Skip to comments."Send a letter to your gaining Command ..... " (Must read for Navy)
Posted on 02/15/2012 7:41:51 PM PST by IDontLikeToPayTaxes
"Where is that advice written? I remember reading it once or twice - and it was something I never did; just not my style. My instincts were spot on with this - as a nice Fleet LT we had a new guy coming to our command - a guy with a "reputation." You know the type. "
(Excerpt) Read more at cdrsalamander.blogspot.com ...
This is one of the most amazing pieces I've ever read; people just don't stop surprising me. This powerpoint show has gone viral.
Scroll to the bottom of the page for the slides, and you must absolutely click the "Comments" link.
The slides for this disaster are at the bottom of the page. There is a link to click for each one.
And to think I recommended the USN to my son not knowing it was a farm team of nitwits like this chick. He’s been in for 4 of 6 and is counting the days.
I’ve never seen or heard anything like it....is this common practice in the Navy?
She has managed to stay around so long because she made a point of staying clear of the catwalks and the main deck at night.
The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way.
It's the "new" Navy way.
Now hear this. All cabin boys report to the poop deck.
Wow! If you toss aside the amazingly creepy slides it is still interesting. Not a bad academic record, but the rest is really freaky. The J.O. billets are pretty typical for shoe warfare, but that a pretty short last afloat billet. I don’t think most people think of SD or even Pearl as forward deployed, either.
This GMM3 spit peanut butter cookies everywhere.
The world’s most potent fighting force is no contest against Affimative Action.
Is there any way to see this without signing up for Google documents’ page?
There is also a tradition of sending letters like that "for" people to certain schools. It is common for one's peers to write a letter in first person to the staff at Top Gun, extolling his prowess, intention to skip most of the lectures (because he's already an expert), but willingness to square away the staff while he holds court at the O'club.
This was a spoof from quite a few years ago, but decent...
To: Commanding Officer, Damn Neck, VA
Subj: ANNOUNCING MY GLORIOUS RETURN TO THE INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY
1. Skipper, just got off the phone after deftly manipulating my detailer and arranging for my next highly successful tour of duty. Your lucky day, Im headed your way, and none too soon! You can sit back, relax, and put those leave papers in. Im bringing just what you need: a high-speed, low transition, pure octane injection of pure naval Intel Officer. By the way, my names LTJG xxx xxxxx, callsign Brillo. Please pass it on to your XO or First Lieutenant flunkee so he can get it right on my parking spot and office door.
2. First off, I wanted to introduce myself and get us off to the right start. You should know I pretty much kicked butt up here in the fleet, got a NAM for combat Ops in Operation ALLIED FORCE, so the Intel thing should be a piece of cake. Im not saying I walk on water, just that it seems that way to those around me.
3. You have problems? Just send Brillo in. Theres no hornets nest too big. Ill clean out the dead wood and get things up and running Brillo style (sleek and mean) in no time. Just take it easy on the paperwork; old Brillo is none too fond of the Admin stuff. No, youll get the best use out of me and derive the greatest benefit if you just let me run my own show. Gotta keep us thoroughbreds happy - let the reins out and let us run. Giddy-up!
4. I think I already mentioned the parking spot. We Fleet bubbas belong up front and in the middle with the big boys. Warriors like me shouldnt have to walk too far, and besides Brillo needs ready access to his chariot for his many trips to the gym. Brillo is no weakling. Youre not just getting another officer, youre getting a lean, mean, fighting machine, and you gotta like that. A physique like this doesnt come by chance. No, it takes hours a day to maintain a form like this. Im sure a two hour lunch is the standard down there anyway. Also, I know this backwater shore tour thing is a cakewalk, so leaving early is probably encouraged. Brillo appreciates that kind of encouragement.
5. Ive enclosed several photographs. Theyre not from my best side, but I ran out of those. You might want to have your PAO send one over to the base paper to keep on file. Theres gotta be plenty of chances for heroics down there, and I feel lucky.
6. Thats about all I can think of up front, boss. Im confident I can straighten out any of your screwed-up programs, divisions, or departments down there. After Im through with them, they will know the meaning of the word military discipline.
