Posted on 03/30/2012 10:46:35 PM PDT by My Favorite Headache
CNN Breaking News Alert -
First winning ticket declared in Baltimore, Maryland. $640 Million Dollar Jackpot
Developing....
My guess is with the low numbers that rolled out we will probably see no less than 5 or 6 winning tickets.
The winning numbers for the largest lottery jackpot in world history — a Mega Millions prize that hit $640 million — were 46, 23, 38, 4, 2; mega ball was 23.
Damn I was hoping there would be none just to see it shoot close to a billion.
Well there is always Powerball tomorrow night for a paltry $60 million ;)
I got the Mega ball which means I won $2 bucks after spending $15. Wow, that worked out just like social security. Although if it was social security they’d tax the $2 bucks.
I smell something sinister...pretty close to the white hut..
Well we know one thing...that winner being in Maryland is going to get taxed to death.
/johnny
“Lotteries For All”
I have a modest proposal. Lottery winners are filthy, stinking rich. They didn’t earn this money. Instead, they got these gains off the backs of literally millions of people, often the poorest people. Some of the very poorest people really NEED to win the lottery instead of some that do. Did you know that the biggest lottery winner in American history was a successful West Virginia businessman BEFORE he won the lottery? Disgusting greed. Just imagine the hopes and ambitions of millions of players, dashed weekly by those that win the lottery instead of them. Those that don’t win each week work JUST as hard trying to win the lotto as those that do win. It’s not fair.
If the average person makes about thirty thousand dollars a year, and the average lottery winner makes 3 million dollars in one windfall, then the average lottery winner makes 100 times in one day what the average American makes, in a year. Big lottery winners, like the few that make over 300 million, make literally a THOUSAND times in one day what the average American can make in a year. How is it fair that a few can win life’s lottery, but not everybody? Simply put, it is NOT fair.
There is a solution.
I propose that we have a lottery tax for the lottery rich. If you aren’t the lottery rich, then this isn’t a ‘tax increase’ for you. Those lottery rich are obligated to help the rest of us step up to be lottery winners, in any case. We have the power of the police state to make this right. If we tax all but a dollar of each winner, there should be plenty to redistribute a dollar to every American. In that way, we would all win the lottery, every week.
But wait, you say, some people don’t even play. Why should THEY get a dollar? Some people play many dollars a week. Why should THEY ONLY get a dollar? Well, some people are either too poor to play at all, or too uneducated to understand the benefit of playing the lottery. They simply shouldn’t be penalized for their inability or failure to play. Everybody deserves to be lottery winners. Those that already pay many dollars a week can clearly afford to spend that money and so, it doesn’t penalize them to continue to do so. So, we should require them to continue to play, at current levels. In fact, current players will now invest in the lottery with the sure knowledge that they too will be winners. This is literally a win-win for every American.
Some might suggest that this proposal is equal to nothing more than a fair share in a dismal lottery outcome. They might even suggest that a dollar a week shouldn’t even be considered a lottery winning. Nonsense! Anybody that would suggest that is likely already a rich lottery winner, trying to protect immorally gotten gains. We have the power to ensure that everybody gets an equal share in lottery winnings. To do less would simply not be equitable. In a society as bountiful as ours, it is only fair that everybody win the lottery.
We could make this happen.
We could all be lottery winners. It is the right thing to do. If you join me, we could all literally win life’s lotteries. I even have a slogan: “Winning the lotto, one vote at a time.” Please join me in making the lottery fairer, for everybody. Write or call your Congressperson. Do it today.
(I wrote this in 2007)
Had a hunch it was going to be up north somewhere.
Yep, he/she might see a buck 98 if they are lucky.
Great satire to pass along.
( post #10)
When you have no money you have no money problems.
Checked my numbers! Nooooooo!
Of course you are right.
Guess I’ll go unpack my bags and call my boss in the morning to tell him I’ll be in Monday morning after all.
Dang it!
I made $14,000 last year. $6,000 of it from my current job that I didn’t get until October.
I owed $300 in taxes. Trust me. Not having money counts as a money problem.
SO.... is she going to ‘spread the wealth’?
Where do we send our mailing address?
Um - I’m pretty sure on the tax form there is a place for gambling winnings. Better toss the receipt into the “Tax Box”.
That’s too bad. The last thing in the world we need is to see O’Malley get more tax money to abuse.
Wish the winner could have come from anyplace else other that Merlin.
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