Skip to comments.CNN: First Winner Declared In Baltimore, Maryland - Mega Millions Lotto
Posted on 03/30/2012 10:46:35 PM PDT by My Favorite Headache
CNN Breaking News Alert -
First winning ticket declared in Baltimore, Maryland. $640 Million Dollar Jackpot
My guess is with the low numbers that rolled out we will probably see no less than 5 or 6 winning tickets.
The winning numbers for the largest lottery jackpot in world history — a Mega Millions prize that hit $640 million — were 46, 23, 38, 4, 2; mega ball was 23.
Damn I was hoping there would be none just to see it shoot close to a billion.
Well there is always Powerball tomorrow night for a paltry $60 million ;)
I got the Mega ball which means I won $2 bucks after spending $15. Wow, that worked out just like social security. Although if it was social security they’d tax the $2 bucks.
I smell something sinister...pretty close to the white hut..
Well we know one thing...that winner being in Maryland is going to get taxed to death.
“Lotteries For All”
I have a modest proposal. Lottery winners are filthy, stinking rich. They didnt earn this money. Instead, they got these gains off the backs of literally millions of people, often the poorest people. Some of the very poorest people really NEED to win the lottery instead of some that do. Did you know that the biggest lottery winner in American history was a successful West Virginia businessman BEFORE he won the lottery? Disgusting greed. Just imagine the hopes and ambitions of millions of players, dashed weekly by those that win the lottery instead of them. Those that dont win each week work JUST as hard trying to win the lotto as those that do win. Its not fair.
If the average person makes about thirty thousand dollars a year, and the average lottery winner makes 3 million dollars in one windfall, then the average lottery winner makes 100 times in one day what the average American makes, in a year. Big lottery winners, like the few that make over 300 million, make literally a THOUSAND times in one day what the average American can make in a year. How is it fair that a few can win lifes lottery, but not everybody? Simply put, it is NOT fair.
There is a solution.
I propose that we have a lottery tax for the lottery rich. If you arent the lottery rich, then this isnt a tax increase for you. Those lottery rich are obligated to help the rest of us step up to be lottery winners, in any case. We have the power of the police state to make this right. If we tax all but a dollar of each winner, there should be plenty to redistribute a dollar to every American. In that way, we would all win the lottery, every week.
But wait, you say, some people dont even play. Why should THEY get a dollar? Some people play many dollars a week. Why should THEY ONLY get a dollar? Well, some people are either too poor to play at all, or too uneducated to understand the benefit of playing the lottery. They simply shouldnt be penalized for their inability or failure to play. Everybody deserves to be lottery winners. Those that already pay many dollars a week can clearly afford to spend that money and so, it doesnt penalize them to continue to do so. So, we should require them to continue to play, at current levels. In fact, current players will now invest in the lottery with the sure knowledge that they too will be winners. This is literally a win-win for every American.
Some might suggest that this proposal is equal to nothing more than a fair share in a dismal lottery outcome. They might even suggest that a dollar a week shouldnt even be considered a lottery winning. Nonsense! Anybody that would suggest that is likely already a rich lottery winner, trying to protect immorally gotten gains. We have the power to ensure that everybody gets an equal share in lottery winnings. To do less would simply not be equitable. In a society as bountiful as ours, it is only fair that everybody win the lottery.
We could make this happen.
We could all be lottery winners. It is the right thing to do. If you join me, we could all literally win lifes lotteries. I even have a slogan: Winning the lotto, one vote at a time. Please join me in making the lottery fairer, for everybody. Write or call your Congressperson. Do it today.
(I wrote this in 2007)
Had a hunch it was going to be up north somewhere.
Yep, he/she might see a buck 98 if they are lucky.
Great satire to pass along.
( post #10)
When you have no money you have no money problems.
Checked my numbers! Nooooooo!
Of course you are right.
Guess I’ll go unpack my bags and call my boss in the morning to tell him I’ll be in Monday morning after all.
I made $14,000 last year. $6,000 of it from my current job that I didn’t get until October.
I owed $300 in taxes. Trust me. Not having money counts as a money problem.
SO.... is she going to ‘spread the wealth’?
Where do we send our mailing address?
Um - I’m pretty sure on the tax form there is a place for gambling winnings. Better toss the receipt into the “Tax Box”.
That’s too bad. The last thing in the world we need is to see O’Malley get more tax money to abuse.
Wish the winner could have come from anyplace else other that Merlin.
Well, of course the winner should not keep this money. Being from such a “progressive” state, I am sure they will certainly redistribute the money to be fair.