7. Well, gotta get back to the Intel spaces. This letter writing stuffs more paperwork than what Ive done my whole tour here - thatll bog down a guy like me. No worries skipper, ol Brillo is on his way!
P.S. Could you pass on to that First Lieutenant flunkee that Ill be needing a full length mirror in my office. Brillo has to maintain that impeccable military bearing. Thanks Big Guy!
OK, I think I understand.
But... powerpoint? Slides? Pictures and whizzy crap on every one of them?
Please explain more of this to us civilians. I’ve been in large enough organizations to spot self-aggrandizing losers (and those who are bragged up so that their boss can get rid of them)... but there’s something about this that seems utterly over the top.
And wouldn’t a CO get a file through official channels on people assigned to his/her command as a normal function?
No question, this person would be considered a freak in the Navy. I did 20 years in the Navy and nobody in aviation would do something like this.
I don't know about the letter being standard practice, but I'm quite certain being an illiterate dolt, as this Lieutenant is, is not standard practice among Naval officers.
Not a bad academic record? I read through all the comments on that blog, and the theory is that it's a sham.
Did you read the words on the slides? This Lieutenant is damn near illiterate. I have no idea how she got a Masters degree in Mechanical Engineering.
Hmmm, good question. I wasn't aware that anybody had to sign up for Google documents. The slides are on a separate blog page. I just scrolled to the bottom and clicked the links for each slide.
If, this is not satire, then this young woman has torpedoed any kind of career she might have had — provided the Commanding Officer has any competence at all. I understand the Navy has become very PC these days (I retired in September of 1987), but this piece of blather is too much.
If this LT really believes this tripe, she’s delusional. Serious ship driving is not an affirmative action sport. Perhaps, when this LT reports aboard, it would be proper to ask her if she posted such a letter to the command and would she like to reclaim her honor by committing suicide? Or, tell her she will have to be twice as good as she thinks she is to get half a good FitRep.
I hope she was able to find the least common denominator.
Needs another bullet "Passionately devoted to spellcheck"
And the pic on slide 13 sure looks like it illustrates her list of hobbies such as "Cooking" or "Photography" eh?
My son is the same with five active now. He has decided to stay and try to fix.
I am a long retired CPO with a son on active duty, a SWO LT.
Today’s Navy has ten times as many Chiefs, E7-E8-E9, as it needs and it seems none of them are leaders. This has to be corrected. In addiction, a good 40% of commissioned officers should be removed from active duty. Some of them via Leavenworth!
When I was active duty not all Ensigns made LTJG and not all LTJGs made LT. At 03 is where the first big blood letting should take place with at least 25% being asked to discontinue their Navel service. Half of the 05s should never make 06. Ross Peroue (sp) never made LTJG. My son is telling me that once you put your hand in the air for the oath, you are still above room temp and there is indication you are still alive, you will be promoted. This apparently continues all the way to 07. From the number of COs being releaved every year, it is clear that the Navy is failing to promote only those qualified for promotion.
I want my Navy to be a meritocracy, not the mess it has apparently become.
Do. Not. Miss. This.
It is funny as heck, and scary as heck, all at once.
God help us if we get into a serious shooting war with many people like this in our military.
I just forwarded this to an Air Force buddy, and I told him not to miss the comments as they are priceless, and the .50 cal one in particular.
My daughters, who are both IS2s, would totally agree with you and it's why they have both become disenchanted, disillusioned, disgusted with the Navy. They re-uped and have 3 years left. They're gone after that.
I served 20 years in the Navy, retiring in 1998. I now provide technical assistance to the ships. I see where officers like this one are leading the Navy. And here is an example.....
One ship here, I won’t name which one, has a female CO. This CO is the ONLY one (and she’s not the CO of a CVN) that has a government sedan parked next to the brow to take her down the pier to her car in the parking lot.
I was working across the pier on another ship when I saw the sedan pull up and this CO got out in her PT gear.
Even the Admirals walk down the pier to the ships. This Captain has a sedan with a junior enlisted driver.
BTW, this is one of the most fouled up ships on the waterfront.
