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Naples Man Arrested at Bank Claims He's CIA Director, Half Orangutan
Naples News ^ | February 19, 2012

Posted on 02/20/2012 11:37:33 AM PST by nickcarraway

A Naples man is accused of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after an incident Friday outside a bank, where he told deputies he was half orangutan and needed to call the “Fusion Center” to ask about his monkey blood.

Collier County sheriff’s deputies arrested 51-year-old Mark Loescher, of the 1100 block of Reserve Way Boulevard, outside the Wells Fargo Bank at 5094 Airport-Pulling Road N. A woman there said a man in a green car pulled out a gun after she told him his vehicle was smoking.

Deputies said they responded to the bank shortly before 5 p.m. to find Loescher still sitting in the driver’s seat of the green car in front of the bank. A woman was in the front passenger seat.

Deputies pulled Loescher over and had difficulty making him comply with their orders to exit the vehicle and place his hands on the window, get off his phone and get on the ground.

In addition to monkey blood, Loescher repeatedly told deputies he was the director of the CIA and later told them he was Elvis Presley’s brother and a good friend of “President Bush” with whom he shares an attorney.

Deputies reported they found a gun and bullets in Loescher’s vehicle but no identification to show a connection to the CIA. Loescher’s passenger was released.

Loescher was taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.


TOPICS: Local News; Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: elvispresley; florida; markloescher; napl; orangutan

1 posted on 02/20/2012 11:37:39 AM PST by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Why did he not just direct the LEOs to his brother in the White House?


2 posted on 02/20/2012 11:40:51 AM PST by Wurlitzer (Welcome to the new USSA (United Socialist States of Amerika))
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To: nickcarraway
Naples Man Arrested at Bank Claims He's CIA Director, Half Orangutan

I'm sorry, what exactly is the problem here?

3 posted on 02/20/2012 11:40:58 AM PST by Talisker (He who commands, must obey.)
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To: Talisker

Same thing.


4 posted on 02/20/2012 11:50:27 AM PST by goseminoles
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To: FReepers
LESS THAN $4.5k TO GO!


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Jim Robinson



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5 posted on 02/20/2012 11:52:21 AM PST by onyx (SUPPORT FREE REPUBLIC, DONATE MONTHLY. If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, let me know.)
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To: nickcarraway

Good story, but he isn’t up to speed for politics yet!


6 posted on 02/20/2012 12:01:19 PM PST by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: nickcarraway
Rule #97 in life: Do not mix LSD and Lancelot Link DVD sets.
7 posted on 02/20/2012 12:10:36 PM PST by KarlInOhio (You only have three billion heartbeats in a lifetime.How many does the government claim as its own?)
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To: KarlInOhio
LOL!!

BTW orangutan are apes, not monkeys (no tail)

8 posted on 02/20/2012 12:22:32 PM PST by eccentric (a.k.a. baldwidow)
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To: nickcarraway

http://www.smart.co.uk/dreams/monkviv1.jpg


9 posted on 02/20/2012 12:35:03 PM PST by sit-rep
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To: nickcarraway
Ahm da head ofz da CIAz. Pullz mah nipplz.

Photobucket

10 posted on 02/20/2012 12:46:27 PM PST by IYellAtMyTV (Je t'aime, faire du bruit comme le cochon.)
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To: nickcarraway
Lots ‘o great comments at the site, including...

“With this Administrations screwball appointments, I could believe that this nutjob is the CIA Director.” and

“he went ape”

11 posted on 02/20/2012 2:24:43 PM PST by ADemocratNoMore (Jeepers, Freepers, where'd 'ya get those sleepers?. Pj people, exposing old media's lies.)
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To: nickcarraway

Any and all know that the simian claim should have been for a baboon, as they are the loudest, most violent and larcenous of monkeys,


12 posted on 02/20/2012 2:40:08 PM PST by GladesGuru (In a society predicated upon freedom, it is necessary to examine principles."...the public interest)
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To: nickcarraway; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...

[Thanks to ADemocratNoMore for the heads-up!]



13 posted on 02/20/2012 6:36:31 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Son of the Librarian?

Ook! OOk, ook-ook oOK?


14 posted on 02/20/2012 7:01:01 PM PST by ApplegateRanch (If any of their "Alternatives" actually works, the Greenies will proceed to kill it.)
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To: ApplegateRanch

If so, I’d hate to see the mother.


15 posted on 02/20/2012 7:10:32 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: sit-rep

Whippits an spice ......or huffin gold paint.

....lmao.

Stay safe SR !


16 posted on 02/20/2012 7:17:37 PM PST by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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To: Squantos

You used to be the CIA Director didn’t you?

;<)


17 posted on 02/20/2012 7:35:20 PM PST by Eaker (Remember, the enemy tends to wise up at the least convenient moments.)
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To: Eaker; Slings and Arrows; nickcarraway; Salamander; humblegunner; Absolutely Nobama; TheOldLady; ...
I assume the Israelis have been called in to verify the authenticity of the MonkeyManMasterSpy?


18 posted on 02/20/2012 8:41:05 PM PST by shibumi (Cover it with gas and set it on fire.)
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To: shibumi

Send the Mossad sharks in to free him.


19 posted on 02/20/2012 9:19:23 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: nickcarraway
No one in his right mind would ever hire an orangutang to be a secret agent. Now if he was a platypus on the other-hand...


20 posted on 02/20/2012 9:29:24 PM PST by GreenLanternCorps ("Barack Obama" is Swahili for "Jimmy Carter".)
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