Skip to comments.Self-Centered Vanity Posts Inconvenience Me (Vanity)
Posted on 04/09/2012 9:52:24 AM PDT by Lazamataz
Just this morning, RetSignMan posted this post apologizing for his self-centeredness over the years.
Does he know how much this inconveniences ME? My life was slightly impacted, negatively, by this post and I'm not seeing how it benefits me.
People have to think how will it affect LAZ before they post a selfish- and self-centered vanity post. Being self-centered is no excuse for failing to think about me: My life, my fortunes, my good luck, and the other things in my life.
Self-centeredness is a vile trait that I have eliminated in my life to benefit my path and my mental heath. I am a much better ME for having lost my self-centered focus on me. I am so damned cool now. I hope ANY of you can become ONE TENTH as enlighted as me.
To demonstrate how you have become a little more like ME, stop posting self-centered vanities.
(Here I am in meditation, to become a much better me)
This one’s for you, bud. :)
So shall it be written. So shall it be done, O Great One.
Well, there’s a minute and a half of my life that I’ll never get back.
On the bright side, I didn’t need that particular minute and a half anyway.
I salute you.
I never make idle threats. :)
You're stature and influence here might be the ‘get out of jail’ free card. You are a percocious, self centered, egotistical, maniacal and presumtptious Vanity Hack.
And you shouldn't call other people names either.
Obviously, it’s all about you. Everything is as it should be.
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.
You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.
May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you.
You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease. You are a puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.
You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.
Your writing has to be a troll.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me.
After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.
Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult.
If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
Originally Posted by FReeper: Firehat
Luv yuh Laz....
Well, at least you are thinking about ME, writing about ME, talking about ME, and otherwise on the ME TRAIN.
Also on the bright side, this vanity doesn’t link to a blog.
The most important thing is, you made that entire post about ME.
For when my outward action doth demonstrate
The native act and figure of my heart
In compliment extern, ‘tis not long after
But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve
For daws to peck at: I am not what I am.
Rest assured that this is ALWAYS my first concern.
I invented the term asshat. You need to credit, ME, Laz, the best author in the entire planet, every time you mention the phrase ASSHAT.
I love it because it is so ME.
It’s Monday, April the 9th.
Live it up. Hell, Hit It!
There should be a ticker tape parade in your honor.
Yeah, this is ALL about YOU!
Because if I'm self-centered then I don't have to ask you to do it for me. :)
Looky here now. I feel cheated as wasting MY time opening a LAZ thread without a girlee pic. And I don’t mean a Helen pic either. Try to be more considerate of MY time as well. :-)
You sir, get it in the way only a computer developer could. :)
It’s always fun with some of the wittiest of characters here. And there are plenty of them.
However, my keyword, LAZWOULDHITIT, THAT I INVENTED, yields hours of fun!
Already posted here
Well then. Looks like you have hours of work ahead of you, to popularize my keyword, which I invented, that is mine.
Yeah, but if I don’t post a vanity how will you know I like dogs/cats/bought a gun/new car/new motorcycle/having problems with my computer/child entered the military or simply am bored and want some attention?
Obama, is that you? ;-)
I’m gonna need a boat soon.