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Dave Says Move It
Townhall.com ^ | April 4, 2012 | Dave Ramsey

Posted on 04/08/2012 6:38:10 PM PDT by Altariel

Dear Dave,

My husband works two hours away from home. He gets up at 3 a.m. and doesn’t get home until 7 p.m. We have a fully funded emergency fund, and he makes $95,000 a year. My parents’ place is an hour from his job, and they’ve offered to let us live with them. What do you think of this idea?

Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Why don’t you just sell the house and move closer to where he works? If he makes that kind of money and you’ve got your emergency fund in place, you should be able to handle moving costs. I’ve got to be honest, I’d do the two hours to work and two hours home drive maybe once before I’d begin seriously looking for a place much closer.

Right now, you guys don’t have a life. And moving in with your parents wouldn’t be much better. That poor guy practically lives on the road, and I’m sure you both want more quality time together. He sounds like a great guy, though, to be willing to go through all that. He’s busting his tail and doing what it takes to provide for his family, but there’s just no reason for either of you to go through this kind of pain and inconvenience.

Get your house on the market, and find a little rental near his job for now. You can rebuild part of your emergency fund if necessary, but if I’m in your shoes, I’m going to fix this logistical nightmare as fast as humanly possible!

—Dave

Dear Dave,

My husband and I need to update our will, but we’re not sure how to divide the money. All of our children are grown, including my three stepsons. The problem is that two of my stepsons are irresponsible with money and are drug users. Do you have any advice?

Colleen

Dear Colleen,

Typically, if you give money to a drug user they’ll use it for one thing: drugs. Your goal as a parent is to love them and teach them to the best of your ability. Buying their drugs upon your death doesn’t fall into either of those categories. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you deciding not to leave them any money as long as they’re involved in this kind of activity.

If it were me, I’d have a reading of the will when the changes are made. Then, I’d sit down with the family members and explain why you’ve updated the will in this manner. Let them know you love them and want what’s best for them, but you and your husband have decided you’re not going to take a chance on funding any misbehavior on their part.

Make sure you let them know, too, that things can change if they change. They might be mad and fuss about it, but that’s okay. Let them be mad. It’s perfectly all right for you to attach stipulations to any inheritance they might receive, especially when it’s for their own good!

—Dave

* For more financial help, please visit daveramsey.com.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: daveramsey; ramsey

1 posted on 04/08/2012 6:38:24 PM PDT by Altariel
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To: Altariel

I also live two hours (or more, depending upon traffic)from work. Yeah, Dave...good luck selling the house. Not gonna happen. Foreclosure on one side of me, my house underwater. Let’s be realistic.


2 posted on 04/08/2012 6:43:38 PM PDT by freepertoo
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To: Altariel

I also live two hours (or more, depending upon traffic)from work. Yeah, Dave...good luck selling the house. Not gonna happen. Foreclosure on one side of me, my house underwater. Let’s be realistic.


3 posted on 04/08/2012 6:43:45 PM PDT by freepertoo
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To: freepertoo

I guess that depends on how much of a loss they are willing to absorb. I’d be willing to, if I could afford it, to take a 20 grand loss, if it meant having that extra couple of hours a day personal time, but that’s me.


4 posted on 04/08/2012 6:48:25 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Altariel
My parents’ place is an hour from his job, and they’ve offered to let us live with them.

I'd sooner die a spectacular death on the road than do that.
5 posted on 04/08/2012 6:53:28 PM PDT by Goldsborough
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To: Goldsborough

That would be doable, if you only go there to sleep. Lots of eating out and going to movies otherwise.


6 posted on 04/08/2012 6:57:15 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Jonty30

If he moves a half hour from his job, he gains 3 hours a day or 15 a week. Take a 10 hour a week job delivering pizzas, and he still gets 5 more hours a week to be home.


7 posted on 04/08/2012 7:09:49 PM PDT by tbw2
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To: Altariel

Maybe rent the house and buy/rent one closer to work.

Even if you have to take a monetary loss, I just don’t think it is worth 4 hours a day of anyone’s time. You’ll never ever get that time back, but you might have a shot at getting the money back somehow.


8 posted on 04/08/2012 7:12:53 PM PDT by Lorianne (fedgov, taxporkmoney)
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To: tbw2

Exactly.

If he got busy delivering pizzas, on weekends, he’d make up the difference in about a year. Less, if he spent all his free time doing that.


9 posted on 04/08/2012 7:15:11 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Altariel

I do like Dave’s common sense financial advice. It’s helped me and my family a lot over the years.


10 posted on 04/08/2012 7:20:27 PM PDT by lquist1
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To: Altariel

He gets up at 3 a.m. and doesn’t get home until 7 p.m.


That’s just insane.


11 posted on 04/08/2012 7:23:03 PM PDT by rbg81
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To: tbw2

I live about thirty-five minutes away from work and it costs me about 200 dollars a month, so it must be costing him upwards of 600 dollars a month in gas.


