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there.”

Dear Mr Thunder Lizard,

It appears that your housing and dining difficulties are commensurate with the situation that we are having locally, that being an excess of Obama voters residing in California.

If you would kindly deign to vacate the woods and relocate to the coastal chaparral of the Los Angeles region your problem, and ours, might be rectified.


34 posted on 01/16/2012 2:15:41 PM PST by Pelham (Vultures for Romney. We pluck your carcass)
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To: ArrogantBustard
Evolve. Become a bird. We Avian-Americans are valued members of society.

See, this is the sort of pig-ignorant comm.... wait a second. Pig. Mmmmmmm. See you in a second.

35 posted on 01/16/2012 2:16:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz
If I stand by your side, will you refrain from eating me?


36 posted on 01/16/2012 2:16:17 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Lazamataz; humblegunner

Lazamataz and humblegunner connect on an intellectual level...

Which one is more concerned?


37 posted on 01/16/2012 2:17:12 PM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: Lazamataz
Here's what ya need to do:

The next time you eat a human, don't eat the outer shell, just the insides.
Then WEAR the outer shell as a suit and then they will treat you better. Kinda like a wolf in sheeps clothing.

38 posted on 01/16/2012 2:17:56 PM PST by red-dawg
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To: Lazamataz

39 posted on 01/16/2012 2:19:15 PM PST by anglian
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To: red-dawg; Lazamataz

It didn't work too well with Edgar.

40 posted on 01/16/2012 2:19:31 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: Lazamataz
See ... it's just a matter of managing perceptions.

Americans LOVE raptors:


41 posted on 01/16/2012 2:21:56 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: ArrogantBustard
Some raptors are 'more equal' than others.

Just because they have a few hundred million more years to evolve, they are considered 'more evolved'.

Pshaw.

42 posted on 01/16/2012 2:23:40 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: lysie; Lazamataz
Stay away from velcro.

*******************************

Excellent advice! I think we may be the only two people on this thread who are taking this issue seriously. Some of the comments are actually hurtful. :(

43 posted on 01/16/2012 2:23:49 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lazamataz

Who’s your tailor? I’d like to meet him.

But - sad to say - your hair is not perfect.

Oh darn. There I go again mixing my metaphoric monsters.


44 posted on 01/16/2012 2:24:21 PM PST by Responsibility2nd (NO LIBS! This means liberals AND libertarians (same thing) NO LIBS!)
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To: Lazamataz

this is hughes..


45 posted on 01/16/2012 2:24:48 PM PST by brivette
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To: Lazamataz

46 posted on 01/16/2012 2:25:34 PM PST by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: trisham
Excellent advice! I think we may be the only two people on this thread who are taking this issue seriously. Some of the comments are actually hurtful. :(

And I have wept, inside, prior -- of course -- to leaping on some unsuspecting human and rending him limb from limb.

47 posted on 01/16/2012 2:26:20 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Responsibility2nd
Who’s your tailor? I’d like to meet him.

Oooooo.... bad luck, that.

I ate him.

48 posted on 01/16/2012 2:27:32 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz
it's not easy being green
49 posted on 01/16/2012 2:28:14 PM PST by Berlin_Freeper
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To: Lazamataz
I know you have disavowed using "hit it" as terminology, but would you consider bunting this?


50 posted on 01/16/2012 2:28:32 PM PST by Focault's Pendulum
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