When : Always February 10th
Posted on 02/10/2012 4:59:55 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Goooooooood Morning Freepers......
Rise and shine and get on your silliness game face folks, it's gonna be a tough one out there today.
And to get ya'll in the mood, I'm spinning some tunes for ya. Here's a classic hit, that'll get you going.
And here's a a rockabilly remake, it's sure to get you singing along.
But wait, here's one, that'll be sure to make you giggle...
Now get on out there and get your silliness on. And while you do, you can pump it up to this...
And one more classic hit, to get you going....you just don't hear this great kind of music anymore.
When : Always February 10th
Umbrella Day is in honor of one of the world's most invaluable inventions. On a rainy, day, we are sure glad that someone was smart enough to invent it. It's also increasingly popular to use umbrellas to shade ourselves from harmful UV radiation, and the heat of the sun.
Umbrellas come in all sorts of sizes, colors, shapes, and, designs. Businesses and organizations use them for advertising. The smallest umbrellas fit inside a purse or glove compartment. Golf umbrellas are popular sizes. Then, there are lawn and beach umbrellas. There's one (or two) made just for you.
Celebrate Umbrella Day in a couple of ways. First, make sure your umbrella is handy. Second, use it, or walk around with it. If you don't have an umbrella, isn't it time to get one?
| Your Green Umbrella Says You're Insightful |
 You can approach things from a fresh perspective, but you have to relax first. You are a very insightful and perceptive person. You offer up interesting critiques. You have amazing levels of concentration. You can focus completely on any problem until it is solved. On a rainy day: you take time to nap, day dream, and relax |
Woohoo!! It’s Friday!!!
Internal Revenue 'Service'
> U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us. You are now as enlightened as I am!
The Royal Navy is proud of its new fleet of Type 45 destroyers.
Having initially named the first two ships HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the Naming Committee has, after intensive pressure from Brussels, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence. The next five ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Circumspect, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS
Apologist. Costing £850 million each, they meet the needs of the 21st century and comply with the very latest employment, health and safety, and human rights laws.
The new user-friendly crow’s nest comes equipped with wheelchair access. Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims. Stress counsellors and lawyers will be on duty 24 hours a day and each ship will have its own industrial tribunal. The crew ratio will be 50/50 men and women, balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexual preference and disability. Sailors will have to work only a maximum of 37 hours a week in line with Brussels Health and Safety rules, even in wartime.
All the vessels will come equipped with a maternity ward and nursery, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco. Tobacco will be banned throughout the fleet, but cannabis will be allowed in the wardroom and ratings’ messes. The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for “rum, sodomy and the lash”, so out has gone the occasional rum ration which is to be replaced with sparkling water. Although sodomy remains, it has now been extended to include all ratings under 18. The lash will still be available but only on request. Condoms can be obtained from the Bosun in a variety of flavours except Capstan Full Strength.
Saluting officers has been abolished because it is deemed elitist, and is to be replaced by the more informal “Hello Sailor”. All information on noticeboards will be printed in 37 different languages and Braille. Crew members will now no longer be required to ask permission to grow beards or moustaches, and this applies equally to women crew members.
The MoD is working on a new “non-specific” flag because the White Ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities. The Union Flag has already been discarded. The newly re-named HMS Cautious is due to be commissioned soon in a ceremony conducted by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque, who will break a petrol bomb over the hull. She will glide gently into the water as the band of the Royal Marines plays “In The Navy” by The Village People. Her first deployment will be to escort boat loads of illegal immigrants across the Channel from France to ports on England’s south coast.
The Prime Minister said “While these ships reflect the very latest in modern thinking, they are also capable of being up-graded to comply with any new legislation coming out of Brussels. His final words were “Britannia waives the rules”
Top ten.....yeahhhhhhh.... To bad I have to work Saturday.
A Coloradan and a Texan were hunting in the Hill Country when an illegal alien runs across the field.
The Texan takes careful aim, shoots, and kills him.
“You can’t do that!” cried the Coloradan.
“No, no, it’s legal here in Texas” replies the Texan.
Later that night the Coloradan goes and buys some beer and puts it on the roof of his truck to open the door.
Just then an illegal alien runs by, grabs the beer, and runs away.
The Coloradan thinks “No problem” draws his pistol, shoots, and kills him.
As he is getting his beer the police come and arrest him.
“But I thought it was legal to shoot illegal aliens here in Texas!” protests the Coloradan.
“Well yeah,” says the cop, “but you can’t use bait.”
WHERE'S SLINGS & ARROWS?
With that cat, you’re looking for humblegunner.
Looks like Lizzy!
They’re both beautiful.
IN!!!
Page One....above the fold!
| Your Orange Umbrella Says You're Playful |
 Problems don't ever get you down. You see them as an opportunity to think outside the box. You are playful and light hearted. You make the dullest tasks interesting and lively. You are curious about the world around you. You take every moment as an opportunity to learn. On a rainy day: you should get out there and play in the rain |
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
