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Self-Centered Vanity Posts Inconvenience Me (Vanity)
April 9, 2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 04/09/2012 9:52:24 AM PDT by Lazamataz

Just this morning, RetSignMan posted this post apologizing for his self-centeredness over the years.

Does he know how much this inconveniences ME? My life was slightly impacted, negatively, by this post and I'm not seeing how it benefits me.

People have to think how will it affect LAZ before they post a selfish- and self-centered vanity post. Being self-centered is no excuse for failing to think about me: My life, my fortunes, my good luck, and the other things in my life.

Self-centeredness is a vile trait that I have eliminated in my life to benefit my path and my mental heath. I am a much better ME for having lost my self-centered focus on me. I am so damned cool now. I hope ANY of you can become ONE TENTH as enlighted as me.

To demonstrate how you have become a little more like ME, stop posting self-centered vanities.

(Here I am in meditation, to become a much better me)



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: lazvanity; lazwouldhitit
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Always ask yourself how being self-centered serves Lazamataz.
1 posted on 04/09/2012 9:52:30 AM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: RetSignman

This one’s for you, bud. :)


2 posted on 04/09/2012 9:53:20 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz

So shall it be written. So shall it be done, O Great One.


3 posted on 04/09/2012 9:54:59 AM PDT by BipolarBob (Life's too short to fish with a dead cricket.)
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To: Lazamataz

Well, there’s a minute and a half of my life that I’ll never get back.

On the bright side, I didn’t need that particular minute and a half anyway.


4 posted on 04/09/2012 9:55:22 AM PDT by humblegunner
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To: Lazamataz
"Well, enough about me.......now what do you think of me?"
5 posted on 04/09/2012 9:55:55 AM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Lazamataz

6 posted on 04/09/2012 9:55:55 AM PDT by mnehring
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; Slings and Arrows; Responsibility2nd; doorgunner69; ..
The Official Lazamataz Funny-But-Somewhat-Disturbing Ping List
27 Satisfied Customers!TM

7 posted on 04/09/2012 9:56:34 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz

I salute you.


8 posted on 04/09/2012 9:56:37 AM PDT by Mr. Lucky
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To: Lazamataz; Slings and Arrows; Revolting cat!
It was a nice vanity.


9 posted on 04/09/2012 9:57:07 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Barack Obama continued to sponsor Jeremiah Wright after he said "G.D. AMERIKKA!"Where's the outrage?)
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To: Lazamataz
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
10 posted on 04/09/2012 9:57:29 AM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: Mr. Lucky

I never make idle threats. :)


11 posted on 04/09/2012 9:57:53 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz
If justice were truly blind here, you'd get the ZOT for this piece of Vanity.

You're stature and influence here might be the ‘get out of jail’ free card. You are a percocious, self centered, egotistical, maniacal and presumtptious Vanity Hack.

And you shouldn't call other people names either.

:o)

12 posted on 04/09/2012 10:00:02 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (With regards to the GOP: I am prodisestablishmentarianistic!)
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To: Lazamataz

Obviously, it’s all about you. Everything is as it should be.


13 posted on 04/09/2012 10:00:02 AM PDT by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: Lazamataz
Existentially speaking.....if I do something for me, and we are all brothers and sisters in the universe (with you at the center, natch...)....does that, by default, benefit you? I mean like I was gonna sell some stock today that's riding pretty high but I thought to myself I said "Self....how does this affect Laz??? I was frozen by indecision without further spiritual guidance.....so I sat on the sumbitch.
14 posted on 04/09/2012 10:00:03 AM PDT by RightOnline (I am Andrew Breitbart!)
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To: Lazamataz

You're a 1-bit brain with a parity error

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.

You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.

May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you.

You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease. You are a puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.

You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.
Your writing has to be a troll.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.

Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult.

If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

Originally Posted by FReeper: Firehat

/S

LOLOLOLOL

 

Luv yuh Laz....


15 posted on 04/09/2012 10:00:29 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Lazamataz

16 posted on 04/09/2012 10:00:56 AM PDT by TheBattman (Isn't the lesser evil... still evil?)
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To: Tenacious 1
You are a percocious, self centered, egotistical, maniacal and presumtptious Vanity Hack

Well, at least you are thinking about ME, writing about ME, talking about ME, and otherwise on the ME TRAIN.

17 posted on 04/09/2012 10:01:32 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: a fool in paradise

18 posted on 04/09/2012 10:01:49 AM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: humblegunner; Lazamataz

Also on the bright side, this vanity doesn’t link to a blog.


19 posted on 04/09/2012 10:03:47 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Vendome

The most important thing is, you made that entire post about ME.


20 posted on 04/09/2012 10:03:58 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz
IBTZ! Oh, and

;)

21 posted on 04/09/2012 10:04:10 AM PDT by DCBryan1 (Tagline removed at the request of someone who doesn't "get" Monty Python or Shakespeare.)
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To: Lazamataz
Well, at least you are thinking about ME, writing about ME, talking about ME, and otherwise on the ME TRAIN.

Youniverse!

22 posted on 04/09/2012 10:04:36 AM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: Lazamataz

For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In compliment extern, ‘tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at: I am not what I am.

—Iago


23 posted on 04/09/2012 10:04:36 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Lazamataz
People have to think how will it affect LAZ before they post a selfish- and self-centered vanity post.

Rest assured that this is ALWAYS my first concern.

ML/NJ

24 posted on 04/09/2012 10:05:00 AM PDT by ml/nj
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To: TheBattman

I invented the term asshat. You need to credit, ME, Laz, the best author in the entire planet, every time you mention the phrase ASSHAT.