12 posted on 04/08/2012 7:30:09 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Altariel

For a couple of years, my husband and I lived apart, because his work was quite a distance away. He lived in an apartment during the week and came home on weekends.

The price of houses where he worked was (and still is, I believe) astronomical. At least a few years ago, houses are simply not affordable where the jobs are. I saw a show about people who work in L.A. and live 3-4 hours away... they spend all their time commuting. Ick.


13 posted on 04/08/2012 7:31:35 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: Altariel
assuming he has to be at work at 8am with a two hour drive, why in the hell does he have to get up at 3am???
14 posted on 04/08/2012 7:35:19 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Chode

My guess is so that he has some measure of personal time. Early mornings may be the only time he can make work in his situation.


15 posted on 04/08/2012 7:41:46 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Jonty30
that must really suck then...
16 posted on 04/08/2012 7:50:18 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Chode

That depends on what he wants to do. I know many serious exercisers who voluntarily get up at 4 or 5, so they can get a really good workout in. That might be what he’s doing.


17 posted on 04/08/2012 7:59:50 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Jonty30

Wow, I live 25 min from work, 1/2 city driving and I don’t spend half that.

Just saying...
JB


18 posted on 04/08/2012 8:02:56 PM PDT by thatjoeguy (MAYDAY! MAYDAY! We are so going in ! !)
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To: thatjoeguy

I live in Canada, so part of it is due to our gas price. We are currently paying about 5.40 a gallon.

The other part is that I really like to get home in thirty minutes and not the 37 minutes it would normally take me, if the speed limit was supposed to mean something.:)


19 posted on 04/08/2012 8:08:00 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Jonty30
i know a couple like that... something i could never do, lucky i can get on the treadmill after work but then again i only have a 25min drive
20 posted on 04/08/2012 8:38:34 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: Chode

Mornings are an optimum time to work out, for mort people, because you dont have life getting in thé way. In thé evening, you have to right off social outings, TV shows, ans motivational issues.


21 posted on 04/08/2012 8:49:12 PM PDT by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: Jonty30
in my case, i value sleep more than the social issues
22 posted on 04/08/2012 8:58:51 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: freepertoo

Most people who are in the situation described to Dave wouldn’t have made the mistake of being underwater on their house.

And if you aren’t underwater, whatever loss you take on your house you’ll “get back” because the house you buy will also be dirt cheap. 2 hours isn’t really that far to be in a different cost market.

So the only problem is if you owe more than your house is worth, since you can’t borrow more than your new house is worth to buy an equivalent house.

Of course, if you are underwater, you are already in debt whether you have realized that debt or not.


23 posted on 04/08/2012 9:28:00 PM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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To: Jonty30

I live 45 minutes from work and $200 monthly gasoline...


24 posted on 04/08/2012 11:15:38 PM PDT by hoosierham (Freedom isn't free)
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To: Altariel

Bump


25 posted on 04/09/2012 5:08:29 AM PDT by lowbridge (Rep. Dingell: "Its taken a long time.....to control the people.")
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To: CharlesWayneCT
Most people who are in the situation described to Dave wouldn’t have made the mistake of being underwater on their house.

The MISTAKE of being underwater???? Really?? Did you predict the housing market would crash say in 1997?

26 posted on 04/09/2012 10:08:25 AM PDT by Moleman
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To: Moleman

No, and I even downplayed the doom-and-gloom here at FR, mostly because I thought banks were too smart to actually lend money they would never get back.

On the other hand, I owned a home throughout this period, and unlike some of my more adventerous neighbors and others here and elsewhere, I didn’t re-mortgage my house every time it went up in value, just to take out the money and buy stuff I couldn’t afford.

So when my house went from being “worth” $500,000, to being “worth” $200,000, I was still well above water, because I never owed more than $120,000 on the house.

There are some people who actually had to buy their first homes into the height of the market. They are the ones I actually feel sorry for. But anybody who already owned a home — they could sell their home and buy a new home and not incur more debt, and keep well below the outrageous price peaks in their mortgage, and not get burned.

On the other hand, many of those underwater did get to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on cool stuff, while I did not.

The point is that people who follow Dave’s advice (I’m not one of those, although I largely live my life in the manner he suggests, just because that was how I was raised — I simply don’t share his aversion to credit, since I don’t find it a temptation and therefore can use it for my advantage) — those people won’t likely be underwater, because they will have limited their borrowing and will be able to follow this advice.

More broadly, I’ll say that having money makes it much easier to handle money issues. People with money can borrow money more cheaply, can buy things when they are on sale, can replace instead of fixing when it makes economic sense, and in general can make better and therefore more frugal choices in their lives. So I think Dave is correct in fact — save up money, and it will make your life better.


27 posted on 04/09/2012 2:43:42 PM PDT by CharlesWayneCT
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