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Scientist seeks deposits for elephant sperm bank
The Local ^ | 16 Mar 12 | Ben Knight

Posted on 03/16/2012 12:52:52 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows

Elephants in captivity are becoming too inbred, so a German researcher has amassed a sperm bank of wild elephant semen for zoos to draw on. There’s just one small problem – sperm is not a commodity bull elephants give up lightly.

(Excerpt) Read more at thelocal.de ...


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: ajobforsandra; napl
There's a job to put on your resume.
1 posted on 03/16/2012 12:53:05 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
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To: Slings and Arrows

Good idea to advertise on Free Republic. Though most of us are more conservative than Republican elephants any more.

Have they asked Karl Rove?


2 posted on 03/16/2012 12:55:06 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
Any volunteers?


3 posted on 03/16/2012 12:55:13 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Old riddle: What does an elephant have in common with milk?


4 posted on 03/16/2012 12:56:25 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy ("And the public gets what the public wants" -- The Jam)
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To: Yaelle

5 posted on 03/16/2012 12:58:47 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: ClearCase_guy

I know the answer but I don’t want to get banned!


6 posted on 03/16/2012 12:58:47 PM PDT by Stormdog (A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
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To: Slings and Arrows

You mean the job title Pachyderm Reproductive Stimulator aka as a Community Organizer?


7 posted on 03/16/2012 12:59:02 PM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Stormdog
I know the answer but I don’t want to get banned!

Teach monica lewinsky how to spit.

8 posted on 03/16/2012 1:00:41 PM PDT by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorists savages.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
9 posted on 03/16/2012 1:01:22 PM PDT by frogjerk (OBAMA NOV 2012 = HORSEMEAT)
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To: Slings and Arrows

“There’s a job to put on your resume.”

Check Sandra Fluke’s, she seems to know a lot about these kinds of things.


10 posted on 03/16/2012 1:01:53 PM PDT by Stormdog (A rifle transforms one from subject to Citizen)
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To: Slings and Arrows
There’s just one small problem – sperm is not a commodity bull elephants give up lightly.

Do what I do, get 'em goood and drunk.

11 posted on 03/16/2012 1:02:05 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (You only have three billion heartbeats in a lifetime.How many does the government claim as its own?)
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To: ClearCase_guy
Old riddle: What does an elephant have in common with milk?


12 posted on 03/16/2012 1:02:58 PM PDT by andy58-in-nh (America does not need to be organized: it needs to be liberated.)
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To: ClearCase_guy

They both come from mommy elephants?


13 posted on 03/16/2012 1:03:17 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: martin_fierro; Perdogg; Slings and Arrows; blam

Okay, but I’m not as young as I used to be.


14 posted on 03/16/2012 1:03:27 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Didn't you ever hear that song by Loverboy, "An Elephant and a Pig's DNA Just Won't Splice."

15 posted on 03/16/2012 1:04:22 PM PDT by dfwgator (Don't wake up in a roadside ditch. Get rid of Romney.)
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To: frogjerk

That’s not an elephant; that’s a beached whale.


16 posted on 03/16/2012 1:04:55 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
"There's a job to put on your resume."

Donor or collecter?

17 posted on 03/16/2012 1:06:08 PM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Mz Fluke is ready.


18 posted on 03/16/2012 1:18:29 PM PDT by Darksheare (You will never defeat Bok Choy!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

I got as far as a bushel of Gummie Bears and a few bottles of Everclear. After that the ick factor kicks in though...


19 posted on 03/16/2012 1:20:37 PM PDT by Abathar (Proudly posting without reading the article carefully since 2004)
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To: ClearCase_guy

Here’s the Jeopardy version of your old riddle: “What’s gray and comes in quarts?”


20 posted on 03/16/2012 1:26:28 PM PDT by Nervous Tick (Trust in God, but row away from the rocks!)
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To: Slings and Arrows

If they get too many donors that bank might need a “bailout”. :-)


21 posted on 03/16/2012 1:28:40 PM PDT by Nervous Tick (Trust in God, but row away from the rocks!)
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To: Nervous Tick
...paging Ms. Fluke. :-D

22 posted on 03/16/2012 1:31:32 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Simple: Kill the terrorists, Protect (all) the borders, ridicule all the (surviving) Liberals :^)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Oh, man - this should be fun...


23 posted on 03/16/2012 1:43:47 PM PDT by jagusafr ("Write in Palin and prepare for war...")
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To: Slings and Arrows
OK, so why do elephants have 4 feet?

Because 6 inches just doesn't do it...

24 posted on 03/16/2012 1:57:21 PM PDT by laker_dad
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To: dfwgator

As a counterexample, I offer Meghan McCain.


25 posted on 03/16/2012 2:00:53 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: jagusafr

Yes indeed.


26 posted on 03/16/2012 2:03:39 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: laker_dad

Sandra Fluke has spoken.


27 posted on 03/16/2012 2:07:39 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Slings and Arrows

Somehow, I think Mike Rowe is going to pass on this particular Dirty Job. . .


28 posted on 03/16/2012 2:27:23 PM PDT by Salgak
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To: Slings and Arrows
Elephants in captivity are becoming too inbred, so a German researcher has amassed a sperm bank of wild elephant semen for zoos to draw on. There’s just one small problem – sperm is not a commodity bull elephants give up lightly.

LOL.

Well, not given up lightly to German researchers I'm sure.

The Bull elephant's herd of females probably trumpet a different tune however.

29 posted on 03/16/2012 2:34:46 PM PDT by Col Freeper (FR is a smorgasbord of Conservative thoughts and ideas - dig in and enjoy it to its fullest!)
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To: Slings and Arrows
I thought males of every species liked having that done to them.
30 posted on 03/16/2012 2:37:47 PM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Slings and Arrows
There's a job to put on your resume.

When asked for details the applicant said, "Well, the pay wasn't much but the tips were really big."

31 posted on 03/16/2012 2:37:57 PM PDT by Max in Utah (A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within.)
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To: Slings and Arrows
A job for Sandra ?

Cheers!

32 posted on 03/16/2012 10:30:04 PM PDT by grey_whiskers (The opinions are solely those of the author and are subject to change without notice.)
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To: grey_whiskers

Could give her unrealistic expectations.


33 posted on 03/16/2012 10:32:04 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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