25 posted on 04/09/2012 10:05:07 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz
OREILLYISM
26 posted on 04/09/2012 10:05:36 AM PDT by FrankR
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To: Cicero

I love it because it is so ME.


27 posted on 04/09/2012 10:06:26 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz

Not guilty!


28 posted on 04/09/2012 10:06:38 AM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Real men are not threatened by strong women." -- Sarah Palin)
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To: Lazamataz
This could get recursive very quickly. Terminally recursive. Fork bomb recursive.

/johnny

29 posted on 04/09/2012 10:07:03 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Lazamataz

It’s Monday, April the 9th.

Laz day.

Live it up. Hell, Hit It!

There should be a ticker tape parade in your honor.


30 posted on 04/09/2012 10:07:05 AM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: Lazamataz

NOTHING Spartaaaa!!!!!!!

Yeah, this is ALL about YOU!


31 posted on 04/09/2012 10:07:05 AM PDT by onyx (SUPPORT FREE REPUBLIC, DONATE MONTHLY. If you want on Sarah Palin's Ping List, let me know.)
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To: Lazamataz
Always ask yourself how being self-centered serves Lazamataz.

Because if I'm self-centered then I don't have to ask you to do it for me. :)

32 posted on 04/09/2012 10:07:23 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg (There will be no vote for Myth Romney in my house. Period.)
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To: Lazamataz

33 posted on 04/09/2012 10:08:45 AM PDT by JRios1968 (I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
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To: Lazamataz

Looky here now. I feel cheated as wasting MY time opening a LAZ thread without a girlee pic. And I don’t mean a Helen pic either. Try to be more considerate of MY time as well. :-)


34 posted on 04/09/2012 10:09:29 AM PDT by SgtHooper (The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.)
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To: JRandomFreeper
This could get recursive very quickly.

You sir, get it in the way only a computer developer could. :)

35 posted on 04/09/2012 10:09:40 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz
and to think ... This maybe is the thread of the day. Great post Laz!
36 posted on 04/09/2012 10:10:01 AM PDT by no-to-illegals (Please God, Protect and Bless Our Men and Women in Uniform with Victory. Amen.)
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To: Lazamataz

It’s always fun with some of the wittiest of characters here. And there are plenty of them.


37 posted on 04/09/2012 10:10:08 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (With regards to the GOP: I am prodisestablishmentarianistic!)
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To: Tenacious 1

Yes indeed


38 posted on 04/09/2012 10:11:38 AM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom)
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To: Lazamataz
I'm ready for my closeup Mr DeMille. Don't forget to read my vanity post at FR as well. It's a masterpiece.


39 posted on 04/09/2012 10:11:38 AM PDT by Lazlo in PA (Now living in a newly minted Red State.)
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To: Lazamataz
I'm a cook. I'd like to think that after the final sign off from my parole officer, that whole developer thing would be behind me.

/johnny

40 posted on 04/09/2012 10:12:39 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Lazamataz
"Always ask yourself how being self-centered serves Lazamataz." Easy. If I post this picture, it gives Laz something to look at.
41 posted on 04/09/2012 10:16:01 AM PDT by GenXteacher (He that hath no stomach for this fight, let him depart!)
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To: Lazamataz
Interesting! Clicking on the keywords: lazvanity yields only one result. This thread.

However, my keyword, LAZWOULDHITIT, THAT I INVENTED, yields hours of fun!

42 posted on 04/09/2012 10:16:09 AM PDT by DCBryan1 (Tagline removed at the request of someone who doesn't "get" Monty Python or Shakespeare.)
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To: JRandomFreeper
This could get recursive very quickly.

Already posted here

43 posted on 04/09/2012 10:16:45 AM PDT by a fool in paradise (Barack Obama continued to sponsor Jeremiah Wright after he said "G.D. AMERIKKA!"Where's the outrage?)
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To: DCBryan1
Interesting! Clicking on the keywords: lazvanity yields only one result. This thread. However, my keyword, LAZWOULDHITIT, THAT I INVENTED, yields hours of fun!

Well then. Looks like you have hours of work ahead of you, to popularize my keyword, which I invented, that is mine.

44 posted on 04/09/2012 10:18:16 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: SgtHooper
Photobucket
45 posted on 04/09/2012 10:18:26 AM PDT by Clay Moore (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of a fool to the left. Ecclesiastes 10:2)
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To: GenXteacher

GOOD JOB!


46 posted on 04/09/2012 10:19:58 AM PDT by Lazamataz (Shut up and drill.)
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To: Lazamataz
I have nothing to say, so here is a gif of Kate Upton dancing around.


47 posted on 04/09/2012 10:20:15 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (I will never vote for Romney. Ever.)
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To: Lazamataz

Yeah, but if I don’t post a vanity how will you know I like dogs/cats/bought a gun/new car/new motorcycle/having problems with my computer/child entered the military or simply am bored and want some attention?


48 posted on 04/09/2012 10:20:15 AM PDT by CodeToad (I'm so right-wing if I lifted my left leg I'd go into a spin.)
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To: Lazamataz
Well, at least you are thinking about ME, writing about ME, talking about ME, and otherwise on the ME TRAIN.

Obama, is that you? ;-)

49 posted on 04/09/2012 10:20:15 AM PDT by Fast Moving Angel (Newt's not a perfect candidate but Jesus isn't running this year. - shoff)
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To: Lazamataz

I’m gonna need a boat soon.


50 posted on 04/09/2012 10:24:26 AM PDT by Tenacious 1 (With regards to the GOP: I am prodisestablishmentarianistic!)
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