Had to share that with my daughter who was stationed aboard CVN 72 and is now in Naples, Italy. And my daughters wonder why women are not respected by so many in the Navy. Your story is an example of why.
Bump to read at home ...
Another one I experienced is the story of an ET3 here, was at the command where I work when she was pregnant. Went to a ship, and the ship left for a 4 month South American deployment. She went to IFF school here. This “technician” couldn’t troubleshoot her way out of a paper bag with a charged firehose. Ship came back and they “CAP’ed” her to ET2. The division finally got smart and put her in charge of test equipment where she cannot tear up any mre gear.
I tried to access the slides on my work computer this morning and I'm having the same problem.
Does anybody know how to get around Google docs?
From what I read here, this is a top-down problem, unlikely to change unless we get into a real naval shooting war where competency is the standard, not political correctness. Lord help us all.
Thought you folks would “enjoy” this.
On the one hand it’s funny. On the other, it is very much not.
If that had been signed LT, rather than LT(jg), I would have bet it was my Division Officer on my last ship. Guy was proof that putting the Intel Officer and the PAO as the same billet was just a really, really bad idea.
She is a black female officer. Any male officer who dares to say a word against her will have the entire weight of the affirmative action establishment come crashing down on his head.
There are comments on that thread by people who allegedly know her. Two in particular:
Knew her. Something that folks here might be surprised in hearing... She has been in the military since 1994. No joke. Nearly a 20 year career, and still doesn't get it. Started as an enlisted aircraft mech, left our VAQ due to being picked up for STA-21 (Seaman to Admiral) in 96 or 97, I don't remember exactly.
OK.. i cant resist anymore. I went through training with her in fort jackson for my GSA, her less than voluntary IA... A couple of my favorite quotes.. by day 2 the Seargaents were already keeping a quote book on her.. She points to the charging handle on a .50 cal (she was just fired as weapons officer on Howard, where she owned at least 5 of these) and asks, "so you just spin this here thing and it shoots?" as she makes a gattling gun motion...
A little off topic but may be of interest. Hurl alert.
Click on pic for past Navair pings. Post or FReepmail me if you wish to be enlisted in or discharged from the Navair Pinglist. The only requirement for inclusion in the Navair Pinglist is an interest in Naval Aviation. This is a medium to low volume pinglist.
My young cousin is at four and a half years and has made his mind up to leave when his hitch is up. His wife is in the OCS program, though, so it looks like they'll remain a Navy family for some time to come, assuming she graduates as projected.
His daddy did a year and a half in the Camden as a USNR SK3 in Zumwalt's Navy, passing out bullets and beans on the Gun Line (I think he's fully qualified for membership in the Tonkin Gulf Yacht Club, but he never applied: He was afraid if he did, he'd wind up back in Olongapo somehow), and I was a Reservist JO in the Atlantic Fleet about the same time, did a total of about 2-1/2 years' active duty until the big Eddie Hebert RIF.
Obama wants a military from the left-wing half of America, one that will gee and haw to his nod, and gun down the veterans when he tells them to, when it's time to send Congress home for good, and all the old patriots rise as one man and tell him to go eff himself.
We need, as he would put it, a "military that looks like America" -- feckless and stupid, IOW, like the typical Atlantic Megalopolis voter and San Francisco bicycle bum.
This female officer is a total embarrassment to her gender and the Navy's officer corps. I am so glad I don't have to serve with or under morons like this.
GSA = Global War on Terror support assignment
IA = individual augmentation
You know, during my son’s soft patch ceremony, one of the IP’s said something like, “Although constructive criticism is a mainstay of training programs of all types, here in the Naval Aviation Community, we find public ridicule to be a very effective training tool... .”
He and the other IP’s then went on to “roast” each new Naval Aviator in turn as the soft patches were presented.
Sounds like they need to institute this in SWO.
Print is too small to read. But the broken English on the first slide is horrific enough.
Back in the day, "augmentation" meant designator conversion from a USNR to a USN line designator, e.g. 1105 unrestricted line Reserve officer, to 1100, which is unrestricted line USN officer.
She mis-spelled College. Collage?????? WTF...