Yes...you are very PROGRESSIVE!!! This is a “fair tax”, I think. /sarc
Once they find out how much of their winnings is going to go to taxes, Maryland is going to get one or two more Republicans. Or some newly created Republicans are going to leave the state like many of our other millionaires have because of our governor’s “Millionaires Tax”.
Maybe, but regardless of how many millionaires are created, they won't outweigh the gerrymandering done to over-represent the welfare leaches in Balmer City (HON) and Pee Gee (Yo), not to mention the leftist loons in MoCo.
MD, huh? Increased the chances it’s an Obama voter. Look for the “one” to seek face time with them...
The 23 enigma refers to the belief that most incidents and events are directly connected to the number 23, some modification of the number 23, or a number related to the number 23.
Robert Anton Wilson cites William S. Burroughs as being the first person to believe in the 23 enigma. Wilson, in an article in Fortean Times, related the following story: I first heard of the 23 enigma from William S Burroughs, author of Naked Lunch, Nova Express, etc. According to Burroughs, he had known a certain Captain Clark, around 1960 in Tangier, who once bragged that he had been sailing 23 years without an accident. That very day, Clarks ship had an accident that killed him and everybody else aboard. Furthermore, while Burroughs was thinking about this crude example of the irony of the gods that evening, a bulletin on the radio announced the crash of an airliner in Florida, USA. The pilot was another captain Clark and the flight was Flight 23.
Burroughs wrote a short story in 1967 called "23 Skidoo." The term "23 skidoo" was popularized in the early 1920s and means "it's time to leave while the getting is good." It appeared in newspapers as early as 1906. Cultural references
The 1998 German film 23, starring August Diehl as computer hacker Karl Koch, tells the real-life story of computer hackers inspired by Wilson's Illuminatus! Trilogy.
The 2007 film The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey, is the story of a man who becomes obsessed with the number 23 while reading a book of the same title that seems to be about his life.
Industrial music group Throbbing Gristle recounted in great detail the meeting of Burroughs and Clark and the significance of the number 23 in the ballad "The Old Man Smiled."
In the film Support Your Local Gunfighter, the main character repeatedly bets all his money on the number 23 at the roulette table and loses until finally winning everything at the end.
The German band Welle: Erdball referenced the 23 enigma in their song "C=64/23."
one of Hurley's "Lost" winning numbers was 23
Actually the gerrymandering was done to limit the number of minority representatives elected by the Democrats. Based upon the voting rights act mandates Maryland should have added one majority-minority district and they didn’t. But the lawsuit by the minority groups challenging the map was tossed out before it got a hearing.
“(I wrote this in 2007)”
Since then I assume you’ve learned that the lottery is a way of getting the stupid poor to pay their fair share of taxes...
My lottery suggestion is to let food stamp recipients purchase tickets with their excess monthly benefits.
Not only would the winners get off food stamps, but almost half the money would be ‘lost’ right back to the states.
and it would encourage frugality in the recipients.
Plus they’d love it.
And it is just as statist and socialistic today as it was back then.
Tell Roscoe Bartlett that. (not that he is conservative, mind you...but he's better than what the Democratic Commissars will put in place to replace him this November...thanks to gerrymandering)
I hope its the lone conservative family in MD who won. Now they can escape.
Otherwise,money is only as good, or bad, as the person spending it.
“..Not only would the winners get off food stamps..”
That’s not necessarily true.
It’s just like the old saying that I just made up says,
Give a lib a fish today and tomarrow he’ll demand as his constitutional right.. two fish.
Try to teach a lib to fish and he will immediately set out to regulate the fishing Industry.
Martin O’Malley and the Maryland Department of Revenue are celebrating!
****I hope its the lone conservative family in MD who won. Now they can escape.****
Reported that his name is TOM - so it’s probably not an illegal.
I predict that lotteries will be the new obsession. Wonder how many ‘occupiers’ purchased tickets????
Bet there were a lot of family discussions around the dinner table during the past few days on how the winnings would be spent - (and some tense moments).
$640 million - that’s a lot of dreams or nightmares.
Could the person move to New Hampshire, which has no state income tax, and then claim the prize? When do you actually “win,” when the numbers are picked or when you turn in the ticket?
Like 0bama’s birth certificate, did the “winner” produce a digital image of the winning ticket?
“Father” O’Malley — as in taxes “Going My Way”?
Maryland “Freak State” PING!
The 7-11 where it was purchased is right across the intersection from my cousin’s snowball stand (I worked it for him 1 summer).
It’s iffy there. I’d say 50/50 chance of being a Dem. It IS close to the Beltway and Baltimore proper, and close to (gulp) Woodlawn (where my cousin lived out his minor years), but around that store is kind of more....light.
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