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There Once Was a Woman Named Fluke...
Me | March 8, 2012 | RetSignman

Posted on 03/08/2012 9:02:37 AM PST by RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluke...


TOPICS: Humor; Poetry
KEYWORDS:
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There once was a woman named Fluke Who was financially down on her luck She couldn't afford contraception For her daily copulation For less than a buck A fluke.
1 posted on 03/08/2012 9:02:39 AM PST by RetSignman
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To: RetSignman

That is a liberal kook.


2 posted on 03/08/2012 9:05:15 AM PST by goseminoles
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluke,
Who walked and quacked like a duck,
Despite being a liberal agitator,
The press still painted her,
As just some poor gal down on her luck.


3 posted on 03/08/2012 9:14:07 AM PST by bolobaby
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To: RetSignman
Sandra the tranny had many,
Lovers but nary a penny,
She said gimme mo',
But please, I'm no ho',
Just a child of the government nanny.

4 posted on 03/08/2012 9:21:11 AM PST by I see my hands (It's time to.. KICK OUT THE JAMS, MOTHER FREEPERS!)
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To: RetSignman

Fluke rhymes with kook doesn’t it?


5 posted on 03/08/2012 9:26:15 AM PST by DManA
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To: RetSignman

Revised:

There once was a woman named Fluke
Who, financially down on her luck,
Lacked birth control coin
For her copulative groin;
“Say, Congress, can you spare a buck?”


6 posted on 03/08/2012 9:26:57 AM PST by Carl Vehse
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To: DManA

Nope. Look at the examples so far.


7 posted on 03/08/2012 9:28:46 AM PST by listenhillary (Look your representatives in the eye and ask if they intend to pay off the debt. They will look away)
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To: RetSignman

There once was a heifer named Fluke
Whose hormones had all run amok
She wanted cheap thrills
But can’t afford pills
Because she just charges a buck.


8 posted on 03/08/2012 9:29:25 AM PST by humblegunner
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To: RetSignman
There once was a woman named Fluke
Whose liberal world views do suck
She is clearly a tramp
Who thinks shes a champ
But she really comes off like a schmuck


9 posted on 03/08/2012 9:29:41 AM PST by ICE-FLYER (God bless and keep the United States of America)
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To: bolobaby

10 posted on 03/08/2012 9:31:10 AM PST by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas gerit ;-{)
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluke,
And boy was she a kook.
Her demand for us to pay for her sexual protection
By purchasing her contraception
Makes freedom loving Americans want to puke.


11 posted on 03/08/2012 9:32:44 AM PST by taterjay
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To: DManA

Rhymes with puke


12 posted on 03/08/2012 9:35:02 AM PST by SMARTY ("The man who has no inner-life is a slave to his surroundings. "Henri Frederic Amiel)
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To: DManA

[Fluke rhymes with kook doesn’t it?]

Actually the correct pronunciation of Fluke is Fluck.


13 posted on 03/08/2012 9:35:08 AM PST by RetSignman (I take responsibility for what I post not for what you understand.)
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To: RetSignman
There once was a woman named Fluke
Whos appearance caused many to puke
Sex on my dime?
I haven't the time
Perhaps please consider a cuke
14 posted on 03/08/2012 9:38:17 AM PST by Slicksadick (Go out on a limb........Its where the fruit is.)
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To: RetSignman; mikrofon; Charles Henrickson

There once was a woman named Fluke
who subjected one Rush to rebuke;
It wasn’t much needed
Her words weren’t heeded
as nobody gave her a fook.


15 posted on 03/08/2012 9:39:14 AM PST by martin_fierro (Memo to self: Renew Poetic License)
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To: JoeProBono

Hard to tell what orifice the quack comes from on her, isn’t it?


16 posted on 03/08/2012 9:40:06 AM PST by bolobaby
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To: DManA

No it pretty much rhymes with duck.


17 posted on 03/08/2012 9:42:03 AM PST by mc5cents
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluke,
Who couldn’t afford a jimmy tuque.


