Skip to comments.Catholic Shampoo
Posted on 03/10/2012 3:58:20 PM PST by NKP_Vet
TWO NUNS WERE SHOPPING AT A 7-11 STORE. AS THEY PASSED BY THE BEER COOLER, ONE NUN SAID TO THE OTHER, "WOULDN'T A NICE COOL BEER OR TWO TASTE WONDERFUL ON A HOT SUMMER EVENING?"
THE SECOND NUN ANSWERED, "INDEED IT WOULD, SISTER, BUT I WOULD NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE BUYING BEER, SINCE I AM CERTAIN IT WOULD CAUSE A SCENE AT THE CHECKOUT STAND."
"I CAN HANDLE THAT WITHOUT A PROBLEM" THE OTHER NUN REPLIED AND SHE PICKED UP A SIX-PACK AND HEADED FOR THE CHECK-OUT.
THE CASHIER HAD A SURPRISED LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN THE TWO NUNS ARRIVED WITH A SIX-PACK OF BEER.
"WE USE BEER FOR WASHING OUR HAIR. "THE NUN SAID, "BACK AT OUR NUNNERY, WE CALL IT CATHOLIC SHAMPOO."
WITHOUT BLINKING AN EYE, THE CASHIER REACHED UNDER THE COUNTER.PULLED OUT A PACKAGE OF PRETZEL STICKS, AND PLACED THEM IN THE BAG WITH THE BEER.
HE THEN LOOKED THE NUN STRAIGHT IN THE EYE, SMILED, AND SAID: "THE CURLERS ARE ON THE HOUSE. HAVE A WONDERFUL AFTERNOON".
THAT WAS VERY FUNNY. THANK YOU.
Many Many Moons ago on a ranch in a remote area the local
Pastor call and asked if he could stop by for a visit.
It was the latter part of the afternoon on a hot Summer day.
We, Mrs TaMoDee and I, usually had a refresher in the afternoon. I asked: “Father, Would like a Sheppps Bitter Lemon and Vodka?” His answer: “I thought you’d never ask!”
We could plan on a visit twice a month.
My eyeballs hurt.
One of my Favorite Catholic Blessings:
“(”for every creature of God is good, and nothing to be rejected that is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer” - I Tim. iv, 4. 5):”
BLESSING OF BEER
P: Our help is in the name of the Lord.
All: Who made heaven and earth.
P: The Lord be with you.
All: May He also be with you.
Let us pray.
Lord, bless + this creature, beer, which by your kindness and
power has been produced from kernels of grain, and let it be a
healthful drink for mankind. Grant that whoever drinks it with
thanksgiving to your holy name may find it a help in body and in
soul; through Christ our Lord.
It is sprinkled with holy water.
LOL,I’m a woman.
How do you get the letters so big? I’m not computer savvy so there’s stuff I need to learn.
“Yoo,hoo! Walter Neumann!”
my grandmother will yell that out to my grandfather, who'll be out in the shed in their back yard. It always makes me laugh. She gets so frustrated with him because he doesn't always put his hearing aids in.
Ya outta live with someone who refuses to admit he has a hearing problem...and the TV is on REAL LOUD!!
LOL! That’s a good one!
The rabbi replies "Yes. Once in my youth I had a moment of weakness, and I ate a ham sandwich."
The priest nods. After a few minutes the rabbi asks "So, Father, I don't mean to pry, but did you ever violate your vow of chastity?"
The priest sighs. "To my shame, yes. Once in my youth I had a moment of weakness, and I lay with a woman."
The rabbi thought for a moment. "Sure beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"
The next week the preacher was seen with his trusty old bike again. “Ahh - I knew preaching on the Big Ten would get you your bike back!”
“Well - yes, but not exactly like you thought. I got to the one about “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”; and I remembered where I left it.”
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