Skip to comments.Jokes
Posted on 03/14/2012 10:06:37 AM PDT by detective
America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser.
Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners.
Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America !
And who said the truth can’t be funny?
You’re a photographer taking photos of the Mississippi River. From one direction you see the presidential yacht moving upstream. From the other direction you see an out of control barge which will surely run over Obama in his yacht. You have three minutes to notify authorities and save the president or set up the camera to take a Pulitzer award winning photograph.
What lens, f-stop and shutter speed will you use when taking the photo?
Moochelle is walking down the street with a duck under her arm. A drunk staggers up and asks, “Where’d you get the pig.”
Moochelle says, “That’s not a pig . . . it’s a duck.”
The drunk says, “I was talking to the duck.”
You want a laugh? Picture this:
Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer are stranded at sea in a two person life raft. They have a compass, 1 gallon of water, 1 protein bar, one teaspoon of sunscreen, 1 cell phone that will never get a signal and is almost dead anyway, 1 oar and 1 revolver with 1 bullet.
What would you pay to watch this debacle unfold?
Who rows? In what direction? Etc.
Harry Potter joke: Debbie Wasserman Schultz is so fat the Sorting Hat put her in the House of Pancakes.
Thank you. The last one is the best.
. wait for it ...
. "What can I get you, Mr. Obama?"
Kenya tell me what country Obama was born in?
A. Trillions of dollars.
No, that's funny. If Obama were white, he wouldn't be president. Liberals in unison "That's racist!" But it's true.
A cop walks up to him and says
“hey kid, These are the same puppies you had for sale over in front of the DNC last week aren't they?
“Yes they are.”
“And you were selling them as Democrat Puppies there?”
“Well, how come they were Democrat puppies last week and now they are Tea Party puppies?”
“Now they have their eyes open”
What’s the difference between obama and God?....God doesn’t walk around all day calling himself Obama.
I enjoy telling liberals that my cat was a liberal until he was 10 days old...
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