Naples Man Arrested at Bank Claims He's CIA Director, Half Orangutan

Naples News ^ | February 19, 2012

[nickcarraway]

A Naples man is accused of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after an incident Friday outside a bank, where he told deputies he was half orangutan and needed to call the “Fusion Center” to ask about his monkey blood.

Collier County sheriff’s deputies arrested 51-year-old Mark Loescher, of the 1100 block of Reserve Way Boulevard, outside the Wells Fargo Bank at 5094 Airport-Pulling Road N. A woman there said a man in a green car pulled out a gun after she told him his vehicle was smoking.

Deputies said they responded to the bank shortly before 5 p.m. to find Loescher still sitting in the driver’s seat of the green car in front of the bank. A woman was in the front passenger seat.

Deputies pulled Loescher over and had difficulty making him comply with their orders to exit the vehicle and place his hands on the window, get off his phone and get on the ground.

In addition to monkey blood, Loescher repeatedly told deputies he was the director of the CIA and later told them he was Elvis Presley’s brother and a good friend of “President Bush” with whom he shares an attorney.

Deputies reported they found a gun and bullets in Loescher’s vehicle but no identification to show a connection to the CIA. Loescher’s passenger was released.

Loescher was taken to the Naples Jail Center for booking.

[Wurlitzer]

Why did he not just direct the LEOs to his brother in the White House?

[Talisker]

Naples Man Arrested at Bank Claims He's CIA Director, Half Orangutan

I'm sorry, what exactly is the problem here?

[goseminoles]

Same thing.

[onyx]

LESS THAN $4.5k TO GO!

The funds raised in these FReepathons go to pay our current quarter expenses. But we're also going to try to replace some of our older servers and failing equipment this year so we're going to add a little extra to our FReepathon goals. John is estimating ten to fifteen thousand to do this and I'd like to get it all in place and working before the election cycle is fully heated up, so we'll try to bring in a little extra now, if we can, and the rest next quarter.

Jim Robinson

Click to Donate!

[SWAMPSNIPER]

Good story, but he isn’t up to speed for politics yet!

[KarlInOhio]

Rule #97 in life: Do not mix LSD and Lancelot Link DVD sets.

[eccentric]

LOL!!

BTW orangutan are apes, not monkeys (no tail)

[sit-rep]

http://www.smart.co.uk/dreams/monkviv1.jpg

[IYellAtMyTV]

Ahm da head ofz da CIAz. Pullz mah nipplz.

[ADemocratNoMore]

Lots ‘o great comments at the site, including...

“With this Administrations screwball appointments, I could believe that this nutjob is the CIA Director.” and

“he went ape”

[GladesGuru]

Any and all know that the simian claim should have been for a baboon, as they are the loudest, most violent and larcenous of monkeys,

[Slings and Arrows]

[Thanks to ADemocratNoMore for the heads-up!]

---

[ApplegateRanch]

Son of the Librarian?

Ook! OOk, ook-ook oOK?

[Slings and Arrows]

If so, I’d hate to see the mother.

[Squantos]

Whippits an spice ......or huffin gold paint.

....lmao.

Stay safe SR !

[Eaker]

You used to be the CIA Director didn’t you?

;<)

[shibumi]

I assume the Israelis have been called in to verify the authenticity of the MonkeyManMasterSpy?

[Slings and Arrows]

Send the Mossad sharks in to free him.

[GreenLanternCorps]

No one in his right mind would ever hire an orangutang to be a secret agent. Now if he was a platypus on the other-hand...