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Bound, naked in a Subaru: Valentine's Day role-playing ends badly
LA Times ^ | 14 Feb 2012 | Kim Murphy

Posted on 02/15/2012 9:38:49 AM PST by Theoria

Nikolas Harbar and Stephanie Pelzner
It was Valentine's Day in Portlandia -- should anyone have been upset about a little friendly bondage action in the back of a Subaru?

Well, yes. The Portland Police Bureau was plenty upset, and the lovers, identified as Nikolas Harbar, 31, and Stephanie Pelzner, 26, are under arrest on charges of disorderly conduct in the second degree.

Portland may be a city that has always prided itself on its eccentricities, but police said the red alert that went out when Pelzner was glimpsed bound and naked in the back of the car was a Valentine too far.

It began shortly after noon on Tuesday, when someone at the New Seasons Market in north Portland reported that they had seen a naked female with duct tape on her mouth tied up in the back of a blue Subaru Legacy.

The man driving the car had told the witness they "were just having some fun," police said in their report, but the woman in the back of the car "seemed hazy."

The witness phoned in the license plate to the car, and the search was on.

Authorities in Washington state were alerted, in case the car traveled north across the state line on Interstate 5. Portland police began combing the city's streets, while a patrol car zeroed in on the address where the car was registered.

(Excerpt) Read more at latimesblogs.latimes.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: portland; subaru; valentinesday
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To: Darksheare

All in the song...


41 posted on 02/15/2012 11:32:46 AM PST by null and void (Day 1121 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
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To: null and void

Well, except for the wipers coming on and the turn signals, headlights turning on.


42 posted on 02/15/2012 11:40:45 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: null and void

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuaIJGJNbzo


43 posted on 02/15/2012 11:52:49 AM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Lakeshark; derllak; Borax Queen; null and void

Uh.. Derlly hasn’t chimed in yet.


44 posted on 02/15/2012 12:26:34 PM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Darksheare

Duct tape?


45 posted on 02/15/2012 12:35:53 PM PST by null and void (Day 1121 of America's ObamaVacation from reality [Heroes aren't made, Frank, they're cornered...])
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To: Darksheare; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak
She may have gone comatose from the lack of rain this winter........

Curled up in a Subaru corner sucking her paws.

46 posted on 02/15/2012 12:37:45 PM PST by Lakeshark (NbIttoalbl,cRwIdtaa)
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To: Lakeshark; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak

Nully, “Duct tape?”

Possibly.


47 posted on 02/15/2012 12:41:26 PM PST by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Darksheare; Borax Queen; nicmarlo; derllak
*Hybridized sentence*

Duct taped in a Subaru corner, sucking her paws.

48 posted on 02/15/2012 12:50:00 PM PST by Lakeshark (NbIttoalbl,cRwIdtaa)
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To: Night Hides Not

The dream of the 1890's is alive in Portland....

49 posted on 02/15/2012 2:45:17 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts
But can she say the magic word from Club Vandersexxx (Euro Trip)?

She's intimidating, that's for sure.

50 posted on 02/15/2012 2:51:18 PM PST by Night Hides Not (My dream ticket for 2012 is John Galt & Dagny Taggart!)
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To: JimRed

A former lady friend said she was bi-sexual.

“Buy me something, I get sexual.”


51 posted on 02/15/2012 5:28:43 PM PST by Erasmus (Able was I ere I saw this crappy little island.)
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To: Erasmus

That comedian that always has a scotch in one hand and a smoke in the other had a funny one, something like:

“Yeah, I got all excited when we got engaged, and my wife said that she was pretty anal. I didn’t realize that could be taken a couple of different ways.”


52 posted on 02/15/2012 5:36:31 PM PST by 21twelve
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To: ExCTCitizen; All
Oh, it was the first time I fell in love
the first time I felt my heart
it was the first time I sang out loud all through the night
but before I knew I was lost,
before I knew I was a prisioner
and I still can't find a way to make it right

53 posted on 02/15/2012 6:28:43 PM PST by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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