18 posted on 03/08/2012 9:43:29 AM PST by Jack Hydrazine (It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!)
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To: RetSignman
There once was a man named Barak
who took a ride around the block
with a guy named Sinclair
who now claims a gay affair

They snorted some coke
and then Barak did poke
the lips of Larry
with the hips of Barry

19 posted on 03/08/2012 9:46:34 AM PST by PA-RIVER
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To: RetSignman

We may not be in the leagues of Ralph Waldo Emerson but we are a lot more fun.


20 posted on 03/08/2012 9:47:32 AM PST by RetSignman (I take responsibility for what I post not for what you understand.)
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluke,
The stage and a mic she took,
8 condoms a day,
Is all you should pay,
To keep my nose out of a book.


21 posted on 03/08/2012 9:48:12 AM PST by Typelouder
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To: RetSignman

There once was a Stooge named Fluke
Typical lib asking for a buck,
“Keep your hands off my womb..
or I’ll vote you out, soon”
But my hands in your wallet, nyuk...nyuk


22 posted on 03/08/2012 9:54:02 AM PST by Huskrrrr
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To: RetSignman
There once was an activist named Fluck
Who thought Catholics should pay for the muck
that prevents babies from coming
when two people are loving
but no babies result when two women f*ck.
23 posted on 03/08/2012 9:55:09 AM PST by allmendream (Tea Party did not send the GOP to D.C. to negotiate the terms of our surrender to socialism.)
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To: Carl Vehse
There once was a woman named Fluke

Was financially down on her luck,

Lacked birth control coin

For her copulative groin;

Oh well, just give it a suck.

24 posted on 03/08/2012 9:59:16 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorists savages.)
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To: SMARTY

The name actually rhymes with... um... duck.


25 posted on 03/08/2012 9:59:24 AM PST by Reagan69 (I supported Sarah Palin and all I got was a lousy DVD !)
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To: RetSignman
There once was a woman named Fluke
I met while down on my luck.
We had a quick fling.
I heard a "Ching-ching."
She said, "Now give me 10 bucks."
26 posted on 03/08/2012 9:59:36 AM PST by matt1234 (Bring back the HUAC.)
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To: Typelouder

There once was a woman named Fluke,
Obama’s “concern” she took,
Redistribution of wealth,
Eroding our rights,
A new crisis everytime we look.


27 posted on 03/08/2012 10:00:30 AM PST by Typelouder
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To: RetSignman

There once was a Sandra named Fluke
She had to be a parasite, no joke.
She wanted to live off us with her sexual deeds
By making us pay to protect her insatiable needs
Using us as hosts so she doesn’t go broke!


28 posted on 03/08/2012 10:01:26 AM PST by taterjay
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To: Reagan69

literary license.....


29 posted on 03/08/2012 10:03:05 AM PST by Typelouder
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To: RetSignman
I've had many a girl
but never such a squirrel

Who would have me pay for a condom
for another man she'd have on them

If you pay for sex to feel well
The police can lock you in a cell

But Barak can make you pay the fare
for another mans consensual affair

hope and change is a free condom
that I have to pay to put on them

30 posted on 03/08/2012 10:03:30 AM PST by PA-RIVER
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To: martin_fierro; RetSignman

There once was no man from Nantucket,
This “woman”, in fact: Sandra Fluke. It
became very clear
to all who did hear-
Why would anyone sane want to {well, you know the rest of the story...}


31 posted on 03/08/2012 10:03:57 AM PST by mikrofon (Fluke-tose Intolerant)
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To: RetSignman

“Give me cock, give me cock, give me cock!”
Chants a chick with a mantra to shock;
..There is nothing this hippie
..Likes more than a quickie,
And the line stretches right round the block.


32 posted on 03/08/2012 10:06:23 AM PST by tumblindice
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To: RetSignman

A woman named Fluke
Who saw and idea full of fluke
Forcing women to be whores
Around the date rape drug called the pill
An equalizer for whores and nuns
So their pedophile perv boyfriends could rape their sisters at the convent without much ado


33 posted on 03/08/2012 10:09:57 AM PST by JudgemAll (Democrats Fed. job-security Whorocracy & hate:hypocrites must be gay like us or be tested/crucified)
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To: Typelouder

There once was a woman named Fluke,
The Administration run amok,
Forty-six thousand tuition,
Plus one grand a year,
For her wants to come to fruition.


34 posted on 03/08/2012 10:19:25 AM PST by Typelouder
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluck
Who just couldn’t get enough,
Towin the liberal line,
As she began to whine,
But,alas! She’s just out of luck.


35 posted on 03/08/2012 10:32:56 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (If you want to kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.)
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To: listenhillary
So are you telling me her name is pronounced "fluck", and not "Fluke"?! Are you flucking kidding me?!

You couldn't make this stuff up if you tried...

36 posted on 03/08/2012 10:35:44 AM PST by Sicon ("All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - G. Orwell)
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To: goseminoles

Little shifty-britches Miz Fluck
Musta thought she’d had some pluck,
She spewed some dumb crap
Bet she’s gotten the clap
Cause she’s obviously a dumb f*ck.


37 posted on 03/08/2012 10:36:47 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (If you want to kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.)
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To: Slicksadick

” Perhaps please consider a cuke”

Whew! Good thing I had already swallowed that mouthful of coffee!


38 posted on 03/08/2012 10:37:57 AM PST by rickomatic
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To: RetSignman

You are a fluke
Of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back.


39 posted on 03/08/2012 10:39:27 AM PST by dfwgator (Don't wake up in a roadside ditch. Get rid of Romney.)
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To: goseminoles

There once was a woman named Fluck
Through her legs you could drive a dump truck,
She don’t wanna pay,
She just wants to play,
A true man will say to her, “yuck!”


40 posted on 03/08/2012 10:41:50 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (If you want to kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.)
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To: RetSignman
And here is a double dactyl contribution:

Sluttingly, Ruttingly
Sandra Fluke, legal shrew,
Preached Barry's plan to Con-
gressional 'Rats:

"Birth control costs to screw
Copulatorily
Are paid by someone else
Screwed in the a$$."

41 posted on 03/08/2012 10:45:05 AM PST by Carl Vehse
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To: RetSignman

There once was a woman named Fluck,
Who could insert a hockey puck,
And still have room there
In her derriere
For a fleet of 18-wheel trucks.


42 posted on 03/08/2012 10:45:20 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (If you want to kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.)
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To: Carl Vehse

There once was a girl named Sandy
Who thought being slutty was dandy.
She wanted to play
And thought we should pay
Stay away from Sandy’s candy!


43 posted on 03/08/2012 10:47:18 AM PST by gimme1ibertee (If you want to kick a tiger in the ass, you better have a plan for dealing with his teeth.)
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To: RetSignman

The news cycle Rush did jolt,
Fluke prob’ly drives a Volt,
One thing is certain,
And in this I am sure,
Joe Biden remains a dolt!


44 posted on 03/08/2012 10:48:11 AM PST by Typelouder
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To: RetSignman

There once was a boy named Barry
who was more than just a little scary
He changed his name
to change the show
So the whole world
wouldn’t know.


45 posted on 03/08/2012 10:57:49 AM PST by Freddd (NoPA ngineers.)
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To: RetSignman

Just Fluck away, your neighbor will say

Hope and change, for my condoms you’ll pay


46 posted on 03/08/2012 11:36:32 AM PST by PA-RIVER
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To: taterjay
There once was a woman named Fluke

who Rush called more than a kook.

Pelosi desired her and then

we all tried her.

Her name make us all want to puke.

47 posted on 03/08/2012 11:51:14 AM PST by Broker (Talaga!)
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To: PA-RIVER

There once was a bimbette named Fluke,
The hide on a weenie could shuck,
For the price of a rubber
Would part her muff flubber,
For any and every poor schmuck!


48 posted on 03/08/2012 11:57:32 AM PST by King Hawk
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To: RetSignman

The woman named Fluke makes me puke.


49 posted on 03/08/2012 12:00:31 PM PST by Freedom_Is_Not_Free (REPEAL OBAMACARE. Nothing else matters.)
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To: ICE-FLYER

Looking at that face, if she is not yet a lesbian, she will be.


50 posted on 03/08/2012 12:01:24 PM PST by Freedom_Is_Not_Free (REPEAL OBAMACARE. Nothing else matters.)
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